by Jane Anthony
“Wonderful, thank you miss ...”
“Morello. But you can call me Jillian.” I extended my hand in introduction and the man shook it gently.
“Ah, another Morello. The gentleman I met today would be your ….?”
“My brother.”
“Very nice. Rare you see a family business such as this these days.” He winked and I smiled warmly as he said good-bye. Moments like that made me realize just how important keeping this place together really was. In a sea of Jiffy Lubes and Maacos, Morello and Son’s Restoration stood alone and I was really proud of that.
AJ was still finishing up down at the shop when I was getting ready to meet Jameson that evening. I stood in front of the gaping maw of my closet in my bra and panties pondering what to wear. The old rock-n-roll tees I consistently wore hung in a neat row across the long rod inside, a rod lowered specifically for me. Almost everything I owned was a hand-me-down from my dad and totally worn to hell. Normally, I didn’t care, but tonight, I wanted to look pretty.
I pushed aside shirt after shirt and stopped when I saw the vintage MTV tee I’d gotten from the Salvation Army. Pathetic as it was, it was the nicest one I had. My mind drifted back to the lust in his eyes when he saw me in that dress at the bar, and I fished out the only skirt I owned, a pleated denim mini. I fired off a quick text to AJ to let him know I was going out and locked the door behind me.
The pipeline was close by, and I made it there in no time. As usual, Jameson was already there waiting for me. The sight of his idling car triggered a reaction within me that could only be described as sheer delight. He saw me pull in and get out of the car. “Well, if it isn’t my long-lost friend, Jameson Tate!” I joked as I jumped down from the truck.
“What can I say? I’m a busy man.” He came around the car to where I stood and grabbed me in a hug that lifted my feet off the ground.
“So what’s the plan tonight?” I asked as lowered me back onto the pavement.
He opened his passenger side door. “I dunno. Hop in. Let’s go for a drive and see where it takes us.” I slid into the bucket seat, and he closed the door. By the time he got into the driver’s seat, I was already changing the CD. “You don’t waste any time, do ya?”
“Lucky for you, I’m a girl who knows what she wants.” I curled my legs up under me and settled back into my seat. Type O Negative bawled out of the dash and filled the interior with a demonic cloud of musical prowess.
Jameson shifted the car into gear, resting his hand on my bare thigh as he drove out of the lot. “Lucky, huh?” He glanced my way for a brief second flashing me that lopsided grin that drove me nuts.
I leaned over the stick shift letting his earlobe slide between my teeth. “Yep, very lucky,” I whispered moving on to his neck. This afternoon's stubble was shaved away leaving his skin smooth against my face. I wasn't sure which look I liked better, but it didn't matter. Jameson looked good regardless.
The clean smell of his aftershave snaked its way around my body. I breathed him in and slid my hand between his thighs. “You’re making it hard to concentrate on the road, cutie.”
“Not nearly hard enough,” I said rubbing the denim-covered semi-bulge through his pants. The breath hitched in his throat. I ripped open his fly and slid my hand inside. The car swerved, and his head fell back onto the seat as I stroked his length with my fingers.
“You’re going to get us killed,” he grumbled shifting in his seat.
“Are you asking me to stop?” My hand stilled, squeezing lightly.
“No friggin’ way.” He turned the wheel and got off the main road.
Simply touching him wasn't enough to satisfy my aching need to please him. Jameson made me feel good in so many ways, and I wanted to return the favor.
I tugged his pants down just enough to expose him fully and dropped my eyes. His was the only dick I'd ever seen up close. Long, thick, and hard—it was exactly the way I’d pictured it.
A sudden bout of nervousness took hold as I wrapped my fingers around the base. Crippling self-doubt invaded my mind, but I pushed it aside, angled him up, and took him in my mouth.
“Fuck,” he groaned. The steering wheel turned right next to my head, and he reached over my back to adjust the stick shift. Every vein and ridge pulsed against my tongue. I twirled it around the tip and his hand moved from the shifter to my head.
