She’d never been tempted to want more from anyone…until now.
Her stomach pinched in terror at the realization.
No. She shook her head, pushing away the uncomfortable thought. She was getting ahead of herself. She was probably just feeling this connection because she and Parker had been spending a lot of time together lately, that’s all. The fantastic sex was messing with her emotions, creating a closeness that wasn’t there.
But that wasn’t entirely true. She swore she’d felt the pain radiating off him as he shared the story of his father and the guitar. As much as she yearned to hear him play, she understood why it might be too painful for him. She wished she could help him get over that pain. No one should give up their art because of someone else. It was such a healing and lifegiving practice. One that the world often pushed aside as silly or pointless.
Or taken away as punishment like his father had.
She saw the anguish of the small boy inside, being torn apart as his father forced him to choose between parents. Parker had opened up to her. That wasn’t some throw-away thing you said to a sex buddy. That was real. He trusted her with a part of him he didn’t share easily. It was humbling and a little scary. All she’d wanted to do after was wrap him in her arms and take all his pain away.
Oh crap, I like the guy.
And not just a little like, either. Tamsen was afraid their “just fun” agreement was quickly falling into feelings.
“Hey, Tam. You okay?” Cora asked with a worried expression.
“Huh?” She shook her head. “Oh yeah, just spacing, I guess.”
Worrying about falling for her sex buddy, the implication of it, the opportunity for pain and heartbreak and the impact on her father’s happiness. No biggie.
Cora stared, but when Tamsen smiled back, her roommate grabbed the remote and hit play. They’d watched two and a half episodes when Cora got a notification on her phone.
“Shit.”
“What?”
Cora stood, reading the message on her screen. “There was a fire in one of the office buildings off Eighteenth and Larimer.”
“A fire?” Her heart jumped up into her throat.
“Yeah, fifteen people were sent to County Health. Carlos is asking for backup because two nurses called out sick today. Since I have ER training, they called me in.”
If her boss was asking her to come in on her day off, Tamsen knew it was bad, but since she heard the word fire, the blood had been pounding so loud in her ears she couldn’t think properly. Her fingers were flying over her phone, shooting off a text before she’d even realized it.
“What station responded?”
Cora glanced up from her phone, sympathy filling her eyes. “I don’t know, but I’m sure even if Parker was at that fire, he’s fine.”
She knew that. It was his job to save people from burning buildings and other dangerous situations. Didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified. Her rational brain and her erratic emotions were at odds right now, and the emotions were winning.
“Were any of the burn victims firefighters?”
“Oh, sweetie.” Cora frowned. “You know I can’t tell you that, even if I knew.”
She did. But again, logic out the window.
Tamsen glanced down at her phone. No texts from Parker. Not a surprise. If he was at that fire, it wasn’t like he could respond to her. And it wasn’t like they were dating or anything. He wasn’t supposed to check in with her, and she didn’t have the right to demand that of him no matter how worried she was. Even if it was over now, she was sure he’d still be busy. It’s ’cause he was busy, right? Not because he was in the back of an ambulance, injured on the very dangerous job he performed.
Her chest tightened. A vice of worry and pain gripped her, stealing her breath as a million horrible scenarios entered her mind. See, this was why she didn’t get involved! This fear, this horrible pain, she hated it. But there was nothing she could do about it now. She’d fallen. She cared. She couldn’t pretend Parker was nothing to her, and she wanted, no needed, to make sure he was okay.
“I have to go,” Cora said. “They need me.”
“Yes, of course.” She grabbed her friend in a tight hug. “Go, help.”
Cora needed to tend to the wounded, make sure those people were okay. And Tamsen needed to check on Parker. Make sure he was okay. Tend to anything he needed. Even if he wasn’t hurt, she knew a call like this would be hard on him.
She grabbed her purse, following Cora out the door to the parking garage. She shot off a text to Parker as she sat in her car, but her nerves wouldn’t permit her to wait. She drove as fast as speed limits allowed to station 42. Parking in the small lot, she got out and rushed into the front of the building.
“Tamsen.”
She glanced up to see O’Neil walking toward her. Judging by the slicked-back hair and the fresh clothing, she’d say he just got out of the shower. Cora hadn’t said how long ago the fire was, but if the victims had already been transported to the hospital, she imagined it was long enough ago for the men and women of station 42 to be back. And she was right.
“What are you doing here?”
She stepped closer, heart pounding so hard the frantic organ was nearly beating out of her chest. “I heard about the fire.”
His eyes softened. “He’s okay.”
She let out a huge sigh of relief, blinking back tears. The vice easing slightly. She knew only seeing Parker’s face, whole and unharmed, would release it entirely.
O’Neil placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “It’s his job, Tamsen. He’s good at it. We all are.”
She knew that. She also knew she couldn’t help the clawing worry twisting up her stomach at the thought of Parker being hurt. How could you be so proud of someone and so terrified for them at the same time?
“Can I see—” She had to choke back a sob, clearing her throat and trying again. “Where is he?”
