He grins. “Both?”
“Penn is just a fool. I shrug him off.”
“But Trevor?” he pokes.
I think about his handsome face. Strong body. Gentle touch. Hard kisses. Sweet words.
“He’s harder to shrug off,” I admit. “But maybe we’ll figure it out long distance. Or maybe it’ll be over when he leaves. Time will tell.”
“You know what I think?” Dane asks.
“No.”
“I think two things. First of all, you seem a lot more composed about this guy. Watching you with Trevor isn’t like watching you with the hippie.”
I sigh. “We’re back to the hippie again?”
“He’s the baseline. Or he was,” Dane says. “I think Trevor is now.”
“Dane . . .” I groan. “This isn’t helping.”
He puts his hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “I know it doesn’t feel like it is, but it is.”
“How? It just feels like you’re sprinkling some salt in my wound.”
“Do you remember how I let Neely go?” He drops his hand.
“Yeah. Twice,” I point out.
“Yes. Twice. Thanks for reminding me.” He grimaces. “Anyway, if I would’ve admitted to myself that I loved her a hell of a lot earlier, then maybe I could’ve gotten off my ass and fixed our shit before I did.”
“Trevor and I don’t have shit to fix. He doesn’t want to be tied down, and he lives in Nashville. It’s ethos and logistics. And there really is no love involved, Dane. We’ve spent five minutes together and barely know each other. I’m probably a fun time to him, and I have to be okay with that. I am okay with that, because he’s been fun too. So take your ‘first of all’ out of our equation. Please.”
“But I had a ‘second of all.’” Dane starts walking back to the kitchen.
“Dane, come on. There isn’t—”
“I think I found a reason for Trevor to stay,” he says.
“What?” I ask, my breath catching in my throat.
“You. Maybe you’re the reason he’ll stay.”
He disappears around the corner before I can say what’s really in my heart. That Trevor Kelly made himself clear. Yes, he suggested Liz saw more in his expression than she’d seen from him, but that doesn’t change a man. And I need to be content to accept that.
Sorry, Dane. I doubt I’ll be any man’s reason to stay. Even if I am awesome.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
HALEY
I glance at my phone and giggle.
A shirtless selfie of Trevor sits in my text messages, the result of losing a bet last night. He’s making a duck face, standing in front of a mirror, and showing off his delicious six-pack just for me.
I don’t know what the bet was about, but Jake shot me a message and told me an incoming text was imminent and I could thank him for it later. I also don’t know how Jake got my number, and I didn’t ask when Trevor came over last night for a quick make-out session.
Our rules are gone. Broken. Never to return. Even if I wanted to reintroduce them, it wouldn’t work. I don’t want to, anyway.
The chimes on the front door of Buds and Branches ring. Aerial, the woman who owns the gym Neely runs, comes in with a bright smile.
“Haley,” she says. “I didn’t know you worked here.”
“It’s my first day. What can I help you with?”
“My niece is having her tonsils taken out, and I wanted to send her some balloons and a couple of flowers. Nothing fancy, just something a twelve-year-old would like.”
“How’s that age?” I ask. “Mia will be there soon, and every day I feel like she’s growing up on us. Wanting to be with her friends and not hanging out at home with her ex-nanny. Pushing her daddy’s buttons. Seeing how far she can push Neely.”
“Twelve isn’t bad. I remember with my girls that fifteen was a doozy. You have a few years yet.”
“Thank God.” I venture over to the cooler. “So I love lilies, but they’re pretty fragrant. That might not be good if she’s having her tonsils out. Your throat is hooked to your nose.” I make a face. “What about sunflowers? The yellow is cheery, and they don’t really smell like anything.”
Aerial grins. “Sounds great.”
“We have a cute unicorn vase in the back. Want to use something like that or just a clear one?”
“Unicorn. Definitely.”
“Just a sec.”
I head to the back and grab the unicorn vase and arrange the sunflowers until they’re a burst of pure happiness. I’m just placing the last flower when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out.
Trevor: Good morning, Ohio. Thinking about you this morning. A lot. And last weekend. Even more.
Me: Good morning, Thief. Thinking about last weekend. A lot. And what tonight could bring. Even more.
Trevor: I like the way you think.
Me: Ha.
Trevor: I’m in town. If you aren’t busy, I’ll stop by? I can even buy a flower if I need to.
Me: I’d love to know which you’d pick.
Trevor: Since it’s your first day at work, I’d pick bamboo for good luck.
Me: Well played.
Trevor: See you soon, pretty girl.
I do a little dance before grabbing a couple of balloon options and heading back to the front.
“Haley, that’s so cute,” Aerial gushes. She holds the vase up in the air. “Is that a penny in there?”
“Yes. The copper is an acidifier, so bacteria and gross stuff won’t grow as easily.”
“I didn’t know that.”
My stomach flutters. “I learned it at a flower show this weekend.”
“Fun.” She selects the balloon she wants, and I ring her up. Once she’s paid, she heads out the door. But before she gets out, someone else walks in.
“Penn Etling, what are you doing in here?” I laugh. “I didn’t know you knew this place existed.”
