Kodi could hear Sammi crying and sobbing on the other side of the bathroom door, but she believed that Sammi needed this release. She waited about half an hour until it got a little quieter before she let herself into the bathroom and found Sammi curled up in a ball on the tile floor. Sammi was still sobbing lightly, but her tears had run dry, leaving behind red eyes and smeared eyeliner.
Kneeling down where Sammi could see her, Kodi patted her friend’s shoulder to try and comfort her. Sammi immediately pulled herself together and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her head on them.
“I cannot imagine what you are feeling,” Kodi spoke very softly, “and I’m not going to try to convince you that you have to go back home. But I sincerely hope you will change your own mind because New York won’t be the same without you.”
“Don’t worry,” Sammi said, finally smiling and putting her legs down to place her hands on her little baby bump. “I’m sure two days after this little nugget is born, I’m going to be begging for your help.”
Kodi’s eyes widened, seeing proof of the baby for the first time. She slid across the tile floor to sit next to Sammi and added a hand to the slightly bulbous tummy.
“Can we schedule you a checkup before I leave?” Kodi asked, unable to hide her excitement.
“Of course,” Sammi said, smiling bigger at the thought of her first ultrasound.
Thinking about her baby and the excitement of its future possibilities, Sammi realized that everything was going to be okay. She didn’t need Mack, she didn’t need Eli, and she didn’t need to even see Christopher ever again. All she needed and all she wanted was a happy, healthy life for the little being growing inside of her.
*
When Sammi woke up the next morning, she was feeling so much better and made her first priority to make amends with Eli. Not wanting to wake him up, she showered first and waited a bit longer before having Kodi text Eli just to see if he responded. He wrote back right away so Sammi dashed out of the room and knocked on the door across the hall. Howard opened the door and gave her a look of disappointment.
“Where is he?” Sammi asked, getting right to the point.
“Bathroom,” Howard replied, moving out of the way to let her into the room but still shaking his head disapprovingly at her.
Sammi entered the room and crossed to the bathroom. The door was closed so Sammi leaned against the wall outside of it to wait for Eli. Howard shook his head one more time before leaving to give them privacy.
Eli came out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist and using another towel to dry his shoulder-length hair that looked almost black when wet. He didn’t notice Sammi as he crossed the room to the couch to dig clothes out of a gym bag. After finding what he wanted to wear, he finally looked up and dropped his handful of clothing to the floor at the sight of his ex-girlfriend.
“Nice pecs,” Sammi said, staring directly at Eli’s chest.
“What do you want, Sammi?” Eli asked coldly, tossing the towel for his hair to the couch and putting on a grey t-shirt.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” Sammi told him, trying to sound innocent as she looked at the floor.
“I don’t hate you,” Eli replied, “but I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“Was kissing that guy really the worst thing I could’ve done?” Sammi asked with pain in her voice.
“Do you even know why it upset me?” Eli asked with his arms slouched forward, giving in to this conversation.
“Because I cheated on Mack?”
Eli laughed to himself as he threw his gym bag on the floor and plopped down on the couch with his head down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Sammi stayed where she was and wondered what Eli thought was so funny.
“No, believe it or not, I don’t actually give a damn about Mack,” Eli growled, finally expressing his anger.
“Then why do you care who I kiss?” Sammi asked with growing frustration.
“Seriously, Sammi?!” Eli roared, aggressively pushing his own hair out of his face. “Are you so full of yourself that you don’t know how I feel about you?! That I would give my life for you and that everything I have done since making the biggest mistake of my life has been for you?! And I really believed that if you left Mack for anybody that it would be for me.”
Eli put his head in his hands, desperate to force back his tears. He could feel the couch shift as Sammi sat beside him and put her hand on his back, but his body tensed up and his hands curled into fists against his face.
“Eli, I’m so sorry,” Sammi spoke softly.
“Get out,” Eli continued to growl, knowing he couldn’t hold his tears back much longer, which was only making him angrier.
When Sammi didn’t move, Eli dropped his fists and looked at her with rage in his eyes. They both knew he wouldn’t hurt her, not after everything they’d been through. A brief glimpse of fear flashed across Sammi’s face, but it quickly changed back to sadness.
“Get out!” Eli screamed and punched the arm of the couch, trying harder to scare Sammi away.
But Sammi doubled down and rested her head on Eli’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around his left arm to hold him. Eli melted under her touch and could no longer hold back his breakdown. As he began sobbing, Sammi pulled him to her and wrapped both her arms around his body. She held him as he cried and combed her fingers through his wet hair to provide comfort. Her heart cried for Eli and she knew that she would always love him, but she owed it to both of them to properly say goodbye to Mack before even thinking about being with Eli again.
“I’m not going to see Christopher again,” Sammi said quietly as Eli’s sobbing started to calm down.
Eli finally freed himself from Sammi’s hold and sat up on the couch. He lifted the bottom of his t-shirt up to wipe off his face before turning his content gaze on Sammi. Forcing a smile, he swiftly scooped an arm around Sammi’s waist and pulled her into his lap. He kept his hands gently on her hips as he looked deeply into her sparkling eyes.
