“Truth is, I don’t know if I really want to find out.”
Seconds later, as he ventured towards the stairwell, he embraced the high tension.
Only uncharted destiny lay ahead.
***
It was eighteen minutes past midnight.
Earlier, she couldn’t believe her luck while watching Vitali as he’d departed, no doubt for an illicit liaison with the woman that he’d been secretly courting for the past month or so. The woman’s presence in his life had become her saving grace, and it caused him to spend less time trying to woo her.
With anticipation, she’d waited at the window with the curtain pinched back in her badly trembling hand. When the limo’s tail light’s had disappeared altogether, she’d released a pent-up breath before sending up a thankful prayer.
Still, though, she’d lingered in her room a bit longer.
Too afraid to approach the dangerous lion that lay in wake…
Now, here, she was, she breathed heavily and treaded barefoot along the hallway, venturing towards more uncharted waters. With all hope, she wouldn’t suffer a sad, pitiful drowning.
The long black silk robe swept across her feet as she stopped just short of the landing. Quickly, she passed a surreptitious glance around and relaxed upon finding only dark dead quiet.
Initially, upon moving in, she’d argued against having guards posted inside of the house. Though, Vitali hadn’t been happy about the idea, he’d agreed to her demands. But, seeing as Braden was here, she was surprised that Vitali wasn’t working to protect her so-called virtue.
Not that she had to worry about Braden any longer, she mulled with dismay.
His newfound hatred was palpable, and she felt it to her very core.
What did she expect though?
She was sleeping with the enemy.
Not, literally, but figuratively.
And of all people, with his father...
There was no coming back from that.
With haste, she tore down the stairs.
By the time, she reached the sixth level, she was breathless.
Again, there was a nervous quiver in her stomach.
Her eyes twitched around.
On this level, only a dim light glowed overhead.
A profound secrecy masked the place, for some reason or another.
Or was it the calamity inside that caused her to believe it?
The bedroom door fell in plain sight.
She felt light-headed.
Perhaps, she staggered the rest of the way.
Once facing the door, she was weakened beyond redemption.
Blinking back the tears fast, she raised a hand to knock and then stopped short of the door. “I have to do this,” she whispered, shutting her eyes in agony, and her hand trembled midair. Then, she faced the white panel door again. “For everyone’s sakes.”
For a second longer, hesitating, she inhaled a fast breath.
Finally, she knocked.
The door opened with a soft click.
From this vantage point, he was nowhere in sight, and only a muted darkness beckoned her forward. With a shaky hand, she pushed the cracked door open a bit more, and then stepped inside the bedroom. The door closed behind her softly. Even as she moved further into the room, he offered her nothing.
Her body tensed up.
Was it too late to run?
But, since when did running away accomplish anything?
The problem almost always remained.
No, it was best to confront it.
She squared her shoulders.
Right here and right now.
She passed a nervous glance around the room.
A delicate darkness bathed the quarters.
There was some visibility in the room.
Like hers, the room was richly adorned.
But, whereas hers was feminine, this one was masculine.
The curtains were drawn back fully and granted view of the south end of the glorious estate. No doubt, the lushness of the manicured lawns and other garden additives were a breathtaking sight on the cold December night.
But, she was hardly concerned with the scenery, though.
Dumbstruck, she watched the man waiting across the room.
Staring out, keeping his back to her, he didn’t acknowledge her presence.
They both allowed the uncomfortable silence.
Helplessly, her tortured gaze slid over him.
He was sexier than ever, she breathed out.
His body was straight, rigid, and tight.
But, like hers, it was charged with an unrelenting tension.
In every lined muscle, it was evidenced.
From the waist up, he was bared.
The jagged scars lining his back seemed more defined, and his muscles ripped with vigor. His hips were lean and sculpted in the white sleep trousers. Same as her, he was barefoot, and his usually coiffed hair was unkempt from unrest.
She started when he turned.
Across the space, their tortured gazes locked.
A violent storm stirred in their midst.
One of longing and denial…
Her eyes dropped to his hand.
In it, he held a letter.
Her tearful gaze clashed with his.
Then, his eyes dropped as he began reading.
Dear Braden,
As I sit down to write this, I’m struggling to find the right words. Usually, they come to me easily when I’m voicing my opinion. But, when it comes to expressing my feelings, it’s difficult for me. For one reason or another, I’m feeling actively brave tonight, though, and I want to be completely open and honest with you.
A wild raging storm brought us together on a fateful night.
This thing between is as volatile and passionate as that very tempest.
You are my enigma.
An intricate mystery that fascinates me beyond any reasoning…
When it comes to you, I’m wildly impulsive and reckless.
I fear that very much.
It only means that I can’t win against this.
Us….
After those words, he fell silent.
A profound quiet gripped the room.
She inhaled instinctively when it was intruded upon.
