Yet, wasn’t that the argument all along?
Despite everything, they couldn’t be stopped.
Somewhere in the distance, coherency struggled for a position.
As usual, it mimicked a rational call.
Caving in would destroy them both.
While so, her needy body still trembled.
Dear sweetness, was their any respite from this danger?
Her desperation peaked.
“Please,” she whispered.
His voice was rough with heady desire. “Please what?”
“Please stop,” she begged softly, pinning her bottom lip with her teeth, and immediately, his eyes were drawn upward. Again, their mutual hunger was in danger of spiraling out of control. “Being together again wouldn’t be right.”
“When it comes to you, I don’t worry about the rights.” His gaze turned more magnetically intense. “We want each other, and that’s all that matters.”
“No.” Tensing, she pulled free before turning her back on him. With badly shaking hands, she belted the robe. Then, taking in an unsteady breath, she turned and faced him again. “We are not going to do this. Why can’t you understand that it’s wrong for us---”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong, Bella---you being in the same house with Vitali. The bastard is hardly deserving of anything, let alone you.” Straightening slowly, he came to his feet and watched her. Once more, a high tension smothered his face, and anger lapped his tone. “Damn it, you have to realize the kind of monster he is. Believe me---I’ve tasted his fist enough times to know. As for the fatherly angle, we can skip that shit, too. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe the man a damn thing.”
“Carlo is your father---”
“No, he’s not. In a million lifetimes, he never will be!” he growled with fierce denial, and a wide range of emotions played on his face. Agitated, releasing a frustrated breath, he made a step backwards. “Want to hear the stellar reasons why? Wait for them. But, I’m warning you now, you might not like the sound of them.”
She couldn’t dispel her sympathy.
His pain was evident.
Comforting him was all she wanted.
She reached out to him. “Braden---”
Stiffening, he interrupted her quick.
“A real father doesn’t take rope, bind his son, and then leave him hog-tied in a dark basement. For 7 long days, I just lied there in my own filth. I was hungry, sick, and scared. I mean, he wasn’t totally cruel---he at least tossed scraps in a time or two. Like a fuckin’ hound, I’d crawl on my knees and eat them from the floor.” He paused for a painful second. “But, while I was trapped, the worst thing was my mental state. In the very darkness, insanity found me and stared me straight in the face. I was left with little choice but to buckle under its pressure. Back then, I swear that I lost a small part of me. I never found it again.” At her shocked look, his jaw tightened. “Eventually, he showed up and freed me---guess that means that he’s not all the way bad, right?”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Is that enough lingo to stimulate your visual conscience?” he probed quietly, watching her closely. “You want more?”
“From the sounds of things, it was horrible,” she whispered, and her eyes swelled with fresh tears. “Again, I’m sorry.”
“Your condolences might be of value if his brand of love hadn’t been exacted on me time and time again. His prized whipping tool was an extension cord; it’d strip the hide off of me quick. Whenever he felt I stepped out of line or looked at him the wrong way, he literally beat the shit out of me. Sometimes, in the dark, I swear I can still smell the stench of my own piss.”
Growing rigid, he took in her tearful expression but continued.
“Want to know why my backside looks freakish? That night, he was pissed off because I stopped him from caving my mother’s stomach in.” His tortured gaze took on a faraway look. “He was kicking her so damned hard that she collapsed. I can remember hating him.” A pregnant paused ensued. “I said it out loud, straight to his ugly face---I hate you. So, he punished me severely. Held me down, took out his pocket knife, and then carved hideous designs into my skin.” He gave a humorless laugh. “I used to call them Vitali’s marks. Imagine that---me actually naming his lingering signs of abusiveness.” As the naked pain seized his visage, he stared past her, obviously shamed by the distant and troubling memories. “Sounds pretty fucked up, doesn’t it?”
Horrified, she stayed mute and listened.
“Know what his worst crimes are, though? As fucked up as it was with him hurting me, his son, hurting my mother was even worse. The son-of-a-bitch claimed to love her. But, he doesn’t even know the meaning of it! How could you love someone and beat and assault them senseless. That’s what he did to her---over and over.”
“Did she seek help?” she asked the difficult question out loud.
“Help?” he laughed humorlessly again. “You can’t get help when you’re dealing with someone of Vitali’s stature.” His dark mood worsened. “But, she tried a few times, and he’d always find us. Everything became a game to him. Hurting her was what he lived for. When she was bloodied and too weakened to move, he was finally satisfied. Her weakness was his sole empowerment.” His eyes took on a dazed look. “He forced me to watch his brutal acts against her, and he knew that I was too helpless to stop it. His greatest pleasure came from witnessing my pitiful and weak weeping. Sissy-boy---that’s what he’d call me,” he said in a wooden tone and struggled against the painful memories. “Then, he’d say, ‘dry your fucking face and at least pretend that you’re a man’.” Finally, his tormented gaze met hers again, and she wanted to weep. “He’s a murderer in more forms than one. On the inside and out, he’s killed me in ways that no one else could even begin to understand. No one deserves that brand of fatherly love.”
