by J. M. Walker
“I’m going to go take a shower,” I muttered, rising from the couch.
“Lily, stay,” Lucas demanded. “Lena, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Fine.” She pursed her lips. “I just need help. That’s all. I need to find out what I can on my ex. Please. I’ll pay.”
“What did I tell you last time? I am not fucking you.” Lucas stomped away from her and into the kitchen. He came back a moment later with a mug. “Here.” He handed it to her.
She sighed, taking the mug from him and took a sip and then another before letting out another sigh. “I’m sorry.” Her cheeks reddened, her dark eyes meeting mine. “I’m not usually like this but…”
“You’re desperate,” I added for her.
Lucas moved to my side, placing his hand at the small of my back.
She nodded. “My ex is an asshole and my parents are just as bad. You would think they’d be on their daughter’s side, but they aren’t.” Her chin wavered. “I’m such a mess. I need a drink and I need my daughter. She’s the only reason I’ve stayed away from alcohol.”
“What information are you wanting to find out?” Now that I understood what was going on, I kind of felt sorry for her.
“I…” Lena looked between us both. “I want to know what kind of shit he’s into. I need something on him, so I can get my daughter back.”
“Does he have full custody?” I asked.
“No, my parents do but it hasn’t helped at all. I still can’t see her.” Her eyes welled. “Please. I need your help. And I’m sorry for throwing myself at you, Lucas. Clearly, there’s something between you two. I’ll step back. I just…I’m desperate.”
My heart hurt for her. “Is there something we can do?” I asked Lucas.
“I don’t do this shit anymore, Lena,” Lucas told her. “You know that.”
“I know.” Her breath hitched. “I just…I need my daughter.”
“Will you give us a moment?” I linked my fingers with Lucas’s.
She nodded.
“Lucas.” I tugged him down the hall to his bedroom. “Is there something we can do for her?”
“No.” He turned to walk away but I stopped him.
“If you don’t want to help her, let me try.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to help her, Lily.” He huffed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m trying to be a good boy. If I get caught snooping around, I could end up back in jail.”
“Then let me try,” I insisted.
“You want to help her after she was hitting on me?” He pinched my chin, tilting my head back. “I saw that jealous fire in you just a moment ago.”
“I want to help a daughter get her mom back,” I corrected.
He searched my face, grumbled a curse, and pulled away. “Fine.”
***
(Lucas)
Lena and I had been friends for years. That was it. It never amounted to more. I trusted her, but she was desperate and desperate people did stupid things.
“Alright, Lena.” Lily sat beside her at the kitchen table. “Give me all of the information you have on your ex and I’ll see what I can find out for you.”
Lena inhaled a shaky breath. “Thank you. I really mean that.”
“I hope so,” I murmured.
Lily shot me a look.
I raised an eyebrow, daring her to say something.
She patted Lena’s hand. “Do you have a pen and paper?” she asked me.
“Yeah.” I found her the items she was looking for and stood off to the side while they discussed Lena’s ex. It had come to light that he was semi-powerful in our city. I bit back a scoff. No one was too powerful to not be found. If they had a name, I could find them. I just didn’t tell the women that. Truth was, I didn’t want to go back to jail. Especially not after finding Lily. I had to be a good little boy for fear that I would get thrown behind bars for the rest of my life.
“Alright,” Lily said a half an hour later. “I think this is a good start.” She stood, grabbing the pad of paper. “Thank you, Lena.”
“No.” Lena pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you. And again, I am so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Lily walked Lena out much to my surprise. “Well, that was fun,” Lily said, coming back a moment later.
“You surprise me. Every fucking second I’m with you, Lily Pad, you surprise the hell out of me.” I shook my head and headed into the kitchen to make some more coffee.
“Why do you say that?” Lily came up behind me, running her hands up my back. “I just wanted to help her.”
I spun on her, grabbing her hands and pushed her back. “You should be careful.”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. Patting my chest, she reached around me and grabbed the mug of coffee I had just poured for her. “Worried for me, baby?” she asked, staring at me over the rim of her mug.
“Woman.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “You don’t know the shit Lena said to me.”
“She wanted you to fuck her.” Lily shrugged. “Who doesn’t, Lucas? Look at you.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. Sure, women offered themselves to me quite often, but it didn’t mean shit. I had never been interested.
“You’re surprised,” Lily pointed out. “Aren’t you?”
“No. Yes. Fuck. Listen, just be careful. You are way too nice.”
She laughed. “Just because I offered to help her, doesn’t mean I actually trust her. Also, if I can keep an eye on her, it means I know where she is, and I can make sure she keeps her hands off of you.”
“Really.” I took the mug from her hands and placed it on the counter behind me. “Why, Lily? Would it make you jealous knowing that she wanted me?”
“Why, yes, Lucas.” Lily gripped the hem of my gray sweatpants, pulling me closer. “I think it would. Just like it made you jealous when I went to dinner with Killian.”
I swallowed a growl at the mention of that fucker’s name.
