by KT Strange
A part of me couldn’t be happy about it, even if this was what I’d always wanted. There was a gaping hole in our pack that Max had left, and it was like she haunted our every step and every mile we drove.
The guys felt it. We didn’t say much to Darcy about it, because Max had been her best friend, like a real sister to her, and I knew she was burying her feelings over losing Max the same way we had.
And another part of me? The success didn’t feel real. When I logged into Twitter after a radio appearance and saw our name trending in that area… it felt surreal. I thought massive success was supposed to be accompanied by a swelling of ego, but all I felt was unworthy. Who were we to hear from fans that we’d changed their lives? We hadn’t even been able to protect our phoenix. We’d barely been able to protect Darcy, our mate.
“You alright?” Charlie’s hand came down on my shoulder, and I glanced down at the shorter wolf.
“Fine,” I said, stretching my arms up as I pulled away. We’d stopped for a rest and some food on the home run to Seattle up the I5. My body ached from long days in the van, and not having enough space to sleep all together like we preferred. It hurt, like a physical thing, to have Darcy curled up with one of us, but not between us all. I was ready, mostly, to get back to Wolfe’s place in the city, so we could all be in the same bed, the way it felt natural and right.
“You’ve been gloomy as fuck, and you’re rubbing off on Darcy,” Charlie said, squinting at me. “You wanna talk about it before it gets worse?”
“It feels like nothing is real right now,” I admitted. “We have everything we wanted, including things we thought were beyond us.” I glanced away and he followed my gaze to where Darcy stood, wrapped up in Cash’s arms. She leaned into him, licking away at an ice cream cone he’d bought her from a food truck at the rest stop. The sun melted down over her, turning her newly-dyed curls an even brighter aqua.
“All we’ve ever done is our best,” Charlie said. “But nobody gets a happy ending, not really. We’ve gotten the happiest that we could hope for.”
An uneasy feeling in my gut turned over.
“It just doesn’t feel…”
“Right.” Ace walked up behind us and we both turned. “None of it feels right. I’m waiting for the boot to drop, and crush us.” The youngest of our pack looked worried, a frown creasing his forehead. “You ever feel like it was just… too easy?”
“Too easy?” I spat the words in shock. “We lost Max.”
“I’m not saying it wasn’t painful,” Ace said, holding up a hand. “I’m just saying… after those witches being the bogeyman in our lives forever and a day… they up and died on us pretty damn fast.”
“Don’t go borrowing trouble,” Charlie said. “They’re dead. You saw what was left of that building. A lotta rubble. The rest of them, the ones that weren’t there, got the message.”
“Or did they? What do you think those hunters were after, coming for us?” Ace’s words troubled me and I huffed out an annoyed breath of air.
“I think they were exactly what we thought, leftovers from a regime that’s dead and buried,” I said, agreeing with Charlie’s sentiment.
Ace shrugged, awkward.
“I’m going to get ice cream,” he muttered, and then walked toward where Darcy pulled away from Cash to embrace him. He leaned down to kiss her.
“That’s going to stop in a few days,” Charlie commented.
“What?”
“The public displays of affection,” he said with a sigh. “As much as I hate it, the witch’s world never accepted us, and the mundane world isn’t going to like us being, y’know, one big happy family, either.”
I coughed and shot him a look.
“Don’t look at me like that. You’re the lucky one. Your relationship was cemented from the beginning, so out in public, you better treat her right.”
“Shouldn’t have waited so long then,” I said. “Maybe it’d be you, instead of me, snuggling her in front of the fans.”
Charlie made a face, and I wondered if it was gonna get stuck that way.
“Let’s just get this shit-show on the road.”
Our return to the label was bigger than I thought I’d be.
“Surprise!!!!” The entire label staff had turned out, there were balloons everywhere, and a huge cake with our faces on it. Even Eli was taken aback, looking startled as we entered into the boardroom for what we thought would be a normal meeting with Willa, Troy, and Gem. Staffers I’d met in passing were there, right down to the mailroom guy.
