by B. Avery
I keep getting these pitying looks from everyone, and it makes me want to scream. I don't regret anything. I never will. I am so, so sorry I caused you so much trouble. I love you. I always have, and I always will.
He reread the letter twice more, relieved she wasn't being treated as a social pariah. He was perfectly happy to be the villain of the piece if it meant no one was shaming Carmine. Even better, she hadn't mentioned a word about the Angelica harassing her. Strange as it seemed, Angelica was honoring his request.
He folded the letter and tucked it into his breast pocket, knowing he should destroy it but helpless to do so. He'd put it somewhere safe in the house where he could look back over it when he needed her comfort. Then he dug through the kitchen drawer in search of the tablet he knew was there somewhere and sat down to pen his reply.
****
With Shauna trailing him like a bloodhound, he couldn't get to the cabin as often as he would have liked, meaning he was lucky if he and Carmine managed to exchange two letters a month. He'd failed utterly at getting the restraining order dismissed, but Carmine was safe, her letters hopeful, and things could have been a great deal worse.
Still, he hoped that something would happen to distract Shauna's attention from him, preferably with Angelica since she seemed to be the one person in this town she seemed to hate even more than she hated him. It was a shame she loathed him, as her willingness to go after Angelica would make her a fine ally once he decided what he was going to do to his competitor.
He obsessed over his pending revenge, needing the distraction to keep him from fixating on Carmine. The restraining order was little more than a piece of paper, and there were days when ignoring it felt like the smartest thing he could have done, days when jail-time seemed like a small price to pay for having Carmine in his arms, her mouth under his.
He caught sight of her sometimes, Bartley not big enough to hide her from him completely. She looked well even if her smile didn't shine as brightly as he was accustomed to. She still wore his necklace, still met his eyes whenever she felt him watching her, her blue eyes showing the love she wasn't allowed to express.
Therefore it came as a bit of a surprise when he spotted her walking hand in hand with Corbin Farley.
They were ahead of him on the sidewalk, their backs to him, but he'd recognize those chestnuts curls anywhere. He froze where he was as they continued on their way, forcing people to swerve around him. He was oblivious to the glares shot his way, (The town was walking a fine line between disgust and fear now. They might think he was a pedophile, but they didn’t want to cross him.) blind to anything but Carmine walking away from him with another man.
He watched as they turned a corner, apparently on their way to the coffee shop. The sickening rush of jealousy blurred his vision, and he wanted to kill the boy, kill Angelica, kill everyone responsible for taking her away from him. Carmine was his, was meant to be his, and being without her made him feel like he was losing his mind.
Perhaps he was, he thought as he bypassed the shop and kept walking. With his back, the cabin was too far away to reach on foot, but he couldn't seem to stop. If he let himself process the fact that he'd lost Carmine, he was going to go completely off the rails.
It took nearly three hours, and by the time he got there Smith was convinced that his back was ruined for life, but he made it at last, firmly locking the door behind him to shut out the rest of reality. He went to the teapot more out of habit than hope, surprised when he found a letter nestled inside.
The temptation to simply burn it unread was nearly irresistible. The last thing he wanted was to read that she didn't love him anymore, that she'd given up on him. Yet, these were her words, perhaps the last ones she'd ever have for him, and he couldn't bring himself to destroy them.
His fingers twitched, wishing they were wrapped around a bottle. There was a nearly-full bottle of scotch back at the house, but in the state he was in he'd never make it. Nor did he think he could wait that long to read her letter. Bad news or not, he had to know. Instead, the schedule would have to have his heart broken now, then drink himself blind whenever he made it home.
Reluctantly, he withdrew the folded paper from the envelope, his heart in his throat.
A woman, Angelica, has been sniffing around my parents. She's very concerned that I've been damaged by my 'association' with you.
Smith's breath came faster as he realized the game the Angelica was playing. She was sticking to the letter of her agreement to not harm Carmine. Instead, she was trying to manipulate Carmine’s parents into doing it for her.
Please don't be mad, but Corbin asked me out again. If I'm dating him, they can't say that I'm damaged and it’ll distract them. This isn't what I want, but I'm scared.
He closed his eyes, dizzy with a mixture of relief and nausea. His clever girl was protecting herself since he wasn't able to defend her. Yet in all the years he'd known her, Carmine had never verbalized fear of anything. That Angelica was frightening her now... The bitch would pay.
He read the rest of her letter, treasuring her words of affection all the more for how unexpected they were. She was still his. He hadn't lost her. As soon as he finished, he took up his own pen and began a reply.
Do whatever you need to do, love. I could never be angry that you're keeping yourself safe. I think it's high time that woman stopped interfering in our lives, don't you?
****
He spent the night at the cabin, his back well beyond being able to support him. To his surprise, Shauna didn't come looking for him that night or the next day either. He'd been counting on her vigilance to garner him a ride back into town. Instead, he called a cab, learning almost immediately what had distracted her.
