Under Shadow of Doubt

by Juanita Kees

  Jaime leaned over and kissed her. She returned his kiss as if it were her lifeline, reluctant to let him go and face the ghosts.

  ‘Oh yuck. Stop it, you two,’ their daughter exclaimed from the backseat, loosening her seatbelt and placing her hand on the door handle. ‘Let’s go meet my nonna.’

  Jaime pulled away with a sigh. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Peta, his eyes filled with promise and climbed out of the car. He helped them out onto the pavement, but didn’t let go of their hands. ‘Let’s get this show on the road,’ he muttered.

  They walked up the long pathway to the front door, each step heavier than the last. The churning in Peta’s stomach intensified, apprehension tugging at her throat and doubt lingering in the shadows of her mind.

  Reaching the door, Jaime kissed them both. ‘Whatever happens …’

  Peta squeezed his hand before he let it go to reach for the door handle.

  A tall, dark-haired woman threw open the door, her arms wide. ‘Jaime, tesoro, where have you been?’ she demanded, throwing herself into his arms. Jaime steadied himself with his hands on the woman’s hips, wincing as his injured leg twisted under her weight. She hurried along in a spate of Italian, her hands all over his face, her lips smothering his cheeks in kisses, aiming for his lips.

  Peta studied the woman carefully, the churning in her stomach morphing into a full blown tsunami. She was tall and willowy, about the same height as Jaime and the way she pressed her body to his indicated he knew her well. Very well. Her long, black hair was shiny and pulled back into a knot, tied with a red silk scarf. Her matching red suit screamed Armani. It took her a while to acknowledge her audience. And when she did, her eyes were filled with a spiteful possessiveness that threw ice-cold anger down Peta’s spine.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said sweetly in a heavily-accented voice. ‘This man of mine just disappeared … how do you say in English … without a word to anyone.’

  Peta’s stomach curled into a tight knot as doubt edged back into her thoughts, stronger than before. The woman managed English perfectly well and she hadn’t misinterpreted the situation. She’d made it perfectly clear. Jaime wasn’t hers to keep. He belonged to another woman. And he’d done to her what he’d done to Peta—had a case of cold feet.

  She looked at Jaime, his jaw set, his lips pulled into a grim line and his hands still firmly on the woman’s hips, knuckles white.

  ‘Man of yours?’ She hated the tremor in her voice, the way her throat tightened and tears stung her eyes. The past rolled in to torment her again. The echo of his mother’s voice in her head telling her about the girl from Tuscany he would eventually marry and bring together the two oldest families from the valley.

  The girl raised her eyes heavenward. ‘Yes,’ she said impatiently as if Peta was a child who could not understand what she was saying. ‘I am Maria, his fiancée.’

  Peta felt her heart shatter, shards of glass that pierced every corner of her soul as they ripped her dreams to pieces and left them broken on the pavement outside his parents’ house. Again. His fiancée? She looked at Jaime waiting for him to deny it, but he seemed to be at a loss for words. He stared at the woman in front of him as if she were a ghost.

  ‘It seems there’s something you’ve forgotten to tell me, Jaime,’ she prompted, fighting back the tears that burned in her throat, looking to him to deny it, struggling to understand why he couldn’t.

  Jaime blinked and pushed the woman away, dropping his hands from her hips. Maria wasn’t about to let go easily. She curled her hands possessively around his arm and stuck to his side like a tube of super glue as she looked down at Peta, her perfectly shaped red lips parted in an ugly sneer.

  Jaime tried to shake off the woman’s hands, but his mouth remained closed on the words she wanted to hear. Maria chattered to him as if she and Bella weren’t standing on the pavement with their dreams broken at their feet. He answered her in short, sharp words, none of them in English or aimed at Peta in an explanation. They were all for Maria.

  ‘I think the situation explains itself.’ Peta took Bella’s hand, the little girl’s fingers trembling in hers. How would she even begin to explain this to her daughter? Not when she’d only just found her father. Was that the plan all along? That Maria would make the perfect stepmother for Bella? Was all that had happened between them since they’d found each other again just another lie, another game he’d played with her?

