“You are the smartest motherfucker alive, you know that?” Grinning widely, he clapped his shoulder before turning away again. “Why haven’t I told you that before?”
Cassius made a fast snort. “Maybe because you never really listen to me?”
“Sound advice like this proves that I should.”
“You really do have feelings for her, don’t you?”
“She scares the hell out me. Truth is, I opened myself to her in ways that I’ve never done before. And when I was with her,” he murmured deep in thought. “…nothing seemed impossible, and like a fool, I believed that everything was possible. All this time---being without her---it just doesn’t feel right. Something’s missing in me. And I told her things, man.” Suddenly pained, he stared blindly at the heavily laden shelves of liquor. “…things that I’ve never told anyone else, not even you or Mama. Again, it’s scary how much I trust that woman.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Let’s just say that her reaction to my truths weren’t what I expected. She still walked away from me.” Sighing with a frustrated breath again, he shook his head. “Enough about Bella for now---talking about her isn’t going to change the fact that she’s almost practically my stepmother. That fact alone should send me running for the hills. Anyway, I’m fucking done, no matter how you splice it or dice it. If she wants to waste her life like that, there’s nothing that I can do about it.”
“Ouch. Even after all these shots, you’re still mad as hell about it. Guess the booze has its work cut out for itself, tonight. Drink up, son, and drown your sorrows,” Cassius said sympathetically and motioned for the bartender again. “Guess it’s up to me to stay sober enough to get us both home.”
Staying silent, he watched as the alcohol met the glass, and again, the anger fired through him at rapid speed. “Know what pisses me off the most?” Snatching the glass up, he downed the liquor and found satisfaction at its burning sting. “The lying and deception. If she’d just been honest with me from the beginning---”
“Thought you were done talking about her?”
“That’s the fucking problem, man,” he hissed, staring into the empty glass. And didn’t he feel empty without her? “I can’t stop thinking about her. Day and night, she’s all I think about. I can’t eat, sleep, think, or shit without her being on my mind.”
“Damn man, you can’t even focus and shit right?” Cassius laughed outright. “Whoa, she really has you sucked in. All I can say is that if you feel that way, or care that much about her, do something.”
“Like what? It’s not like I can kidnap her and hide her away somewhere. Considering who she’s with that may not be such a bad idea, though.” He released another frustrated breath. “Besides that, Bella has made her point perfectly clear. She wants nothing to do with me. As much as that stings, I have to accept it.”
“But, you said yourself that she was giving you mixed signals.”
“That night we talked, it’s like I was facing two people. At some points, it seemed that a part of her wanted me. Other times, she pushed me away as far as she could. I could feel the invisible walls coming up. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t give up so easily,” Cassius suggested point blank and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, hell, she’s not totally closed off to you. Find a small opening and go through it.” His brows pierced in confusion. “Didn’t you say that she was working with you?”
“Guess you could kind of say that she is.” His face flushed with guilt. “She’s working in the mailroom.”
“The mailroom? But, isn’t she supposed to be going through some grooming process or something? At least wasn’t that what Vitali wanted?” Cassius’s brows pierced in confusion and then relaxed. “Oh, I see what you’re doing. This is some sort of payback against the both of them, especially her.”
“I’m not trying to punish her, alright?”
“You sure about that?”
“Maybe I am punishing her,” he sighed, finally acquiescing. “After talking to her that night, I was pissed off as hell. The hurt was all I could see, and I wanted her to hurt, too. Going against what she wanted was my way of doing it.” He gave a thoughtful pause. “Admittedly, before she came, I never ventured to the mail area. But, now, like some obsessive freak, I go down there every friggin’ day. I just stand off in the distance and watch her. I’m freaking Wyatt and the other workers out being there---myself as well.” A desperate need surge through him. “What the fuck’s wrong with me?”
