by Kevin Neary
Yes, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true that Rudolph was eventually added to the team. Remember, the only reason he was placed at the front of the team was because of his bright red nose. What many people don’t realize is that Rudolph was introduced to us as Donner’s son on the program. Given that Donner is one of the original eight, it would seem the whole Rudolph incident is a clear case of favoritism.
Then there is the case of the other reindeer. Initially, as mentioned, they don’t want Rudolph to partake in the reindeer activities. However, as soon as Santa Claus shows some interest in Rudolph they conveniently invite him into their inner circle. They are just a bunch of toadies to Santa Claus if you ask me, but I digress.
One of the most frequently asked questions came from Wendy. Several years back this little girl, no older than four, visited Santa and asked the question which had troubled many before her.
Wendy asked, “How does Santa find the time in one evening to visit all of the houses and deliver all those toys to all of the children in the world?”
A very good question and one that many of you out there have probably been wondering yourself. My answer over the years goes something like this:
“Santa has the ability to freeze time. Santa freezes time and as time stands still, he visits all of the children in the world.” I think that’s a sound answer.
Early on, I’d really get into it and I would say, Santa starts out on the other side of the world and because they are a day ahead of us, he then works his way back to this continent and then in theory he has two days to deliver all of the toys around the world.
However, by this time you usually get a child that is sitting on your lap with this “what are you talking about” look across his or her face. So, I know I will forever use the Santa freezes time theory as my out.
Another question you can always count on at least a half a dozen times each year concerns my beard. The question usually sounds something like, “Hey Santa, why do you have that big beard?”
My traditional response has been, “I have this beard because it gets so cold up at the North Pole and the beard keeps Santa warm.”
Did you ever wonder how Santa is able to fit down all of those chimneys, especially when a house doesn’t have a chimney? Well, this very same question was troubling Andrew.
“Santa, how are you going to fit down our chimney? We ain’t got one! And besides, our roof is slanted to the one side.”
Think fast Santa; I had only a minute to come up with an acceptable and believable answer. “Well, Andrew, in these situations Santa makes arrangements in advance with your parents. They wait up for Santa Claus. This way they can open the door to your house for him. This is how he is able to deliver all of those toys for the children out there who don’t have chimneys. Do you understand?”
“Oh, I get it.”
With that, I too breathed a sigh of relief. Naturally, this question has come up on more than one occasion and in each case, I answer the child in pretty much the same manner. I do, however, remember the time it backfired on me, with young Scarlett.
Apparently, I had told one of Scarlett’s friends, “Santa Claus will meet your mother and father, and this way they can open the door of your house for Santa,” who in turn relayed the explanation to Scarlett. As her parents explained it to me, Scarlett was absolutely terrified at the notion of Santa Clause coming to her house and her parents meeting this strange man at the door. I was told Scarlett wanted no part of Santa Claus, especially the thought of him in her house.
To keep peace and not to spark any future trauma in little Scarlett, Santa replied, “So, Scarlett, if it helps, I assure you I will drop off your presents down the street. This way your parents can go down and pick them up a little later.” I also assured Scarlett that Santa Claus and his sled, along with his reindeer, wouldn’t even fly anywhere in the same airspace as her house.
Now Chris, on the other hand, was the polar opposite of Scarlett. He loved the idea of Santa bringing all those toys to his house. So grateful was Chris, a little boy no older than five when he came to visit Santa a few seasons ago, that he also presented Santa with a gracious and lovely invitation with one stipulation.
After telling Santa Claus about all of the wonderful toys he wanted for Christmas, Chris said, “Santa, you know you’re welcome to come over to our house for dinner anytime you’d like!”
Feeling a little choked up by this invitation, Santa politely replied, “Well Chris, that is certainly very nice of you.”
Being somewhat proud of himself, Chris simply said, “I know.” Then came the warning by Chris, “But, if you do come over for dinner, make sure you keep those reindeer out of our refrigerator.”
Then there was Luca, who thought he’d make Santa’s job a little easier. Luca was quite aware of the fact that his house did have a chimney but based on Santa’s size there was a pretty good chance he wasn’t about to fit down such a small opening. So he thought he’d break the news gently to Santa Claus one day when he came to visit.
The conversation began with my usual request, “Now Luca, you’ve come all this way, is there something you would like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”
“Yes, Santa, but I hope you’re not going to get upset with what I am about to say, but I don’t think you’re going to fit down our chimney because you’re too fat! But don’t worry Santa, we’ve got a big backyard so you can park the sled out there and leave the toys there!”
Speaking of my sled, I have also been asked my share of questions concerning this magical flying machine and device. Take Avery, for example, who was particularly concerned about Santa’s sled and its hauling capacity.
“Santa, have you ever looked into getting a bigger sled?”
“No, I really haven’t, the one I have now is the original sled and it has worked well all of these years. And when you have a good thing going, you stick with it.”
Kyle wanted to know what was the top speed Santa’s sled can actually travel.