Across the far end of the conference room was a banner that read GOLD RECORD CERTIFIED. My heart skipped a beat. Half a million sold or streamed? Seriously? I turned to Willa, who stood near us by the door. She smiled, her face practically glowing.
“You guys were out on the road, so you didn’t know,” she said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Sorry we kept it a secret from you. We just got the word you were getting certified for your last album.”
I swallowed hard, the emotions inside of me confusing and overwhelming.
“I just can’t believe it,” I said, my voice low.
Behind me, Charlie pounded on my back, and then I was wrapped up in hugs from the entire pack. The only one who hung back was Darcy, watching us with a careful expression on her face. Immediately I knew what was going through her head, that this was our win, not hers, and she didn’t want to make it all about her.
“C’mere.” I held out a hand for her, and Ace moved to make room. Darcy shook her head. “C’mon, Darce,” I murmured. Her eyelashes fluttered and she sighed, folding into my arms, right where she belonged. Cash hugged her from behind, and for a moment it was only the six of us, the rest of the room fading away as we held onto one another tight.
A year ago, if you’d have asked me where we’d be? I’d have said still playing basement bars, and staying in shitty motels, touring in a beat-up old car barely able to tow our gear.
“The men of the hour,” Troy Granville said, his voice booming throughout the room, making reality break through to us, and finally forcing us to part around Darcy. She mumbled some excuse, and darted away from me, clearly avoiding Troy.
We’d need to talk about that later. None of us wanted to get in the way of her finishing her degree, even if she’d convinced herself that really wasn’t what she wanted anymore. It would matter to her later, and I didn’t want her to have any regrets.
“It’s safe to say we’ve recouped a couple times over,” Charlie said as he shook Troy’s hand, who laughed, slapping his stomach.
“That’s why I like you, Gage, you’re always interested in the money side of things before anything else. I knew you would be a success for that very reason,” Troy said, before casting a wide smile at the rest of us. “I still can’t tell you two apart.” Troy’s eyes bounced between me and Eli.
“Just ask them to sing, then you’ll know,” Cash said, elbowing Eli hard with a laugh. I rolled my eyes. Eli could sing just fine. He preferred to not be at the front of the stage, which suited me perfectly. I liked the spotlight.
“Willa,” I said, turning to her where she hovered at my elbow. I searched her face for some sign of what had gone down with Jake… some trace of sadness, or the hint of… well, anything.
Instead she smiled at me and wrapped her arms tightly around me.
“I am so incredibly proud of you.”
“I- Thank you. Hey, where’s-”
“Gem’s on her way, she was delayed in traffic,” Willa said, then muttered, “thank god. She’s driving me up the wall, wanting so much work done and all these resources redirected to Phoenixcry. Not that you guys don’t deserve it-” she paused. “Just, we have other artists, you know? She kinda forgets that.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. She shook her head.
“Don’t be. My problem, not yours. This party is all about celebrating your success! So enjoy it. Don’t get too drunk. Actually… do. Drink a little something on my behalf.” H
er eyes cast downward, at her belly.
So it was real. It hadn’t been just a ploy of Creston’s to get Darcy out into the middle of nowhere. Willa was actually pregnant.
“Should I congratulate you?” I asked. She grimaced.
“Well, the father skipped town, and I haven’t heard from him, so… maybe you can offer to do some babysitting instead,” she said. Guilt ate at me, but it’s not like we could tell her what had happened to Jake. I don’t even think I could explain it properly.
Willa’s shoulders hunched; she looked so miserable. I had to wrap her up in a hug. She leaned into it and sighed.
“You’re gonna be okay,” I said quietly.
“I know, it just…. I wish I had space to not be okay right now,” she said back. I glanced over at Cash, who was standing and talking to one of the engineers. We exchanged a meaningful glance, and he nodded once before turning to look for Charlie. If we had our say, Willa wouldn’t go through her pregnancy by herself. She’d always had our best interests at heart when it came to the band and our relationship with the record label. Now we’d protect her interests. Werewolves usually had a soft spot for babies and pregnant women… but single pregnant women? They were our kryptonite. No mother should be left on her own to raise her young.
