This earned a half-hearted round of chuckles from her friends as they joined the slow-moving throng making its way to the exit.
Faces were tight, complexions ashen.
F’Thr slipped in next to her and whispered in her ear: “It’s the first winnowing. They’re ditching half of us this morning.”
“Oh,” Nuri said. Now she really wanted to throw up.
“You don’t need to worry, though,” he added.
“How do you know?”
“Duh.” And that was all he said.
They were shoved out into the hallway and marched along in a press of bodies and stomping feet to the hall.
The fold-up chairs in the assembly hall were flimsy and wobbled alarmingly when anyone sat on them. They also screeched on the plascrete flooring if a person didn’t pick them up properly before moving them. Consequently, the hall echoed with tortured sounds and murmured conversation as people found their places.
Nuri and her friends took spots about three quarters of the way to the back, in the middle, because everyone was trying to sit at the edges so that they could be the first to leave after the meeting.
None of the facilitators were there yet, but half a dozen empty chairs stood in a row up front – nicer ones than the horrid plastic-and-metal contraptions the Chosen had.
“Ugh,” said Mei. “This feels like a school assembly.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Nuri whispered at her.
“Brat!” Mei offered the ghost of a smile.
A collective signal was sent out via AR not long after; everyone shut up and sat straighter. A door opened and the facilitators filed in, all dressed in their formal uniforms – streamlined form-fitting charcoal garments with silver piping. Raphel was one of the last to enter, and it pained Nuri to see how his expression was just as emotionless as the others. His thousand-yard stare belonged to someone else entirely, a stranger.
Alda came to the podium, where she stood for a moment, clearly studying the faces of the Chosen. Then she cleared her throat. Her amplified voice rang out in the assembly hall.
“Some of you may already have an inkling as to why we are gathered here today and have correctly guessed that this is the first winnowing. While you have participated in the initial part of this programme at this prestigious facility, you have been under constant scrutiny. Not only have your academic, social and physical activities been evaluated, but also how you relate to your fellow Chosen and your assorted interactions. We realise that this degree of intrusiveness may be discomforting for some, but this is what you understood when you stepped over the threshold and agreed to be part of this unique programme.” She paused, and once again gave the impression that she was making eye contact with all the Chosen as she slowly swept her gaze across the assembly.
Nuri shuddered. This wasn’t quite how she remembered her discussion with Alda when she’d been admitted, but what was done was done. And wasn’t this evaluation worthwhile if she attained the greatest prize? Yet this incredible lack of privacy, having the AIs and higher-ups privy to all sorts of information about her and her activities – was it worthwhile just for the privilege of being a Citizen?
Nuri couldn’t follow that thread as Alda was already speaking again.
“The star-jumpers are the lifeblood of the galaxy. Without them, we’d be reduced to outmoded FTSL travel and ansible communications. We’d see entire planetary systems and sectors of space sundered by hundreds, if not thousands of light years. Travel would grind to a standstill. Entire trade routes would be made meaningless. The prosperity we now enjoy would be destroyed, and the Gateways would be closed to us. It is said that not even the Blessed Progenitors had the benefits afforded to us thanks to the star-jumpers.
“For the Calan metropolis to have been blessed by the star-jumper who gifted us with her Seed is an honour many dream of and few ever experience. It goes without saying that we must be rigorous in ensuring that we provide the emergent nymph with only the best.”
Sniggers rippled through the Chosen, accompanied by a few turned heads and glances in Nuri’s direction.
She sank into a hunch, dismayed by the forlorn squeak of her chair. Mei reached over to clasp her hand and didn’t let go, which made Nuri feel a little better.
When Alda cast her gaze in their direction, Nuri swore the woman looked right at her.
Alda continued: “You are the scions of the elite; the great families and those who have come to greatness through extraordinary individual effort. After today, we must unfortunately say farewell to half of you. While you are all in possession of above-average potential, our decision-makers’ policy is clear. We will only present those who display the potential to be the absolute best avatar.
“As you will have realised by now, this is not a position that is reliant on any one skill, be it physical prowess, agility, intelligence, agreeability, situational awareness, prudence, diplomacy, stealth, leadership, cunning, knowledge, and more, but rather it is an amalgamation of these traits. The one who is last to stand before the star-jumper may not be the greatest warrior or the most savvy negotiator, but they will be in possession of some undefinable quality that is more than the sum of their parts. We cannot know what that is, but we at least hope to select those individuals who offer one thing that is vital above all others – potential.
“And, lastly, it is prudent to recognise that no amount of a patron’s credits can buy you the regard of one of these amazing beings. Wealth means very little to star-jumpers.”
Nuri was certain that bit about the credits had been slipped in specifically with her in mind, and she felt both hot and cold. Mei’s grip on her hand tightened, and her friend nudged her, mouthing the words ‘sit up straight’.
The rest of the Chosen began to shift restlessly too, and Nuri suffered a momentary fear that she was broadcasting her emotions in the psi ranges, or perhaps it was a whole bunch of Chosen were doing so too.
“Without further ado, let’s begin. If your name is announced, please will you rise and return to your dorm to pack your things. The transport back to Calan City is already waiting at reception.”