“To think that after all this time, I’ve been carrying this letter around as if it meant something,” he murmured with an unsettling calmness, and his handsome features were fraught with both hurt and pain. While his hands had been steady before, they weren’t now and trembled uncontrollably. “Do you know how many damn times I’ve read this thing and fell for every fucking line in it?” Then, watching her coldly, he crumpled the letter in his hand and hurled it to the floor. The balled up paper rested near his bare feet, and sight of it lying there lanced her soul. “Reading them now, I know that they’re nothing but empty lies.”
She flinched at his words.
Sniffling, she blinked at her hot tears.
“No, damsel, don’t even play that card. Save the tears,” he replied bitterly, taking in her teary expression. “Don’t stand there and pretend to give a damn about me. I know better than that now.”
Her voice trembled. “B-Braden---”
“Start talking,” he quipped tightly, treading away from the window. When he was almost upon her, he stalled, leaving a few paces between them. So many fraught emotions danced along the planes of his features. “Right now.”
“I---I don’t know what you want me to say---”
“Why don’t we start with the truth!” he demanded forcefully. “That will be one helluva start.”
She blinked fast again. “You’re angry---”
“Angry? That’s not even the beginning of it!” Chest heaving, he watched her closely, and a heightening tension arrested his handsome features. “Why Bella? Why not just be honest in the beginning? Can you at least answer that?”
“I’m sorry---”
“You’re sorry?” he cut her off again and studi
ed her with resentment. “Is that the best that you can do?”
“If you’d just let me explain---”
“How did you do it?” Both anger and pain played on his countenance. “How could you look me square in the face and then lie to me time and time again?”
“Despite what you might think…” The clogged tears in her throat hurt. “I didn’t set out to hurt you---”
“Applause…applause…the lady does have a conscience after all.” Again, sullenness tinged his deep tone. “But, I’m sure that you won’t lose any sleep over it.”
“No, you’re wrong. I’ve been sick about this, and I didn’t know what words to use or how to say it. Timing just played a role in what happened between us.” Her tone carried a desperate twinge. “Carlo and I---we were on a break. We hadn’t seen each other for months.”
“That supposed to make things better? The situation is the same---you are in a relationship with him.” His open bitterness rose to the forefront. “Tell me, Bella. What was I---a poor boy’s substitution until you got the real thing back? Did you take notes and compare who was the best?”
“Don’t you dare accuse me of that.” She inhaled a sharp breath. “I know that you’re mad and everything, but you have no right to make such an ugly accusation.” As she looked at him, the world was swathed in a teary haze. “I made a mistake, ok. Does that make me a bad person?”
“Mistakes are mainly unintentional.” Still, his hard expression was unyielding. “But, you deliberately misled me, and I want to know why.”
She held his stare.
What truths could she give beside those in her heart?
The other secrets were loaded with explosive danger, and it’d cause nothing short of terror and peril for the both of them.
“You know what? This conversation is leading to nowhere. I don’t have to explain my actions. My life, how I live and whom I live it with is my business.” She hastily brushed the tear from her cheek. Still, her voice wobbled from the emotional strain. In any given moment, without warning, she could potentially fall apart. “And no one’s but my own----”
“How do you expect me to react in this situation? For goodness sakes, woman, you’re sleeping with Vitali! In case you didn’t know it, the bastard happens to be my father.” As amazement claimed his handsome features, he backed away from her as if in disgust. “Before crawling into my bed, didn’t you think that was important for me to know?”
“Is that was this is about---you being jealous? Or rather is it about you hating me? Again, I’m not proud of my actions.” Hurt, chest heaving, she surged forward and drew closer to him. Then, she could do nothing more but lash out at him. “But, you can’t deal with me anymore, can you? In your head, the only thing you can do is keep tally of the number of times I’ve bedded the both of you, right?”
“Seeing as you’re the one fucking us both,” he said coldly, keeping his stare riveted on her strained features. “I suppose that you’d have that number.”
Gasping painfully, she looked at him shocked. “How dare you.”
“All of this is your doing, Bella. So, don’t you dare try and play the victim. You will not pin this on me,” he razed with anger, and then pointed in her direction. “You are the one that’s been lying. Not me.” His laugh was mocking and humorless. “I’m a damn fool. And to think how I dismissed Cassius’s warnings about you---he was straight all along, wasn’t he?”
“No, he wasn’t, and he’s still wrong. I know that he’s conjured this wild and crazy conspiracy theory about me working with Vitali. But, it’s not true,” she pleaded helplessly, reaching out to touch him, but then dropped her hands. “I would never do anything to purposefully hurt you. You have to believe that.”
“Truth is, I don’t believe one word coming out of your mouth.” Despite his cold look, though, his vulnerability lingered. Then, he aimed the self-disgust at himself. “How could I have been so careless and stupid to believe you?”
“Everything that happened between us was by chance---it was completely innocent and unplanned,” she whispered, distraught, and gestured wildly with her hands. To her chagrin, big tears pooled in her eyes and showed even more evidence of her discord. “How could I make a storm of all things and then become stranded on the roadway---”
“If it’s all part of a perfectly ordered plan, it’s quite easy. You were there at the club with me. Somehow, you figured out when I was leaving, and then presto, you’re sitting roadside with a flat tire on my private property. How convenient for you.” Staring back at her, he drove the point home. “You know what? You’re good, I’ll give you that. First, you make sure to ‘entertain’ me at the club. The clincher was your wicked lap dance, and it had the exact effect that you wanted. It literally drove me to high levels of insanity.” His eyes glittered in the darkness like stones. “Tell me---seducing me---was that your little hook?”
