by Hannah Doyle
‘One more step and you’ll have reached the summit.’
With one last burst of energy she scrambles over the top, me in hot pursuit. I find her lying like a starfish on the grass. I lie next to her, our fingers touching, enjoying the rush of endorphins as I stare up at the airplane trails criss-crossing the sky.
Alice is the first to sit up, pulling herself into a cross-legged position. A smile spreads across the whole of her face, eyes bright with the effort.
‘That was incredible! Sorry I swore at you a lot.’
‘Did you?’
‘You didn’t hear?’
‘Nope.’
‘Right. Well I definitely didn’t call you a dastardly bastard or anything,’ she grins. ‘Only dainty words of love fell from my lips as I feared for my life.’
Dainty words of love?
I’m not sure if today could get any better. She definitely just used the ‘l’ word. I know well enough by now not to make a big deal about it so I carry on watching the sky, my heart quietly on fire. For her to even talk about that kind of stuff is a massive deal and it gives me hope that one day, one day, she might feel that way about me. I watch Alice jump up to survey the peaks around us, looking like a conqueror with her legs stretched wide, her hair whipping madly in the wind.
‘Top of the morning to ya!’ she calls over to the couple in their fifties who’ve reached the top of the next crag along. They wave their Thermos flasks at her.
‘Are you Irish now?’ I hoot.
‘I do not know where that came from,’ she giggles, pulling me up to stand and wrapping her arms around my waist. ‘It’s invigorating up here.’
‘I think so too.’
‘There’s just one small problem,’ she says, biting her lip and looking up at me.
‘I brought snacks, don’t worry.’
‘Not that,’ she laughs. ‘Though, thank god, I’m starving. The problem I’m talking about is our descent. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to climb back down again.’
‘Then I have good news for you.’ I spin us both round, away from the edge, towards a gently sloping path.
‘THERE’S A PATH? Why didn’t we just walk up that in the first place?!’
‘Because that wouldn’t have been rock climbing, would it? Besides, I very much enjoyed the view as I climbed up behind you,’ I wink.
She places both hands on my chest and gives me a playful push back towards the edge.
‘So what you’re saying is, we’ve spent the morning risking my life scaling the world’s second highest mountain …’
‘Still just a crag …’
‘Scaling this behemoth,’ she presses on. ‘And all because you wanted to admire my ass?’
‘It wasn’t the only reason,’ I grin.
‘I’m afraid that puts you right at the top of my hitlist, Zach Moretti. Your entire life now hinges on the calibre of those snacks you mentioned.’
Unzipping my backpack, I pull out a bottle of water, a couple of Snickers and some Real McCoys.
She bites her lip as she considers the offerings.
‘You’re safe,’ she grins, ripping open the crisps.
Reaching out to hold her hand, we fall into the kind of comfortable silence that reassures me that she’s feeling at ease with me again, just like I am with her. All I can think about is how happy I am to be here with her. Not long ago, I spent most of my time hunting for the next thing as if they were targets to hit. Girlfriend, house, marriage, kids. It strikes me that right now, I’m content to just be. How could I not enjoy the simple pleasures of eating a Snickers out in the wild with my girlfriend?
‘You looked a bit like Tarzan climbing up that rock after me,’ Alice points out.
‘I’ll take that,’ I laugh, giving her a squeeze.
‘MY ARMS!’ she wails, stopping to rub them.
‘You’ll be feeling it for a few days,’ I warn.
‘Rock climbing,’ she says in an astonished voice. ‘Who’d have thought it. I would never have tried it if we hadn’t met.’
‘I think it’s fair to say that we’ve both done a few things we wouldn’t necessarily have tried if we hadn’t met.’
Alice nods. ‘I’m always up for new adventures but there’s something about you, Zach. I’ve never been fussed about sharing the adventures with a boy before.’ We skirt down towards the car park and she looks off towards the cars, lost in thought. ‘Maybe I am starting to believe in l … stuff.’