“Oh, Braden,” she murmured gently, reaching out to him again, and then dropped her hand. Right now, it was plain that her comfort wasn’t wanted. Naturally, his reaction was a protective barrier. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want or need anyone’s pity.” His jaw bone was taut. “I survived it.” Sighing hard, he switched the focus back on her. “Bella, you’re headstrong and a very intelligent woman. But, for once, damsel, I need you to listen. If there’s anyone that understands how Vitali operates, it’s me. I know what he does to women that he proposes to care about. If he hasn’t hurt you yet, he will. He’s biding his time---waiting for you to make the wrong move and defy him. Everything’s nothing but a sick and twisted game for him.”
She shook her head wildly. “It’s not like that---”
“What does he have on you, Bella? What is he threatening you with?” he demanded roughly, peering across the way at her. Then, softening his tone, he approached her again and stopped short. “I know that you’re not here because you want to be.” His eyes turned pleading. “Baby, please talk to me.”
She stared back at him misty-eyed.
Could he save her from the mess that’d been created?
If she revealed the full truth about herself and being an agent, would he stay right here in her arms? But, wouldn’t that just be another betrayal against him?
“In the letter, you mentioned that there were circumstances, those that would worsen our situation.” His gray orbs roamed over her face, and became filled with burgeoning hope. “It makes sense that you’re indebted to Vitali for something. You can trust me with your secrets. What is that son-of-a-bitch blackmailing you with?”
“Is it possible that you’re trying to project your own misgivings to my situation?” she probed and cringed inwardly at taking such a personal approach. “It’s apparent that you’ve gone through an ordeal during your childhood---”
“Ordeal?” he repeated with utter disbelief. “It’s more than that, and you know it. Considering what I’ve just told you about him, your first instinct should be to run.”
Her eyelashes flitted fast. “So,
he’s not perfect---”
“Damn it, Bella! See the truth that’s in front of you.” Stunned, he stared back at her as if she’d slapped him. “That man is a monster!”
“T---things are complicated between Carlo and me right now. But, every relationship has problems,” she explained in a controlled tone and fisted both hands along her sides. Still, the action didn’t lessen her tension. “Besides that, it’s not your place to become involved in my personal drama.”
“It’s too late to ward me off.” As he moved closer again, her breath hitched. Then, reaching out, he grasped her face between his hands and openly defied her need to look away. “The minute you walked into my life, I became involved. And if you think that I’m going to stand here and let you make the biggest mistake of your life, you’re wrong.” Gently, he caressed her left cheek with a thumb. “I’ll be damned before I allow him to hurt someone else that I care about.”
Gulping hard, she dropped her eyes again.
Oh sweet goodness, she couldn’t even look at him.
In his eyes, there was nothing but sweet tenderness, and the very sight of it was hurling her into further despair. Yet, if she was honest about everything was it possible that he could help---
No!
What was the rationalization for such a crazy thought? How could she contemplate involving him, even if it were only for a brief second? Getting him involved would only place him in a considerable amount of danger and complicate the harrowing situation further. Certainly, Rowell and the feds wouldn’t go for such a thing either, especially since they considered him to be on the same plateau as his father. Before sundown, they’d probably have him locked in chains and thrown into the nearest cellar. Without any evidence to support her claims of his innocence, she’d literally be throwing him to the wolves. Even worse, if Vitali discovered that they’d been lovers, he’d kill him dead. Hearing and learning about their violent past only solidified that notion. Without a further thought, he’d murder his own son, and the killing punishment would be past gruesome.
But, she wouldn’t lose him, she mulled, growing frantic.
She wouldn’t allow him to suffer!
Not when she could control the situation.
At this point, protecting him was all that mattered.
Regardless of the cost!
“I really do appreciate your concern.” Slowly, with reluctance, she plied his hands from her face and took a careful step backwards. “But, if you care about me like you say you do, then you’ll do the right thing and let me go.”
“If it were another man and if I felt that it was someone that you wanted to be with and cared about, I would walk away and never look back. Because in the end, your happiness is what matters most to me.” He stared at her intensely. “But, Vitali?” Frowning hard, thinning his lips, he shook his head in staunch disapproval. “No, not in this lifetime or any other one. There’s no way in hell---”
“Well, unfortunately, the choice isn’t yours, but mine. I know that you find this hard to believe,” she stated firmly, choosing her words with great care. “But, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”
“You’re a badass, I get that and I know it,” he acknowledged readily. “But, you can’t win against Vitali alone.”
“Don’t you get it? I don’t want to win against him.” She pursed her lips. “Despite what you think and believe, I want to be here. I want to be a part of his life. Carlo and I have both made our share of mistakes in this relationship. But, we’re trying to make things work.”
“What’s wrong with you?” The disbelief crossed his face. “What do I have to say to get through to you? Tell me the words that you need to hear.”
“Hearing the truth is always difficult, but I feel that I need to voice it. Granted, Carlo has made a tremendous amount of mistakes in the past, but he’s a changed man. He’s not that man anymore.”
“So, the bastard deserves a golden halo, now? Is that what you’re saying?” His quick laugh was devoid of humor. “Hate to break it to you, but the guy’s no saint.”
