by L. Wilder
“I get that you’re worried, but he’s a good kid, Frankie.”
“I know. I just want to do everything I can to keep him that way, and it’s not exactly easy. It seems the boy is set on driving me to madness.”
“More than likely just a phase. It’ll pass.”
“I’m not so sure.” She lowered her head and sighed. “He’s been through so much. His father isn’t exactly the best guy.”
“Yeah, he told me a little about that.” I leaned back on the sofa as I mumbled, “Seems he and I have that in common. My ol’ man was a real gem, too.”
“Your father was abusive to you, too?”
“You could say that.”
“I’m so sorry. How old were you when it started?”
“Him knocking me around?” When she nodded, I answered, “I guess I was around nine, maybe ten, but that was after years of watching him beat on my mother. Bruises and broken bones were pretty much the norm for us.”
“Oh, God. That’s awful. How did you get through it?”
“You really want to know?”
“Only if you feel comfortable talking about it.”
“Alright, but be forewarned. It’s not a pretty story.”
The memories of my childhood weren’t difficult to recall. With just a blink, they’d come flooding back one after the next, like water into a sinking ship, but I was hesitant to share. Frankie looked at me like no woman ever had—like I was someone who actually mattered to her. I feared once she’d heard what had happened to me, that look in her eyes would fade. It didn’t. In fact, it seemed to grow even stronger. I inhaled a deep breath as I told her, “By the time I was in high school, I’d learned to block out the pain. I barely even felt it when he’d burn me with the butt of his cigarette.”
“Oh, Roman. That must’ve been so awful for you.”
“It wasn’t easy, but I’m stronger because of it.” I chuckled as a specific memory came rushing to my mind. “There was one time I almost got the best of him. I was about sixteen, and he was bitchin’ at Mom over something stupid like she’d parked her car too close to his truck. He had her by the hair and was about to slam her head into the wall when I charged him, tackled him at his side, and slammed his ass to the ground. I’d caught him by surprise and was able to get in a few good blows before he kicked me off. I was about to lay back into him when he picked up a knife and flung the damn thing at me. Landed right in my thigh. Stunned me more than anything, but it gave Dad the advantage, and he ended up beatin’ the hell out of me. I was out of commission for several days over that one.”
“I don’t even know how to respond to that.” Tears filled the corner of her eyes as she muttered, “It’s just so unfair. I hate you had to go through that.”
“It wasn’t just me. Mom and my younger brother Madden got their fair share of it, too.”
“What about your mother? Did she ever try to leave?”
“Nope. She was determined to stick it out.” I shrugged. “She always said she’d stayed there for us. Said she couldn’t make it on her own.”
“So, there were no family or friends she could turn to?”
“Her folks died when she was in her twenties. Figured that’s one of the reasons she ended up marrying Dad. She didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“That must’ve been really hard on her.”
“Didn’t have to be.” I’d never really talked about my mother or my childhood with anyone, not even my brothers. Never really saw any reason to, but there was something about Frankie that had me opening up in ways I never had before. “She could’ve left him.”
“It’s not always that easy.”
“You left.”
“Yeah, I did, but I had my sister and my parents. And even with their help, it was still one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. It’s still scary. I worry every day that I’m not doing enough, that I’m never going to be able to give the boys what they need, and they’ll end up resenting me for it.” Her eyes met mine as she told me, “It would’ve been so much harder without my family there to support me. I don’t think I could’ve done it. Without them, I probably would’ve just stayed and hoped we’d get through it—just like your mother did.”
“I don’t believe that.” I shook my head. “You would’ve found a way.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” She reached over and placed her hand on my knee. “I don’t know your mother. I don’t know what kind of person she was or if her heart was in the right place, but it’s clear to me that she did something right.”
“Not sure I’m following.”
“She taught you to be a good man.” Her words took me by surprise. I couldn’t believe how wrong she had it. I was about to argue when she said, “You stopped and helped Sean and I when we were stranded on that dark highway alone. Then, you came and helped us fix that tire, even taught Corry how to use that bubble trick. And you listened to him. Really listened. He told you things he’s never told anyone, not his friends or his counselors, and it meant a lot to him that he could share that with you. It meant a lot to me as well. I know firsthand it takes a special kind of man to reach a child like that.”
“I’m not a good man, Frankie. I’m far from it.”
“You’re wrong. There’s a great deal of good in you.”
“No, Frankie. There’s not. My father made sure of that.” My reaction to my father’s abuse changed over the years. When it first started, I was timid and scared. I would cry and plead with him to stop, but as I grew older, the fear faded and anger set in. I no longer tried to run from him. I didn’t beg or plead for his mercy. I no longer cared if I lived or died, so I just took whatever he had to dish out. “He’s the reason I’m the man I am today.”
“I think you give your father too much credit.” She withdrew her hand from my knee and looked me dead in the eye as she said, “He hasn’t made you into the man you are today. You did that all on your own.”
I suddenly felt like I was getting my own personal counseling session—something I didn’t ask for and certainly didn’t want. I didn’t try to hide my annoyance as I grumbled, “Is that right?”