“I need some help and I figured you were the girl to ask.”
“If this has anything to do with something dirty . . . ,” I warn.
He grins. “I have another project for Meredith, and I need to plant . . .”
“What?”
“I don’t know what to plant. She didn’t include specifics and Dane said to plant bulbs that will come back every year, only I didn’t know plants even did that and I’m not telling him that.” He leans on the bar. “What do you suggest?”
“Definitely tulips,” I tell him. “Tulips might be my favorite flower of all. We don’t sell the bulbs here, but they probably do at the hardware store.”
“Okay. What else?”
“Crocuses are nice. You could do daffodils, but they’re kind of boring, if you ask me.”
He stares at me. “Could you text me this? Because I’m going to forget.”
“Then why didn’t you text me to start with?”
He winks. “Because I never, ever miss a chance to see your face.”
“Oh, boy,” I say with a sigh. “You are a handful.”
“I’m about three handfuls, if we’re measuring that way. Or seven inches—”
“Can you not?” I say, smacking his hand. “I’m at work, Penn.”
He rolls his eyes. “Fine. But you will text me this, right? Like now. I need to go get the stuff right now.”
Something prickles at the back of my mind as I watch him. There’s something off, something not quite right, and I don’t know what it is.
“How’s the house coming?” I ask. I know the answer. Most of it, anyway. I just can’t keep myself from asking and trying to prepare for the inevitable.
I need to talk this out with Trevor. I need to see if anything has changed after our night in Nashville, but I’m scared to ask. I’m terrified to come across as pushy. No matter what else I do, I refuse to be viewed as clingy.
“We’re done.” He shrugs. “The house is what we call substantially complete. That means our work is done, but there might be little things here or there
that need to be hashed out. But we won’t know that until Branson comes and tells us what he wants.”
“Can’t Trevor do it?”
Penn bites his lip. “He already did.”
“Oh.”
I can’t look Penn in the face. Despite the fool he usually pretends to be, I know he’ll try to make me feel better if he thinks I’m upset.
Am I upset? I don’t know. Everything is too confusing.
“Hey,” Penn says, his voice softer. “Are you all right?”
I look up just in time to see Trevor walking by the front window. He sees me through the glass. A soft grin plays on his lips, and I melt into a puddle of goo.
He pulls open the front door and stops when he sees Penn.
“Hey,” Penn says. “We were just talking about you, Kelly.”
“Yeah?” he asks, looking between Penn and me. “What’s going on here?”
“Penn needed some advice on flowers, actually. I think I have him pointed in the right direction.”
Trevor nods, still unsure. “Hey, Penn—if you’re going to be around for a few, I’d like to meet up with you at the café. Just a few things I want to see if you can do before Dad gets here.”
“Sure. I can head over there now and give Claire hell until you make it over,” Penn says.
“Sounds good. Be there in fifteen or so.”
When Penn is gone, it’s then Trevor who makes his way to the desk. I busy myself organizing notes from a call earlier about a wedding because I don’t want to look at him. I’m not sure what to say.
“Hey, you,” he says, breaking the ice for me.
“Hi.”
“How’s it going today?”
“Good. I really love it here,” I say, sighing happily. “It feels good to walk in this place, you know? I love being surrounded by all this beauty.”
Trevor laughs. “I’m happy for you.”
“Me too.”
Silence creeps around us, a weight that sinks into the room. It’s large and oddly shaped and impossible to get comfortable with. Trevor feels it, too, because he shifts his feet like he does when he can’t figure something out.
“So you’re done at the house?” I ask. My throat is parched, making the words sound like they’re said over sandpaper.
Trevor nods. “Yeah. They finished over the weekend.”
“What’s this mean for you?”
I really want to know what it means for me. For him and me. For us. If there’s an ‘us,’ and God, I hope there is.
He picks up a pen and twiddles it between two fingers. “I’m not sure. We probably need to talk about it.”
“Probably so.”
The air stales between us, the energy that typically barrels from him to me, and vice versa, gone. In its place is a stiff, delicate situation that neither of us seems to want to deal with.
“Haley . . .” He scratches his head. “This is really complicated.”
“Is it? Because it doesn’t seem like it has to be from here.”
He sets the pen down. “What do you suggest we do? You live three hours away from me. Your family is here. My family and my job are there.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I only know people make things work that they want to work.”
He looks at me warily. It sends a pang of panic over me, and I grab on to the desk to keep from marching around the corner and kissing him. Because kissing him won’t help. Not in the long run.
A card that says “Love Is Forever” hangs on the rack just over Trevor’s shoulder. It’s surrounded by a handful of other cards with various sayings, but it’s the one that sticks out to me. Probably because that’s the problem—love isn’t “forever” to Trevor Kelly.
Can I deal with that? Am I willing to?
“Maybe you’re right,” he says finally. He strolls to a display and picks up a little potted bamboo plant. He checks the price and sets it on the counter next to a twenty. “I want to buy this for you.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Can you hush and ring me up so I can get out of here before Penn forgets he’s meeting me?” He laughs.
