by Pat Ellis
They’d been busy as well; Squad 1 had been lead on 7 combat ops since Tristan’s almost death, which was ridiculous to say the least. But, it was to be expected. With Ren and his magic on their side, Squad 1 was practically invincible! At least, it felt that way to Tristan. Control knew who they could count on. Besides that, there were now only 9 active squads out of CNDI’s 36. 9 out of 36, and it was mostly due to purposeful shitbaggery. Too many squads intentionally keeping their scores just low enough in order to protect themselves from active duty, but not too low to where they might be redistributed into other units. Selfish pricks. But, anyway—
It was the start of a free weekend and Ren was still avoiding him. With their busy schedule and Ren’s talent for slipping out of sight in an instant—those thieving, lurking-in-the-shadows skills that had kept him alive before CNDI—this would be Tristan’s first real opportunity to back him into a corner. The weekend had started and Ren had already bounced, but Tristan knew his friend well enough to figure out where he’d gone. Ren was like him and always went out of town on free weekends. The weather was warm and clear, and Ren loved to be near the ocean in the mornings. Shalla Beach was the best—always empty because of the sharp rocks, and more commercially appealing beaches nearby. And, of course he was there, sitting on the rocks close to the water, not answering his phone.
Ren’s hair was glistening bronze in the sun, billowing wildly around his face with every gust of wind, lean arms, bare and tan, draped over his knees. Tristan watched his unmoving form from a distance, wondering how he was going to do what he was going to do. But, Tristan was a man who ran mostly on instinct, so he didn’t think too long. He strolled down the beach and sat on the rocks at Ren’s side before Ren even knew he was there.
Ren started and looked at Tristan with wide eyes before giving him an uneasy smile; perfectly weird, hazel eyes, glowing in the sun. Earth brown splashed out from his pupils into transparent yellow-green, flecked with dark spots like falling leaves. His smooth, foxlike face was beautiful, though clearly belonging to a guy. Tristan had never found a guy attractive before, but he was also never one to lie to himself. For whatever reason, Ren drove him crazy.
—Fucking over-the-top insane! And the unfamiliarity, even the taboo, somehow made what he felt, what he wanted, all the more exciting. He was practically drunk with the need to act—
The sun was making Ren’s freckles stand out, and Tristan could barely contain himself. He was getting hard just thinking about what he was about to do. Patience and self-control were becoming almost foreign qualities, and he figured it had something to do with the urgency almost dying had instilled in him.
“Hey, Tristan.”
“Hey, Ren.” He bit his lower lip, a nervous habit. “I’ve missed you.”
Ren’s face twisted with guilt. He was so transparent. “Sorry, I just—”
“I know. I’m not dumb. But, I wish you’d stop running from me. Don’t know what good you think that’ll do.”
“Sorry… It’s just hard…” Ren turned to the side and lowered his head, letting his hair hide his eyes.
“Mmhmm.” Tristan reached out and pushed the hair back from Ren’s face and Ren shifted his eyes uncomfortably. “What are you afraid of?”
“I…”
“Rejection? Getting what you want? The unknown?” Tristan laughed and ruffled Ren’s hair. “What’s worse than waiting to find out? It’s this marinating you’re doing right now that’s scary. Why not just get it over with, eh?”
Ren met his eyes and turned red. “I don’t think I know how. Tristan… Just the idea of you is almost too much for me to handle. The real thing, it’s… it’s—”
That was it. He pushed Ren backwards, off the rocks and into the wet sand, pinning him to the ground, suppressing any protest with a heavy kiss.
Ren resisted, rigid with shock at first, but only for a second. He melted into Tristan almost instantly, trembling hands gripping the back of Tristan’s shirt. He tasted like sweet coffee. Tristan didn’t ease into the kiss. He was too far gone for that. He balled Ren’s hair in a fist and forced his lips apart with his tongue, swallowing whatever words tried to escape. The small sounds of pleasure he ate were driving him wild.