“The way I see it, you did whatever it took to survive.” She shrugged casually. “I get it. I’ve been there, too, but life isn’t just about surviving. You have to take chances and be willing to get hurt.”
“So, how’s all that working out for you?”
A bashful smile crossed her face as she told me, “I took a chance with you when I called and asked you to the coffee shop. That night paid off, but the next time I might not end up so lucky. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep trying.”
She studied me for a moment, waiting for my response. When I didn’t give her one, she stood, and her smile was all but gone as she whispered, “I think it’s time for me to go.”
Damn. I could tell by that distant look in her eye I’d fucked up. Frankie was everything a man could possibly want in one beautiful, curvy, sexy-as-hell package. She was smart and compassionate. The woman had to know I was the last fucking thing she needed in her life. I was damaged goods. I was a broken soul with a heart encased in iron. There were times when I’d lose my balance, and I’d get tangled up in my knotted past, but there was something about her that made me think she could untangle those knots and set me free.
I knew I couldn’t just let her walk out without saying or doing something. If I did, I’d lose whatever chance I might have with her. I stood and stepped towards her as I admitted, “I’m trying here, but I’m just not good at this, Frankie. I don’t know if I can be the man you need me to be.”
A warm smile crossed her beautiful face as she placed the palm of her hand on my chest. “I’m not asking you to change, Roman.”
“Then, what do you want from me?”
“I want you to take a chance.”
With that, she lifted up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to mine, kissing me softly. My hands immediately dropped to her waist, inching her closer as I kissed her back. Damn.
This woman had me twisted into knots. I’d never hungered for a woman like I did for her. It was all I could think about as my tongue delved deeper in her mouth. Our tender moment quickly grew possessive and demanding, and our hands became frantic and full of need, leaving no question as to what we were both feeling. My mouth roamed over the curve of her neck as I whispered, “Stay.”
“I can’t.” Flushed with desire, she took a step back, breaking free from our embrace. “I need to get back.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Remember that over the next couple of days. It might help you decide on whether or not you’re willing to take that chance.”
She gave me a quick wink, then turned and walked out of the house, leaving me alone to determine my next move. Apparently, she didn’t get that I’d already made up my mind. I wanted her. I wanted all of her. It was a risk, one I hadn’t dared to take before, but if there was even the slightest chance Frankie Sullivan could be mine, it was a risk I had to take.
I was tempted to go after her, but I had to get back to the clubhouse to meet up with Hawk and Menace. I finished gathering my things and threw them in my saddlebag. When I made it back to the clubhouse, Hawk and Menace were waiting for me in the parking lot. We all got in the SUV and headed over to Smokey’s to start our shift. I’d like to say we found Grant on that first night, but we didn’t. Hell, we watched that fucking place for days, but there was no sign of him. After being there for three days, we were all starting to feel a little restless. Just as I was starting to give up hope, Hawk leaned forward and squinted his eyes. “Hold up. Is that him?”
I, too, leaned forward and was pleased to find that Hawk was right. Grant had just come out of Smokey’s and was walking in our direction. “Yeah, that’s him.”
“How’d we miss him going in?” Bear complained. “We’ve been sitting here all fucking night.”
“He must’ve gone in the back. Doesn’t matter now. We’ve got him.”
“Yeah, we need to wait and see where he’s headed.”
After several moments, it was clear he was headed to the Blue City Motel across the street. Once we were certain we were out of his view, we got out and followed him into the parking lot, watching as he entered one of the rooms on the bottom floor. We were just a few yards away when Bear turned to Hawk and asked, “We going in after him?”
“I’d say yeah, but we don’t have any idea who’s in there with him.”
“We can’t let this guy get away from us,” I pushed. “We need to make a move before it’s too late.”
“And if he’s not alone?”
“Then, we deal with it.”
Hawk nodded. “Alright then. Let’s do this.”
The place was a total dive. Hell, the doors were barely hanging on their hinges, and there was litter lining the sidewalk. When we got to the door, Hawk put his ear up to it, checking to see if he heard anything. When he didn’t, he gave me a nod, signaling for me to kick the door down. Without a moment’s hesitation, I lifted my foot and slammed it against the rotten wood, splintering it in half as it fell to the floor. Grant was on the bed but shot up the second he spotted us coming into his room. “What the fuck? Who the hell are you?”
I didn’t answer. Instead, I reared back my fist and plowed it into his jaw. Unfortunately, he didn’t budge. At six-two and about three-sixty, Grant was a big dude. He had a good hundred pounds on me, but I’d learned a long time ago that in cases like these, size doesn’t matter. Before he had a chance to retaliate, I slammed my fist into him again, only this time in his enormous gut. The wind gushed from his lungs, causing him to topple forward. I continued to plow into him until Hawk called out to me, “Easy there, Widow. Save some for Shotgun.”
I stepped back and took in a couple of deep breaths, then said, “We need to get him loaded up before someone comes.”
“I’ll go get the truck,” Bear volunteered.
As soon as he pulled up to the motel, Hawk and I worked together to get Grant’s big ass in the SUV. Half an hour later he was in Shotgun’s hands. Knowing it’d take some time for him to get the intel we needed, the brothers decided to give him some space and hit the strip club in hopes of blowing off some steam. I decided to use the small window of opportunity to go see Frankie.