Lily grinned, leaning her head back. “Still jealous?”
In a quick move, I lifted her in my arms and dropped her on the counter before fisting her hair. Tugging her head back, I licked up the length of her slender throat. “Yes, Lily. I am fucking jealous. But there’s a difference. I never fucked Lena. But you fucked Killian. He knows what you feel like. What you smell like. What you taste like.”
“He doesn’t,” Lily breathed, wrapping her legs around my waist.
“He does.” I placed a soft bite on the soft spot beneath her ear.
“No. He doesn’t because he never tasted me.” She pushed me back. “Sex with him was just that, sex. No foreplay. He was an asshole like that.”
For whatever reason, that didn’t make me feel better.
***
(Lily)
The mood in Lucas switched as soon as those words left my lips. He lifted me in his arms, crushing his mouth to mine and carried me over to the couch.
“What time do you have to leave?” he asked, his voice husky.
I glanced at the clock on the DVD player. “I have two hours.”
“Good.” He dropped me on my feet. “Strip and then kneel on the couch. Away from me.”
I did as I was told, tossing the clothes to the floor and placing my hands on the back of the couch. My body trembled as I waited for my next instruction.
Lucas brushed his fingers up my spine, placing a soft peck on my shoulder. “Spread your legs.”
My skin tingled under his touch. Spreading my knees wide, I stuck my ass out and waited.
He lowered to the floor behind me, pushing his head between my legs.
My eyes widened as I watched him.
He winked and for the next hour, he used me good and hard.
I sighed, my eyes fluttering closed. “Always so damn good.”
Lucas chuckled, placing one last kiss on my cheek before pulling me to my feet. He helped me into the boxers and shirt before landing a hard swat on my ass.
“Mine,” he whispered, covering my
mouth with his.
My heart stuttered.
Oh. Shit.
Lucas
THE FIRST SLICE OF pleasure erupting through me was unexpected but wanted. It had been a long time since I’d felt something so good. So delicious. So damn tight. The wet pussy sucked me deeper. The moans and gasps for more only made me fuck harder and faster.
But it wasn’t enough. I wanted to hurt. To feel that pain I had grown accustomed to ever since I was a kid.
“Hit me,” I demanded.
“What?” Wide eyes stared up at me.
“Hit me, whore,” I ground out through clenched teeth.
“Fuck you, asshole.” The woman pushed away from me. “I don’t care how big your dick is. I’m not a whore.”
I threw a wad of cash at her. “You are now.”
Her cheeks reddened, her eyes glaring into mine. She glanced at the hundred-dollar bills on the bed.
I waited.
It didn’t take long for her to cave and get back to bouncing on my dick. Money talked. Although I didn’t have a lot of it, I had enough that could get me what I wanted when I wanted it. Women and drugs were no exception.
I shot up in bed, a sheen of sweat coating my skin. The nightmare or the memory rather, rattled through me.
“Lucas?” A gentle hand cupped my shoulder.
I jumped.
“Hey,” Lily said gently. “Bad dream?”
I forgot she had come over after work. I grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I need a glass of water,” I said, my throat dry.
She nodded. “Okay.”
Pulling free from her gentle touch, I rose from the bed and went out into the kitchen, not bothering to put on any clothes. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I downed it, threw it in the trash, and grabbed another one.
“Did you want to talk about it?” Lily asked from behind me.
“Not really.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to ward off the familiar headache that came with my memories.
Lily had my white t-shirt on and leaned against the doorframe with her arms crossed under her chest. “You sure?”
“It wasn’t a dream really. More of a memory. I wasn’t…I was an asshole when I was younger.” I let out a hard sigh, remembering the shocked look on the woman’s face when I threw money at her. “Anyway, it was the first time I had sex with a woman.” Or at least the first time where it wasn’t out of desperation or forced into it. The women faced my wrath because I had nothing else to give them. But I wanted to give Lily more. I just didn’t know how.
“I like you, Lucas.”
My heart stuttered. “I like you too, Mel. But not in the way you need.”
That was the first time I had hurt her, and it only became worse from there.
“You had a dream about losing your virginity?” Lily asked, pulling me from my thoughts. “Wouldn’t that be a good dream?”
I swallowed the bile rising to my throat. “I wasn’t a virgin, Lily.”
“What?” Her eyes widened a moment later. “Oh. I’m—”
“Don’t. Don’t say you’re sorry. Don’t say any of that shit. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but the adults involved.” I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. It’s done.”
“Clearly it’s not done.” Lily pushed away from the doorframe and took a tentative step toward me. “Tell me.”
“Why, for you to pity me?”
“No.” Her head jerked back. “God, Lucas. I just want to know you. That’s it.”
“You want to know me.” My brows narrowed. “You want to know how I was molested as a kid? To tell me how sorry you are for that happening? You want to know that I was forced to do things to other kids…” Bile burned my throat. “It doesn’t matter.” I pushed away from her.
“Lucas.”