The haunting remake of “Summer Breeze” blasted loudly through the speakers. Jameson’s ragged breath combined with Peter Steele’s broody baritone sent shockwaves of need right through my core. I plunged my head again, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could, and using my hand for the inches I couldn't.
His hand was a fist in my hair now. Another breathy groan escaped his throat and a trickle of saltiness landed on my tongue. He throbbed in my mouth. I anticipated tasting his cum, but instead, I jerked forward as the car abruptly stopped and he pushed my head away.
Confused, I sat up in my seat and wiped my swollen lips. We were back at the pipeline again. He seemed like he liked it, so why did he stop me? “Did I do it wrong?”
“No, cutie. You did it perfect. Too perfect.” He pointed his thumb toward the backseat of the car. “Get your hot ass back there. Now.”
With a salacious grin, I crawled into the backseat. He tucked himself back into his pants and opened the door, having to move the seat forward to get in back with me. “You’re insane. You know that, right?” I laughed, and he pulled me in. “You drive me crazy, Jillian. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I just can’t stop thinking about you. In my car, in my bed, in the shower, when I’m trying to fucking work. Your face is always on my mind. I just want you, all of you, all the time. Fuck AJ and his protective bullshit.” He kissed me forcefully, as if he was sealing himself to me. “I want you to belong to me, Jill. Say you’ll be mine.”
“I’m already yours, Jameson, I always have been.” I pulled him on top of me and leaned back on the seat of the car. The old leather squeaked under my weight as I shifted under him. He inched his hand up my skirt and pulled my panties down my thighs. It was awkward getting them off in the cramped backseat, but I managed to let my leg out one side. Jameson’s pants were still unbuttoned from earlier, and I used my feet to slide them down just enough.
He reached back and grabbed a condom from his pocket. Just seeing it made me grow damp. I’d dreamed about this moment, and it was finally going to happen.
The foil glinted in the light of the street lamps across the way as he ripped the package open. He rolled the condom onto his thick erection and his lips claimed mine again.
The feeling of him at my opening made my palms grow sweaty and my heart race. So much wetness pooled between my thighs it was embarrassing. I was ready, and I wanted this so badly I could taste it.
As he started to push inside me, I winced and a tight squeaky whimper released from my throat. If I thought he felt big in my mouth, he felt colossal as he tore through my center.
A deep guttural growl vibrated against my lips, and his body stilled. “Jillian?”
“Yeah?”
He pushed himself up on his hands. “Is this your first time?” He looked amazed, as if the idea that I might be a virgin never crossed his mind.
“Y-yeah,” I stammered.
He sat up on his heels, ripping himself from me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?” He eyed me warily, the panicked look in his eyes was almost painful.
I pushed myself up on the seat next to him and clamped my knees together. “You never asked.” I swallowed hard trying to ease the knot forming in my throat. “But it shouldn’t matter. I want this. I want you.”
He raked his hand through his hair hard and looked away from me. “But it does matter. What the fuck?”
Panic surged through me at the angry tone in his voice. “Jameson, please.” The sound of my own voice was pathetic.
“I can’t do this, Jill. It’s all wrong.” He started the arduous task of getting his pants back up
in the confines of the backseat. I couldn’t believe he was rejecting me again. All his sweet words and declarations fell to hell because of something as trivial as a hymen. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to vomit or punch his face in.
Shame washed over me. I pulled my legs in and blindly searched the floorboard to find my underwear. “You’re an asshole!” I spat, balling my panties up in my fist and fumbling the lever on the back of the seat to make it move forward. The faster I got out of that car and the further I got from him the better.
His long fingers wrapped around my arm as I flung the door open. “Come on, don’t go.”
I wrenched my arm from his grasp. “Don’t you touch me. Don’t you ever fucking touch me again.” I jumped out of his car and ran over to the truck. He didn’t follow me this time; he just got out of the car and watched me go.