Nuri shivered, what breakfast she’d been able to eat flipping in her stomach. Mei’s fingers grew clammy, and they traded glances. Mei’s usually warm complexion had grown sickly pale.
“You’ll be okay,” Nuri mouthed.
Mei responded with a tight shake of her head even as the first names were read and groans of dismay started to ring out.
One by one, Chosen began their walk of shame across the hall to one of the exits. Vella was one of the first, Nuri noted with a twist of savage glee. In fact, all of the Nasty Girls were called. She allowed herself a tight smile until she heard F’Thr’s name.
“Nooo,” Nuri moaned and grabbed his arm as he rose from his seat. Her vision blurred. It felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach.
F’Thr paused, squeezed shut his eyes, as if he too was fighting back tears. “Don’t forget me when you’re up among the stars, space trash.” Then he was gone, a stooped figure shuffling along with the scores of others leaving the facility forever.
Things grew hazy at that point. All that Nuri was aware of was Mei’s arm tight around her shoulder, pressing her close enough that she could hear her friend’s heartbeat while the last of the names were called.
By the time the door hissed shut after the last evicted Chosen, the assembly hall was much emptier, and nearly a hundred seats stood empty, a few tipped over where they’d been knocked in haste.
The facilitators’ expressions remained wooden, and Nuri scrubbed at her eyes, silently daring them to offer some hints as to their thoughts.
“Well, congratulations are in order,” Alda said after a pause.
Byron made eye contact with Nuri across F’Thr’s empty seat. He grimaced, and she bared her teeth back at him in an approximation of a smile she didn’t feel. He’d made it, as had Mei. And Nuri, of course. Why did this feel like such a hollow victory? Her new pack was being
diminished one by one, and it hurt like hell. Who’d be gone after the next winnowing?
In the end, there could be only one.
Alone, among the stars.
Not alone, came the reassurance in a wave of warmth that had Nuri start in her chair as if she’d been bitten. People turned to stare at her sudden movement, and Nuri shrank back down.
She reached for the fleeting presence in the same way she might grope for the light switch in a dark room. But it was gone.
Even so, it was incredibly difficult for her to focus on anything Alda said afterwards. More than anything else, the tears that rolled down Nuri’s cheeks had to do with this unexpected sense of not alone – she could only describe it as a measure of purpose that had descended on her. Not a destiny as such, but a realisation that a path was being laid out for her, and that no matter what happened, she’d be all right. How she could tell this, she didn’t know; she didn’t have the right words, except that for the first time in her short life, she grew aware of the complex webs that tied her to her world and to the people around her.
15
Her own room.
Nuri stared in wonderment at the space that was hers. For now, that was.
After the assembly, the remaining Chosen had been instructed to pack their things and go up to the fourth floor. Bots had been busy everywhere, carrying furniture, finishing up cleaning. A message via AR had directed her to room 403, which was a corner room that smelled vaguely of jasmine. Or what she’d been told jasmine smelled like – Mei had perfume she’d once dabbed on Nuri’s pulses.
Who knew she would like jasmine?
Did it matter?
Instead of bunks, a single bed had been made up with crisp white linen. On the bedside table was a small console, with a jack for a tablet. The wall opposite the bed even had a large screen and speakers. Even as she scanned this, a pop-up message informed her that the volume would have to be turned down after 10pm and should not exceed level four. Nuri suppressed a laugh.
A household bot came in and brought her packed her things – a luxury she’d not been allowed before.
“Would miss like a hot beverage?” it asked.
Nuri shook her head. “No thanks.”
She had a view overlooking a courtyard where they occasionally studied. The coral trees had their first bright-red flames of flowers, and with her AR’s helpful prompt, she accessed a few images that showed her what the coral trees would look like in full bloom; they were genetic modifications of –
Nuri muted the AR. Having explanations in her information feed robbed the scene before her of its beauty. Not that the buildings in the facility were at all lovely to look at, but this view across the courtyard, with its little benches and the rows of herb beds, made her happy.
A soft knock sounded on Nuri’s door.
“Come in,” she called out.
Mei opened the door a crack and peered around. “You got a better room than me! I have a view over the training fields. And you get the morning sunlight.”
Nuri cackled. “What’s your number?”
“I’m diagonally opposite you – 402.”
“At least we’re still together in a way.”
Mei went over to the window, misting the glass with her breath. “Not much longer now.”
Nuri sat down with a sigh. “It feels weird.”
“I almost feel sad,” Mei replied and came to perch on the other side of the bed, her hands folded in her lap. “It’s been a hell of an experience. I’m going to miss all this when I go back to my family.”
“You don’t think you’ll –”
Mei shook her head. “What are the chances?”
“Pretty good. We’re down to a hundred.”
“Only twenty will stand,” Mei said. “The next period will be tough. They’re going to work us hard. I’ve a feeling I’m going to come short. Besides, it’s been you all along.”
“You know there are no certainties,” Nuri said. “Even for me.”
Mei shrugged. “Dunno. I just have a feeling.”
“What? You’re precog too?”
“Runs in my family.”