‘Le stuff? Is that French?’ I tease, mostly because if I let myself dwell on her last sentence too long Chandler’s dance might come out in real life and nobody needs to see that. She was definitely about to say love, I’m sure of it.
‘Shut up,’ she punches me in the side.
‘You old romantic.’
‘You know what I mean, though? I feel like I’ve grown in ways I never expected this summer. Sort of … allowing more stuff in?’
‘I do know. I was just thinking how my own outlook on life seems to be readjusting.’
Alice pulls a lip balm out of her rucksack and smooths some onto her lips, making them shine. ‘Mmm. Me too,’ she nods. ‘Hard to explain, really. One thing’s for sure. I’m definitely happy.’
‘Same,’ I grin, and she kisses me with those soft lips. I may not have my dream future all lined up, but what I do have is worth so much more than that. A brilliant, beautiful girlfriend who makes my whole world brighter. Maybe I don’t need promises of a happily ever after, after all.
Supermoon
Alice
‘S is for sex, surely? Oodles of it. A whole weekend of ripping each other’s clothes off. It will forever be known as the weekend of a thousand orgasms,’ Natalie’s looking lusty as she leans towards me. I push my laptop back and let my mind wander for a minute.
‘So …?’ She prods, all thoughts of work clearly abandoned. ‘Are you going to share details of your make-up sex with me or what? Come on! Huge fight. Big split. Reunion followed by cute climbing date. That is surely the recipe for an absolute bonk fest?’
‘You’re spot on,’ I laugh. ‘But Nat, are you okay?’
‘Yeah yeah, fine,’ she clicks her fingers dismissively. ‘Ever since going on this man sabbatical I find myself craving details of other people’s sex lives. You know Betty, from the bakery?’
‘The sixty-year-old with an unfailing commitment to blue eyeshadow?’
‘Still bonks her husband daily. Isn’t that sweet?’
‘Gosh. May I ask how you know this?’ I fold my arms.
‘We just got chatting when I went to buy buns,’ she shrugs. ‘So …’
‘Do you think it’s time for you to start dating again?’
‘Nah. Too much faff. What I need is a purely physical partner who will occasionally take me out for dinner, like, once a month. Most men are so needy.’
‘Natalie, you have transformed.’
She bites the end of the pencil she was using to make notes. We’re working on branding for our new company which we’ve now named The Hitch, focusing on eco-friendly weddings using seasonal flowers and local, independent providers. I’m buzzing with ideas and it feels like setting up my flower shop all over again, only this time with Nat’s events knowledge and the help of a certain artist I’m dating. Zach has been brilliant with the branding side of things and I’m so happy with our new logo.
‘I think we’ve both changed, actually,’ Nat says. ‘Even though you seem to be refusing to throw me any details of your make-up sexathon, I can see that you’re super happy right now.’
‘I am,’ I agree. ‘I’ve realised that having Zach around doesn’t mean I have to give up on my own freedom, you know? It’s not like I’ve lost my identity, I’ve just gained a whole other person to share experiences with.’
‘Whereas I am way better at being on my own than I thought,’ Nat says. ‘I’m not defined by the person I’m dating any more and now I have the time to throw myself into new challenges like our business.’
&nbs
p; ‘Speaking of which, this is meant to be a work meeting,’ I point out, shuffling the stack of handwritten notes in front of me.
‘Fine,’ she sighs. ‘Though may I just add that I think Zach sounds like a keeper.’
‘You might be right. You know he knows the words to pretty much all songs from the noughties? Let me show you.’
I pull out my phone and send Zach a Justin Timberlake lyric.
He taps back instantly with the next line of the song.
Nat roars. ‘He looks like he spent his teenage years listening to David Bowie and wanting to be Serge Gainsbourg and yet there’s a little bit of mainstream hiding under his arty exterior.’
I grin. ‘I love that about him.’
Natalie raises her eyebrows and I’m left thinking how easily that last sentence came out.
‘Did you just say the L word?’ She asks.
I roll my pencil backwards and forwards on the table, deep in thought. ‘I’ve felt this almost physical pull towards him, even from the first day we met. So, maybe, yeah. Whatever life throws at us we seem to end up orbiting round each other.’