“The way you’re spinning it, I guess it is,” she whispered pained, and her watery gaze stayed cemented to his. The guilt compounded her. That had been the plan. Yet, she’d been snared in her own trap. “I’m sorry. Things shouldn’t have happened the way that they did.”
“Am I supposed to find solace with those words?”
“I know that you find this difficult to believe. But, I was hardly in control of the path that was set that night. Like you, I was totally oblivious to the fact that we’d meet. The dancer that was supposed to perform for you got sick; so, I was tapped to stand in for her,” she said in all honesty. “My only instructions were to show up, dance, and then leave. I had no idea that it’d be you.”
“I was putty in your hands, wasn’t I---an easy mark? I was worse than a wet-nosed kid getting his first lay. That’s how badly I wanted you.” His gaze hardened. “Killing me softly with seduction came all too easily----”
“Stop it,” she breathed quickly, no longer wanting to hear the accusation. Hearing him mouth her treachery out loud and witness his disdain outright was too distressing. “Why not end the superlative speech and say what you really want about me?’
“Ah, the switch and bait, right? Turn and place the blame on the unwitting victim. Guess what? I see right through you.” His laugh was short. “Know what I’m noticing? Not once have you denied my accusations. Why is that?”
“There’s no point in me denying anything.” She tilted her chin stubbornly. “It’s clear that you’ve already made your mind up.”
“You know what, Bella?” Looking puzzled, he scratched a finger along his stubble. “Conjuring storms and flood disasters are surely out of your element. Without a doubt, you don’t possess heavenly or godly powers. But, you are a master at spinning the truth to fit your agenda.” He paused for a scant second. “The signs were always there. From the very beginning, you were vague about your connection to Vitali.”
“Again,” she said stiffly. “It was my personal business.”
“And now,” he muttered softly, edging closer to her, so close that they both sensed their explosive heat. Too, like hers, his breaths had quickened, showing that he was equally unnerved by their closeness. “I’m making it my business.” His eyes roamed over her face. “So, I’m asking you again. Why did you play me?”
“I didn’t play you---”
“Am I asking the impossible of you?” He cursed low under his breath, and his warmed alcohol-laden breath met her face. As if hypnotized, his eyes dropped to her mouth. “Are you even capable of speaking the truth past your sweet sinful lips?”
“You can talk to me or say what you want,” she cautioned in a shaky voice. “But, you absolutely will not talk down to me or treat me like I’m some scarlet woman.”
“And she plays the victim card, yet again.” Shaking his head, he gave a cold laugh. “One thing’s becoming clear; we’re getting close to nowhere. It’s obvious you’re incapable of honesty.”
His words punched her in the gut.
He was right.
They were twisted in a convoluted mess of lies.
If only for a brief moment…
“I don’t know how more honest I can be about things. You were there, Braden---you know how things transpired between us.” Surprisingly, her voice was somewhat steady while her insides were in complete turmoil. Helplessly drawn, her eyes met his chest, and suddenly, she had to fight against the impulse to touch him. Her gaze flicked upward for her sanity. “On a dark stormy night, we met by chance---”
“And like a dashing gallant hero, I rode in to save the day.” His gray eyes darkened with a renewed energy. But, what tinged them, anger, need, or lust? The very answer was a mystery. “Only problem with that is that you really didn’t need saving. As they say, the joke was on me.”
“You are not a joke to me. The entire time that we were together on those mountains, name one instance where I treated you as such,” she demanded passionately, and her eyes searched his face. “Everything between us happened by chance.” To her dismay, she felt the threat of tears again. “I swear to you that I’m not working for or with Vitali. Please believe me.”
“Why should I?” Against his will, he reached out and traced a slow path along the edge of her face. Though, he tried to hide it, the hurt played on his own. “What reasons have you given for me to trust you?”
Staring up at him, she faltered.
Wasn’t she, too, tired of the pretense?
For a tiny second, couldn’t everything be about them? In the next breath, reality would break them apart. So, didn’t she have the right to be selfish?
“You’re just going to have to.” She swallowed hard, and with reluctance, she pushed his hand from her face. Then, she turned her back to him and tried to muster courage. “And you’re right, you deserve answers.”
“Finally, you admit that I have some stake in this.”
“We both do, and because of my actions, we’re paying the awful price. I will say my truth once. This will be the only time that I say it. After that, never ask it of me again.” As she stared across the room, she took in a shallow breath. Even though, he stood behind her and didn’t touch her, she could still feel him. All of her suppressed emotions rushed to the forefront. Hadn’t she been closing herself off from them for too long? Finally, she whispered the soft teary confession. “I wanted you.”
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