by Rye Brewer
Aidan nodded, looking nervous again for some reason. “Yeah, of course. Are you not going to tell her about… you know…?”
I sighed quietly and glanced up at the ceiling. “I will eventually, I’m sure. But I’m just not ready to come clean about it all until I fully understand it myself. I mean, you were never meant to know the full truth, either so…”
Aidan smiled softly; the expression tinged with an apology.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “I should’ve told you that I would be able to hear everything. I figured that you just missed your mom and wanted to chat. I didn’t think the conversation would be quite so… intense.”
“It’s okay,” I told him, meaning it.
For some reason, I didn’t mind that someone knew my secret. At least it felt more real and less of a nightmare that way.
At least I wasn’t alone.
Even if the person who knew the truth about my witch-dragon-hybrid nature was the last person on earth, I would’ve ever thought to trust with any personal information about myself… I was suddenly beginning to see Aidan in a different light.
Nothing made sense anymore.
We stood there for a moment longer, with Aidan making no moves to walk away back to the necromancer dorms.
My stomach twisted when I realized that he might be about to kiss me again.
Kissing me to snap me out of a spiral of anxiety was one thing. Kissing me goodnight was another disaster entirely.
I didn’t think I was ready for that.
So, in an effort to stop any advances from Aidan in their tracks, I opened my door, gave him an awkward wave and half-hearted smile in goodbye, and shut it in his face.
Then I collapsed against the door, finally in blissful solitude.
I heard Aidan’s footsteps wander away after he stood for a moment longer at my door, probably wondering why I’d just slammed it in his face like a socially inept weirdo.
I was a mess.
15
As expected, I couldn’t sleep.
At first, I sat up in bed, back against the wall, staring into space as I attempted to puzzle through the events of that night.
Shortly after Aidan dropped me off at my dorm, I felt the telltale breeze of an air witch sending me a message. Sure enough, a crumpled piece of notebook paper with Kendra’s handwriting scribbled hastily on it plopped into my lap a second later.
What are you doing skulking around the castle with Aidan freaking Grimsbane after curfew?
I sighed and thought about not answering, but I knew that would only result in Kendra coming to knock on my door immediately. It wasn’t that I wanted to keep my best friend in the dark. In fact, I felt pretty bad about not coming clean to her from the beginning.
But I just wasn’t ready to talk about all of this new information. Not even with her. Kendra was kind and patient and a really good listener, and I was sure that she wouldn’t judge me negatively for the truth of my dragon shifter blood.
And yet… you could never be certain. Kendra was a Shadowmend witch, after all. Almost as influential as the Bloodworth coven, the Shadowmends were known for being just as exclusive and just as unforgiving in their judgments of non-witch magical creatures.
I couldn’t bear the thought of Kendra hating me, let alone hating me for something I couldn’t even control. I wasn’t ready to take the risk.
So, I smoothed out the piece of notebook paper and grabbed a pen from my desk. I wrote back.
I’ll tell you soon. Promise.
Then, I balled the piece of paper and enclosed it in my palm. With a deep breath, I summoned my witch fire and set it aflame, sending it back to Kendra and leaving a tiny pile of ash in my palm that I brushed into the trashcan.
I waited a few minutes but didn’t get another message from her, so I figured I was in the clear, at least for the rest of the night.
Or, rather, rest of the morning. At this point, it was past midnight. I was quite sure the sun would be rising in a few hours, and I felt grateful that it was the weekend, and there were no classes tomorrow. There was no way that I could focus on studying when I’d only just learned that I was half-dragon.
Desperate to clear my mind, I lay my head down on my pillow and shut my eyes. I willed for sleep to come, praying for my busy mind to quiet and my hammering heart to hush.
Of course, I didn’t fall asleep. I dozed on and off for hours, tossing and turning in the sheets with growing frustration.
My mother’s words echoed in the back of my mind.
I came to learn that he was something much worse. At that point, I already knew I was pregnant. And I had a feeling that our child would be cursed like him…
Something much worse.
Cursed.
Although my mother was one of the nicest witches, as explained to me by pretty much everyone who knew her after she died, it was clear that she wasn’t devoid of prejudice.
She was, after all, a Bloodworth. Even though newer generations were becoming more progressive and more open to accepting all magical creatures, stereotypes remained. Even I had been guilty of unfair prejudice before. For example, whenever Under Realm Academy played Briar Academy, I always found myself thinking of the animal shifters with a sour taste in my mouth. Two months ago, hadn’t I been thinking how strange it was that a school would let in people like that?
And now, as it turned out, I was a person like that.
Admittedly, I felt ashamed of myself. Sure, animal shifters of all breeds tended to be a little more aggressive than the rest of us, but that didn’t mean that they were barbaric. In fact, witches and demons and necromancers and soul reapers were just as monstrous.
At the end of the day, we were all creatures that were capable of frightful things.
What mattered was what we chose to do with our powers.