“True, Carlo does things that may be slightly questionable. With the feds and cops breathing down his neck 24/7, I can’t say that I blame him. He has to find measures to protect himself and his empire.” As she continued spitting out the lies, she nearly choked on them. “But, he’s not the crazy monster that everyone makes him out to be. In so many ways, he’s shown me that.”
“Contemplating that idea for even a second makes you fool.”
“Maybe,” she said quietly, steeling herself, and turned the tables at once. Sadly, wasn’t she a master at twisting and spinning truth and lies? “But, I won’t be your fool.”
Tensing, he eyed her closely. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I can see right through you, Braden. You want to use me as leverage against your father. Don’t deny it---I know what you’re after. To think that you’re standing here, judging me, and talking about agendas. Well, yours is a pretty big one, not to mention shameful.” She forced herself to laugh, and then nearly cowered at the haunted look on his face. “You want revenge against Carlo. And what greater revenge is there than seducing his lover right dead in his face?”
“What? Now, you’re talking straight crazy---”
“Am I?” She raised a perfectly trimmed brow and mustered a tight smile. With every passing second, her soul died at her vengeful words. “It’s obvious that you hold a vendetta against your father, and you’re itching for some type of payback. Well, I won’t be it.”
“I’m trying to help you---”
“No! You’re trying to help yourself. Your angle is to use me and nothing more. I won’t stand for it. I will not be a weapon for you to use against your father.” With shaky hands, she tugged on the robe’s sash again. Silently, she prayed for redemption. Would heaven hear or forgive this horrible transgression against Braden? With a dying heart, she wished so. “I think that it’s best that we just end our conversation here and vow to never have one of this nature again. Like it or not, I’m with Carlo, and I do care for him deeply.” Though, cringing at the huge lie, she stared at him hard, only in an effort to drive the point home. Then, waving a dismissive hand in the air, she ignored her breaking heart and the stunned look on his face. “Don’t you think that you’re being petty about all of this, anyway? The past happened, and it can’t be changed. It’s time to move on. So, stop being a selfish and vindictive son-of-a-bitch. Be happy for your father and me.” As she said the cold and cruel words, she was totally sickened. “You can at least do that for him. Show your father some gratitude for once.”
An awful silence hummed.
If he weren’t disgusted with her before, he was now.
His stricken features told as much.
“Get the fuck out.” Now, his face was frozen like pure stone. Though he stood still and straight, his stiffened body seemed in danger of cracking. If she dared to voice another unfeeling word, surely, he’d bow from the pressure. “It’s best that you leave before things are said that we’ll both regret later.”
“Fine, I will.” She raised her chin haughtily. “Just so we understand each other.”
“We do,” he said with finality, turning his back to her. “Now, get out.”
Shaking, heart shattering, she waited for a millisecond.
Then, pivoting on her heel, she fled.
A heartbeat later, safe inside her room, she was still reeling.
Sobbing quietly, she stood with her back against the door. “Dear God, please forgive me. What have I done?” She pressed her shaky fingers against her mouth. “Oh, Braden, I’m so sorry.”
She closed her eyes tight.
But, still, there was no hiding from her actions.
They’d been past cruel.
Yet, what other choice did she have though?
She had to protect him!
But, the hurt on his face, she mulled, shaking all over.
It was too much to bear.
&nb
sp; Suddenly, the vomit rose in her throat.
Bolting from the door, she raced towards the bathroom.
Crying freely and loudly, she dropped to the floor beside the open commode. As she leaned over it, she retched violently, spilling the vicious ugliness from her bile.
A long moment later, tired and spent, she crawled onto the bed.
With red swollen eyes, she stared blankly at the ceiling.
There was only one truth.
The light would never shine upon them.
***
The Italian opera blared in the living area.
He winced against the deafening sound.
It played way louder than it had earlier…Seeing as he was the one responsible for the sound experience, he couldn’t complain. Somewhat drunken, he staggered unevenly towards the large window. Clutching the liquor bottle in a weakened hand, he peered out.
The hour was late.
Probably 2:12 am or so…
A full cold moon shone in the distant heavens. Against the blackened skies, it added a simple finesse. Along with the security lights, the moonshine illuminated the estate and showcased its incredible grandeur beauty. But, wasn’t there something exceedingly wrong about the outwardly peace, especially when the inside world was plagued with such turmoil and unrest.
As he continued staring out, his long-standing animosity climbed to a blinding height within him. All the suppressed feelings that he’d been holding in for months finally demanded freedom.
“Damn you, Vitali.” Now, as he stared out, he only saw pure red, and his anger only mounted with each passing second. “How do you always manage to destroy good things? You’ve taken away everything that’s ever meant anything to me.” The bitter tears glistened in his bloodshot eyes. “But, why her? She’s all that I’ve ever wanted.” His chest heaved with fresh pain and hostility. Hostility for the man that beaten him down since birth and onward…He couldn’t see or feel past that haze, he realized, and his features crippled with emotions. “You fucking bastard, you took her away.”
But, had she ever really been his?
Rise of the Titan Page 38