“You are everything to me, Samantha,” Eli whispered with his face as close to hers as possible without touching. “And I can’t wait to meet your little mini-me.”
Sammi’s face lit up at the mention of her child and that glow of joy made Eli fall in love with her all over again. But it was the fact that she had stayed by his side and didn’t run away in fear of him when he tried to push her away that let him know that she loved him too. She trusted him again and that was all he needed to know to be okay.
“Kodi told you, huh?” Sammi asked, still smiling and keeping her face close to Eli’s.
“Yeah, and it nearly killed me,” Eli told her with a nervous laugh.
He wanted to ask if Mack knew and he wanted to confess his eternal support for her and her child. But he was distracted by the overwhelming desire to kiss her and it took all of his strength to fight it. It wasn’t the right time and that was okay with him because he truly believed that the right time would come.
Still in Eli’s lap, Sammi wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest with her head tucked under his chin. He squeezed her tighter to him and they held each other in silence, letting the quiet heal their hearts.
*
Back in New York, two days after Mazzeline had been shot, Sammi’s old partner pulled through. Mack, who had been working around the clock with Palma to find the shooter, was relieved because he had not been looking forward to the potential heartbreaking phone call to Sammi. But the idea of having a real reason to call Sammi had been somewhat appealing.
“You could always ask Mazzeline to call her,” Palma offered during a previously quiet ride back to the station house after a ten-hour stakeout throughout the entire night. Nobody had to talk for Palma to know what was on Mack’s mind and the squad had only been able to put his situation with Sammi together through Mack’s behavior.
“That’s what I need,” Mack scoffed, “someone else that Sammi likes more than me to remind her
that she’s right and I’m wrong.”
Palma immediately stopped trying and stopped talking. Mack spent the rest of the ride back to the precinct thinking about all the messages Sammi had left him over the past few months and how he had never thought of anything he could possibly say back to her. As Palma pulled the squad car into the lot behind their building, Mack suddenly remembered the message he never listened to.
Mack removed his cellphone from his jacket pocket as he followed Palma into the building and had to go through several screens to find his voicemail. He put the phone to his ear after touching the little cassette-tape icon on the screen just as they reached the stairs leading up to their floor. Seconds later, he turned around to sit on the step he was on as his jaw dropped and he lowered his phone.
“Dude, you okay?” Palma asked when he realized his partner wasn’t behind him anymore. He had walked back down the stairs until he was in front of Mack.
Mack didn’t know what to say. He could feel the color drain from his face as his surroundings began to spin around him. Nausea overcame him and he knew he was going to be sick, so he jumped up and dashed up the stairs and into the bathroom. Sitting in a dimly lit stall, he rocked back and forth while awaiting the inevitable vomit and trying to force it up by thinking about how badly he had screwed up.
While Mack cradled himself on the bathroom floor, he heard the door that led to the squad room open and close. He remained in his stall and tried to keep quiet so whoever it was wouldn’t know he was in there.
“Johnson?” Captain Hobbs asked and Mack immediately knew Palma had told him something was wrong.
Mack forced himself to relax as he stood up and straightened his clothes. He exited the stall and was face-to-face with his boss, who was wearing a look of concern. Hobbs stood there and stared at him, waiting for him to speak.
“She’s pregnant,” Mack said, swallowing hard as he threw up his arms in surrender. “She’s been trying to tell me for months and I ignored every one of her calls.”
Tears were brimming in the corners of Mack’s eyes as he spoke the words aloud. He had never felt worse about himself or more hopeless in his entire life. Hobbs looked at him with pity as he put a hand on Mack’s shoulder.
“It’s not too late,” Hobbs told him, trying to sound reassuring. “You can still try to fix this.”
“I gotta go,” Mack replied, suddenly in a hurry as he pushed past his Captain for the bathroom door.
“Good luck!” Hobbs called after him, not sounding entirely hopeful.
Mack needed time to think about what he could possibly say to his wife before committing to calling her. He rushed out of the building to his car and took the hour-long drive home to collect his thoughts. Once in the growingly unfamiliar home, he sat on the cool, undisturbed bed and called Sammi.
*
The day after Sammi’s and Eli’s heart-to-heart, Sammi waited out front of the hotel with Eli and Kodi while Howard collected the Tahoe from the valet. Eli had returned the Corvette to the rental company days ago in preparation for their trip home, so they were down to one car between the four of them again.
“All three of you don’t have to go to my doctor appointment,” Sammi grumbled as the four friends piled into the Tahoe with Howard behind the wheel, Kodi riding shotgun, and Eli in the back with his favorite person in the world.
“We wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Kodi told her from the front seat, turning around to smile with excitement at her best friend.
“Yeah, you’ve got the fifth member of our team growing in there,” Howard chimed in, winking at Sammi in the rearview mirror.
“Our newest ride or die,” Eli added, taking Sammi’s hand and giving it a good squeeze.
“I love you guys,” Sammi said with a smile, feeling happier than she had in months. Her friends were more support than she could ever ask for, and the only family she needed.
