He saw the resignation in her and smiled then, disarming her completely by the beauty of his face; that face she knew so well, and had drifted off to sleep with for so many years. His slightly crooked, mostly white teeth, slightly bent nose, and now graying eyebrows which were perfectly shaped above dark brown eyes. There were more lines there than she’d expected to see - this last few months had left an indelible mark on him. She frowned as she realized that he too, was caught up in this as a victim, not a perpetrator. She softened her own gaze at him further and relaxed her shoulders. If he had turned up here with an agenda, he’d not be sitting there looking like such a wounded child unsure how to apologize for his puppy pissing in the corner.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Margaret waited for him to say something. He seemed uncharacteristically stuck for words, but then she had to acknowledge that they were both surprised to see each other. He stirred from his thoughts, moving his gaze away from her own, and looking around the room. “You’re right,” he said, “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I didn’t think you’d ever go back to this line of work, was what I think I was trying to say.”
“Well what did you think I’d be doing? Knitting sweaters while I wait for my children to magically escape the evil clutches of your mother and return through my open door to my weeping self?” she replied, scowling at him. “Surely you, of all people, know me much better than that.”
Her very direct gaze, on the back of her well-aimed words, was disarming. He realized that she was indeed in an untenable position. Was it her imagination or did he actually squirm in his seat a little? His discomfort certainly worked well for her confidence and she pushed forward. With considerable effort he made himself not look away as she continued her tirade. “You have allowed this to happen - or at the very least not attempted to stop it. Where have you been all this time? I waited, I tried to call you. And you just turned away. Even before your mother turned up, you could have come home and we could have talked about everything.” Her blue eyes blazed, and he clutched his now empty glass for comfort, his eyes flickering for a moment at the bar, like drowning man searching the horizon for help. She caught his momentary desperation and held up her finger, pointing it firmly in his direction. “I’m a victim in this too you know. I have not one single clue about what my husband and your wife were up to, and as for taking any indignant moral high ground, Nathaniel bloody Cook, I have just as much right to question you and your complicity in all this, given that it’s your mother who seems to have actually been the main player in this entire charade!” As Margaret paused for barely a moment to draw breath, he looked at her, longing for her passion to be spent with him again rather than used against him, but he realized of course that she was right. He had in fact let this happen. “What did you honestly think I’d be doing? I am not the kind of woman to bow down to the likes of Sybil Cook.” “In fact, I would love to go a couple of rounds with her one day and I’m damned sure I’d grind her into the pavement in two short minutes. Who does she think she is? For God’s sake Nate, are you just going to sit there and let me go on like this? Have you nothing to say at all? Jeez you just… just… oohhh!!!” Spent, she muttered her anger, trying hard to keep her voice low, but ran out of words as the emotional stresses of the past few months nearly overwhelmed her. Lines she’d been rehearsing in her head had poured forth, and while there was certainly not enough said, there was already far too much spoken for the moment.
He watched as the fight slowly seeped out of her, and she looked down at her own glass, before slugging back its contents and setting it back firmly on the table. She drew a deep breath and looked at him again. This time, longing was evident in her face, and he felt an overwhelming wave of love for her; a need to want to reach out and take her hand in his across the table. He pushed down the notion, but looked kindly at her as she resumed talking.
“Have you seen them? Of course you have. They are here. You are here. Are they OK? Is Maureen taking the changes well or… and is Lewis…? Oh I miss him and his soft baby cheeks so much.” She stifled a sob and her eyes filled with unshedable tears. No, she told herself, she must not give in to that. Forcing herself to stay calm by clutching one hand in the other and nearly breaking her little finger in pain to distract her from the pain in her heart she waited, and he was kind enough to not keep her waiting long.
“Maureen is, well, she’s angry, frustrated by not being able to see you, or find out what is going to happen. I think she gets on better with the servants than with me or anyone else right now - I’ve been away a bit of course, and I’m sure she’s also angry at me for that.” He half smiled at a memory of her blazing eyes at him just like her mother’s earlier that day. Maureen was always quick to anger, but equally as fast at getting her thoughts spat out and then resuming a calm cheerful exterior. “But tomorrow we’re going sailing on the harbor and to get ice-creams, so I think she’s looking forward to that. Lewis of course can’t wait. He loves the ships, and the wind in his hair, and I think maybe has dreams of being a pirate. He’s doing OK. Misses you too of course. And Maureen looks after him very well…” He trailed off. Then gave in to his desire to just reach out and touch her. They locked hands and eyes, and he was firm in his voice when he spoke again. “Come with us.”
Margaret looked up, unsure if she’d heard him correctly. Eyes wide, brows raised, she opened her mouth but he interrupted her reply. “Come sailing with us. Tomorrow, at 10, we’re leaving the Darling Point Wharf, and it will be only the three of us. Mother doesn’t have to know, and well, it’s just that…” The figure of Tim loomed unexpectedly at the side of their booth.
“Margaret, you’re up.” He looked at Nathaniel and then at her. “Is this man bothering you?”