  ‘Goodbye, Jaime. I hope you and your … fiancée … are very happy together.’ She turned away from them, the road ahead empty, her heart in her throat and tears burning behind her eyes because she refused to cry them for him. She began to walk, Bella digging her heels in and bringing her to a halt.

  ‘Peta, wait,’ Jaime called out, before turning angrily on the woman next to him.

  Bella looked up at her mother, confused. ‘Mum! Where are we going? Who was that horrible lady? Mum! Dad’s calling you!’ Bella pulled at Peta’s hand.

  ‘Not now, honey, we need to get back to the hotel,’ she said, urging her daughter to walk, hurrying down the street, her calf muscles aching thanks to the high heels on her sandals.

  She looked back at Jaime and Maria, and wished she hadn’t. In the doorway, stood Jaime’s mother, her hands clasped to her chest, words of happiness flowing over the couple, her satisfaction at seeing them together evident, and so complete she didn’t need to glance down the street and see the pathetic figures they made—her and Bella—running away.

  ‘Stop, Mum! I want my dad,’ Bella begged, her little voice tearful.

  Peta stopped and knelt down in front of her daughter. ‘Dad has something he needs to sort out, Bella. Something he forgot to tell us about. When he’s done sorting it out, hopefully he’ll come and explain it to you.’ Her voice was thick with emotion and unshed tears. She hoped he would, couldn’t bear to think of the pain they’d suffer again if he didn’t. Gently, she hugged her little girl. All they had left was each other. ‘We’ll be fine, you’ll see.’

  Bella looked at her, her bottom lip quivering, shattering the last piece of Peta’s heart. ‘He’s going away again, isn’t he? He’s never going to be my dad.’

  Her head began to pound from the tears she kept in check. It took all the control she possessed not to cry herself. Her gut instinct, as always, had been painfully correct. When would she learn to trust it? And all she had left to give her daughter, after all they’d been through with Paul, was the honesty that would break her heart.

  ‘We have to wait and see, Bella, but yes, I think that’s quite possible. Come on, let’s go and ring Uncle Mark and get him to take us home to Grandma.’

  ‘I don’t want to go home to Grandma. I want my dad. She’s lying, Mum. He belongs to us now,’ Bella cried, stamping her foot.

  ‘Bella, stop that right now!’ Peta took her daughter’s shoulders firmly. ‘He doesn’t belong to anybody. Remember what I said about people being free to choose? Well, your dad has made his choice. Sweetheart, we have been through a lot over the last few weeks. So much has happened to us. So much has changed. We need time to settle down. Right now though, we are going home.’

  Her voice held a tone of finality Bella knew better than to argue against and she hated using it, but the walls needed to be rebuilt and life had to go on, even if that meant her soul had to die on Prospect Street, Williams.

  Peta stood up, took Bella’s hand once more and walked briskly in the direction of the hotel, thanking the gods that Williams was a small town and that Prospect Street was so close to Main. Her mobile phone rang. She ignored it as she pushed through the hotel doors.

  Inside their room, she threw their belongings into suitcases, mentally cursing Jaime for once again destroying her dreams. The room telephone rang, the sound shrill in the heavy silence. Peta ignored it. When it stopped, she rang the number for the reception desk and asked the girl on duty to hold all calls. Finally she finished packing and rang Mark.

  ‘Mark,’ she choked around the lump in
her throat. ‘It’s Peta. Can you come to the hotel please?’ Her voice cracked on the words.

  ‘Peta, what’s wrong? Where’s Jaime?’ His tone swung from concerned to annoyed. His feelers would be out, his instincts on high alert. He’d had this call from her before.

  ‘He’s otherwise engaged.’ She laughed bitterly at the unintended pun.

  ‘I’ll be over right away.’ The line went dead in her ear.

  Several minutes later he was knocking at her door, Harold hot on his heels. Peta gave them a watery smile, her gallant rescue team. They had always been there for her when she needed them, and today was no exception.

  ‘Why did I believe him? Why didn’t you leave it alone?’

  Mark put his arm around her and hugged her close. ‘I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation for all this, Peta.’