—Fucking crazy! He couldn’t hold back, was afraid he might hurt him with it, wanted to hurt him, wanted him to want to be hurt by him, and god he fucking did! Tristan could feel it, plain as day, Ren was over the fucking moon for it! Tristan had never wanted anything so bad in his life. He wanted Ren, but, more than that, he wanted Ren to want him just as bad, and god he fucking did! Tristan could hear it in his breath, feel it in the way pulled him close, desperately closer—
Ren moaned and arched his back, forcing their bodies together, painfully close but still not close enough, and Tristan was sent well over the edge. Everything that had been building inside him since that night—the night—was set free and he tore at Ren’s shirt, shoving it over his head, kissing and biting the sweet flesh beneath, down to his navel—god it was so sweet! The skin just above his waistband was unreasonably soft and inviting. Tristan tasted it with his tongue and Ren inhaled sharply, gripping Tristan’s hair in a fist before exclaiming, “Holy fuck, Tristan, wait, wait…”
Wait? “Hm?” Tristan raised his head, just barely able to muster the self-control to stop unzipping Ren’s jeans. He crawled his body up until they were face to face again and was unable to resist the urge to rub his hard cock against Ren’s. “Ah! Hold up, hold up,” Ren breathed.
“Hm?” Tristan was well beyond words already, but he tried for something. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong. Shit, you were about to make me bust.” Ren laughed.
Tristan bit his lip and inhaled sharply. “Say that again.”
“Tristan… why are you—”
“Later, later. I want you, just let me have you, alright?”
“Shit, Tristan. I’m yours, I’m yours,” Ren said with another short laugh, still catching his breath.
Tristan hastily undid Ren’s pants and Ren began to tug at his shirt, so he stopped to strip himself.
Ren’s skin was incredible. It felt so perfect against his, new and strange and forbidden, but somehow easy, like they’d been at this forever; like a long-awaited reunion with all the excitement of the first time. He held Ren tight, memorizing the feel of it, biting at his neck, kissing those perfect freckles. Ren’s hands were sending him back over the edge. But, it still wasn’t close enough. “Tell me what to do.” Tristan’s voice shook a bit—he really didn’t know what was acceptable in this situation.
Ren pushed away and met his eyes. “You wanna fuck me?” He grinned, a bit shyly.
Just those words— “Fuck, yes!” He pushed Ren down onto his back again and Ren laughed, throwing his arms above his head in the sand. He looked otherworldly, like some kind of faerie creature; beautiful but crazed, with wild hair and dilated pupils and a mad smile. Tristan wanted to eat him.
“Like this?” Tristan said, sitting on his heels and settling Ren’s legs over his shoulders. He lightly ran his fingers across the smooth, pale skin of Ren’s inner thighs and Ren answered him with an “Mmmm,” arching his back and biting his lip. Tristan spit into his palm and lubricated himself with saliva, watching Ren squirm impatiently at the sight of him stroking himself.
“God! Fuck, do anything to me, any way you want!” Ren rolled his head back into the wet sand and covered his face with his hands.
Tristan teased Ren for a little longer, allowing himself to calm as much as possible—which wasn’t much at all. He wanted to make this last. He rubbed his head against Ren’s opening, pushing inside only slightly every few seconds, pulling back as Ren tried to force him in deeper. Ren was starting to lose it in the most adorable way. “Tristan, fuck! Please, please do it! Shit, I can’t take it!”
Finally, Tristan eased himself inside, slowly, trying to maintain some semblance of self-control while stroking Ren’s erection, watching him spasm with pleas
ure at his touch, his hands still covering his face, small moans and curses escaping his mouth seemingly of their own volition. He was so fucking tight! Ren’s back arched with a moan again, and he squeezed Tristan even tighter as he went deeper. Tristan’s self-control cracked until there was nothing left.
He fell on top of Ren, pulling Ren’s hands away from his face, and kissed him hard again as he thrusted, rhythmically sliding in and out as Ren dug his fingers into his back, cradling Tristan with his legs. Ren’s small cries of pleasure vibrated in his mouth. He writhed beneath Tristan, pushing against him, forcing him ever deeper, harder…
—Over-the-top insane! He’d never felt anything so fucking good! He couldn’t last much longer—
Tristan had to break the kiss to breathe and Ren cried out, “Fuck, Tristan, Trist—shit, I’m coming!”