“This is worse than I thought. Damn, boy,” Cassius cursed and stared at him in pure amazement. “I knew that you were gone, but I didn’t know how far gone until this very moment.” He assessed him with another long speculative look. “Have you really taken into account just how much you care about her?”
The tiny fear leapt inside his chest for a second.
Surely, it wasn’t the thing that started with the letter, L…
You know---the word that rhymed with ‘dove’?
Quickly, he pushed the troubling thought away.
“My having some feelings---it’s not like it’s a secret or anything,” A hint of desperation played in his voice. “I’ve so much admitted to having them, even though, those very feelings are past history.”
“No, I’m not so sure about. Listen, player to player, I appreciate this hard-ass bro stance you’re presenting. I mean, it’s cool as all fuck because that’s who we are. Neither of us falls into the careless or weakened wimp stage. But, I’m telling you this, you’re longggg gone, son.” Cassius shook his head in pity. “She’s got you. You’re snagged, hooked, and whipped---stuck in a place where the greatest of mighty men have fallen prey to a woman. This is quite a predicament. After some deep soul-searching, you’ll find the truth.” He gave a low whistle. “Seeing you weakened to such a pathetic state is hard to witness.” Sighing, he clapped his shoulder. “Feel for you, man.”
“Don’t go off on some crazy bunny trail and just start making things up, alright?”
“Dead in the center--bull’s-eye.” Cassius placed a hand before his face. “The fact is right there. See it, brother.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked with a wild look, and knocked his hand away. All the while, the sympathetic looks never stopped coming from Cassius’s end. “There’s nothing for me to face, and why do I need your so-called pity?”
“Between the two of us, you’ve always have been the biggest knucklehead.” Scowling, Cassius rapped a fist against his head, and then dropped it. “You fight against the fact when it’s right there before you. But, this situation with Bella, it’s going to make you run for the hills. Don’t blame you one bit for being scared out of your wits. I’ll pray for you, though.” He patted his back. “R.I.P, dawg.”
“R.I.P.?” he questioned real fast, even more desperately this time. “What does that even mean, Cass?”
“Didn’t want to have to do this. But, considering things, it’s probably time for an intervention of sort. Hopefully, it’ll spur you into some kind of positive action. What you’re doing now ain’t working. You know what? I ought to slap the shit out of you just for the principle of things.” Cassius’s scowl deepened. “Peeking and hiding behind cabinets and shit at work…man that’s stupid and crazy.” He snickered for some long seconds and only stopped at his glare. “This little stalkerish act you got going on has to stop. This certainly calls for another round.” Sighing, shaking his head, he then summoned the bartender. After the glasses were refilled, he grabbed one. At his hesitation, he passed his own glare. “Pick it up, man, and drink.”
Frowning, he snatched the glass from the counter. “Has anyone told you that you’re an overbearing son-of-a-bitch? If not, let me be the first one to do so.”
“Everyday and it doesn’t hurt me when someone does. Right now, though, you’re reducing me to your level, and it’s a position that I don’t appreciate at the moment. Especially with all these fine ass honeys sitting up in here.” His dark glance s
kittered to the single women crowding the far end of the bar, and one of them was openly checking him out. Taking a moment, he gave the woman a fast wink and sent her into a fit of giggles. Then, frowning hard, he turned his attention back to him. “While I’m sitting here psychoanalyzing your punk ass, I could be taking care of my own pleasurable business. So, I’m going to make this quick. Okay, this is not going to be easy, and I’m sorry to have to tell you this. Player to player, I have to break it to you.” Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he dropped his voice low. “Listen good here, Titan----”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why the fuck are you whispering?”
“Shut up and just listen alright?” Cassius hissed, biting back another string of foul curses. “I don’t want to say this out loud no more than you want to hear it. But, here it goes.” His usually serious expression was even that more serious. “You’re in love, man.”
His posture went rigid on the bar stool. “What did you say?”
“What?” Cassius hissed again, leaning closer in his direction. “What you want me to do, spell it out for you? Okay, let’s try it again.” Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he finally forced the words out. “You’re in love with Bella.”