How humiliating. I practically begged him to have sex with me and he refused. Everything he said to me was bullshit. If Jameson was playing a sick game to make me feel like shit, he’d succeeded. I felt worthless.
When I got back home, I sat in the truck in front of the shop trying to control the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. I was full on ugly crying, and I couldn’t go into the house like this. AJ would grill me about what happened, and I couldn’t face him. He warned me to stay away from Jameson. I should have listened. He was right all along, and now, I’ve ruined everything.
It was late by the time my tears dried up. I’d cried myself empty and there was nothing left but a gaping hole in my chest. I could still taste him in my mouth and feel him between my legs as I got out of the truck.
Blackness shrouded the area around the house as I slowly made my way up the walk. The lights were off inside, and I was thankful I didn’t have to deal with AJ tonight.
I crawled into my bed in the dark and waited for sleep to take me, but it never did. Instead, I tossed and turned and watched the sun come up, passing out sometime around dawn. “Jill, are you getting up? It’s almost nine,” AJ said, knocking on my doorframe.
Too ashamed to even look at him, I didn't roll over. “I’m sick. I can’t come in today.”
“What do you mean you’re sick? You were fine yesterday.”
I pulled the covers up around me tighter, regardless of the summer heat. “I said I’m sick, okay? I’m sure the shop will survive my absence for a day.”
“Whatever,” he grumbled walking away.
I stayed in bed for a while longer hoping sleep would end the nightmare I was having while awake. I couldn’t go back there and see him. After everything we’d been through, there was no turning back. I couldn’t simply be his friend anymore. I was too far gone for that. As the second round of tears sprang from my eyes, I pulled the covers over my head hoping the heavy blanket would suffocate me.
JAMESON
I was completely destroyed when I got to work that morning. The look on her face when I told her we couldn’t go through with it was etched in my memory. Her hateful words ran on a straight loop through my brain all night.
Why didn’t I run after her and explain? I was an idiot, that was why. I promised I wouldn’t hurt her, and that was exactly what I did. How could she not understand what I was trying to say?
I got to the shop after nine o’clock, and AJ was already there. I cursed myself, yet again, for being an asshole.
“You’re late,” he said as I walked in.
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry; I’m dealing with some personal shit. It won’t happen again.” I walked over to the back computer to pull up the list of work orders for the day.
“It’s cool, man, I get it. It’s just Jillian is out sick, and we have a busy day ahead of us.”
My hands froze mid-type. She didn’t come in today. My mouth ran dry and my blood turned to ice. “What’s the matter with her?” I tried to hide the feeling in my voice. I knew exactly what was wrong with her. She got involved with a jackass who stomped on her heart.
“I don’t know, man. Probably woman shit.” He walked over to the wall and smacked the button on the lift. My chest burned. The thought of her sitting at home miserable and cursing my name was excruciating. I had to get out of there.
The words jumbled on the screen when I pulled up the work orders. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but getting back to her. Counting to ten, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I opened them, the words on the screen made sense and I got to work.
The day was terrible. I made so many stupid mistakes that I was afraid to touch anything. “Dude, what’s going on with you today?” AJ asked, after I spilled transmission fluid all over the place.
“I don’t know, man. Just off my game. I got a lot on my mind.” Red fluid trickled down the car and rolled over the concrete floor, I grabbed a rag and started to sop up the mess I made. “Would you be pissed if I skipped out at lunch, dude? I got some shit I gotta do.”
He looked at me funny. He was a smart guy, and I’m sure it didn’t pass by him that Jillian was sick, and now, I was leaving early for personal reasons. “Yeah, man, go ahead. I got this.”
“Thanks, bro.” I dropped the hood on the car and backed it out of the garage before getting into my own car and driving away.
Just as I’d done in the past, I went around the block and parked behind the house. The probability that she wouldn't hear me out was high, but I needed to try. She couldn't get rid of me that easily; I wouldn't allow it.