“Ahhh, no, Tim, it’s alright. I’ll be right there.” She smiled at him as he turned away. She rose immediately, aware that she had in fact taken a longer than justified break and needed to return to the stage. Nathaniel had dropped her hand when Tim appeared, but he reached out to grab her arm as she started past him. “10, Darling Point Wharf…. We all would love to see you. Please.”
She barely nodded and turned away. Her own thoughts racing with questions, her head was pounding with the very thought of seeing Maureen and Lewis, let alone, her strong feelings about seeing Nate again.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The next morning, Nate, Maureen and Lewis, all three holding hands, ventured up the gangway to the tall ship. Nate looked around hoping that she’d be there, but unwilling to guarantee it enough to tell the children. He paused at the top and he looked behind him. No, there was no sign. He had made sure they’d be early, but with still 30 minutes to go, it was going to be a long and distracted wait if she didn’t arrive in time. He decided to set Maureen and Lewis to the task of counting the other ships in the harbor and leaned against the railing to wait. After five minutes, he was growing impatient, and half answering questions by Lewis about what kind of pirates might have once been on this ship, when he saw her walking confidently along the dock, wearing a red coat, hat tipped low over one eye, and looking for all the world like she’d just arrived from Paris. Tall, beautiful, she was appreciatively looked over by a group of sailors loading a net filled with crates onto another ship nearby. One of them whistled and she pretended not to notice them.
At the bottom of the gangway, Margaret hesitated for a moment, perhaps checking if she was at the right place, spoke briefly to the man standing there, then, hand on her hat, she started up. She looked up and saw him instantly and smiled widely, showing white teeth well framed by her brightly painted perfect red lips. Waving slightly, she boarded the ship and he took a step toward her, returning her smile. For all world it was as though they had seen each other every day for the past few months, not been estranged. The feelings each held for the other would have been evident to anyone, but a puzzling moment for anyone watching the ensuing reunion with two young children screaming out ‘Mama’ as they flung themselves at her. She fell slightly and
ended up sitting with both offspring straddled on her outstretched legs and clinging tightly to her neck and each other, enveloping together in a hug filled with love and joyful tears.
She looked them each over carefully, as a mother does after being separated from her young, noting length of hair, cleanliness of ears; the weight of each child being both observed and felt for through clothing as they hugged. Finally, laughing, they all went to stand up and Nathaniel helped her to her feet, giving her a warm kiss on the cheek in welcome too. Not letting go of her hand, he then kissed it, and finally she hugged him, grateful for this wonderful opportunity to reunite for the day.
While the warmth of their affection was noted and smiled upon by several other passengers, they had all missed the casting off of the ropes and found to their surprise that they were already underway on their voyage. The ship tilted slightly, nearly causing Margaret to fall and Nate put a firm arm around her waist, as they all went to sit on a bench close by.
By the time they reached it, however, both Lewis and Maureen were nearly hysterically sobbing. The excitement of seeing their mother unexpectedly was almost too much to bear and the next 30 minutes of so was taken up calming everyone down. The day passed with wonder and laughter and then finally all too soon they were tying up at the dock once again, with passengers disembarking ahead of them. Nate had held back, not wanting any of it to end. Having his family back together had affected him far more than he wanted to let on, and he had no idea how to even begin discussing the necessary things that needed to be addressed with Margaret. Finally, he suggested to the children that they go and get ice-cream in the park before going home.
It was still only early afternoon, and while they’d eaten a light lunch on the ship, the reality was that none of them had been able to eat much and all were still hungry. Lewis therefore ended up with a rather large ice-cream cone that quickly dribbled everywhere, meaning that by the time the others were barely starting theirs, his was a sticky mess and his clothes were in total disarray. Margaret handed her ice-cream to Nate, plucked a large handkerchief from her purse and started to wipe down her son’s messy face as he sat on her lap. Soon he was cuddled up sleeping on her and she found a tree to sit beside and lean back on. Maureen finished her ice-cream and then went to play on the swings nearby, giving Nate and Margaret a much- needed opportunity to talk.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“I’ve missed you, Margaret.” Nate said softly. Sitting beside her and their sleeping son, he was moved to a deeply caring moment of longing and despair at their current situation.
“I’ve missed you too.” Margaret replied quietly, her lips pressed against Lewis’s baby soft hair. He was still a little sticky in places, and yet smelled like her baby, and she had to stifle the urge to not just hold him tightly to her body and run like the wind, all way back to their lovely home in Auckland. To their old life - the way things had been. So long ago it seemed now.
He was unsure if she meant she missed him, or them, or all of them, but Nate was sure that she was dreadfully unhappy. He knew this woman better than he knew himself. She was an integral part of him and he was quite simply lost without her. He knew that now and was completely unwilling to live without her. “Margaret, I know that there’s much to work out, but I want us to be together as a family, permanently. Now that Anthea is gone, in time I intend for us all to be reunited, and that means married.” She looked at him, wondering just how much he meant these words that sounded so dear to her. She could see in his eyes that he was deadly serious. She held her breath, wondering what that might actually mean. Choosing to stay silent in the hope he would continue, she waited.
