by Elena Lawson
He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into his chest. It was safe. I was safe. The trembling stopped, and I sighed in relief.
“Are you alright?”
I tilted my chin up, “Better,” I sighed again, my muscles relaxing.
“Good,” he replied, tucking my damped hair behind one ear, “If using my Grace on you makes you uncomfortable, I apologize.”
My stomach clenched, “Your Grace?”
Alaric narrowed his gaze at me, cocking his head to one side, “You didn’t know? My Grace is touch. I can make anyone feel anything I want them to so long as my skin is in contact with theirs.”
“Oh.”
He moved his arms out of the way as I moved to sit up. Touch. Of course. That thing he did on the ship wasn’t an old sailors trick. He made the nausea go away using his Grace. It seemed a useful ability though not as revered as the sort which could be used offensively.
I lifted one of his hands from the bed, clasping it in my own. “Do it again.”
He lifted a brow, “Are you sure?”
“Make me feel… confident.”
“Confident?”
I dropped his hand, “Yes, confident.”
He shook his head, but lifted my hand back into his again, “You’re a queen, and you seem fairly confident already.”
The sensation rushed over me in a wave, electrifying my body in the most amazing way. My back arched, and my head cleared. I considered the room through a new set of eyes, knowing what had to be done. “I hate all this white. Everything is so white. Have Thana summon a decorator tomorrow. I don’t wish to live in a replica of my mother’s chambers.”
Alaric laughed, clasping my hand tighter, “Alright, as you wish, anything else?”
I surveyed him, took in the sound of his voice, the eagerness to please written all over his maddeningly handsome face. Holding his gaze, with my free hand I moved his hair from his face—then traced a line down to his jaw, to his collar-bone, and planted my hand on his chest. He shivered, and a hunger awoke inside me. My hand wandered ever lower, and he growled with desire. I wanted to touch him, wanted him to touch me back. Wanted—
Alaric let go of my hand, shoving himself from the bed and leaving me in a daze. I tried to shake my head to clear it of the thoughts still clasping to become reality. What was I doing? What would I have done if he hadn’t let go?
“Damn, Liana. Have you any idea what you’re doing to me?”
My cheeks inflamed, “I—I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was doing.”
But I did know. Something attracted me to him. And whether he used his Grace on me, he made me feel safe. The confidence boost was meant to make me less nervous about the Blessing Ceremony, but when I saw him, I—well I almost did something I obviously wanted to do, whether I knew it or not.
“No, I’m sorry,” he breathed, sitting back down on the bed beside me, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s not your fault. I wanted to do tha—I mean,” I corrected, “I asked you to do it.”
He hung his head, “Liana, you’re a queen. And I’m meant to protect you, nothing more. That is how it should be.”
A mix of shame and guilt swirled through me, making the blush return to my cheeks. “May I ask why you aren’t bonded?”
It was deathly still and quiet for an age before he responded, “I’ve never been… interested. Bonding yourself to someone—the ceremony, it would tie you to that person forever. They can’t undo it, and the link that comes with it cannot be severed.”
He regarded me then, his eyes filled with sadness and something like longing, “I haven’t met someone who could make me want to become one with them. I doubt I ever will.”
I understood what he meant. Though I often fantasized about the day I would be forever bonded to a male of my choosing, it wasn’t customary for a queen to do, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to anyway. The queen’s in our line chose a male to reproduce with, and declared them ‘King Consort,’ they had virtually no power and could only rule in interim periods between the fall of one queen and the bestowal of the crown on another.
I had yet to wear my crown—hadn’t even seen it yet. Seemed pompous to wear it around everywhere. But for an event like the Blessing Ceremony, they would expect it. Ugh. It was like a beacon saying over here, look at me! In case you didn’t know, I’m the queen. See this crown? Yes, you must do as I say. Ridiculous.