  Harold was not quite so sympathetic, already making plans to separate Jaime’s head from his shoulders and being quite colourful about it too.

  Peta shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter. I just want to go home and put all this behind us. It was a mistake to think we could ever be together again. There’s far too much water under the bridge. Jaime’s actions were obviously guided by his sense of duty, just as I knew they would be when he found out about Bella.’

  ‘No, Peta, that’s not true. I’ve known Jaime a long time. I’m not mistaken about his feelings for you. Jaime loves you. He always has and always will. This thing between the two of you has eaten away at him. That’s why he’s still single,’ Mark reassured her.

  ‘That’s where you’re mistaken. He’s not, is he? We have just seen his fiancée in the flesh and he certainly didn’t deny it. His mother was happy, no doubt about that. I saw it, heard it, don’t need any confirmation. The truth never lies. I’ll always be an outsider to his family.’

  Mark shook his head. ‘There has to be an explanation for all this. I was so sure …’

  ‘Leave it alone. Your intentions were good, but your plan backfired. It’s over.’ Peta’s tone brooked no further argument. The subject was closed. ‘Take me home now, please.’

  Mark sighed heavily. ‘Okay, let’s go. But I’m sure you’re making a mistake.’

  ‘He’s your friend. Of course you’d think that.’

  Mark picked up her luggage and Harold opened the door. ‘I’ll let that one go to the keeper, honey, because I know you’re hurting right now.’ He led the way down the stairs to the car and loaded it up.

  As they began the two hour drive through the bush-lined, winding roads back down to Perth, Peta looked back at Williams, nestled in the dust behind them and said goodbye to it forever. Certain this time she’d never return. Huddled in her corner on the back seat with her daughter against her side, she cried for what might have been.

  ‘Jaime has a lot to answer for,’ Mark decided. He glanced over his shoulder then back at Harold who steered the car through the dark country roads. ‘I’ll get to the bottom of this,’ he promised.

  Peta shook her head. ‘I told you to leave it alone, Mark. You’ve got to let it go. Bella and I have all we need. Thank you for what you tried to do. I do love Jaime and probably always will, but our lives have taken different paths. We’ve grown up. What we had was puppy love and now it’s over.’

  ‘That’s where you’re wrong, Peta. You and Jaime are meant for each other. Look I don’t know who this bird is, but if she is really his fiancée, don’t you think I’d be the first to know? When I heard Jaime was going to be in town at the same time as us, I knew it would be the perfect opportunity to get you two together again, where you belong. He has been torn to pieces over you, Peta, trying to do the right thing by you. I figured some pushing wouldn’t do any harm and that’s why I arranged the whole bush dance thing.’ Mark ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

  ‘You always think your plans are fool-proof.’ Peta grimaced. ‘You’re a lousy matchmaker, Mark, but as best friends and big brothers go, you do all right.’

  ‘Not a bad knight in shining armour either.’ He tried to make her smile.

  Peta sniffed and wiped away a tear. ‘Why me, Mark? Haven’t I endured enough? I get given hope and then get it taken away again.’ She looked at him, anguish and disappointment squeezing her heart. ‘I’ve delivered a baby, recovered from a nervous breakdown, conquered anorexia, raised a child, been beaten, stabbed and shot at, and now lost the man I love not once but twice. What am I doing wrong?’

  ‘You are the most special person I know, honey. Not many people could have coped with what you have. But you did. This is just a small hitch. We’ll get through it together just as we have every other challenge sent our way. We’ve batted all the curve balls and still made it home. This one won’t be any different.’

  She gave him a watery smile. ‘Where would I be without you, Mark? Why didn’t I fall in love with someone less complicated?’

  Mark threw his hands up in the air. ‘God forbid, I’d be out of a job then. The truth is,’ he continued seriously, ‘I think you should have stuck around to hear what Jaime had to say. You need to trust him, Peta. Give him a chance to explain. If he does want to explain, will you let him? Please?’

  ‘He wasn’t exactly tripping over his explanations tonight, Mark. In fact, his mouth was stitched tighter than the wound on his leg. This is what his family want for him. I can never be the perfect Italian wife.’ She already knew it was over. Jaime would not come back a third time. He couldn’t dispose of a fiancée that easily.