The house sat lonely among the trees as I ran through the shallow woods and up to the sliding glass door in the back. She was curled up on the couch watching television; a blanket laid half on her lap and half on the floor.
My stomach clenched as I tapped on the glass. She turned her head and saw me there, turning away in a huff. After the longest thirty seconds of my life, she got off the couch and walked over to the door. I swallowed hard, watching the graceful way she walked toward me, one naked foot in front of the other, arms swinging delicately at her sides. Her legs were bare and the tattered Anthrax tee shirt she wore was so faded you could barely tell the guy on the front was being electrocuted. It amazed me how she could be so hardcore, yet still so dainty at the same time.
She clicked the lock on the door and slid it open. “What do you want, Jameson?” she asked, the words sliding off her tongue like a razor. The look in her eyes tore me to shreds. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I kissed her dizzy on the table behind her instead of just a few weeks.
“Why aren’t you at work?”
“I’m sick. What’s it to you?”
I rubbed my bare arm with my hand, freezing under her cold glare. “We need to talk about last night.”
“We have nothing to talk about. I’m so done with all of this. Go back to work.” She turned her back on me, walking toward the family room, but I followed her inside. She stopped at the other end of the table and threw her hands up before letting them fall to her sides. “Why are you doing this to me?” Her shoulders rose and fell and her head hung low. I knew she was crying.
“Jillian, you need to understand.”
“Understand what, Jameson?” She whipped around to face me. “The virgin won’t be good enough in bed. Trust me, I heard you loud and clear.”
I slammed my hands down on the table with such force that everything shook. “No! That’s not it at all!” I shouted. “Don’t you get it? You’re too good!”
“Too good? What does that even mean?”
“You’re too good for me, Jillian. Every day I see you and I can't believe someone like you can even like a guy like me. My own father didn’t even want me. My mother killed herself just to get away from me. I’m nothing and you’re everything, don’t you see that? You’re better than a quick fuck in the backseat of my car.”
She stood there silent; her tear-filled eyes were saucers of surprise. “I’m really not that special,” she said quietly.
My tone softened to match hers. “But you are. You’re sweet and pure and beautiful in every way. You’re selfless and kind. I’m l
ess than zero. I’m a tumbleweed, a piece of dust, a pebble in the shoe of anyone I care about.”
“How could you believe that? Stop saying you’re nothing because you’re not. I couldn't give a rat’s ass about your parents, Jameson. You may have been nothing to them, but you’re everything to me.”
“You deserve so much more than I can give you.”
“That’s the problem. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is you.” Another tear fell and I walked over and wiped it away. “Please kiss me.” Her voice was barely a whisper. She looked up at me with her sad brown eyes, and it broke me. I wanted her too, so damn badly. Not just her body, her. Everything I’d told her last night was the truth. She changed me. She brought color into a life that was gray and bleak. I wanted to take her away from this shit life and give her everything she deserved.
I brought my mouth down to hers, and she kissed me hungrily, pressing her body against mine, not even caring that I was a mess from working all morning. “Take me upstairs, Jameson.” Her leg came up around mine. I slipped my hands under her ass and hoisted her off the ground finally allowing myself to be sucked into the magnetic energy that had surrounded us since day one. I didn’t have a pot to piss in. The only thing I could give her was the one thing I’d been denying her all along. The only thing I had to give. Me.
“Cutie, we can't do this until I've had a shower.” I carried her up the stairs to the bathroom, setting her down on lid of the toilet as I reached into the shower to turn it on. She lifted her arms asking me to pull the old tee shirt over her head without having to use actual words. Her full tits rose and fell with each deep breath she took, but it wasn't even about that anymore. Not for me. This moment was going to connect us forever.
Steam began to fill the room. My hands skimmed her soft skin as the tee shirt fell away and landed on the floor. She followed my lead, sliding her hands under my shirt and pulling it off, searing her lips to my chest as it dropped to the floor next to hers.