by KT Strange
“We’ll get more security,” Eli said. “And nothing sells records like a scandal.”
“Now you sound like Cash,” Finn replied, with a low chuckle.
“We were never promised an easy life, from the moment we were born,” Ace’s tone was steady, almost confident. “This is just our next fight. We’ll win this one too. Don’t stress it, Charlie. You’re not doing this on your own. The pack’ll do it together, face all of this, protect Darcy, together.”
Charlie sighed, the tension going out of him, his muscles loose as he finally relaxed. I watched Eli lie behind him, an arm slinging over his packmate in an affectionate, close embrace. It warmed my heart as Charlie melted into the touch, taking visible comfort from the other man.
This was what pack was for. Loving each other, supporting each other; it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever been a part of, and I almost wished that more people could live like we did.
“We got this,” Eli said. Charlie nodded in response. “Let’s sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning,” Eli murmured to me.
“Well, I’m waiting for my orange soda,” Ace said, making all of us laugh. Finn groaned.
“I love you, idiot,” he said to the youngest of our pack, pulling him down for a cuddle. Ace grumbled, squirming.
“Let go,” he said.
“You guys going to sleep without me?” Cash was back, arms full of water bottles and Ace’s promised orange soda. I shifted over, making space for him as he crawled over the bed. I took a water bottle and sighed after drinking down a few mouthfuls. Darkness fell in the room as Charlie’s phone screen went black. There was a pop and fizz as Ace opened his drink, the candied scent of oranges filling the air.
Warm skin surrounded me, several hands belonging to different wolves resting all along my body. Sleep was finally calling me, and I was ready to answer. Nothing ever seemed to come easy for us, but, together, we could handle anything. Whatever tomorrow would bring, I was ready for it, as long as I had the pack at my side. How bad could it get, anyway?
10
Darcy
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Charlie stared at the newspaper stand, his eyes wide.
“C’mon,” Eli growled, grabbing me by the hand. “Let’s go.”
I was staring too, my own face giving me a gimlet eye right back. Multiple copies of my face, static and unmoving, peered out from numerous newspaper covers. It was lurid, my lips obviously photoshopped to make them bigger. They’d taken a photo of me and Finn and cropped Finn out. The word PHOENIXWHORE was written in large letters over my head.
“Darcy,” Eli said. I jerked and glanced up at him. His mouth was thin, his eyes sparkling with fury.
We’d woken up in London, bright and early, and piled out of the bus to go find breakfast. We could do that without security because it was so early, and we were anonymous in the big city. It was just me and my guys, holding hands and trying not to worry about what the day would bring. Too bad our story had been picked up by a number of tabloids that aimed for the lowest common denominator of journalistic integrity. Papers that didn’t care about the lives they ruined, as long as they sold their copies and ad space.
“Maybe we should be grateful they didn’t photoshop bat wings and fangs onto you,” Ace said as we walked away. Finn shouldered his way up to my side to shield me from having to look at the news rack.
“What?” Eli frowned at Ace.
“Don’t you know Bat Baby? I think it’s the National Enquirer that constantly publishes this obviously not-real baby that’s been made up to look like a bat-human hybrid. Honestly, that’s not at all what bat-shifters look like-”
“Wait, there are bat-shifters?” I asked, needing to think about something, anything, other than the un-asked-for publicity I was experiencing. “Are there shifters of every animal?”
“He’s fucking with you, there aren’t bat-shifters,” Eli muttered, tugging me close into his side.
“Oh.” I was a little disappointed about that. Bats were cute.
“You don’t look all that concerned, babe; you okay?” Cash asked as he walked a few steps behind me. The guys seemed like they wanted to surround me as we walked, like they could keep me safe that way. I wished they wouldn’t. Paps would just get a photo of me in the middle of all of them, leading to more dirty insinuations about our sex lives.
If they were lucky, they’d get it halfway right.