“Come on, Mei – it’s not even a recognised psi-ability, and those feelings can be wrong as often as they’re right,” Nuri said.
“Allow me my fantasies.”
“But don’t you want to be avatar?” Nuri asked, genuinely puzzled.
“My mother and my grandmother want me to be avatar,” Mei said with unexpected bitterness.
“But you’re still here, and you’ve done really well with all the challenges. You’ve got some of the best academic scores out of all the Chosen.”
“It’s not worth my skin if I don’t excel.” Her mouth twisted into a grimace. “But I don’t see myself travelling between stars, away from my friends and family.”
“You wouldn’t be alone,” Nuri said. “You’d have the star-jumper.”
“Bonded forever to some alien intelligence?” Mei made it sound as if it were a death sentence. “Better that it’s you, and I can say I’ve at least had the honour of trying so my family won’t be disappointed.”
“What do you really want then? If not this, here?”
Mei gave a ragged laugh. “I want to be a veterinarian – and I have the scores. Family won’t hear of it, though. It’s too demeaning for a Merchanter to get animal blood on their hands. At best I’ll end up in charge of my family’s affairs at one of the trading posts. At worst I’ll be banished to one of the trade ships the blessed star-jumpers tow between solar systems. I can’t win, really. You have it lucky, you know that?”
“What?” Nuri felt the first stirrings of anger. “Getting myself shot at with arrows or pushed down stairs? Being spat on? Having nasty rumours spread about me? Having no one as family?”
Mei’s eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant!”
“Then what do you mean?”
“You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but your own.”
“Not true.” Nuri shook her head. “I have my patron. I represent his interests. He’s said he won’t be disappointed if I don’t become avatar, that he’ll adopt me despite him already having a daughter.”
“And is that such a bad thing?”
“I’m not some lost pupper.”
“I never said you were.” Mei clasped Nuri’s hand, and her skin was warm. “It doesn’t matter where you came from, but you’ve been given a fresh start. You are, in a sense, a blank slate. That Tien guy may have shady roots, but he’s also done a lot of good. My family has occasional business dealings with him, despite his reputation. He’s a man of his word, even if he’s not the sort of person you want to cross. It could be worse.”
“He has a long-standing feud with the boss I used to run for, which means he’s got really shady roots. In what, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to. For all I know, he intends for me to end up running for him. I was good – and with the training I’ve been receiving now, I’d be even better. Any fool would know that. Who knows what he’ll have me do.”
Mei sighed. “Be that as it may, you’re not in the barrens anymore. You’re a Citizen now. You have options.”
“At what cost?”
“There’s always a cost. You’re learning that now. None of us is free, but we can choose how we respond. Some of us will carry on as if the gilded bars to our cage are not there. Others will dash themselves senseless on the barrier they think they see.”
Nuri allowed herself a ragged laugh. “When did you become a philosopher?”
“Oh, ancestors, I sound like one of my aunts now.”
“You have aunts, a mother, siblings,” Nuri said wistfully.
“And I’d adopt you in a heartbeat. Promise me, Nuri, whatever happens, wherever our stars take us, that we’ll be friends forever.”
“Found sisters,” Nuri said, her heart warming.
“I like that. Sometimes the family you find in unexpected places are the best.”
Someo
ne knocked on the door, and Nuri surreptitiously swiped her eyes as she turned. “Who’s there?”
“Have you got a moment, luv?” It was Raphel.
“You’d better go,” Mei said, pulling Nuri up with her. “And you’ve got the best room by far, you lucky squirt.”
Raphel was waiting in the corridor, still dressed in his formal uniform except that he’d loosened the collar of his jacket a little. “Do you have time for a chat?”
Mei hurried past and gave a small wave before vanishing into her room.
“What’s wrong?” Nuri couldn’t help noticing the momentary fear that she’d done something.
“Nothing, but since you’re under my wing, so to speak, I’d like to check in on you.”
“I’m fine,” Nuri said, perhaps with a bit more force than she’d intended.
“Come.” Raphel turned and began to walk down the passage.
It would be rude to ignore him, but she couldn’t help but let out an exasperated sigh. This entire day had been upside-down.
Nuri trotted after him, aware of a few curious glances from other Chosen whose doors stood open. Let them wonder.
Raphel didn’t say anything as they hurried down the stairs; in fact, he was marching so fast, Nuri had to hurry to keep up with him. As it was, she ended up a pace or two behind until they exited from the common room onto the training fields. Only then did Raphel slow as he began what she realised would be a leisurely stroll around the track.
“When I was at the marine academy we had little free time,” Raphel said. “But my close friends and I, we’d often use our breaks to walk around the academy fields. Around and around, like little laboratory smeeks. There is something peaceful about feeling as if you can walk forever, even if it’s in circles.”
“Is this another one of your pep talks?” Nuri asked.
“You could call it such, if it makes you feel better.”
They walked in silence for a bit. It had to be close to lunch time now, and the wispy clouds allowed a hazy golden noon glow to settle on the grounds. It was almost warm, yet not enough for Nuri to worry about her skin burning.
Sing Down the Stars Page 14