The tension returned to my muscles all at once and I began my decent down the rabbit-hole of insecurity and over-thinking again. Sleep would be impossible, and there were still hours until dawn would break.
Alaric stood, “I should let you get back to sleep. It’s nearly morning and you’ll need your strength when the Sidhe bestow a Grace on you, the flare of power takes its toll.”
I grabbed him by the hand before he could move away, unsure of what I was doing—what I wanted. Perhaps the feigned confidence was still running through my veins… But before I could change my mind, “Will you stay with me?”
His eyes softened, “I’ll be right over there,” he whispered, pointing to the place where he usually stands in the corner of the room.
Riling up what was left of my courage, I amended, “No, I mean stay here… in the bed. And keep me calm so I can sleep?”
“I don’t think—”
“Please?”
Tight-lipped, Alaric nodded, and removed the boots from his feet. “Move over,” he said, more playfully than with any true malice.
He positioned himself in the center of the bed, on top of the down-filled coverlet, and I crawled in next to him. “Here,” he said and pulled my upper half onto his chest. I rested my head against him, listening to the steady beating of his heart. My own heart constricted for an instant before he wrapped an arm around me, resting his hand against the skin of my bare arm. I remember nothing but feeling a sense of calm and tranquility before I drifted back to sleep.
Chapter Nine
The gown was a work of art. I’d seen nothing even remotely like it. Although I’d be the first to admit I dearly missed the freedom of my trousers and threadbare tunics, there was something to be said about a pretty dress too. Words escaped me, and for the first time, I saw what I imagined a queen to look like when I beheld my reflection in the mirror.
The cut was modest without being cloying, giving my curves the perfect hourglass shape. And the fabric, the fabric—a deep blue at first glance, but then also purple and pink and silver when I moved, as though Darius cut a swath from the night sky. The bodice was ruched and without true sleeves, but rather small bits of fabric that encircled my upper arms. And the bottom part of the gown was made up of pieces of the same fabric, all in varying lengths and widths—ever-moving, flowing, as if on a phantom breeze.
The way Thana styled my hair was less intricate—and less painful, than any style she had done before. Braided, and pleated. Half of it swooped back, and the rest left to drop gracefully in gentle waves down my back. It was simple, and yet very elegant. The coal she painted on my eyelids did wonders to bring out the deep blue of my irises, and the deep, almost purplish red now staining my lips made them fuller. I seemed older even though I would never age.
All I was missing was the crown—which I sent Thana to retrieve from the royal treasury.
“May I take your silence to mean you like it, majesty?” Darius inquired, standing just off to the side of my reflection in the tall mirror.
Finally, I allowed myself the squeal I’d been holding in to squeeze past my lips, “I love it! It’s—It’s—”
“Perfect.” Finn said, walking into the room from the arched entryway. It was easier to tell them apart now. Finn looked too serious to be confused with his brother, and Kade too much the opposite.
“You look like the Night incarnate,” Alaric agreed, “Beautiful.”
I stepped from the pedestal and wrapped Darius in a monstrous hug, causing the slight male to wheeze. “Thank you.”
Darius patted me on th
e back, and I released him, glad to see his eyes blazing with pride. Good, he should be proud. He would be my only tailor from then on, I had decided.
“You are most welcome.”
“Where’s Kade?” I asked Finn, stepping down from the raised platform.
A flash of disappointment was clear in the set of his jaw as he cleared his throat to answer, “He’s following Selbi. If she doesn’t attend the ceremony, then he won’t be either.”
I doubted Selbi would attend the ceremony, she wasn’t of noble birth. But she would be at the feast which meant Kade would be there too, but, “Do we have a plan for the feast?”
It took a moment for Alaric to discern my meaning, and it was Finn who answered, “I doubt there will be—”
Alaric silenced Finn with a cold stare, his gaze resting on Darius. And as much as I wanted to trust the male, I knew it wasn’t wise.
“Shall I go, majesty?” Darius asked, picking up on the energy in the room.