Willa gave me a tight squeeze, then pulled away.
“I’ve got to go check on the caterers. Troy was hounding them earlier for crab cakes, and I’m not sure if they’ve forgiven us,” she said with a smile and a wave as she wound her way through the crowd.
“How’s she holding up?” Elias was by my side before I could even look for him.
“Pregnant and miserable,” I said quietly. “Can’t help but feel partly responsible.”
“You weren’t the one who knocked her up,” Eli replied. “Don’t be owning that bastard’s guilt, he was a dog to any woman who crossed his path. I’m not gonna say Willa shoulda’ known better, because a lady’s allowed to make her own choices, but he should’ve been more careful. Like an idiot, he wasn’t-”
“Nothing he did was worthy of dying how he did,” I cut him off, and he growled at me.
“You serious? Do you not remember how he treated Darcy? What about the rumors that were flying around about him?”
“No, no, you’re right,” I said with a sigh. “Just… yeah. He’s gone now, and I can’t help feeling like we’re somehow partially to blame for it. He was a mundane who got mixed up in our-”
“Boys!” The cry had us looking up as one, and Eli tensed at the sight of Gem as she sashayed into the room, dumping her velvet coat on one of the promotions staff and nearly taking him down with the weight of it. “Mwahhhh!” She grabbed me by the face and air kissed both my cheeks, before sinking her talons into Eli’s jaw and doing the same to him. “Where’s that darling Wesley? And Charlie?”
She turned the wrong direction just as Charlie and Cash escaped out the door, the faithless bastards. Ace was caught in her stare though, and like a vacuum or an alien tractor beam, she reeled him in.
“Wesley, my absolute most darling boy,” she crowed, and he gave us a helpless, desperate look as she pawed at him.
“Oh. My. Lord,” someone muttered beside me.
“Who let It in?” someone else lamented. Before Ace could squeak in Gem’s tight squeeze, Darcy was there, prying the two of them apart like some golden spatula goddess.
“Gem,” Darcy said, a bright smile on her face. “We were just talking about you in the van on the way back to Seattle, thank you so much for everything you’ve been doing for the band.” She pointed up at the banner hanging across the room. “I don’t think that’d be there if it weren’t for you.”
Under the flattery, Gem nearly purred, and beside me Eli groaned under his breath.
“Love to hate her, we’d hate to lose her,” I whispered to him, and he gave a minute nod in agreement. It was true. She was a bit of a crazy bitch, but she was our crazy bitch.
“It has been my absolute pleasure. I haven’t seen such an up and coming band like Phoenixcry in a decade, and, where’s Troy-” She paused, looking for Mr. Granville, who was trying to pretend he was one with the wallpaper. “There you are, Troy, get over here, please tell me you’ve told them the good news-”
“Good news?” Ace glanced at Darcy, who glanced at me and Eli. Troy’s expression went from hnnnnnnnugh to relieved.
“We got you a spot on a short tour of Europe,” he said, “did I forget to mention that?”
Darcy’s mouth dropped open about the same time as mine did.
“Europe, are you serious?” she asked.
“Holy-,” Ace said, and then cleared his throat. “Sorry for the swear, Gem.”
She laughed and hauled him in for another overly-tight hug.
“Never you mind about that, dear boy. Enjoy your night tonight, but don’t party too hard… you’ll be flying out to London tomorrow, bright and early!”
I turned to Eli, feeling a sense of relief. Europe. It’d be new for all of us. A total change of scenery. It was exactly what we needed right then, and something special for us all.
Eli’s brows were pulled together.
“What?” I asked. “You don’t look thrilled.”
“You know what’s the one thing you really fucking need when you traveling out of the country, and the one thing that we’ve never been able to get because, hey, we don’t exactly have proper documentation?” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Passports.”