I thought of Aidan. Even though he’d hardly ever been kind to me before, he chose to use his powers to help me talk to my dead mother. I still wasn’t sure why he’d been nice enough to do something like that for me. I wasn’t exactly a sweetheart to him either over the years.
And what did I do with my powers?
I certainly didn’t hurt anybody. I only wanted to brew potions and make fun little balls of flames. Truthfully, I just wanted to mind my business and enjoy magic.
I lay in the dark, eyes essentially glued open as I stared at the dim shadows of my bedroom, and I made a vow to myself.
I pledged that I wouldn’t allow the dragon shifter within me to make me violent. No matter how betrayed by my mother and my Aunt Inez I felt, I wouldn’t let it turn me into the kind of person who was spiteful and acted wrongfully.
Even if the dragon body that simmered under my skin was capable of severe harm, what with sharp claws, fiery breath, and what I was sure would be quite powerful wings, I would never hurt someone on purpose.
Everyone could do bad things, no matter their nature. Being good was a choice.
I wanted to make that choice.
With a huff, I sat up in my bed. There was no way I would get any sleep, and I knew it was better to simply give up.
I decided to go for another walk, my feet silently carrying me through the castle. I gazed out of the wide windows with their thick, wavy glass. On the horizon, the deep blue color of the night was just barely begun to fade to a shade of light that hinted at the sunrise that would eventually come.
Subconsciously, I knew that I was looking for him again.
He’d probably gone to bed. I couldn’t imagine how exhausting it must have been for him to use his necromancer powers for hours, come running after me into the forest, and then talk me down from a disastrous panic attack.
If I were Aidan, I would’ve collapsed into my bed and slept for the next day or two.
But something told me that he wasn’t sound asleep.
Sure enough, I found him in the empty senior lounge, perched in one of the window seats with his elbows resting on his knees. He was staring out the window at the treetops as their
pointy tips became more defined against the lightening sky.
I approached quietly but was sure to make my footsteps loud enough so that he would be aware of my presence and not be startled.
He didn’t look up when I sat beside him on the spare bit of cushion on the window seat. I mirrored his position, pulling my knees in close to my chest and turning my face toward the image of the icy morning unfolding before us.
We sat in mutual silence.
It felt nice. It felt… comforting.
“Sorry you can’t sleep,” I finally said. “I didn’t mean to put you through such an eventful night.”
I didn’t look at him when I spoke, my gaze still trained on the horizon. In my peripheral vision, Aidan shifted slightly, but he, too, was focused on the world outside the castle.
“You didn’t force me to do anything, Moira,” he replied quietly.
More silence.
After a moment, he spoke again. “Your mom said that your father died before you were born.”
That caused me to finally glance at him. I didn’t realize he’d been thinking so deeply about the details of the conversation he overheard, but it didn’t upset me. I figured that if I also had been privy to something like that, I’d have a hard time forgetting it, too.
Aidan looked up. His expression was both somber and curious.
I nodded. “Yes, he is dead.”
“And his name… it’s Marius, right?”
Marius Alexi Draco.
It was a powerful name. One that commanded attention and implied great strength. The part of me that had once yearned to know who my father was, the part that the Bloodworth coven had attempted to keep quiet for most of my life, was beginning to be awakened again.
Aidan bit his lip. He looked as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should.
“What is it?” I pressed, urging him to speak his mind.
“It’s just… if your father is dead, I can help you speak to him. Only if you wanted to, of course.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. Why hadn’t I thought of that? It hadn’t even occurred as an option to me.
“But don’t you need some kind of physical artifact from the dead person?”
Aidan shrugged. “It strengthens the connection, but it’s not necessary. The fact that he’s your father and his blood runs in your veins might suffice. I’m strong enough.”
I nodded slowly. I knew that Aidan was a talented necromancer, but I didn’t realize that he was that skilled at speaking to the dead.
I was learning all sorts of new things about him that night.
“Um…” I wasn’t sure what to say.
Aidan sat upright and tossed his legs over the side of the window seat, taking my silence as a cue that he’d said something wrong.
“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “That was rude of me. You probably don’t want to invite me in on any more personal family conversations.”
Surprising both of us, I snorted quietly. “Aidan, when have you ever cared about how rude you are to me?”
The slightest hint of color rose to his cheeks as he chuckled and dropped his head. “I don’t know why I’m so unpleasant sometimes.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know why I’m so unpleasant, either. Just happens.”
Aidan’s smile deepened, showcasing those dimples.
I glanced back out the window.
“Would you really do something like that for me, though?” I asked him, my voice so soft that I was worried he might not hear me.
“I can’t imagine what you must be feeling like right now,” he responded. “If there’s any way that I can help to make this whole thing easier for you, I want to.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I was desperate to know what had shifted in the past day between us. It felt like the earth had completely tilted off its axis. What once was up was now down and vice versa.
My first thought, Moira Bloodsworth and Aidan Grimsbane used to be enemies.
Now we were… friends? Frenemies? Acquaintances?
Who really knew?
Aidan sighed softly. He shrugged dramatically, his entire body moving with the gesture.