  ***

  Three hours after he’d shaken Maria from his arm and told his mother in no uncertain terms the trouble she’d caused, Jaime nursed a drink at the bar of the Williams Hotel. Peta was gone.

  The uneasy silence shattered as Harold crashed through the tables. He grabbed Jaime’s arm and dragged him off the bar chair; a loud, angry wall of steel, his voice commanding the attention of all twenty-something patrons who looked ready to throw their hands in and help. Not even a decorated war veteran could get away with messing with the town’s golden girl. Not then, not now, never. And he’d take what they dealt out and wear it.

  ‘I warned you, Caruso. I should beat you within an inch of your life, you dirt bag. What do you think you’re trying to prove?’ Harold stood right in his face and Jaime didn’t even try to fight back.

  A glance to his right and he saw Mark moving quickly towards them. Mark grabbed Harold’s shoulder. ‘Hold it, mate,’ he said. ‘If anyone’s going to punch him, I have first option. I’m off duty, you aren’t. Settle down, before you’re up for police brutality.’

  Harold growled angrily and gave Jaime a hard push before releasing his iron grip. Damn it, now his arm throbbed in time with his leg.

  Mark patted Harold’s back and pulled out a chair for him. ‘Show’s over, folks.’ He watched the crowd disperse. ‘Now, let’s have a drink and figure this thing out.’

  Harold lowered himself into the chair, reluctance in every move, making sure Jaime sat first under a glower that would make a prize-fighter proud. The barman placed their drinks in front of them and beat a hasty retreat.

  Mark turned to Jaime. ‘What’s going on, Jaime? Who is this fiancée and why don’t I know about her?’

  Jaime sighed and took a healthy swig of his beer. He glanced warily at Harold who snarled at him in return. ‘I thought I’d made it clear to everyone, then and now, that I wasn’t interested in marrying Maria Ferraro. I never thought she would have the gall to come out here. Her parents and mine decided that Maria would make the perfect wife for me. They threw us together at every possible opportunity. Maria was over the moon, of course. The status that comes with being the wife of a possible mining magnate is too big to pass up. Despite the fact that I showed a deliberate lack of interest in the woman, she stuck like glue. I just couldn’t shake her and the woman I did want to marry was far too young to be tied to me. So I joined the military and went to Afghanistan to shake them both.’

  ‘And what, she just happened to be in town?’ Ha
rold’s snort earned him a warning look from Mark.

  Jaime ignored him. ‘I told my parents to back off or they would never see me again. I tried to explain to Maria that I wasn’t interested in any sort of relationship with her. Unfortunately she doesn’t know how to take a hint and almost certainly doesn’t take no for an answer. And yes, Harold, when I didn’t travel to Italy as soon as I received my discharge, she hopped on a plane to come and find me. She told my mother that I’d proposed to her and we were getting married now that I was back in civilian life. My mother was rapt, as you can imagine. And all this was happening while we were out of town with Peta’s situation. By the time we got around to my mother’s when it was all over, Maria had the whole scene set and Mum had the wedding all planned out.’

  Harold looked at him in disbelief. ‘You seriously want us to believe that shit? What time zone do you think this is? 1936?’

  ‘It’s the truth. When Peta and I arrived at the house, she was there. In her true flair for drama, she threw herself into my arms as if that was her rightful place to be. It was a pretty convincing act.’ He smiled derisively. ‘Anyway, by the time I’d gathered my wits, Peta was halfway down the road and I couldn’t chase her because my bloody leg had gone into a spasm. She won’t answer my calls. Where is she? I went up to her room, but it was empty.’

  Harold muttered some colourful words. Mark grinned and patted his shoulder. Looking at Jaime he asked, ‘Would you have understood? Put yourself in her shoes, mate. If Maria was as convincing as you say, you would also have been down the street in two seconds flat. So where is Maria now?’

  Jaime brooded into his empty glass. ‘I’m dropping her back at the airport in Perth tomorrow. She’s staying with Mum. And I, on the other hand, am sleeping here at the hotel, just in case she shows up in my bedroom,’ he said to Mark.