‘So what you’re saying is he makes you feel out of this world?’ Natalie jokes.
That’s when the perfect idea for our next date pops into my head.
My heart flutters when the doorbell rings on Saturday night and I open it to find Zach leaning against the doorway. I’m so excited for tonight and also a little bit nervous. It feels like the right time to tell Zach how I feel, mostly because the thoughts have been taking up most of my headspace for days now, and I think I have the ideal date to say what I need to say.
‘Hello, you.’
‘Hello YOU!’ I press my body up against his and inhale that familiar citrus scent. He leans back to look at me and I feel a bit giddy.
‘I brought a coat and hat as instructed.’
‘Excellent,’ I nod, pulling him inside. You’d be forgiven for thinking that autumn has started early this year, what with August being pretty grey and rainy so far.
‘Are you going to tell me then?’ He asks, that wry smile curling at his lips.
I clap. I’m quite excited about this one. As I run into the kitchen to grab my stuff I call out: ‘Supermoon.’
‘Superman?’ Zach shouts after me excitedly. I walk back in to find him delightedly saying the words ‘comic convention’ to himself and my heart melts.
‘Sorry, no. Super MOON. If there had been a Superman thing in town then obviously we’d be going to it.’
Zach coughs. ‘Yeah, no, that’s fine. I definitely wouldn’t be fussed about going to a comic convention anyway,’ he says, talking in his deepest voice and pretending to deny his cute thing for superheroes.
‘No, for sure, what with you being so utterly cool and all that.’
‘Exactly,’ he laughs. ‘So, what does a supermoon date involve?’
‘Prepare to be amazed, Zach.’ My stomach fizzes as I grab his hand and we head outside.
We straighten up the picnic blanket before folding down onto it and I hand Zach a tin of gin and tonic from the stash in my bag.
‘It might be a bit fizzy from the walk …’ but my warning comes too late. Gin and tonic explodes out of the can and into Zach’s face, spritzing his wild dark hair with supermarket booze.
‘Argh!’ He laughs, fumbling for a tissue. ‘My glasses are covered.’
I ease his specs off and give them a clean while he deals with the rest. Zach looks so sweet without his glasses on. They’re a permanent part of his style but when we wake up together in the mornings, I love to see him without them on. All short-sighted and ever so slightly vulnerable, which is probably a weird thing to like about my boyfriend? He’s just ever so slightly less polished at times like this, and ever so slightly less intimidatingly handsome.
‘You’ll be needing these. Spectacles for tonight’s spectacle,’ I hand them back and try not to laugh too hard at my own joke.
‘Sex spectacle?’ he suggests.
‘What is wrong with everyone at the moment?’ I titter. ‘I don’t have a one track mind, you know?’
‘No,’ he nods. ‘Maybe two tracks.’
I reach back into my rucksack and pull out the fish and chips we grabbed on our way up to the top of Meersbrook Park. I hand one paper bag to Zach and unwrap the second, the tang of salt and vinegar filling my nostrils. By the time the sun sets there’s a definite chill in the air, a warm cloudless day having given way to a crisp night. We’re lying like sardines in a tin, tucked up next to each other on our backs as we watch the stars come out.
‘The good news is that I’m an expert astrologer,’ Zach announces.
‘Really?’
‘Yup. Can you see the very bright star up to the left, above those trees?’
‘The red-ish one?’
‘That’s … Mars.’
‘What’s with the suspicious pause?’ I ask, snuggling in next to him.
‘Nothing.’
‘Also Mars is not a star,’ I point out.
‘All right! I might be trying to consult the star-gazing app I just downloaded.’
‘You’re cheating!’
‘No, just, er, enriching?’
‘My mum always used to tell me a story about how the moon was made of cheese and I spent most of my childhood wanting to eat it.’
‘Sounds very much like you,’ he laughs.
‘The moon’s bloody massive tonight though, isn’t it? Apparently there are only a few of these a year. They happen when a full moon is at its closest point to earth.’