Lifting my skirts, I fell onto the ugly white settee and gave him a small nod, “Can I expect to see you at the ceremony this evening?”
He bowed low, lifting his case as he rose again, “I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Thank you again,” I told him earnestly, running a hand over the satiny smooth fabric covering my lap, “It’s incredible. I’d like a room to match it, if that’s possible. All this white gives my head pains.”
“Poor taste, your late mother, I’m afraid,” he sighed, “If you’d like, I’ll collaborate with the royal decorator and see what we can come up with.”
I rose again to clasp Darius’ hand in my own, his were smooth, so much unlike the calloused hands of my sentries I’d become accustomed to, “I would like that.”
Without another word, Darius planted a quick kiss on the back of my hand and fled the chamber.
“You should be more careful what you say in front of mixed company,” Finn said, his tone clipped.
I motioned for the two males to sit, settling back onto the settee.
“Rin will taste the dishes before they leave the kitchens,” Alaric began.
“I’ll oversee it to ensure all the dishes, and the wine, are tasted,” Finn added.
“Who’s Rin?” Thana asked, coming into the parlor with a gaudy crown atop a deep purple velvet pillow. The ornate design shined with diamonds and other precious stones, the crest of the Night Court standing proudly in the front—a full moon made up of luminescent opal, with black diamond wings on either side. “And why is he tasting your food? Have you replaced the royal taster too?”
The three of us went silent before Alaric cleared his throat, “Selbi will be away attending to a family matter,” he lied, “Just a precaution in case she doesn’t return in time for the ceremony.”
Her raised brows, and paltry sigh told me she wouldn’t ask any more questions and was likely even more exhausted with court life than I was already. She dropped the pillow into my lap, “Better put that on. The emissary is waiting for you to receive him in the gardens. The ceremony will begin at dusk, so don’t dawdle.”
Chapter Ten
Kade and Alaric were tense the entire walk down to the palace gardens. Alaric muttered something about how he should’ve brought the two sentries the council selected by the royal chambers for my approval. I wondered who they’d selected, and truthfully, didn’t want an entourage beyond the three males who had already claimed—and earned, their places by my side.
Besides, the emissary was just one male. What could he possibly do?
The gardens were in full bloom. A provocative scent of blossomed flowers permeated the air long before we entered. The Day Court emissary was seated on a smooth marble bench in the southernmost corner of the garden. He was easy to spot, with his bright colored attire and golden hair. That and the council appointed sentry who hovered a few paces away, watching him like a hawk its prey.
He rose as we drew nearer, exuding confidence, his posture stately and gaze fixed. Once we were close enough to speak, like a fool, I forgot the protocol for welcoming noble guests at court and almost stumbled over a particularly prickly flower bush. The male was unlike any other I had seen at court.
His hair seemed spun of gold and the way it waved accentuated his severe bone structure. High cheekbones framed a lightly tan face and sumptuous lips. His eyes were green, but not easily described. They were the color of a new leaf. The color of the forest after a night of rain. And when he moved his head, this way and that, the color morphed, looking almost yellow in the sunlight.
Finn nudged my side, almost imperceptivity, but it was enough to force words to flow from my lips, “Hello,” I stuttered, “I mean, welcome,” Oh crap, I’ve forgotten his name. Alaric just reminded me… “I—I hope your journey was a pleasant one.”
His lips parted into a half-smile, revealing two rows of perfect teeth, and a dimple in his right cheek.
Suddenly, it was far too hot in the gardens, and I itched to wipe the sweat from the back of my neck, “Your Majesty,” he responded, bowing, “My journey was long, but pleasant. It was an honor to receive your invitation. My name is Tiernan, and I offer condolences from the Queen of Day on the passing of your late mother.”
He didn’t seem like a savage. He seemed, well, very much like the Fae of my court, save for his looks and attire. But looks could be deceiving.
I nodded my thanks, “Please tell me if there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable.”