Smith might be an outcast, but the juicy gossip was too much for his driver not to share. Deputy Arby's apparent cancer scare enough to break through even Smith's self-absorption. This left the town without a major power player, giving him the golden opportunity to replace Angelica's lapdog with someone more appropriate. Shauna Heron might hate him, but if she was willing to punch out Angelica, he wanted the woman on his side. If he was planning to cut Angelica’s legs out from under her, getting rid of her support network would be a powerful first step.
Time seemed to be passing differently now. When he thought back on the glorious time he’d spent with Carmine, the days bled together in a blissful eternity of contentment. It felt like they’d been together for a thousand years. Now, the days kicked along at a relentless pace, weeks piling up like someone had hit the fast-forward button on all their lives.
He settled himself near the back of the auditorium where a debate was taking place. People gave him a wide berth, but it wasn’t until he spotted Carmine near the front of the room that it bothered him, because there was no one nearby to block his view of the way the Farley boy wrapped his arm around her shoulders, guiding her as far away from Smith as they could get.
He stared at the back of her head, running his eyes over her hungrily as he slipped his hand into his pocket, stroking his fingers over the velvet ring box he’d never stopped carrying. They’d elope the day she graduated college, disappear, and no one would ever be able to take her away from him again.
He was aware of the rumbling in the crowd as people turned to stare at him, but he had eyes only for Carmine who rose shakily from her seat, shaking off the tall boy’s grip as she fled the room.
He clenched his fingers, fighting the urge to go after her. It was an impossibility with Shauna itching to throw him in jail at the slightest hint he wasn’t abiding by the restraining order, but her obvious distress was more than he could bear.
Although he’d intended to go back to the house, something was drawing him to the cabin. There was no way Carmine would be able to sneak away from such a public meeting, but he couldn’t suppress the hope that she’d been able to do just that.
There was no letter waiting for him this time, but he sat down at the table to compose another one anyway, wondering
if she’d be able to understand why he’d done what he had. Her approval was too much to hope for, but he’d settle for understanding. It took him three drafts to come up with something he thought she might accept, and he was just folding it into the teapot when the door behind him opened.
“Mr. Smith?”
It felt like an eternity since he’d heard her voice, and he could scarcely believe his good fortune that they’d actually ended up in the same place at the same time. She hesitated in the doorway, not coming closer. “Do you hate me?”
“Never,” he said solidly. She looked up at him, her inner conflict written clearly on her face. He ran his fingers through her hair, wondering how he could have forgotten how soft it was to the touch.
Carmine nodded slightly. “But why? I let my parents convince me to get a restraining order against you. Everyone thinks you’re some kind of monster and that you took advantage of me. I’d understand if you did.”
“Because you did what you had to.” He watched her face carefully as he spoke. She was seeing him at his most vulnerable.
“Alright,” she breathed, rubbing her cheek against his.
He chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair.
Carmine looked up at him, her lips slightly parted, and he claimed the offered kiss, catching her upper arms to pull her up to him. He groaned as he thrust his tongue into her mouth, seeking to memorize her flavor after going far too long without it. “How long can you stay?” he whispered between kisses, his hands sliding over her thin blouse, relearning the curves of her body.
“Long enough for this,” she said fiercely, her arms tightening around his neck to pull him into a kiss that she dominated this time, her tongue hungrily searching his mouth as though she was starving for him. “I missed you,” she moaned when they had to pull apart to breathe.
“I missed you more.” He'd been jealous of her friends and her parents even when they'd been together, wanting every moment of her time for himself. Now that they'd been separated, it seemed grossly unfair that those people who didn't- couldn't possibly- love her like he did were entitled to spend time with her when he was not. Carmine was all he had, and as long as she was with him he didn't mind at all. She was all he needed, but he needed her with a desperation that nearly frightened him.
Nearly, but not quite, because she was Carmine and she'd proven over and over again that she loved him, needed him just as much. He wanted to take her upstairs or at least to the sofa and make love to her for hours, relearn every bit of her skin, see if she still tasted the same, whisper promises against her throat and kiss away the memory of every hour they'd been forced apart. But her parents would be wondering where she was, and it was only a matter of time before Shauna came after him, and there was no time for any of it.
Instead, they tore at each others' clothes, not even bothering to undress fully before she was straddling his lap and lowering herself onto him. He clutched her hips, trying not to thrust up, trying to give her time, but she was so hot and so tight and he wanted her so badly that it was a lost cause.
Carmine cried out as he thrust into her, her head falling back to bare her throat to him, and he attacked her neck with biting kisses as she ground down against him. She clenched around him, squeezing him in a vice of pleasure as he lapped at her throat, wanting only to bite and suck, to leave marks, to tell all of Bartley that she was his, and the town would never succeed in tearing them apart.