“I’m fine,” I said, pulling my hand away from Eli’s grip and shoving my fingers in my coat pockets. There was a stiff breeze that smelled like rain on the air. The possibility of needing to stop for an umbrella was on the horizon. “Honestly,” I frowned and paused, thinking about how I felt. “I guess I don’t feel invincible, but, at the same time, I do. I’m not facing this by myself. I have you guys.”
“Ooh, look, donuts,” Charlie said. Ace made an appreciative noise as we walked past a little bakery, it’s sparkling-clean window filled with trays of fresh-baked donuts. I inhaled.
“Donuts sound amazing,” I said, turning to the shop’s door. “Nothing about this can’t be cured with a bit of sugar.” Finn reached for the door, holding it open for me, and I smiled up at him. Donuts would make the guys feel better.
I scanned the band’s main Twitter account, checking out all the mentions. Most of it was positive, and it seemed like the negative press the band was getting in the major media was just pushing the fans to defend their heroes even more staunchly online.
“I wonder if we could add some shows in Scotland,” I mused. “I know we have a few days off coming up.” I glanced at Charlie, who was opening up the tour schedule on his phone. Cash had his arm across the back of my chair, and he shifted closer.
“Do you want another donut, Darce?” he asked. I wrinkled my nose.
“I dunno, pretty full.”
“You should eat,” he encouraged me. “Stress needs food.”
“Oh, you’re not trying to do that,” Finn cut in, staring pointedly at Cash. Cash blinked, the picture of innocence.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cash said, pulling a donut from the box we’d gotten and setting it on the napkin in front of me. Eli snorted, leaning back in his chair and making it groan from the strain of holding up all of his muscles.
“He totally is,” Ace said. I glanced at him and smiled. He had white powdered sugar on his lips. I reached over to dust it off, earning a grin from him. “Thanks.”
“What’s he doing?” I asked, picking up the donut Cash had given me. Eli’s muscles were just that distracting. I paused, the sweet pastry halfway to my mouth as five pairs of intense eyes stared at me. “What?”
“He’s making sure you have enough food,” Eli said.
“Uh, okay?” The donut was an inch from my mouth when the looks the guys gave me got… brighter somehow, expectant, almost. I set the donut down, and I swear Cash deflated. “Okay, what the fuck does that mean, ‘making sure I have enough food’? Oh my god, is this a mating thing?” I hissed the last few words, staring daggers at Cash. His cheeks turned pink.
“It’s nothing,” he mumbled.
“Bullshit.”
“He’s trying to make sure you can get pregnant and carry a litter,” Ace said, ever helpful and honest. I coughed.
“What?!”
“Here we go,” Finn said, whistling under his breath.
“Well, there goes my peace and tranquility for the day,” Charlie said. Ace punched him in the shoulder in retaliation. “Ouch!”
“This isn’t about your feelings, asshole, it’s about Darcy.”
“Kiss ass,” Charlie shot back. The two glared at each other as I tried to remember how to breathe. In, out, inflate the lungs, try not to burn up from embarrassment and also melt, because… okay, feeding me donuts to get me pregnant was kind of cute.
“Children,” Eli said, his single word quelling the argument like a splash of cold water.
“Okay, so, I’m going to assume this is some sort of werewolf pr
eternatural habit thing, so I’m not offended by your donut thing,” I said after a minute of my brain’s synapses firing off. “But I’m just gonna say this once: I don’t want babies.”
Five sets of eyes grew incredibly disappointed, but they worked hard to hide it. God, they were cute. They needed to not be, because I had to be stern. We had careers to think about, and dragging a baby on tour was not part of my plan.
“Yet,” I amended. I hated crushing their dreams. Mothering was… not for me. The thought of being responsible for a living creature gave me hives.
Cash opened his mouth, and I held up a hand.
“Hang on. I’m not done. I don’t know what your sex ed was like growing up, but I’m just going to point out that science says I’m still human, not a wolf, and it doesn’t matter how many donuts you feed me, I’m not going to have a litter. Okay?”
“Says you. A guy can hope,” Cash said the words quietly. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he shut his mouth. He stared intently down at his lap. Were werewolves that like dogs in that respect? That they avoided eye contact when really uncomfortable? I needed to do some research.