‘It’s stunning,’ Zach says, lifting his arms behind his head. I curl in next to him, resting my head in the pit of his arm. ‘This explains why you’re wearing a jumper with stars all over it,’ he grins, turning to look at me.
‘You know I love a theme,’ I reply.
‘This is nice, Alice. Really nice.’
‘This is my favourite park in Sheffield. You get such great views out over the city. It’s amazing on bonfire night and when it snows in the winter, people bring their skis and ski down there,’ I say, pointing at the steepest hill.
‘You know, I haven’t been to a bonfire night in years.’
‘What? Why not?’ I pull my gaze away from the city below and turn to him.
‘Tiny’s not big into fireworks so I usually spend the night dog-sitting while Raff and Ellie take Sienna and Francesca to a big display. I’m sure he’d be all right by himself for the evening but I like to keep an eye on him and I know Raff appreciates it.’
‘That’s really thoughtful of you. But the twins are five, so are you telling me you haven’t seen a firework in all that time?’ I’m incredulous. I love a firework.
‘They only started going out when my nieces were two or three so it’s not been that long,’ he’s laughing at my reaction.
‘Well this year will be different.’
‘It will?’
‘Yes. I absolutely insist that we spend bonfire night together.’ I hold up a finger to let him know there’s more to come. ‘I know what you’re about to say. We can still go and dog sit Tiny. But I am telling you right now that I will be bringing sparklers and a tiny Catherine wheel and there will also be mulled wine, okay?’
Zach’s looking at me intently.
‘What?’
‘Nothing,’ he smiles to himself.
‘You definitely have to tell me now,’ I press.
He takes a sip from his can. ‘It’s just that bonfire night is in November,’ he says slowly.
‘Oh, well done.’ I tease. ‘Can you do all the days of the week, too?’
‘I can indeed, and I can tell the time too,’ Zach retorts, spinning over to my side of the blanket and kissing me hard. His lips are salty.
‘I must make a mental note to poke fun at you more,’ I murmur.
‘Please don’t, I’m not sure my ego can take it.’
‘But if it gets me kisses like that …’
‘That kiss had nothing to do
with your relentless teasing,’ he smiles.
‘Oh?’
‘For someone who told me I wouldn’t make it past our third date, it struck me that you’ve just casually mentioned making future plans with me.’
That did come out quite easily, didn’t it?
He turns onto his side so we’re both facing each other, propping his head up with one arm. ‘I’m just surprised to hear you talking about us making plans for later in the year, that’s all,’ he adds, watching me nervously. ‘It makes me happy.’
I absent-mindedly bite a nail. ‘I guess I do have previous when it comes to my aversion to forward planning.’
‘Just a bit,’ he smiles. ‘And I would never want to push you.’
‘A few months ago I thought having stuff planned out was boring at best and risky at worst. When Mum died, she and Dad had just booked a holiday for the three of us. She was so excited about it … We all were. It’s one of the things that really stood out during that time, having to cancel the holiday.’ I shake my head at the memories. ‘Dad tried to sort a refund out over email but the travel company called up when he was out one morning so I picked up. The travel operative kept saying they needed a death certificate as proof before they could issue a refund and I remember just crying down the line. Like, certificate did not seem like the right word to use …’
Zach grabs my hand in sympathy and I take a deep breath.
‘I think that’s why I’m more of a spur of the moment type of person. And then you see all these couples who have dates for stuff in the future. Like, we’ll get engaged on our two-year anniversary and we’ll be married the year after that. All that sort of stuff, you know? It always just seemed so … predictable.’
I look over at Zach. He’s watching, listening.
‘But with you I’m starting to think that it would be nice to have some things to look forward to. I’m really happy to be here with you, Zach.’
A huge smile has lit up his face in the moonlight.
‘What?’ I grin.
‘That may be the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me,’ he smiles.
I laugh. ‘It’s probably the most romantic thing I’ve said to anyone.’
‘I think the moon is smiling at us,’ Zach says, and I stare out at it for a while, making out eyes and a lopsided grin.