3
Darcy
“You guys are adorable, and you don’t need to worry about it,” I’d said when we’d all reconvened in Wolfe’s penthouse apartment later that night. We needed to pack for the last-minute tour and panic about it at the same time we celebrated. “Let’s just say, you have a unique set of skills, and it’s going to get you past any border guard or airline staff who might want to see your passport.”
“What?” Cash was in the middle of folding shirts, and he frowned at me. “What are you talking about?”
I gave him a guilty smile.
“Wellllll. When I kinda… when I was younger, and stupider, and I ran away from this band full of hot werewolves that I was falling madly in love with, I ended up having to take a plane without my ID. I just kinda… commanded them to let me board. Y’know. Like Star Wars, without the hand waving, and not making a huge big deal out of it. I just said, ‘You’ve already seen my ID,’ and they were like, ‘Oh, you’re right,’ and I went on through.”
The guys all stopped what they were doing to stare at me. Charlie blinked first.
“You’re dangerous,” he said, and then grinned. “That’s genius.”
“I told you she’d figure out a way,” Finn said to Eli. “And you doubted.”
“You had doubts about me?” I asked Eli, not able to keep from smiling at the way he visibly squirmed.
“Not doubts,” he said, “just… I had concerns. We never tried to go overseas after we came back from the war because… who was gonna believe us that we were some damn well-preserved octogenarians? And then we got really old. When you’ve been around for a century, it looks a little weird on your paperwork.”
“It’s gonna be fuckin’ different now,” Cash sighed, tossing a last t-shirt in his bag. The guys were all bringing duffel bags, and nothing I could say would convince them otherwise. Never mind that we were traveling halfway across the world, and that it would probably be nice to have more than a handful of t-shirts to wear onstage. Oh well, we could use our per diems to buy new clothes if we needed to, and just eat ramen packets or something. I heard England had amazing snack food, and I was looking forward to trying some of it.
A pang squeezed my heart. Max would have been totally into this kind of trip. I’d have found a way to get her on it with me. I shook away the prickle of grief and started sorting through my clothes to bring. I hated that it kept sneaking up on me when I least expected it. Maybe it would get better with time, but for now I couldn’t go a single day without mourning her lo
ss, and the life she could’ve had with me and the guys.
That reminded me-
“Has anyone talked to Wolfe and told him we’re going?” I asked softly. Five pairs of eyes looked at me.
“I’ll do it,” Charlie said before anyone else could volunteer. “I want to check in on Frank anyway.” He left the room, fishing his cellphone out of his pocket.
Ace caught me around the shoulders as I watched Charlie go.
“This is going to be the trip that totally changes our lives,” he promised me, “we’re going to Europe.”
“It’s not that great,” Cash grumbled.
“You’re only saying that 'cause last time we were there, you had to wash the mud outta your teeth every damn day,” Finn retorted with a laugh.
“I think I’ve had enough of my life changing,” I admitted to Ace, keeping my voice low. “I think… for now? I just want things to stay the same for awhile.”
Ace gave me a weak smile and then bent, kissing me slowly. I leaned into it and let him hold me tight, taking all the comfort I needed from him in that moment.
Wolfe may have been mostly irritating, and smug all of the time, but when Charlie told him of our little plan to use The Force through customs and border patrol, we received a parcel the next morning from our kind and well-connected benefactor. Six passports, pristine, listed in our names with our photos (how he got them, I have no idea). There was a note tucked into the package, telling us that we shouldn’t be stupid, and ask next time we needed help leaving the country.
“Awww,” Cash said as he flipped open his passport, the spine stiff. “I was looking forward to pulling one over on those snooty-ass border guys.”
I tried not to roll my eyes, and sighed with relief when we all made it through security with no one the wiser that our passports weren’t legit. Then it was just waiting out our time before our flight.
“So,” Finn sidled up to me as I looked at a perfume display in the Duty Free shop. “You wanna join the mile high club with me?”