“This is so weird and cute, but I’m gonna eat this donut now, and I’d rather not have an audience of baby-crazy werewolves staring at me while I do,” I said, biting into my donut. An explosion of sweetness hit my tongue, with the sharp edge of home-made raspberry jam in the middle.
“Can’t help it, sweetheart,” Finn said, his voice a little rough with emotion. “We never thought we’d live to see the day we had a mate, and now here you are, making all our dreams come true.”
A funny feeling clenched in my stomach, like nostalgia, or something similar to it… like, I could feel how close they’d come to never being with me. It was almost a panic, a fear of what could have come to pass. Life was fragile and uncertain, ours doubly so. I had to set my donut down and take a moment.
“I’m lucky to have you too,” I whispered, and sighed, reaching for Cash’s hand. I squeezed it tight. “But no baby talk, at least for now… okay?”
Cash leaned in close and kissed me, chasing the taste of sugar from my lips.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart, we’ll ease up, no pressure. It’s just hard, especially after a rut, to not think about the future with you.”
“Well, right now, our future is not pissing off Gem too much, so she keeps fighting the fight for us. And it’s you guys getting on stage and playing your hearts and souls out.” I tapped him on the nose, and then grabbed the remainder of my donut, taking a big bite. It really was amazing. England knew how to do donuts right. I didn’t have much good to say about its gossipy tabloids, but that was just… whatever. I tried not to think about it.
“Honestly,” Finn said, “if it weren’t for those stupid, fucking not-journalists, I’d still be thinking about getting our girl back to bed, and fuck everything else.” He glanced at the racks of baked goods. “Do you think I should get another donut?”
“You’re gonna get fat, and then the fangirls aren’t going to want to screw you anymore,” Cash said, smirking. I groaned.
“Don’t give him a complex,” I scolded as Finn glared at Cash.
“What, you jealous you’re not a golden adonis like me? We could bleach your hair. That might work for you, although those caterpillars you call eyebrows are gonna give your natural color away. The rug wouldn’t match the drapes either, and you’d scare off Darce from sleeping with you.”
I sighed.
“Alright, I’m going to go shopping,” I said, pushing myself up from my chair. I needed to commit to some serious retail therapy. And, for maybe the first time in my life, I had my own money that I’d earned. I knew the guys would take care of me financially, but I wanted to make my own money. All my life, I’d fought for freedom from my family, from what our powers represented, from the idea that a woman had to get married and was reliant on her husband for everything… there was still a part of me that felt it was important I bring my own contribution to the pack. I was getting a small cut of the merchandise revenue, something that Willa had negotiated for me.
I had actually mother-flipping cash in my mother-flipping wallet. It was a good feeling. Especially because I intended to be very irresponsible with said cash. There was nothing like spending a bunch of money to chase your shitty feelings away. It was either shopping or having sex, and, given the guys and their apparent instincts screaming at them to knock me up, spending all my money with reckless abandon seemed… less reckless.
“You shouldn’t go off on your own,” Eli said, standing up, head and shoulders above me. I sighed and leaned into him.
“I’m not the one with fangirls drooling all over me at every turn,” I pointed out. Finn and Eli exchanged a look, and Finn shrugged.
“He’s just gonna tail you if you don’t let him go with you,” Finn said. I glanced up at Eli, and he gave me a smirk that had my belly quivering.
“Fine,” I grumbled, “but you have to carry my bags, and I intend to take a long-ass time in every store that smells like vanilla beans.” Eli rolled his eyes, but the grin tugging on the corner of his mouth meant he didn’t even care.
It lifted my spirits. All my life, I thought I’d eventually be out in the world on my own. I’d never expected that someone, or five someones, would care so much about me that every day they would choose to be with me, no matter the situation. Fighting dragons, or hunters, or putting up with overly-perfumed shops for me. You know, the important things.
“Mind if I tag along?” Cash asked. I couldn’t contain my smile, being bookended by the two of them, one blond, one brunet.