Chapter 12
Frankie
I didn’t even know it was happening. I honestly never dreamed it was even a possibility. He wasn’t the kind of man I would’ve ever thought I’d fall for. We were from two different worlds. We had two completely different outlooks on life. Not only was he big and rugged, but he was a member of a dangerous biker club, and his brothers called him Widow. You would think that in itself was enough to have me running for the hills. Even after hearing about his horrific childhood and seeing the anguish in his face as he spoke about his father, I didn’t run. Instead, I found myself even more drawn to him.
I couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was the fact that he too had felt the same soul-crushing sense of helplessness I’d felt for so many years. Maybe that was why the storm that raged inside of me stilled whenever he was near, giving me a sense calm like I’d never known before. He had a way of making my insecurities and doubts fade away. That was enough for me to be drawn to him, but there was more. So much more. The way his dark eyes would lock on me made me feel beautiful and desired, and his touch set me on fire. I had no idea what would come of us or if there ever would be an ‘us’, but I couldn’t deny the hold he had on me.
It had been several days since our conversation at his house, and I hadn’t heard anything from him. No calls. No texts. Nothing. By the time the kids went back to their dad’s, I’d figured he’d decided against taking a chance on us and gave up on hearing from him. I won’t lie. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Hoping to distract myself from the empty, sinking feeling that had taken root in the pit of my stomach, I threw on my favorite pair of sweats, turned on some music, and started cleaning the house. I’d just finished vacuuming and was about to mop the floor when there was a knock at the door. Thinking it was Sydney stopping by, I shouted, “Come on in!”
I started filling my mop bucket with water but quickly turned it off when I heard a man’s voice. “You know, you should keep that front door locked. Otherwise, anyone could just walk right in.”
“Roman?” I whipped around and found him standing in the doorway of my kitchen. He was wearing his black leather jacket with a black fitted t-shirt and jeans, and the very sight of him sent a warm rush surging through my entire body. I straightened my t-shirt as I asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you.”
I crossed my arms as I leaned back against my counter. “And why is that?”
“Well, I was kinda hoping with the boys at their dad’s, you would’ve broken out the wine again.” A sexy smirk crossed his handsome face as he continued, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not disappointed. You’re looking pretty hot in those fucking mom-sweats.”
“The man has jokes tonight.”
“You know why I’m here, Frankie.”
I turned around and pulled the bucket of water out of the sink. As I placed it on the floor, I told him, “No. Actually, I don’t.”
“I hoped we could talk.” He took a step towards me as he said, “I would’ve come sooner, but things have been a little crazy at the club.”
“Um-hmm.”
“That doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about you.” He stepped even closer. “Because I have. I’ve thought about you more than I care to admit, and I’ve done a lot of thinking about what you said at the house the other day.”
“And did you come to a decision?”
My breath hitched, and I could feel my body start to tense as I waited for him to answer. “Yes, but it wasn’t an easy decision. I’ve been with a lot of women, Frankie, but I’ve never been in a relationship, at least not the kind you’d expect from me.”
“You have no idea what I’d expect.”
“Oh, I think I do.” He lifted
his hand to my face, softly brushing his calloused thumb across my cheek. “You’d want me to love, protect, and take care of you...and your boys. You’d expect me to cherish you and only you.” His thumb raked across my bottom lip as he said, “You’d want me to make love to you, to touch you...fuck you, make your body feel things it’s never felt before. To make you feel alive in ways you’ve never dreamed of...Am I close?”
“Um-hmm,” was the only answer I could give. I was too entranced by those dark eyes and the feel of his hand on my body. His words burned through me, setting every nerve in my body on fire. I inhaled a quick breath, trying my best to break the spell he’d put me under, but it was no use. I was too far gone.
“That’s what I thought.” His eyes turned fierce as he said, “You know, it would be one thing if that was all that you’d expect from me, but it’s not. You’d want me to let you in, you’d want to try and break the demons that have taken root inside of me. You’d want to heal me, but Frankie, there’s no healing a man like me. You need to know that.”
“I have demons of my own, Roman. They might be different from yours, but they’re still there. And at times, they can be as big and scary as yours.”
“So, we’re two broken souls. Do you really think you and I could ever make this thing work?”
In just a short time, he’d taken my world by storm, making me feel things I never dreamed possible, and as much as it scared me, I wanted it. I wanted him. “I’m willing to try. The question is, are you?”
Without any further hesitation, he reached for me, pulling me closer to him as his mouth found mine. An eager moan echoed through the room when his tongue brushed against mine. My hands roamed across the ridges of his chest as he deepened the kiss. I’d never felt such a strong desire for a man. With just a simple touch he sent a surge of heat coursing through my body, burning me to my very core. When he looked at me, I could see the yearning in his eyes, and I’d never felt so beautiful. He made me feel craved, wanted beyond belief. The kiss was quickly becoming heated, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before we reached the point of no return. Realizing I wasn’t exactly prepared for that, I placed my hand on his chest as I said, “Hold on...You’re going to have to give me a minute.”