“I will,” he said, bending to pick a rosebud from the bush at his side, never taking his eyes from me. He stepped forward, causing Alaric and Finn to shift in response, stopping him from moving any closer.
I placed a hand on Alaric’s forearm and gave him a pointed stare. His jaw clenched before he jerked his head to Finn and they both took a step back.
Tiernan opened his hand, and I watched in awe as the rose bud opened, and grew, blossoming into the largest white rose I’d ever seen. He extended his hand and I stepped forward to take pluck it from his palm, twirling it between two fingers.
He inclined his head, “I shall see you this evening, majesty,” he said and strolled from the gardens.
Mere minutes stood between me and the dreaded walk down the maroon carpet to the altar. Alaric, Thana, and Finn would walk behind me, and stand next to me on the dais. Kade was nowhere to be seen.
Thana grasped my trembling hand, and I tried to reign in my nerves. I could hear the chatter from the open alcove where we waited for the sun to set. It was tradition to wait until the sun had fully descended, and the waiting was killing me.
Just walk up the aisle. Drink the damned water and walk out. Easy.
“Are you ready?” Thana whispered as the sun dipped below the horizon, bathing the sky in violet light.
I wanted to groan, but the sound came out as more of a sigh, “I am.”
I stepped into view of the crowd, standing at the center of the blood-red carpet. The room quieted, stilled, save for a few gasps.
The dress! I had forgotten… A few whispers broke out among the assembly, and I saw more than a few glares of disapproval.
They waited. A throng of nobles and dignitaries—at least one hundred Fae gathered to witness the Blessing of the queen. Servants lined the walls, eyes downcast, waiting with platters of sweet, effervescent wine to serve once the ceremony was complete.
My heart thundered in my chest, scattering my thoughts into oblivion. One step. Two steps. That’s it, Liana, almost there. By step three, I lost all courage and stopped. But there was Kade, standing to the side of the altar, an uncharacteristically encouraging countenance on his handsome face. Blowing out a breath, I walked—no, almost jogged to the altar, afraid to lose my nerve again.
There were so many of them watching. Too many. The hairs on the back of my neck and arms raised at the feel of their stares boring into my back—judging me for breaking tradition.
I ascended the stairs and took my place in front of the wide golden cauldron. Thana moved
to stand next to Kade, and Alaric and Finn were opposite them, on the other side.
My pulse raced, and I worked to quell the trembling in my fingers.
The water was alive. Below the thin layer of foggy blue was a liquid of indeterminate color. Not blue, as I had assumed, but transparent with shimmers of every color imaginable. It swirled, though no one stirred it, and seemed almost to glow.
The ewer and chalice sat atop a small swooden pedestal to one side. Quickly, I took the ewer and filled it, pouring from the spout into the chalice.
I faltered just before bringing it to my lips. What if…
I shook my head and tipped the contents back. It tasted—well it didn’t taste like anything at all. But it was cold. And then it was hot. The chill tumbled down into my stomach and then out into each of my veins as though I’d been injected with ice and fire.
With my Fae ears I could hear the assembly collectively take a breath and hold it.
What now?
Alaric, Thana, Finn and Kade watched me. Thana’s features swiftly turned to worry. Kade and Finn glanced back and forth at one another. And Alaric’s hands balled into fists at his side.
No. No! The water didn’t work. My ancestors wouldn’t Grace me. I would fall to ruin. I was a disgrace to the crown. They would overthrow me. An image of myself shackled and in darkness flashed before my eyes. No…
The pain began in my chest, and I clutched it, unable to breathe. Alaric was at my side in an instant, holding me up.
It ached.
Why did it hurt so much? Was this what it was supposed to feel like?
The agony was all consuming, and I tried—I tried to keep calm. Thana’s eyes were wide in shock, and Kade and Finn looked horrified. Everything faded into and out of focus. A humming started in my ears, contorting into indeterminable whispers.