“Works for me,” I said, leaning up for a soft kiss. Cash’s mouth was warm and steady on mine. He sighed when I came down on my heels, his hand finding mine.
“Let’s go get you some pretties,” he said, looking over my head to grin at Eli.
Shortly after we stepped into the first shop, I realized my independent woman stance wasn’t going to work, when I had two burly werewolves intent on spending their money on me. I’d found a weird sweater—bright pink with a huge pyramid eye on it—something so ugly it was almost attractive, and the price tag was enough to give me sticker shock.
But I was buying my way out of my bad feelings, so the tacky sweater was going into my wardrobe. Cash raised an eyebrow at me.
“That?” he asked. “You’re buying that?”
“Don’t clothing-shame her, idiot,” Eli said, giving him a gentle shove. Cash snorted, turning to glare at his packmate.
I ignored them both as they grumbled at each other in low voices. There was the most excellent display of novelty socks, and I was running out of pairs that were matched. It was bad enough living in one place, where I’d maybe have a hope of wearing matched socks, but traveling as much as we did, I’d lost so many socks. It was sort of like a sacrificial offering to the hotel gods.
“What about these?” I asked, holding up a pair of men’s socks. They were black and white, with the word DADDY emblazoned on them.
“Why would…” Eli quirked his head to the side, confused. “Daddy?” Cash elbowed him with a quiet laugh.
“Don’t fucking ask that in public, pal,” he said, and Eli’s cheeks went pink under his tan. He rarely blushed, but as he stared at me, his eyes blazed bright blue with the reddening of his skin.
“Yeah,” I said, with a smirk, “don’t ask.” I shoved them at Cash, who took them with a grin that matched mine, even as Eli called us heathens under his breath.
“Never should’ve let you come,” he said to Cash. “You’re a damn bad influence.”
“Moi?” Cash’s hand fluttered to his chest, and he blinked slowly, the picture of innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Jesus.” Eli stood by the cash register, the tips of his ears pink. He eyed up the displays, like we weren’t teasing him at all. I pressed into Cash’s side and looked at the socks in his hand.
“Do you think those would fit Ace?” I
asked. He laughed.
“Don’t even try. I think you might actually hurt his feelings. He’s too inexperienced.” Cash’s expression turned intense. “I thought you weren’t going there.”
“Where?”
“Kid talk.”
“Yeah, I’m not,” I said, and his smile spread. “Just playing around.”
“Tease,” he whispered into my ear, his breath hot, making me shiver. I had to close my eyes.
“Can’t help it. I’m just being myself.”
“Yeah, well, being yourself is gonna get your ass swatted, if you’re not careful,” Cash promised as he put my items down in front of the girl at the register. She was shadowed by a gawky looking guy, whose “In Training” badge gave a good reason for why he looked so uncomfortable.
Or maybe it was Cash’s louder-than-it-should-have-been sex talk.
Gawky Guy was staring at me, so I did my best to ignore him.
“Did you find everything alright?” Our checkout girl was all teeth as she smiled, quick fingers flicking over my sweater to fold it.
“Just the ugliest sweater in the fuckin’ universe and a pair of weird socks, apparently,” Eli grumbled, pulling out his wallet.
“I said I was paying for myself.” I put a hand on his wrist and glared up at him. Gawky Guy coughed under his breath.
“You don’t honestly expect us to let you pay for everything, right?” Cash asked.
“I worked hard for that money,” I protested.
“Yeah, on your back,” Gawky Guy said, so quietly that I wasn’t quite sure that I’d heard him right. Eli moved so fast that he was nearly around the counter before Cash could grab him, wrapping an arm around his chest.
“The fuck you say?” Eli snarled, and the girl at the register stumbled backward, eyes wide with shock.
“Leave it,” Cash hissed.
The trainee made a high-pitched noise, staring at Eli, as the girl turned to him and snapped, “Jesus, Brandewith, you can’t even keep a civil tongue in your mouth for a minute!” She whirled to me, her face pale. “I am so sorry, miss, he’s new-”