O’Neil smiled. “It’s good to have people who care. Sometimes the calls…people tend to see us as heroes, but it gets to us, too.” His smile fell. “We do the job, but we also feel the suffering. Helps to have someone after, just to be there.”
She could be there for Parker. Whatever he needed, she could do it. She just needed to see him.
“He’s at home,” O’Neil said. “His shift was close to ending when we got the call, but he was still here so he jumped on the rig with us. Chief sent him home the second we got back.”
“Thank you.” She threw her arms around him, needing to give him some comfort, too.
Rushing back outside, she hopped into her car and navigated the one-way streets of downtown Denver to Parker’s place. Lucky for her, his building had guest parking, and she was able to find a spot. She locked her car and rushed inside, impatiently waiting for the elevator that seemed to take a decade. O’Neil said Parker hadn’t been hurt. Not physically, at least. She wouldn’t feel completely at ease until she saw him with her own eyes.
Finally, the elevator came, and she made it to his front door. Lifting her clenched and trembling fist, she knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Still no answer. She was two seconds away from trying her best to jimmy the lock. Didn’t matter that she had no idea how to do that, her brain was freaking out with the need to see Parker. Touch him, make sure he was all in one piece.
Just as she lifted her fist to knock again, the door swung open, and her clenched hand slammed right into Parker’s surprised face.
“Ow!” He clutched his nose.
“Oh my God, Parker! I am so sorry. I heard about the fire, and I didn’t know if you were called in or if you were hurt. Cora got called into work for some burn victims, but they didn’t say if they were civilians or first responders. I tried texting you, but you didn’t answer, and I know you were busy, but I was worried so I went by the station and O’Neil said that—”
“Tamsen.” He chuckled, dropping his hands, a small smile on his lips. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
She pressed her hands into her stomach, worry and embarrassment mixing together to make her stomach as sick as the day after a midnight margarita party. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to punch you in the face. We should put some ice on that.”
“That’s okay.” He pulled her inside, closing and locking the door behind her before leading them to the kitchen area. His voice turning husky as he stared at her with need in his eyes. “You can kiss it better.”
For the first time since Cora told her about the fire, her panic subsided. Her brain and body finally relaxed enough for her to take in the situation. The situation being that Parker had clearly taken so long to get to the door because he’d been in the shower. Evident by the towel wrapped around his waist and…nothing else.
She took him in, from the damp, slicked-back hair, down his cut chest and delicious abs, still glistening from the shower. Not a sign of injury or ash anywhere. He was fine. He was safe. And she was so relieved she could kiss someone. And since someone was standing in front of her, that’s exactly what she did.
Tamsen ran her hands up Parker’s chest, around his shoulders, and up the base of his neck to dig her fingers into the short strands of hair at the back of his head. She pulled him down to her, pouring all her relief and happiness into the kiss. His hands grasped her waist, tugging her closer until she could feel just how flimsy that towel was at hiding his arousal.
“Bedroom,” he growled between kisses. “Now.”
She shook her head. “Too far. Here.”
“As much as I want to bend you over this counter and take you right now, sweetheart. I don’t keep the condoms next to the cutlery.”
“In my purse,” she panted as his hands went to her breasts, cupping and squeezing with just the right amount of pressure to make her eyes cross. “Emergency condom.”
This definitely constituted an emergency. If she didn’t get Parker inside her in the next thirty seconds, she was going to die.
She reached into her purse and grabbed the strip of three condoms she kept with her. Tossing her purse on the ground, she ripped one of the foil packets off, letting the other two fall to the floor. She was sure they’d use them later, but right now she didn’t care. She held it out for him, but Parker shook his head.
“You put it on me. Please.”
Well, since he asked so nicely…
Maintaining eye contact, she moved her hand down his chest, lightly skimming her fingers along all that scrumptiously hard muscle. When she got to the towel, she flicked the knot, allowing the terrycloth to open and fall down to rest with the other abandoned items. She gripped his hard length in her hand, stroking him from base to tip. Parker groaned, arching his hips into her touch.
“Sweetheart, you can play later, but right now I need you.”
She released him, but only long enough to open the condom and roll the protection over him. She lifted her hands to her skirt, intending to slip it off her hips, but Parker put a hand over hers. Stopping her.
“Leave it on. Please.”
She smiled. “Keep begging me for things and I might start to think I have power over you.”
His eyes darkened, thumb coming up to brush softly over her lips. “You have no idea, sweetheart. But turnabout is fair play, and I promise you, by the end of the night, you’ll be the one begging.”
A shiver racked her body. She removed her hands, leaving the skirt in place.
“Now put your hands on the counter.”
From polite to demanding. The man sure knew how to do a one-eighty. Body humming with anticipation, she did as he commanded. Turning to face the kitchen counter, she placed her palms on the cool marble surface. For a moment or a millennium, she couldn’t tell, she stood like that. Waiting. Every part of her ached for Parker’s touch, but it didn’t come. What the hell was he doing back there?
