“He needs some diapers,” Raf said.
“Little pussy,” Taz said. “Thought getting expelled was so cool until he got here.”
They all started to ramble about some kid named Danny. Some tough shit football player from another high school who got sent to Brooks Crest. He thought he was going to walk into the place and own it.
He walked into the place.
He grabbed Pissy Chrissy’s ass. He made a comment about Mel.
And when he came face to face with BC, he realized how fucked he was.
And we didn’t work in the business of warnings either.
We were in the business of action.
We took action.
Strange enough, when we broke Danny’s cocky boy shell, he started to piss himself.
Again and again.
Mac stepped up next to me and put his hand on the skull.
I looked at him.
“It’s time for this,” he said.
“Yeah, it is,” I said. “Shit changes. Can’t stay in one place for too long.”
“Or with the same girl,” Mac said. “That shit’ll catch up to you, Barr.”
He winked at me and took the skull from my hand.
He put it back on the desk and walked away.
Mac knew more about that than I cared to admit.
“What if we make him piss himself and then make him drink it?” Aric asked.
“Make him take his pants off and wring them out into a cup,” Les said.
“You sick fucks,” Mac said. “We have bigger things to handle.”
I took a deep breath and turned around.
I walked to the door to get there before Mac.
When I opened the door, I nodded and curled my lip.
“Let’s go make a fucking mess of our lives, brothers.”
* * *
There was a table with a black bag on it.
It was myself and Mac.
The others were outside waiting.
Two guys stood at the other side of the table.
Everything looked cheap but it was expensive. The entire situation was very expensive. My focus wasn’t on what was going to happen. What could have went right or wrong. All I could think about was finding Mel in my bed after class. Tucked into my bed, curled up in my covers, sleeping. And how I snuck next to her in my bed and when she opened her eyes she told me she was just tired and having a bad day.
So I held her and she held me and we just hung out in silence with the soft glow of the Christmas lights in my secret room. We made out more than a few times and eventually I joined her under the covers, we pulled them up over our head and then we-
“We know where to go, asshole,” Mac said.
I snapped back to reality.
Mac had the bag in his hand.
One of the guys flipped the table.
The other came toward me.
“You’re too quiet,” he said to me.
Without thinking, I threw a right fist.
It was just a natural reaction to keep myself protected.
“Holy fuck, yes,” Mac yelled as the guy dropped to the ground.
The other guy ran toward us and Mac tossed me the black bag.
He threw two punches and that guy stumbled back.
“We have to go,” I said.
Mac turned, laughing, and we ran to the door.
This wasn’t some fuck around situation.
It wasn’t something at Brooks Crest.
This was real.
Really real.
I opened the door to the abandoned building and saw Taz, Raf, Les, and Aric all tangled up with other guys in some kind of crazy brawl.
I looked at Mac.
He took a deep breath. “Going to get bloody now, brother.”
“Yeah, it is,” I said.
“Don’t lose the bag,” Mac said.
“Never,” I said.
We ran into the brawl and it was nothing but chaos.
The two guys from inside the building came out to join the fun, making it a fair fight.
The only problem was the bag.
I had to keep an eye on it and that left me open to take a few hits.
And these dudes could throw a punch.
Each time I got hit, I fucking felt it.
I then saw my opening and took off toward my SUV.
I let out a whistle and Mac saw me.
“We have to do this,” I yelled to him.
He got in one more punch and then he started to run too.
We all piled into the black SUV with blackened windows and black rims and we took off.
“Who the fuck was that?” Raf asked.
“Don’t worry about that,” Mac said as he looked in the mirror.
“What was that?” Les asked. “I thought we were picking up a bag?”
“Shit never goes the way it’s supposed to,” I said. “Leave it. We need to make this ride and then get back to BC.”
“I can take care of it,” Mac said.
I looked at him. “Alone?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Mac said. “Your face is a little fucked up, brother. What happened? Forget how to fight?”
“I thought they were coming for the bag,” I said. “I wasn’t exactly focused.”
I grabbed the rearview mirror and moved it to so I could see myself.
“Shit,” I whispered. “Take the wheel, Mac.”
Mac reached across the seat and kept the SUV steady.
The corner of my right eye was busted open, along with my lip. And my nose was bloody.
I looked like I was in a fight.
I took the wheel from Mac and shook my head.
“That was a hell of a rush,” Aric said. “Those other guys came out of nowhere.”
“Just making sure we’re legit,” Mac said. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry about,” Taz said.
He reached forward and patted my shoulder.
“They won’t follow us,” Mac said. “Just head back to BC now. I’ll make the run to drop this off.”
“I’ll go too,” Taz said.
“Don’t want too many of us showing up, huh?” I asked.
“We did it, brother,” Mac said. He put a fist up for me. “Snakes n cigs.”