When he'd imagined their reunion, he'd envisioned something slow and gentle- long kisses and soft words and the fulfillment of knowing she'd never be taken away from him again. This was fast and hard and desperate, but no less beautiful for it, Carmine sobbing against his mouth, murmuring broken words of love between kisses as he frantically tried to touch her everywhere, knowing this was only a brief reprieve until they were wrenched apart again.
He swallowed her scream, holding her tightly as his hips jerked with his own climax. She was his again, his Carmine, but it was only a matter of minutes before she was pulling away from him to gather her clothes. “I have to go-”
“I know.” He got himself back together, never taking his eyes off her. “Marry me, Carmine.”
She threw herself into his arms with a sob, kissing him for all she was worth. “Yes. Of course. Of course,” she gasped against his lips. He reached into his pocket, then took her hand without breaking their kiss, sliding the ring onto her finger.
When they finally had to break apart to breathe, he brushed his thumb against her cheek to wipe away tears before tugging on her hand. “Carmine.” She looked down and gasped, her lips trembling as they both looked down at his ring on her finger. It was simple, classic. The diamond was modestly-sized but shone like it had its own source of inner light, and it was flanked by a row of small stones that nearly matched the color of her eyes.
“It's so beautiful,” she murmured in awe, “How did-?”
“I've been carrying it for awhile,” he admitted, lifting her hand to his mouth so he could kiss her fingers and admire how perfectly the ring suited her, just like he knew it would. “It helped keep you close.”
She rested her head on his shoulder, gazing at the ring. “I can't wear it yet though, can I?” she asked sadly, “People will know.”
“I don't care,” he hissed, pulling her closer, “Let them know.”
“You are not going to jail because of me,” she said, voice firm, and he'd so missed having her around to scold him. With a reluctant sigh, she slid the ring off her finger and offered it to him. “Keep it for me. Until I come back and get rid of the restraining order. Till I can wear it.”
He wanted to take the ring and put it right back on her finger, put it back where it belonged, but she'd never stand for it. He took it, sliding it back into his pocket before cradling her face and looking fiercely into her eyes, “The very day you come back to me, love.”
“I'm yours,” she agreed, her face clear.
“We'll make it,” he agreed, leaning down for one last kiss before she tore herself away from him, darting out the cabin door without a backward glance.
****
The days bled together, moving at a breakneck pace as he did everything in his power to erode Angelica's. A few choice words murmured in the right ears and another bit of her control slipped, leaving her frayed and desperate and in a position to make mistakes. Her business was suffering while his was positively booming. Then suddenly one day, Carmine was back, her bags packed and waiting for him at the end of the road.
Tears flooded her eyes as he embraced her, and this time she didn’t pull away when he brushed his lips against hers. His skin tingled as she pressed deeper. With a sigh he pulled away, watching as Carmine’s eyes fluttered open. “Finally,” she murmured.
“Hope that suits,” he said carelessly, looking at the hand that was now touching her face before he was distracted by the feel of her breath against his lips. Kissing Carmine had been heaven, but having Carmine’s mouth under his own was transcendent. He was just lowering his head to kiss her again, when Carmine chuckled, “I know that look. That’s your ’Have I got plans for you’ look.”
He grinned and captured her lips again, needing to taste her, the familiar spice of her mouth filling his senses. “I do have plans for you.” A thought struck him and he pulled back slightly so she couldn’t feel how much he liked his idea. “If you’re willing.”
“If I’m willing?” she asked in disbelief, “I’ve loved you for years and you’re asking that now?”
He dragged himself off of her and extended a hand to help her to her feet. “What you want might have changed. You’re a woman of the world now.”
“Impossible,” Carmine said firmly as she regained her feet, somehow looking perfect in the even in her jeans, “And we’re going to make her very happy tonight.” Her smile was wicked as she slid her arms around his waist, pressing herself against her.
“Oh?” he managed, running his hands down the length of her spine just for the shee
r luxury of being able to touch her.
“Oh yeah,” she nodded, her voice dark with promise, “For four years all she wanted was to spend the entire night in your bed.”
He stole a kiss, unable to resist the temptation to do so. “Why don’t we spend it in our bed instead?” A thought struck him, and he felt in the pocket of the wool pants that he was still wearing, pleased to find what he wanted. “And I think I have something that belongs to you.”
He proffered the engagement ring, and Carmine's eyes flooded with tears as she held her left hand out for him to slide it back into place. Smith admired the sparkle of the ring on her finger. It belonged to a different world, but it somehow looked exactly right on her.
Carmine’s smile was incandescent as she whirled away from him and caught him by the hand. Giggling like a pair of teenagers, they made their way to their way to the bedroom, and although they didn’t quite make it there to start off, it couldn’t have mattered less to Smith. They had all the time in the world now. There was no one left to take Carmine away from him, and he'd never be fool enough to push her away again.
THE END
About the Author:
B. Avery enjoys reading and writing short, romance stories that make you swoon. Where We Begin is just the start of her publishing journey, so follow her if you enjoy what you read!
Thank you for making her dreams come true. <3