“Don’t.” It wasn’t her fault. But the dreams, the fucking memories, were going to destroy me. They had been eating at me ever since I escaped that hell and eventually, I would be consumed by them completely. It was only a matter of when. I couldn’t control them. I needed them to stop but I didn’t know how. Fuck, I needed a drink. I needed something to mask the demons of my childhood. To get rid of the uninvited guests that had taken up residence in my mind for as long as I could remember.
I stood at the large window overlooking the building beside the shop. The sun was rising over the city. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. Too bad my mood didn’t match.
“Lucas.” Lily came toward me, gently touching my back.
“Lily,” I growled, my body tensing.
“Stop.” She rested her cheek against my back. “I’m not pitying you. I’m just touching you.”
I sighed, thankful that she didn’t press for more. Even though I knew she had every right to ask questions, she didn’t.
***
(Lily)
I didn’t know what happened to him. After Lucas had blurted about being molested as a kid, he closed up. We had woken up early after he had his nightmare or dream or whatever he wanted to call it and he drove me home. It was on the tip of my tongue to demand answers. To beg to spend the day with him. To make him feel better. But something told me that he needed some time alone. I just hoped he didn’t push me away completely.
When we pulled into my driveway, Lucas put the car in park.
I turned to him. “Thank you for last night.”
He nodded but didn’t meet my gaze.
“Lucas?”
He looked at me then. “What?”
I tapped my mouth.
He leaned over, placing a soft peck on my lips. “Don’t be mad at me, Lily. I just…I need...I need time. I want to tell you everything. I need to tell you. I…”
“I know.” I cupped his cheek, kissed his forehead, and left the car. Luckily, I made it into the house without being seen by my grandma, so I could quickly change. I was sure she would have questions as to why I was dressed in Lucas’s clothes rather than my own.
“Lily,” Grandma called out from the kitchen.
I got dressed in sweats and a t-shirt before joining her in the kitchen.
“Did you have a good night?” she asked, placing a mug of coffee in front of me.
“I did. Until this morning anyway.” I took a sip of the coffee and let out a sigh. There was still no official title for what Lucas and I were doing but I knew that I didn’t want anyone else.
“What do you mean?” She sat across from me.
“I mean…I don’t even know what I mean. I like Lucas. I like him a lot. But he’s…” I thought a moment. “Troubled I guess is the right word.”
“I could actually sense that.” Grandma reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “But you like him, and he obviously likes you. That means something. You’ve known each other for how long now?”
“Nearly three months. Roughly.”
“And I have a feeling that whatever’s building between you two is only going to continue to grow.”
“But I don’t know what to do for him.” My chest tightened. “I want to help him feel better.”
“Maybe you can’t. People who come from a troubled past like he has, may never feel better.”
Although I understood what she was saying, I still wanted to help him in any way that I could. I wanted to at least help him deal with his past. Whatever that was.
“Just be patient.” Grandma patted my hand. “That’s all you can do right now.”
I nodded but it still didn’t make me feel better.
Excusing myself from the table, I headed to my bedroom. The last few weeks had been amazing with Lucas. I learned things about myself I never knew before. I had been with guys. A lot of them in fact, but none of them ever made me feel the way he did. I felt wanted, beautiful, and so damn complete when it came to him that I wanted more. I was addicted to his touch. I craved him. His hands on me. His lips on my skin. His deep voice in my ear, telling me all the dirty things he wanted to do to me.
My skin
tingled, the tiny hairs on my body dancing with pleasure the longer I thought of Lucas.
All I knew was that I needed a shower and I needed to take advantage of the ecstasy rushing through me.
The longer I thought of Lucas, the hotter my body burned.
Trudging into the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and stripped completely. Turning on the hot water, I stepped into the shower. I let out a sigh as the liquid rained down over me. My fingers slid down my body, my other hand massaging and kneading my breasts. “God, Lucas,” I whispered.
I fell to the floor of the tub, inching my hand between my legs. A soft moan escaped me when I came into contact with my soaked center. Although something had switched between us and I wasn’t sure if it was for the better or worse, I still craved him. I needed him in ways I never knew existed before. I needed him all over me. Inside me. In the deepest part of my soul.
I bent over, wishing Lucas were there with me. I imagined his hands on my skin. His mouth on mine. His cock deep inside me while he took us past the point of bliss and into a pool of passion and ecstasy.
Thrusting two fingers inside of me, I rode out the waves of pleasure, his name leaving my lips a moment later on a soft cry. I chewed my bottom lip to keep from crying his name out louder and trembled through my delicious release.
Once my body calmed down, I let out a soft sigh and finished my shower. The release wasn’t enough, but it would have to do.
***
(Lucas)
While I was making myself a cup of coffee, the scent of roses wafted into my nose. I squeezed my eyes shut, savoring the sweet smell. It didn’t make sense. It never did. One moment, I hated the smell and the next, I craved it.
Opening my eyes, I glanced around the room, finding one of the other addicts placing a bouquet of roses on their chair. She had a small smile on her face. A man came up to her, pulling her into a hug.