Finally, she felt the warmth of his body against her back, the brush of his lips against her ear.
“Why did you come here tonight, Tamsen?”
What? He was asking questions? Now? Why, for crap’s sake?
“I…I was worried.”
“About me?”
“Of course.” Sure, they weren’t technically in a relationship, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about him. Far more than she should, actually. “I knew even if you hadn’t been hurt, you’d be…hurting.”
Because he shared with her a little of how hard his job hit him at times. She didn’t want him suffering through that alone.
She felt her skirt slowly being pulled up her legs as he gathered the material in his hands.
“Sounds like you care about me, sweetheart.”
“I do.” Her words turned into a moan when one large palm skimmed up her thigh.
Tamsen cried out when his palm covered her center, pressing against her through her panties.
“And you came to make me feel better?”
His fingers slipped inside the cotton, rubbing her bare flesh, causing her brain to short circuit. All she could do was nod and moan. He kept up the torture until she thought she might pass out.
“Parker! Please!”
His chuckle vibrated against her cheek. “Told you you’d beg.”
She’d beg, plead, threaten, anything to get him to get on with it. This slow torture thing was killing her. Thankfully, she didn’t have to do any of that. He tugged her panties to the side and then the blunt head of his cock was pressed to her core.
“Ready?”
She loved that he asked, but she was beyond waiting and coming dangerously close to exploding. “Now, Parker!”
He pushed inside, and she almost wept with pleasure. Nothing made her feel as whole, as complete, as having Parker inside her. His hands gripped her hips, protecting them from colliding with the countertop as he set a furious pace. She arched back, meeting him thrust for thrust.
He filled her. Not just physically. Tamsen felt his essences meld into her own. As if for a moment in time they weren’t two people, but one. One body, one soul, sharing breath, sharing space in the universe. He surrounded her inside and out. She couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. It was such a heavy feeling, and yet she felt as though she was floating among the clouds.
Her heart ached in her chest as this new, unfamiliar emotion overwhelmed her, bringing tears to her eyes. She blinked them back, focusing on the bright burning light Parker was stroking within her. She had no idea what this man was doing to her, but she never wanted it to end. But all things come to an end, and far sooner than she would have liked, she found herself crying out with release. Parker held her tight, following her into bliss just a moment later.
She collapsed against the counter, the marble cooling her overheated skin. Parker’s heavy weight pressed against her back, but she didn’t care. She loved feeling him. Any of him. All of him. She’d happily take his weight and his burdens if he’d let her. Carry the load. She hadn’t intended for this man to mean so much to her, but somehow, at some point, he had.
“I meant it,” she whispered. “I do care for you, Parker.”
She felt his body tense against hers. Crap. Her mouth had run away without her brain again.
“I don’t say that hoping to hear anything back. I know what this is.” He never promised her anything, and she wouldn’t demand it of him now. That wasn’t fair. “But I just wanted to let you know. I care.”
He was silent, the only sound the heavy pants of their breathing trying to return to normal. She’d just started to admonish herself for ruining a great thing when his lips pressed against her temple in a soft kiss.
“I care, too,” he whispered back.
She had no idea what this meant for them, but for now Parker was safe, they were together, and that was all that mat
tered.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Tamsen sighed, burrowing deeper into the plush comforter on Parker’s bed. His lips grazed her cheek, but when she turned over to snuggle into him, she found the bed empty. Blinking her eyes open, she looked up to see him standing above her. He smiled down at her. That sexy grin ramping up her heart rate, among other areas of her body.
“What are you doing out of bed?”
She preferred him in bed. With her. Naked.
Sadly, he was fully dressed in a loose pair of shorts and a gray T-shirt.
“I’m heading down to the gym. Wanna come?”
The only workout she wanted was a repeat of last night. Sex was far more fun than running to nowhere on a treadmill. Who needed exercise when you could have sexercise?
“I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who’s a morning person. And a workout person.” Crooking her finger, she motioned to him. “But come back to bed and I’ll forgive you.”
He laughed. “Hold that thought. Let me get the daily calisthenics out of the way, then I’ll be back up here to show you how fun working out can be.”
He placed a knee on the bed, leaning down to cover her mouth with his. After thoroughly kissing her until her toes curled against the soft cotton sheets, he rose, giving her a wink before heading out the bedroom door.
“Make yourself at home. I’ll be back up soon,” he called over his shoulder.
She heard the front door open and shut. What kind of man turned down morning sex? She sighed. The kind who had a job that demanded he keep in peak shape. Hard to be mad at him when he was only doing what was necessary to make sure he could keep being a hero, pulling people out of burning buildings.
Yesterday’s event rose in her mind. The fire. Her worry. The absolute relief that filled her once she saw him unharmed with her own eyes. She’d never known fear like that. Never felt the piercing sting of worrying for a loved one. Her mother died when she was barely more than a toddler. Yes, she missed her, but more the idea of her. She didn’t actually remember her mother at all. If she would have lost Parker…
The Wedding Dilemma (Mile High Firefighters) Page 19