The loaded words carried a brutal impact, and they slammed into him with violent force. Even hearing them voiced out loud carried a certain fear factor. In fact, it was downright terrifying.
That only made the words too real.
Spiked their credibility to new heights…
But, love?
That was impossible!
For a man like him, such a concept wasn’t feasible.
The feeling was an anomaly.
Not only did it leave one weak, it left them vulnerable to heartbreak and disappointment. Right now, whatever these feelings were that he had for her, they were throwing him for quite a loop. They’d upset his already chaotic existence more than he appreciated or liked.
Yet, was it possible?
Did his feelings for such a treacherous woman run that deep?
Was he totally, firmly, and unconditionally in love---
Standing abruptly, he instantly cut the thought off. No point in adding credence to something that was totally false! Him…in love? That was impossible! After tossing a crisp twenty dollar bill onto the counter, he met Cassius’s gaze again. “Hate to cut out on you like this. But, I just remembered there’s something that I have to take care of. Vitali’s out of town for the next few weeks, and he asked that I keep an eye on the club. Since I have this open time, I’ll do it tonight.”
“Is that so?” Cassius asked, raising a brow, and stayed on the bar stool. “Funny that you’re only remembering that now, of all times---you know, especially since we’ve had our little talk. But, it’s not my place to point out the obvious.” Sending another glance down the bar, he returned the woman’s lusty stare and grinned. Straightening his broad shoulders, frowning, he turned his attention to him. “Seeing as I’m about to strike pay dirt, don’t let me keep you.” Pushing up from the stool, turning towards him, he eyed him with concern. “You alright, man?”
“Of course, I’m alright,” he said, short. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Whoa, dude, no need to jump down my throat. I’m on your side. Believe it or not, this situation with Bella will work out in your favor some way or another. So, don’t give up hope.” Scowling, Cassius huffed hot breath into his hand, and then screwed his face. “You got a mint? Nothing will kill a hookup quicker than funky-ass breath.”
“Afraid not, so you might want to consider a fast run to the vending area. There may be some Tic-Tac, gum, or something. Still can’t believe you left the woods long enough to join civilization again. I’m proud of you for taking the initiative and asserting your manly rights again.” He leaned closer to him and whispered low. “Seeing as you’ve been on a brief hiatus these past months, it’s best that I bring you up to speed on this player thing. Piece of advice---lose the cheap pick up lines and throw a smooth flow.” He winked playfully. “Works every time.”
“You’re a cruel fucker when scared, aren’t you? But, all’s forgiven,” Cassius chuckled good-naturedly and clapped his shoulder again. “If you need someone to listen to your sob story, please don’t call me. You’ve already scarred me for life.”
“Get the hell out of here” Although he laughed, his somber mood pervaded. “I’ll catch up with you next week or something.”
Moments later, even while traveling along the interstate, his thoughts were heavy. Only one fact existed: there wasn’t any avoidance to real truths. No matter how fast you run, they always catch you.
***
“Thank goodness you were able to escape the house of horrors. Too bad it’s not a permanent hiatus,” Monique murmured from the adjoining chair, roughly around 1 am, and then applied the makeup with renewed vigor. Satisfied with her look, she dropped the applicator brush onto the table before turning sideways. “While I’m glad that you made it out of this hell hole, it seems that you traded one nightmare for another one.” She patted her knee affectionately. “Nevertheless, I’m glad that you’re here. It’s been fun hanging out with you all evening.”
“Me too---I’ve missed you,” she smiled, leaning forward, and squeezed Monique’s hand gently. The light blue shirt dress that she wore was well-fitted along her curves, and it stretched along with her movements. Her thick dark hair curled in waves and met her shoulders. A light rosy scent masked her skin while her face was bare of makeup, except for the tinge of ruby red lipstick. “With Carlo being out of town and everything, this was the best time for us to catch up.”