Ruby was curious if this was always my sled or did I get some upgrades to it over the years. I guess she wanted to make sure Santa had the latest model so there would be no danger of breaking down while I was attempting to deliver her presents.
Veronica wanted to know if Santa would ever consider painting the sled a different color.
There was also Cole, who expressed some concern about the payload and hauling capabilities of Santa Claus’s sled. Cole knew there was a whole lot of kids out there in the world who wanted something special for Christmas, but he wasn’t sure how everything was going to fit into the sled.
So, Cole decided to ask the question, “Santa can all of the toys fit in your sled or do you have to make several trips back and forth to the North Pole to load up?”
As far as my answer to this question, I don’t remember the exact words I used, but what I did say reassured Cole that the sled was larger than he thought and the Elves do an amazing job of packing.
Similarly, Adrian wanted to know if the sled ever got too heavy for the reindeer to fly.
Obviously, Eric must have watched his share of Star Wars movies and asked Santa Claus if my sled could reach lightspeed.
Maria was concerned about Santa’s safety and naturally asked the following question, “Santa, does your sled have safety belts?”
Sebastian, on the other hand, was curious as to the where-abouts of Santa’s big red toy bag. Sebastian asked, “Where is your red bag full of toys, Santa?” I can only imagine that the true authenticity of any Santa Claus is judged in many children’s minds by his big bag of toys.
So, after Sebastian’s inquiry I requested that a bag or some reasonable facsimile be placed at Santa Claus’s display and therefore made a permanent fixture. Soon, a bag was added by the store to provide that level of comfort and reassurance to those worrying little ones who might have expressed the same concerns as Sebastian.
Playing the role of Santa Claus as long as I have does allow you to have your shar
e of loyal visitors that come and visit you as the Jolly Old Elf each and every year. One such regular visitor over the years was a sweet little girl named Melanie. Amazingly, in Melanie’s case, she had been a loyal visitor of this Santa for her entire life. Melanie is one of those children who came downtown with her parents to make the special trip to see this Santa each and every year. Remarkably, Melanie was actually in her teens when she stopped visiting Santa Claus.
I will always remember Melanie because of the great collection of questions she always had for Santa Claus each year.
One such question from Melanie went something like this, “Do all of the toys start out black and white and then Santa adds the color?”
Now, there’s a clever question. Melanie somehow related the magic that’s behind Santa with his ability to bring color into the world. In this little one’s mind all of the toys start out dull and boring, then along comes Santa Claus, who adds the magic of color.
Another question thrown Santa’s way by Melanie concerned all of the toy stores. “Does Santa make all of the toys that you find in the toy stores and online?”
I guess Melanie was wondering whether these toys were sanctioned or approved by Santa Claus or were they just ‘Black Market’ products! Or perhaps, Melanie asked the question to determine if this action by the toy stores was forcing some of Santa’s Elves out of a job. Well, whatever the reason, I hope that Melanie will always maintain her high degree of curiosity and imagination.
The final and most recent question to come from Melanie concerned Santa Claus and his reindeer and their preferred choice of Christmas Eve treats. Melanie wanted to make sure she was leaving the right snack at her house for Santa Claus on the big day. Now Melanie knew that Santa enjoyed his milk and cookies but wanted to double check with Santa as to what type of cookies he preferred and what tasty selection would be appropriate for his reindeer.
Melanie asked, “What type of cookies do you like best, Santa? And what do reindeer eat? What should I leave for them?”
“As for which flavor and what type of cookie, Santa prefers oatmeal with raisin and his reindeer prefer carrots and apples but sometimes a little granola.” I thought I’d add granola to the list; it sounded pretty convincing, and Melanie thought so too.
Speaking of reindeer, I have also been asked my share of questions concerning them. For example, Lindsay was curious about the ages of Santa’s reindeer and expressed her question this way: “Aren’t those reindeer getting too old to fly Santa? And by the way, how do they fly anyway?”
In defense of Santa’s reindeer, I replied, “Don’t worry, Lindsay, they are younger than you think and besides they practically know the route by heart after all these years anyway.”
Interestingly, the next little girl in line heard my answer and decided to ask a question about the reindeer all on her own.
Brianne didn’t quite understand this whole Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer phenomenon. Brianne’s conversation with Santa went something like this: “I heard what you said to that girl, Santa.”
Thinking the same question had been troubling Brianne, Santa replied, “You did. Have you also been wondering about that question?”
“No, but what’s with this Rudolph and the nose that lights up? And, is Rudolph real?”
Santa Claus phrased his response something like this, “Brianne, Rudolph is as real as all the rest and his bright nose often helps Santa Claus guide his sled.”
Isaac was a little boy about seven years old who very much believed in Santa’s reindeer and their ability to fly, but still had a question: “Do some of your reindeer fly better than some of the others?”
Addison wanted to know if any particular reindeer was considered the leader of the team. Not to play favorites, Santa assured Addison that no one reindeer is more important than any other and each year they take turns being the leader.