I get his total, then his change, and hand him a receipt. “Here you go, sir.”
“Thank you.” He stuffs the bills in his pocket. “May this little plant bring you good fortune.”
I hope so.
He checks his phone. I watch his brow furrow and his jaw set. I try to memorize every line in his face. Just in case.
“You’re staring again.” He grins as he catches me off-guard. “What are you thinking?”
I walk around the desk and stand in front of him. “Can I ask a favor of you? Before you go back to the city?”
His eyes darken. “Sure.”
“Dane is having a party at his new house. It’s a pre-housewarming party so Mia feels more comfortable when they actually move in.” I suck in a hasty breath. “And I’d like you to come with me. As my plus-one.”
I think he’s going to say no. I see it on his face. As I start to tell him not to worry about it, he surprises me by smiling.
“You know what? Yeah. I’ll go. I’d love to,” he says. “Lorene has a group of coon hunters coming in this week, so I’m going to have to get out of town at some point soon. But I’d love to go with you. You can count on it.”
I nod, afraid to say anything because I don’t know what words will come out of my mouth. Either a “Thanks for coming with me,” or a sob that his answer gave me more questions and no answers.
He kisses my forehead, and I don’t know how to take that. If I overthought it, I might conclude it was an apology kiss.
No, I’m not ready for that. Not yet.
Trevor
“Just got word you wrapped everything up down there.” Jake’s chair squeaks in the background. “How’s it feel?”
“I don’t know, but it sounds like you need a new fucking chair.”
The sound stops. Jake blows out a breath. “Okay. I’ll bite. What’s wrong?”
I roll-stop through the intersection by the post office before remembering I’m supposed to talk to Penn at the café. I check my mirrors and then blow a U-turn in the middle of the road.
“Wow,” Jake says. “This must be good.”
“There’s nothing good about any of this, jackass.”
“Easy there, little brother. What’s going on?”
“You know,” I say, “I liked it better when I didn’t have a conscience. When I didn’t give a shit whether a woman liked me or not. When I’d sleep with someone one weekend and maybe never talk to her again.”
“Okay. Haley. Continue.”
I blow out a breath and slide the truck into the café’s parking lot. But I don’t get out. Instead, I think of having her next to me in the hotel room. Because that’s going to fucking help everything.
“For the record, you were not that way,” Jake says. “You’ve always had a conscience, just never been in love. And now you are, if I’m guessing.”
“Oh, fuck you.”
“Fucking is the problem. Not me. But man, if you’ll just be honest with yourself, it’ll help.”
“I have a decision to make here, Jake.”
“Want my advice?”
“Not really.”
He chuckles into the line. “Well, you called me, so I’m calling bullshit on that.”
I rest my head on the steering wheel. “Everything here is wrapped up.”
“Yeah. I know. We covered that.”
“So I’m coming home.”
“Okay. I expected that.”
I heave a breath because I don’t know how to explain. I don’t want to explain it or to care to explain it, but the truth of the matter is I fucking care. A lot. And I can’t just shake that shit off like it’s a girl I met at a café, eating doughnuts.
Every girl I’ve had before, I’ve known there would come a day when I wouldn’t see them again. It was inevitable. It was fine. It was expected, even. So why the thought of going home wi
thout Haley kills me is so fucking confusing.
“You know, we live in a day and age where you can travel distances fast. And we have things like text messages and video chat and email. It’s almost like the other person is right there,” Jake says, patronizing me.
Says the fucker who has never tried a relationship, let alone a long-distance one.
I climb out of my truck, needing the fresh air. “Damn it, Jake. It’s not that simple.”
“Why isn’t it?”
“What happens a year from now when I don’t want to be with her anymore?” I ask.
“What happens a year from now when you aren’t and you wish you were?”
“Stop playing devil’s advocate with me and answer the fucking question.”
“I did answer the fucking question. You just don’t like my answer.” He sighs. “She’s really fucked you up, hasn’t she?”
I hate him for saying it. Hearing it like that makes it so real. So true.
“Something like that,” I grumble.
“Why don’t you just come home and see her on the weekends? Try it out for a few weeks or months and see what happens? It might fix itself.”
He doesn’t get it. Hell, I barely understand it myself.
There is nothing to fix. I’d see her every other month if that was all I could have, but that’s not the problem. The problem is there’s no reason to do it. We’ve known that from the start. She’ll be expecting it to last forever, and I’ll be looking for a way out in six months. It’s how I work. It’s how we work. It’ll never work together.
“It’s not like I don’t understand the concept of dating, Jake. I’ve been there. Done that.”
“So? What’s the issue, then?”
I look at the door of the Dogwood Café. A couple of weeks ago, I walked in there and saw her bent over that bar. Little did I know that moment in time would rock my world to the core. Little did I know that my heart would even want to be rocked.
My chest is so tight I can barely breathe. I can only relax when I’m with her, and I can’t be right now. Because I really can’t be when I have to go home and leave her here.
For my own good, but also, more importantly, for hers.
I can’t promise her what she wants and needs. What she deserves is the whole world. I won’t be the guy to break that promise. I just won’t make it.
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