As Howard pulled up to the stop sign to leave the hotel parking lot, Sammi looked down just in time to catch her phone screen light up with a call from Mack. She had her phone set to silent so nobody else knew that her heart just sank into the pit of her stomach. The only call that she had wanted in the past four months was the call she had given up hope for two days ago. Of course he would wait until she was finally okay without him to reach out and make her need him again.
“Do you guys hear that?” Howard asked, still with his foot on the brake at the traffic sign.
The car fell silent as everyone listened intently for what Howard could be hearing. There was a very faint beeping coming from the front of the Tahoe and it soon became apparent that it was the sound of a timer. Eli, Howard, Kodi, and Sammi all exchanged a mixture of looks of confusion and worry.
“Bomb!” Eli screamed as he threw himself across Sammi’s lap to throw her door open and pushed Sammi out of the vehicle. Her body was hardly out of the SUV before it blew and the explosion forced her hard into the blacktop, where everything went dark.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Home Movies (III)
After Sammi fainted in Captain Hobbs’ office, Hobbs had insisted that she stop by the hospital to get her head checked out. He wasn’t surprised that Sammi was freaking out over the promotion and he couldn’t blame her for worrying about having to tell Mack. But fainting was just enough out of character for her for Hobbs to be concerned that something else was going on.
Sammi felt fine, other than the emotional distress, but a trip to the hospital got her out of work and could possibly get her some pity from Mack. She was prepared to walk the several blocks to the hospital, but Hobbs wrangled a rookie patrol officer to escort her before she had even made it down the stairs to the lobby. She and the rookie were quiet in the patrol car because Sammi had nothing left to say to anyone in the precinct. She wasn’t taking the Captain’s position and she was done with law enforcement altogether.
Mack, who had seen Sammi leave the building in a hurry, quickly sent his wife a text message asking her if she was okay. She let him know that she was getting checked out after a brief fainting spell, but he never replied and she could only presume it was because he had found out that he was not the precinct’s new Captain.
At the hospital, a receptionist had Sammi fill out an intake questionnaire before a nurse took her back to collect more information and run a few tests. Sammi couldn’t help but notice that the nurse seemed to be extra cautious with the way she asked Sammi questions and it bothered her not knowing if that was just her temperament or if there was a reason behind it. She had to assume that the nurse already looked up her health records and Sammi worried that she suspected a complication from her previous shooting.
“I’m sorry,” Sammi finally spoke up, “but you are really freaking me out. Is something wrong?”
“Oh, no, no, no,” the nurse said with a tsk, suddenly making Sammi feel like a kindergartener. “Your fainting was brought on by extreme mental stress so I’m just keeping everything light and fluffy.”
The nurse smiled so theatrically and spoke with such fake sweetness that it made Sammi nauseous. But she was too distracted by the needle in the nurse’s hand to focus on the sick feeling in her stomach.
“What is that?” Sammi asked harshly, not taking her eyes off the terrifyingly sharp point.
“I have to take some blood, sweetie,” the nurse told her. “Don’t tell me a cop such as yourself who has survived multiple gunshots is afraid of a little needle!”
Sammi despised the woman and wished she would’ve gone home to Long Island to see Dr. Brock instead. The nurse told Sammi to relax, but she couldn’t. She would seriously rather have a gun aimed at her than that needle.
“Honey, you are too tense,” the nurse said after putting her fingers to Sammi’s wrist to gauge her heartrate.
“I thought you were keeping things light and fluffy?” Sammi snapped at her.
“On your intake, you mentioned that you fainted after receiving a promotion. Why don’t you explain that?” the nurse re
plied, visibly frustrated.
Sammi didn’t think it was important, but she dove into the story anyway and told her about the promotion belonging to her husband and how even her Captain didn’t want her to have it. The more involved in the story she became, the more worked up Sammi got until she got to the end and sighed heavily. As Sammi exhaled deeply, the nurse stuck the needle in a vein in her arm.
“Ow! You tricked me!” Sammi cried in disbelief as she tried not to look at the gross intrusion in her arm.
“Works every time,” the nurse laughed. “But I usually only have to do it with children.”
Sammi rolled her eyes, disliking this nurse more and more. The nurse finished taking the blood sample then disappeared briefly to take it to the lab herself. Sammi checked her phone while she was gone because it had been two hours since she’d been at the hospital and she was disappointed but not surprised that Mack hadn’t reached out again. When the nurse came back, her attitude had somewhat changed as she was more genuinely kind this time.
“Detective Johnson, I don’t want to put any ideas in your head,” the nurse said, getting serious, “but I spoke with a doctor before I came back, and she supports my suspicions. I want to wait on the test results, but you should be prepared to start discussing the possibility of being pregnant.”
Sammi’s face fell as she tried to comprehend what she had just heard. She and Mack hadn’t felt the need to rely on birth control because after everything Sammi’s body had been through, doctors were pretty pessimistic toward the idea of her being able to conceive. And that had been okay with them because Mack already had children and Sammi had never been burdened with the desire to procreate.
Love Against the Law Page 20