“Yeah,” I said. I put my fist to his. “Snakes n cigs.”
The rest of the guys did the same.
I drove back to Brooks Crest.
I parked outside of the biggest dorm house where we all stayed.
Well, where I used to stay.
I spent more time in my secret room than ever before.
Mac grabbed the bag and opened the passenger door.
He looked back at me. “You could come if you want, Barr. I’m not cutting you out. This is for all of us. You know that.”
I nodded. “I know. But you worked the deal. So wrap it up.”
“I’m the protection,” Taz said.
“What do you think, Barr?” Raf asked.
“We’re good,” I said. “You guys want to go?”
There was silence.
Mac got out of the SUV and walked to his motorcycle.
Taz walked to the motorcycle and they stood there, waiting for me to make a move.
I shut off the SUV and looked back at the others.
“Take a few to unwind,” I said. “I’m in the mood for a nest night.”
“Fuck yes,” Aric said.
“We’ll see what happens,” I said. “At the very least, we party tonight.”
We all got out of the SUV.
I walked until I was out of sight from Mac and Taz.
Then I stopped.
I told the others I was going to have a smoke.
Instead, I waited and watched.
Taz walked to his car and reached into the backseat to get a black bag. It was damn close to the same one Mac had. He tossed that bag to Mac.
Mac then handed him the one we had picked up.
They both grinned and hit thei
r fists together.
I nodded and started to walk away.
The house was behind me.
BC was behind me.
Snakes n’ cigs… everything I started… that was behind me.
Mac was setting things up behind my back. Twisting outside deals for his benefit behind my back. And that meant he was going to end up either trying to hurt me himself or set me up to be hurt.
I lit a cigarette and told myself it was okay to get pissed.
Instead, I just wanted to see Mel.
* * *
I had the cigarette between my lips as I climbed up the metal steps as quiet as I could. It was getting dark out. Raf and Aric had been texting me, wanting to know about nest night. I told them I would be there later. We weren’t going to have a nest night tonight. Unless Mac wanted to head it up.
Which was risky.
It was like I was just giving up all the power I worked so hard to get.
Just putting my hand out and saying take the fucking thing and that was that.
Maybe that’s exactly what was happening.
Time would eventually put me in a position to get the hell out of BC.
I just needed a way to keep Mel with me…
I pulled myself to the top step and I heard the sound of my keyboard playing.
I stayed quiet and hurried to kill off my cigarette. I flicked it off the railing to the ground down below.
Then I crouched and watched.
Mel had pulled an old desk chair to the bed and sat in it, the keyboard in front of her.
She was wearing really short shorts that climbed way too far up her legs.
She had on an old flannel shirt of mine that looked more like a cardigan or something.
The sleeves went well over the back of her hands, even with them rolled up a bunch of times.
If that wasn’t the greatest sight in the world, I didn’t know what was.
Seeing her sitting in my secret room, wearing an old shirt of mine, without much else on besides that, playing a song.
A soft and sweet song too.
She hit a wrong note and stopped.
“Fuck,” she whispered to herself.
She ran a hand over her messy hair and took a deep breath.
Then went right back at it.
This time, she hit the right note and kept going.
She was getting better at it.
I knew she was skipping classes like crazy. All she wanted to do was hide out in my secret room and sleep and play the keyboard. And play with me.
I leaned forward and put my hands to the open window.
My eye throbbed in pain. My lip tasted like blood. It was hard to breathe through my nose too.
But in that moment, none of that stuff mattered.
It was about listening to Mel play.
With each note, I felt more alive and more healed.
Whatever that meant.
She finished her song and quickly turned her head.
She gasped when she saw me.
“You scared m-”
She cut herself off.
She covered her mouth.
“It’s nothing, love,” I said.
“It’s never nothing, Barr.”
I stayed outside the window. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Keep playing. I need this right now, Mel.”
“What’s going on…”
“Nothing bad,” I said. “I promise. Do you love me?”
“Yes. You know that.”
“That’s all I need to know. Play for me, love.”
Mel faced the keyboard again.
I stayed outside the window.
I lit a cigarette and watched how nervous she was now.
She finally shut her eyes and took a deep breath.
She started to play and it was perfect.
I turned and sat down outside the window, my back against the old bricks.
It was dark out and I smoked my cigarette slowly.
Mel played her song.
I shut my eyes.
My right eye still hurt.
I touched my left eye and was surprised to find a tear waiting for me.
It wasn’t for Mel but it was because of Mel.
Because there was an end to everything… and I already knew ours was quickly approaching…
Chapter 13
I couldn’t sleep.
I wasn’t a fan of the couch and I wasn’t a fan of Mel being in the bedroom by herself. More than anything else I wasn’t a fan of the goddamn guesthouse anymore. But this was where I brought Mel and it’s where she felt comfortable.