That did it. Ren’s orgasm pulsated against him and he spilled his come deep inside Ren with a muffled moan of his own. He buried his face in Ren’s shoulder as he finished hard, dizzy with the release. “Ah… Ren, you’re so fucking good!”
“Aha… ditto,” Ren said between breaths.
The world spun pleasantly beneath them and Tristan wished time would stop. They lay like that for a good minute, Ren absentmindedly stroking Tristan’s hair while their breathing returned to normal.
Eventually, the sun became too much on Tristan’s back. He lifted his head and kissed Ren again, cradling his face in his hands. “Let’s jump in the water. It’s fucking hot!”
“You’re fucking hot,” Ren said with an easy grin.
The ocean was only inches away. Tristan stood, pulling Ren to his feet, and they stumbled into the water. Ren wasn’t a strong swimmer, so he clung pleasantly to Tristan as the cool waves crashed against them, and Tristan wrapped his arms around Ren’s slim waist.
“Not to sound cheesy or anything, but this doesn’t quite seem real.” Ren laughed.
“Why not?” Admittedly, it felt a bit surreal to Tristan as well.
“Well… you’re you?”
Tristan couldn’t help but laugh at that. He figured it was that goddamn poster that led everyone to question him anytime he did anything outside of being CNDI’s model prodigy. But, Ren was different than the others. Ren was probably just referring to the fact that Tristan had explicitly liked women. Or, used to, that is. “Ren, I gotta tell you something… that night,” he bit his lip, “I guess I never realized it before.”
Ren smiled a little uneasily. “Oh… yeah? Man, I still don’t know what came over me… It’s like I was just there suddenly and I had to kiss you.”
“Hm? Well, I’m glad you did. But, I wasn’t talking about that. I meant the night in the cave… All those things you said to me… nobody’s ever—”
Ren’s face turned into a tomato. “You… you heard all that?”
“Well, yeah. Felt a bit like a dream, but I can tell the difference. What? Don’t look like that,” Tristan laughed, “it was the sweetest thing. And it broke my fucking heart, you hurting like that. But, what I’m trying to say is,” he swallowed hard, heart racing, “I love you too. More than you could ever know.”
Ren’s eyes grew wide and watery, “W-what?”
Tristan rocked him side-to-side playfully and said, in a sing-song voice, “I love you, Ren.”
“I-I love you too.” Ren looked dazed, as if he’d been the one brought back from the dead.
“Yeah, I know! You told me like a thousand times.” He couldn’t say it with a straight face, and laughed hysterically as Ren sent waves of ocean water over his head.
“Asshole!”
“You love it!”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Tristan pulled Ren back in and gave him another long kiss. “I love you, Ren. Sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”
“Goddammit,” Ren put his arms around Tristan’s neck, face almost desperate, “love you too, Tristan.”
Tristan smiled, kissed him once more, then took Ren’s hand and lead him back to the shore. “Now, if you’re done dodging me, can we go to Faulken City? I got a room there, and I want fried oysters.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ren laughed and shook his head. “I’ll go anywhere you want.”
“Let’s make this one count, eh?”
“Yeah… absolutely.”
They sat on the beach, letting the hot sun dry their skin. Tristan would make every second count. After all, who knew how many they had left? He gripped Ren’s hand and held on for dear life.