“Where are the bodyguards? Even though, he’s not here with you, I’m sure that he’s still working to control the situation. Bet he has his big hound dog on you round the clock, doesn’t he?”
“Fortunate for me, Akumu has traveled with him on this business trip, so I don’t have to be pestered by him. A few of the others are sporting little crushes, and shamefully, I’ve been playing that to my advantage. If give them just the tiniest bit of a smile, they’ll do anything that I want.” The guilt flushed her face. “Hate to admit that I’ve stooped that low. But, the price of freedom is worth it.”
“He’s smothering you to death, isn’t he?” Monique’s expression showed a mixture of disapproval, anger, and concern. “And before you made such a hasty decision and moved in with the creep, I wish that you’d come to me first.”
“If I’d told you, you only would have tried to stop me---”
“You’re damn right, I would have.” Monique’s features became staunched with utter disbelief. “Even now, looking at you, I can’t believe that you did it. I mean, when you first came back, you were spouting about how y’all shared a mutual understanding, and that he wasn’t all that bad. But, moving in with the guy,” she stressed, shaking her head slowly. “Forgive for saying this to you, but your actions are just reckless and plain stupid.” Her gaze flicked over her fast. “Are you alright? You look miserable as hell, and he’s the reason for it!”
True, she was miserable.
But, was her state of misery that evident!
Cohabitating with a dangerous criminal was a colossal undertaking. Yet, it was necessary since she was collecting incriminating evidence. Being in such close corners had allowed her to. On many occasions, she’d kept her nose to the ground or eavesdropped. Too, whenever Vitali ventured on one of his romantic excursions, she’d been able to snapshot documents. She’d passed that very information to Rowell and the feds. In short, they’d slowly been building a solid case against the notorious criminal.
While the sordid and twisted situation with Vitali was taxing, it wasn’t the thing that kept her awake at night. Instead, it was her selfish longing for one man---the catalyst for her ongoing discord.
Braden…
It was him that caused her to be drenched in open misery. For he was the only true thing that she wanted; yet he was the one thing that she could never have. Just how many nights had s
he cried herself to sleep or awakened from a dream? The hardest and cruelest thing was always realizing that he wasn’t there.
Or never would be…
That’s what hurt the most, she mulled, looking away from her friend, and to her horror, the hot fresh tears sprang to her eyes. But, it was a truth that she had to accept…
“In time, my relationship with Carlo will balance out,” she murmured quietly, blinking fast, and hated the continuation of the lie. That hurt, too. Couldn’t she just be real for once? “While it’s unconventional---”
“Oh my gosh, Bella.” Leaning forward in the swivel chair, Monique grasped her hand with concern. “Has that bastard put his hands on you? If he has, I swear I’ll kill---”
“Naturally, he’s been more than overbearing at points.” She wiped the stray tear from her face. Finally composed, she looked at her again. “He has no choice to be because of his lifestyle. But, he hasn’t hurt me physically.”
“But, he will. Don’t you get that? A zebra doesn’t lose its stripes, and neither does a criminally insane whacknut like Carlo Vitali. I’ve been around men like him my entire life.” A bitter look crossed Monique’s face. “His version of love means a broken jaw bone or a few knocked out teeth. That’s how he shows affection.”
“Monique, if he were hitting me, by now he’d be lying six feet under. Don’t worry about me, okay? I can take care of myself.”
“Of course, you can take care of yourself. On more than one occasion, you’ve proven that you’re a strong woman.” Monique leaned forward in the makeup chair. “But, abusive bastards like Vitali thrive on unpredictability, and they snap without any preceding warning. They know to attack when their victim is at their most vulnerable.” The tears shimmered bright in her eyes. “I’m afraid for you, Bella. Please reconsider and come stay with Beau and me.”
“I’m okay.” Forcing a smile, she leaned forward and patted her friend’s cheek. “So would you please stop worrying? I’ve got this.”
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