“Well, it turns out that you’re not quite as annoying as I used to think you were,” Aidan replied. “You’re kind of nice to talk to.”
I pursed my lips but could hardly keep the grin off my face.
“I’m glad you don’t think I’m annoying anymore,” I told him.
“No, I said not quite as annoying.”
I snorted and shook my head. “This is so weird.”
“Tell me about it,” Aidan replied. “Want me to go back to being mean to you?”
I snickered at that. “No, it’s okay. I’m good.”
He nodded, smiling easily. “My offer is still good, by the way. We don’t have to right now, of course, but I’m more than happy to reach out and see if I can get your father’s ghost on the ol’ necromancer hotline for you.”
I thought about it for a moment.
I had no excuse for my hesitation. I’d already been deluged with so much information and chaos that night, what could a little more shock do to me? At that point, I almost felt as if nothing could knock me off my feet anymore.
In one swift motion, I slid off the window seat and stood in front of Aidan. “Okay,” I told him. “Let’s do it.”
“Right now?”
“Right now.”
He nodded and rose, following me as I marched out of the senior lounge.
We ended up back in the hidden turret behind Adelaide Darkmore’s marble statue. Dove-gray light floated in through the tall, narrow windows of the turret and cast the small room in a peaceful glow.
By the time we made it back out of there, curfew hours would be over, and we’d be able to walk freely back to our rooms. I hoped that, by then, I would be tired enough to finally sleep.
Being enclosed in such a small, quiet, private space with Aidan caused my stomach to flip in an unfamiliar way.
As we sat down across from each other on the blanket that was still on the floor and I lit the candles with my witch fire, I couldn’t stop myself from recalling the memory of his lips on mine.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to kiss him again.
But I also wasn’t sure if I didn’t want to kiss him again.
I knew that didn’t make sense at all, but not a whole lot about my current emotional state made sense.
Aidan held out his hands for mine, and I placed them into his palms without hesitation. Sitting cross-legged in front of each other, holding hands caused both of us to have flushed cheeks; neither one of us able to deny that something had undoubtedly shifted between us. Still, both of us were willing to ignore it for the moment.
And yet… when Aidan’s eyes flicked down to my lips for the smallest of seconds, I felt my heart dip pleasantly.
I forced those thoughts out of my head. That was going to have to be a problem for a different day.
“Okay, so I guess you should just focus on his name and… sort of your own energy,” Aidan instructed me. “Try to focus on the dragon shifter part of yourself. That might help a little bit.”
I nodded and closed my eyes as he did as well.
I inhaled and exhaled slowly, focusing on the sound of my father’s name, which I’d only just learned a handful of hours ago.
I summoned the mental image of a flame. I recalled the feeling of smoke in my lungs, of the wings itching and burning to be released from between my shoulders, of the dirt giving way underneath my claws. I summoned the memory of my flying dream, soaring over mountains with my arms and my wings outstretched.
Time passed without any luck, but I remained focused. I didn’t want to give up on Aidan as I had before, too impatient to let him work his necromancer magic. After all, he’d been successful in the end. He’d managed to reach my mother even though he’d never met her himself.
So, I had no doubt that he would be able to reach out to my father.
I felt overwhelmingly anxious to see my father for the first time. What if he didn’t even recognize me? What if he had no idea who I was? What if, in the afterlife, he’d simply forgotten that he even had a living daughter?
Worse yet, what if he was cruel? What if he told me to never reach out to him ever again? What if he regretted ever being with my mother, and I was nothing but an embarrassment to him because I was half-witch?
I told myself that I would just have to deal with those things as they came. I knew I was strong. After the night I’d had, I felt like I could handle pretty much anything.
I jumped at the sound of Aidan’s sudden huff of frustration.
Opening my eyes, I quirked an eyebrow at him in question. He pulled his hands away from mine and threw them up in a gesture of exasperation.
Much to my surprise, the light in the room had changed to orange-gold. We’d been meditating for much longer than I thought, both of us desperately calling out to the ghost of a man neither one of us knew.
“It’s impossible,” Aidan sighed. “I’m trying my best, I promise.”
I shrugged casually, though I did feel a sense of disappointment. “It’s okay. Maybe my blood just isn’t strong enough to summon him.”
“No, it’s not that,” Aidan insisted, shaking his head. There was a glimmer of something in his eyes that I couldn’t decipher. Revelation? Fright? Anxiety?
He sighed and took my hands in his again, but not to try to reach out to my father this time. Instead, he captured me in an intense gaze, and I felt my stomach drop at the somberness in his eyes.
“Moira, I could reach out to dozens of generations of your ancestors with your blood alone,” Aidan whispered to me urgently. “They were all there, waiting to make themselves known to you. Literally, every single one of your dead relatives… except for your father.”
“What, so he’s just rejecting your call?” I asked, confused about the oddly unsettling tension that had settled over the room.
“No, it’s not like with your mother,” Aidan told me, shaking his head. “Before, I knew she was there, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to reach out fully. That’s why it took so long before. But, with your father… it’s like he just isn’t there at all.”