The Ocean
(Included in: The Demon King and the Boy Who Hardly Knew Anything)
The ocean rages, awakened by an electric vitality; enigmatic and all-consuming
Just you and me, the water and the light~
Aaron needed to step away from this painting, let it be for a few days and look at it again with fresh eyes, but he couldn’t tear himself away from the thing that scratched at the back of his brain with claws not quite sharp enough to hurt, yet more than enough to send him into a frenzy of apprehensive self-destruction if he ignored it for more than 23 seconds—yes, he’d counted, and yes he understood the scratching was nothing more than his irrational obsession taunting him from the inside out, but understanding and admitting he had a problem hadn’t done a damn thing to resolve all of the elements that weren’t going together properly within this fucking painting that had consumed his life for the last three weeks, leaving him a sleep and sanity deprived shell of a shell of a shell…
Aaron had made a reasonable amount of money with this latest obsession… passion of his. He’d had an eye for the visual arts since before he knew the words, and had always found a euphoric satisfaction in almost capturing pieces of his own psyche on a two-dimensional surface. Others seemed to appreciate the oddities that came out of his head as well, which was a fortunate bonus, seeing as how he’d spent little time on anything else in months. Erik was encouraging and supportive as usual, but worry was plain on his friend’s face whenever he took notice of Aaron’s bloodshot, slow to focus eyes. Erik… it was good for Erik that he’d been so preoccupied, in a way. Aaron had smothered Erik with his constant presence and attention for too long; it couldn’t have been healthy for either of them. Erik was getting out more now, spending time with people who weren’t Aaron; actually socializing, like real people do. He saw Charlotte often enough that Aaron thought maybe he’d found a lover in the breezy bartender, which made him jealous and a little heartbroken, but he really did want Erik to be happy more than anything. And, Aaron was able to create something for a change. Since as far back as he could remember, his life had revolved around taking things away, destroying things, killing, removing; he didn’t want to be just an eraser anymore. Erik had given the world music his whole life, despite everything. Erik had known how important it was…
But, this fucking painting wasn’t coming together at all, and it was likely due to the fact that Aaron hadn’t been able to put his finger on what exactly the whole thing was supposed to be enough to figure out what could possibly be missing. There were very little representational elements in this one, which probably wasn’t helping much. A lot of hard edges, a lot of tension, conflicting color schemes, yet somehow harmonized… except, it wasn’t. Something was wrong; he was wrong about something… but what?
Aaron moved to rotate the painting on the easel so he could get a look at it upside down when the most improbable and laughably unfortunate thing happened. A large slab of plaster tore itself loose from the ceiling and came crashing down, straight through the center of the hapless painting, leaving the whole thing nothing but shredded canvas hanging limp from stretcher bars that no longer stretched anything.
He might’ve laughed if he could breathe. Instead, he collapsed to the ground onto his side with a less than human groan, clutching his chest as if he could reach through to his heart and hold it together.
He still couldn’t breathe.
“Aaron? What happened in here?” Erik must have come home at some point while Aaron lay on th
e ground not breathing. “Shit… you ok?”
“Fuck!” In his head it was a scream, but it came out less than audible.
“Hey… it’s alright.” He heard Erik’s footsteps come closer. “Look… you did it once, you can do it again. And faster this time, since you already know what you did, right?”
“It doesn’t work like that!” It came out much harsher than he’d wanted and he cringed.
Erik didn’t say anything. He laid himself down on the floor parallel to Aaron, face to face, and held Aaron’s tearing eyes in his own. Fuck, he hadn’t realized he was crying. “Sorry… I’m ridiculous, yeah?” He let out a derisive laugh.
“I don’t think so.”
“Then what am I?”
Erik juxtaposed his furrowed brow with a crooked smile. “Reasonably upset.” He reached a hand up to cradle Aaron’s cheek and Aaron stopped breathing again. Erik pushed his tears away with his thumb, taking Aaron back to the jungle for a moment. “You know, I hate to see you so sad… but I like how much you care.” Nobody’s eyes were so blue…
“Erik,” Aaron barely found his voice, “I think it was a sign…”
“Maybe it was. Maybe it was trying to tell you you’re going about it all the wrong way and you’re never gonna get anywhere with your head like this. Come out with me tonight, will you? It’s been a while.”
“Oh…”
“Please? I miss you, you know.”
Aaron’s heart quickened. No, no, no, you’ll ruin everything for him! He’s just trying to make you feel better! “Yeah, ok.”
Erik beamed at him and ruffled his already disheveled hair. “Good! Now get up off the floor. It’s dirty.”
Blundering half-drunk around Magreet with Erik was bittersweet. He was happy, Erik made him so happy, but what he wanted… it was too much. It hurt. He could hardly control himself. God, what was going to happen to them? What would he do if Erik ever got married? It hurt, it fucking hurt! Erik smiled at him, so genuine, so perfect, he didn’t want to share it with anyone else.