At least for now.
There was no plan in place for us.
Which wasn’t like me.
It was definitely like her though.
Mel always lived without a plan.
I smoked another cigarette well past midnight and walked along the side of Kip’s pool. Like a lion in a cage, pacing, waiting for a meal to be thrown its way.
“Barr?”
I froze and looked to my right.
In a way, it was my meal.
Mel stepped out of the guesthouse, wearing my hoodie, hugging herself.
It looked like she wasn’t wearing pants again, which she might not have been. Her feet were small and stubby. And she hated her feet. Anytime she had to take her socks off and I could see, she would curl her toes or sit on her feet.
I loved her feet.
I loved everything about her.
“What are you doing awake?” I asked her.
“Same as you,” she said.
“You know me,” I said.
“Yeah. Just pacing, thinking, trying to plan everything out at once.”
I grinned. “This time there is no plan, love. Not with everything going on the way it is.”
“So talk to me,” she said as she walked toward me.
“Get some sleep,” I said. “Who knows what the morning will bring.”
“Are you worried about Mac?”
“I don’t worry, Mel. I think. I run things through my head.”
“In other words… you worry.”
I tossed my cigarette away and took the last two steps of distance between us.
“I can’t get it out of my head, love,” I said. “Your mother’s boyfriend. There’s a lot there. And you don’t like giving up a lot. But that leaves me thinking a lot too.”
“You already told me you were going to make me talk in the morning.”
“It’s morning right now.”
“Not the real morning,” she said.
She inched even closer and slowly put her hands out toward me. I didn’t move an inch as she slid her arms around me and hugged me. I let out a long breath and felt her head resting against my chest.
Fuck. Yes.
I put my lips to the top of her head.
That was Mel’s way of asking me to not push at her anymore.
I nodded.
She was the only person I ever met that I could have a true conversation with in silence and feel okay about it.
“You know what I wish I had right now, Barr?” Mel asked.
I loved the feeling of her voice vibrating against my chest.
“What’s that, love?” I asked.
“You playing piano. Right now. Just the sound of it. Soft and soothing. Maybe that crappy keyboard you used to have. Remember that?”
I smiled. “I remember it.”
“Whatever happened to all of that?”
Mel lifted her gaze to mine.
“I don’t know,” I said to her. “When I got out of there, I just left.”
“Everything… behind?”
“All of it, love,” I whispered. “There wasn’t a thing I wanted to take. I had caused enough damage. I hurt too many people. That was it for me.”
“Do you miss it? BC?”
“I’m good here,” I said. “I came back and met up with Pres and Kip. It was pretty clear the way things were going at BFH. There’s two different buildings her
e. One on each side of the town. That’s where the East vs West comes from. A lot of it is old shit but it was something happening. So I came back and wanted to do something. Honestly, I just wanted to forget everything and everyone.”
“You wanted to forget me?”
I shook my head.
“Barr, don’t lie,” Mel said.
“I hurt you so much, love.”
“Did you want to forget me?”
I reached for her face and cupped it in my hands. “Yeah. I wanted to forget you. I had to forget you. I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t forget you.”
“But you never did, Barr.”
“I never could, Mel,” I said. “We didn’t end anything. We didn’t break up. Mac made his move. I knew it was coming. I didn’t try to stop it. I didn’t fight back. All I wanted was to take your hand and bring you with me.”
Mel forced a laugh. “And we just keep going in circles. That makes it my fault then.”
“Nothing was ever your fault.”
Mel pulled my hands from her. “Except everything that was my fault.”
She surprised me when she interlocked her fingers into mine.
When she started walking backward toward the guesthouse, I followed her.
She didn’t look back unless it was to make sure she wasn’t going to crash into anything.
We went into the house in silence.
I kicked the door shut behind me.
Then she moved toward the bedroom.
I gritted my teeth.
“It’s okay, Barr,” she whispered. “I can’t sleep alone anymore. Or at least right now. Don’t try anything funny.”
“I’m not in the mood to be funny,” I said.
“You’re always in a funny mood.”
I kicked the bedroom door shut and then pulled Mel toward me.
My hands touched the bottom of the hoodie and I had to know if she was dressed under there or not.
My fingertips touched the tight, lacey line of her panties.
I moved my fingertips up, under the hoodie.
Her stomach fluttered to my touch and I saw her lip slowly curling.
Stuck between what she wanted and what she knew would mess everything up even more.
My right hand stopped at her stomach and my left hand climbed up. I slid my hand around to her back and felt nothing but skin. Which meant she wasn’t wearing a bra. Which meant if I wanted to touch…
I eased my hands away from her and walked to the bed.
I listened to her take a deep breath in and exhale it slowly.
BARR: a bay falls high novel Page 11