Another question which I get all the time is “Where are your reindeer now?”
In an effort not to disappoint the children, I explain to them that the reindeer are here today, but they are on the roof sleeping. Naturally, they immediately look towards the ceiling and say, “They are? Can I see them?”
Then, I have to break it to them very carefully that the reindeer have to get their much-needed rest because they have a long trip back to the North Pole later today. I must admit that the children, as a rule, do understand and are sympathetic to the needs of the reindeer.
However, the day came when I used this line one too many times. Apparently, I told Jason the same story when he came to visit me the previous year, when I said they were on the roof sleeping.
Jason reminded me that I may have used that excuse one too many times when he replied, “That is what you said last year, Santa. All they do is sleep!”
When I played Santa Claus for the cruise ship, I would have to phrase my response a little differently. Marinette asked the same question as to the whereabouts of my reindeer, and Santa replied, “They are certainly here today, but they are on the top deck of the ship near the pool sleeping.”
Santa Claus discovered quickly he needed his sled with him, even more so when I worked on the cruise ship. How else could Santa have been there on Christmas Day, especially on a moving ship?
Interestingly, in the twelve years I did work for the cruise line, the day Santa worked and met with children and families was on Christmas Day and not prior. Knowing that, I was often placed in a situation where I had to explain to the children Santa will be contacted by your mommy and daddy when you get home. They will then make arrangements with Santa Claus and his Elves to deliver your presents. This was necessary because most parents were not in a situation where they would bring their children’s entire bag of toys with them while they were on the cruise. So, when Christmas morning arrived, little Johnny and Susie’s toys were not always there. A Santa’s job I guess is never done.
Every once in a while, you get a parent who wants Santa Claus to do their dirty work for them. Take for example, the little girl named Megan and her mother who came to visit Santa a few seasons back. From what I could tell from my conversation with Megan, she had asked her parents for a dog, but they were definitely against the idea. When Megan asked for a reason why she couldn’t have a dog, her mother replied, “Santa doesn’t carry live animals on his sled.”
Megan, however, was a little smarter and too persistent to settle for this excuse so she decided to ask the same question to Santa Claus when she came for her visit.
Megan turned my way and with this inquisitive look on her face asked, “Santa, is it true your sled doesn’t carry live animals? I want a doggy!”
Figuring I needed to walk carefully through this answer, I looked toward Megan’s mother for some kind of signal. The mother was standing directly behind Megan and was shaking her head “no.” One could easily read her lips, “no dogs.” I was stuck! How could I turn this around so I wasn’t the bad guy?
My response to Megan went something like this: “Traditionally, Santa Claus does carry live animals, but this year at the North Pole the weather has been extremely cold and harsh. So Mrs. Claus and I have decided for the safety of all the dogs and other animals, we will not be able to deliver them to the good little boys and girls this year. Do you understand that we are doing this for their own protection, Megan? This way we can keep them safe.”
Megan nodded yes back to Santa Claus and I felt as though I did my part to please both child and parent.
Speaking of letting Santa do the dirty work, some parents use Santa Claus as a way of correcting behavior. It’s all part of the “Good Book” and “Bad Book” concept children seem to know. I do, however, enjoy helping a child with his or her passage from babyhood to their next stage of development.
Allow me to explain. This situation occurs at least three or four times each Christmas season. A parent or guardian approaches Santa’s chair with their little one. The little one then removes the binky or pacifier that is in their mouth and hands it to Santa Cla
us.
Little Anthony was a perfect example of one such child. He and his parents came to visit Santa Claus and apparently Anthony was reluctant to give up his most treasured possession, his binky. From what I surmise, Anthony’s parents thought his attachment to his binky had gone on a little too long and Santa would be the perfect accomplice to helping with the removal of the mouthpiece.
His parents turned to Anthony, as he stood just a few feet from Santa, and said to their little one, “Anthony, isn’t there something you would like to ask Santa?”
Anthony replied, “Santa, can you take my binky back to the North Pole so you can give it to another baby who might need it?”
Santa said back, “That is very sweet of you Anthony. I will be happy to do so and I promise I will find your binky a new home.”
Anthony then handed the saliva-filled binky over to Santa, saying not a word. He sadly walked away as though he had lost an old friend.
Every once in a while a question surfaces about the North Pole. All children seem to know about the North Pole and what a wondrous place it must be. Every child knows that it is Santa’s home, that it is where Mrs. Claus also calls home, and it is where the magical Elves make all of the toys.
One of the questions about this mysterious oasis came from Chance, who inquired, “Is it really cold up in the North Pole?”
Nino asked, “Do you live at the North Pole all year long?”
“Can I ever go back with you to the North Pole?” asked Brent.
Then there is that all too familiar question, “What does your North Pole look like?”
Susie asked an excellent question that I must admit floored me when I heard it and I still don’t know how I managed to wiggle my way out of it. Susie questioned, “How can you live up at the North Pole when there is no land mass?”