“I know that I need to stand up to my mother. I can see that very clearly. But…” Oh, I knew there would be one of those buts, thought Margaret. “I know how important it is for us to be together.” Nate continued. “She might well be my mother, and as such a woman whom I’ve always dreaded standing up to, but I want to do that… for us. I want to have us return to Auckland, to our life there, and live as a family.” This time it was his turn to wait - hoping for some indication of her feelings.
“Go on,” was all she said.
“If we all moved back to Auckland, the city itself, would you be happy then? I mean you’d be closer to Jean and Ruth, but on top of that, we’d be able to be together just about all the time. We could also get married - although we do have to work out what the deal is regarding this Morris fellow.”
“Please let’s not talk about Thomas Morris today.”
“Good idea.” Nate looked at her, wondering if in fact there even was such a man in her past, but let it go for now.
“I’ve heard that I’m no longer potentially a person of interest in regards to Anthea’s death, but I’ve no idea what that really means or if it’s only a temporary thing. I believe that she has become of secondary importance in relation simply to many other issues for the police. Let’s hope it stays that way.” Margaret shifted Lewis’s weight, felt sweat trickling down her back and marveled at the heat a small child could emit.
“I’m going to need some time to work around these things. First, I want to take the head office for all the Cookson’s branches to Auckland - and that’s going to mean a few changes in regards to the Wellington and Sydney stores. So, I’m going to need about six months to work on my father and my mother for that to happen. Second, I want to encourage my father to retire and maybe take Mother on a cruise. That will get her out of the way for a while, and give her something to look forward to while we get our lives in order.” Margaret nodded, seeing the sense in such a plan immediately. “Third, we need to establish how you and I can get through this next six months while I’m doing all that, so that you can still see the children, but we do our level best to keep Mother from knowing about it.”
Margaret could also see the sense in that, but was concerned about how this would affect her and the children. They needed each other - being apart seemed such a waste of everyone’s time. “It would be impossible for me to not see Maureen and Lewis. I don’t think I could do it.” Lewis, as though sensing his mother’s distress moved and murmured in his sleep.
“I understand, but how well do you think they will be able to keep you a secret?”
Margaret thought about that for a moment. “Well, maybe we’ll have to make it a game for them, and also test that out this week?”
Nate knew she was right. It was a big unknown and while they were both pretty sure about Maureen, Lewis was more uncertain. And both also knew that if Sybil realized what Nate’s plans were, she’d be a formidable opponent to them. “Look, can you leave this with me for a few days to figure things out? I know that Mother is frustrated that her role of playing ‘Grandma’ has not been as enjoyable as she’d have liked it to be, and so she was willing for me to engage a nanny a couple of weeks ago, for them both. I have to keep working between Sydney, Wellington, and Auckland for a while as I put my plans in place for the company, but I’m unsure how best to progress this more quickly just yet. I just know for, absolute certainty, that we belong together and nothing should stand in the way of our own happiness.” He held her hand and took it to kiss gently. “Please, just, well, I need you to trust me.”
Margaret stared over at Maureen playing now with another young girl of a similar age and hesitated. Nate felt her uncertainty and struggled to know just how to deal with it. He knew he’d let her down before.
“Sweetheart, I’m truly so very sorry for the times I’ve not been there for you in the past, especially this last few months. I’m so very, very sorry. But please believe me that I’ll never do that again. I need you, love you and want you to be my wife.” Margaret smiled and felt tears pricking the back of her eyes. She looked deeply into his eyes and felt his answered emotions perfectly mirroring her own. “Margaret, I know that we need to do this right this time. So please just trust me to take care of you three, OK? I’ll make arrangements for you and I to know when I’m here and when I’m not. And we can have th
ese kinds of meetings again - that’s easy to arrange. I’ll also arrange for letters from me to include letters from you for the children when I’m away, and ensure that at least before I go you can meet Leonora, the nanny. We’ll work something out, I promise.”
Margaret smiled at him, love pouring forth from her eyes and she squeezed his hand in hers. “OK, I promise I’ll be patient and do what I can to help us through these next few months.”
He leaned over and kissed her and each felt their warm sweet child stir between their bodies as their kiss deepened for a moment. Nate leaned back and adjusted himself, ensuring that she knew how much he wanted her right then. They exchanged another loving look then he stood up and wandered over to Maureen, pushing her on the swing for a few minutes before Lewis woke up, signaling it was time for them all to return to their respective homes for now.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Margaret was preparing for bed around midnight when there was a gentle knocking on the front door. The landlady was a deep sleeper as evidenced by the rumbling snores coming from the rooms off the kitchen. She crept quietly downstairs and opened the door to let Nate in. He’d ensured they would be able to meet before parting earlier that day, and both knew there was still much to talk about.
“Hi.” Margaret smiled shyly and held a finger up to her lips urging silence, then turned and led the way to her rooms. Pouring them both a neat whiskey, she handed one to Nate and gestured towards one of two armchairs placed either side of the drawn curtains.
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