“You’re not a terrible person. You couldn’t be if you tried. You’re actually the best person I know.”
I felt her hand curl around my elbow, gripping on to me. My hand tightened around her neck in reaction, the silky strands of her hair tickling my skin. What I wouldn’t give to bury myself inside her. Sex had always been just a relief, a satisfaction. But with Jane … I bet she could take out all her worries and sadness in my body. I’d soak them right up, so she’d never have to feel that way again. Steal moments of euphoria in a time she needed reminding it existed.
Fuck, I would take on all her sadness and frustrations if I could.
Realizing if I didn’t let her go, I’d never let her go, I pulled back and pressed a kiss to her forehead. The way she looked at me as I released her made me feel ten feet tall.
“Do you want to talk about these chapters?” Her voice was lower, a little hoarse with emotion. Its sultry sound caused another flare of heat to shoot from my gut to my groin.
Fuck.
Seventeen, I reminded myself. She’s seventeen and tomorrow is my nineteenth birthday.
Nine months. I could wait nine months for her to turn eighteen. Then there would be no stopping us. Because I wasn’t imagining the two-way attraction, right?
“Okay.” I gave her a wry grin. “Hit me with it.”
She returned my grin and then looked at the laptop screen. “Pacing and plotting is excellent.”
Was it ridiculous how hot I found it when she got all serious about my writing? “Good to know.” I watched her nibble her lower lip and lost focus for a second. Jane had the most beautiful mouth I’d ever seen. Her lips were everything. Full, lush, so fucking kissable. My eyes traveled down her throat, across the expanse of smooth, olive skin revealed by the wide neckline of her T-shirt. Her full tits were a generous handful. She was way too sexy for my own good.
“Your hero is great. He’s flawed but intriguing. He can be a dick, but he also shows moments of warmth. Between that and how smart he is, you’ve gotten that balance just right.”
I dragged my dirty, horny gaze off her body and back to her beautiful face. When I wrote women in my books now, they always had a little of Jane in them. Which was why what she said next bothered me.
“Your heroine, however, needs work.” She shot me an apologetic wince. “She’s a little weak, Jamie.”
I frowned. “Weak, how?”
“You spend more time describing her looks than you do the heroes. So right away, you’re setting this up as somehow important.”
Yes, but did she not notice the resemblance between my heroine and her? “O … kay?”
“That would be fine if it were the only problem.” She pointed to the screen. “You haven’t given her motivation. Her actions are defined by the actions of the hero.”
Really? I scowled at the screen.
“Is that what you want?” Jane studied me. “For her to do what the hero tells her to do, with no thoughts of her own?”
“Not at all. But they both want the same thing.”
“That’s fine. Their goals align. But you have to clarify that her actions are motivated by what she wants. Not that she wants to give the hero what he wants with no thought to her own needs. Do you get me?”
Her passion and investment in my writing suddenly lifted my mood like nothing could these days. I smiled at her, not caring if my feelings were reflected in my eyes. “You’re going to make sure I write badass heroines, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” She laughed. “Jamie McKenna will not write bad heroines while I’m around.”
“Then I guess you better stick around forever.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Her breath caught as our eyes met and held. A little part of me panicked that she might take more from my meaning, but then I realized … maybe I wanted her to.
Because the thought of a future without Jane filled me with dread.
“Hey, guys.”
I jolted at the sound of my big sister’s voice, whipping my head around to see her standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“Sorry to interrupt. I was upstairs napping.” Skye smiled, but it was inquisitive.
I hadn’t even noticed her car outside.
“That’s okay.” Jane closed her laptop and pushed up off the couch. “I need to get back, anyway. I promised Willa I’d babysit the kids tonight.”
Disappointment filled me. I didn’t want her to go. I stood, towering over her curvy, five-foot-six figure. “You’re coming to my party tomorrow, right?”
I hadn’t wanted a birthday party. I wasn’t a birthday-party kind of guy, but Skye had convinced me that inviting guys from the track team and their friends to a party would help me find my place at USC. It was harder for me to fit in when I wasn’t staying on campus. Or at least that was Skye’s worry.
“Jamie, you know I’m not a party person.”
“But I also know Lorna will browbeat you into coming, so I’ll see you there,” I teased.
Jane laughed. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved at Skye.
“See you tomorrow, sweetie.”
As soon as the door closed behind Jane, my big sister pounced. “So, I’m not imagining the fact that (a) Jane is allowed to read your writing, and (b) you were flirting with her—am I?”
I groaned and strode past her into the kitchen. “Skye, leave it.”
“Uh, if it were anyone else but Jane, I would.” She followed me in and leaned against the peninsula counter. Her gaze bored into me. “What’s going on there?”
“Nothing that will happen while she’s not eighteen,” I promised.
“You like her,” Skye surmised. “It’s not just that she’s drop-dead gorgeous. You’re letting her read your work, so you must like her. Respect her opinion?”
“I do,” I admitted.
She exhaled slowly. “Jamie … Lorna won’t have it. As far as she’s concerned, that sweet kid has belonged to her from the day they met.”
Anger churned in my gut, and I glared at Skye. “And you don’t think that’s a little fucked up?”
Concern flashed across my sister’s face. “Lorna has insecurities you and I seem incapable of helping her with. She met Jane when she needed someone to be hers, only hers, and at the time Jane needed that just as much.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Do I like the way Lorna manipulates Jane sometimes? No. But they’re both grown-ups now. It’s up to them to work out their relationship.”
“Here’s what I know: Jane doesn’t belong to Lorna. And Lorna’s feelings on the matter won’t stop me.”
Skye scrutinized me. “Are you … are you in love with her?”
The thought made my heart race fast and my palms sweat. “Fucking hell, what kind of question is that?”
“The kind of question a person asks when their little brother is the biggest player ever and he casts his sights on a young woman I adore and feel protective of.”
That anger turned to indignation. “You think I’d hurt her?”
“Jamie, if your feelings are genuine, I’m all for it. Even if I have to deal with Lorna freaking out about it. Because it would make me happy if you ended up with someone like Jane. But”—she glowered at me—“if you’re thinking with your dick because the girl is a knockout, then don’t go there. Please. She …” Skye heaved a sigh. “I’m betraying the sisterhood when I tell you this, but, Jamie, that girl has had a crush on you since forever.”
My heart lurched at the thought. Happiness warmed me all over. “Really?”
Skye narrowed her eyes. “Really. And if you aren’t serious about her, you’ll crush her.”
This wasn’t the kind of conversation I wanted to have with my sister. In fact, I didn’t think it was right to tell her this shit before I even told Jane, but since Skye would probably worry over it for the next nine months, I gave her what she needed to hear.
“That girl deserves to be loved,” I said
, my voice hoarse with emotion and a little discomfort. “No one has ever loved her right, except for you. Not even Lorna. When a guy comes along, he needs to love her hard. To make up for all the times people forgot to love her.” Or the times it was taken away from her, like with her adoptive parents. Just the thought of Jane feeling unloved made me want to punch a fist through the wall. “I plan to be the guy who loves her like that.”
Tears brightened Skye’s eyes. She reached up and brushed the backs of her fingers over my cheek. “Wow. Well … it sounds like you already might be that guy. Don’t you think?”
My heart pounded hard. Yeah. I did think.
She squeezed my shoulder and gave me a tight smile. “You wait until she’s eighteen.”
I nodded, already willing nine months to fly by at the speed of light.
We fell into silence as we made fajitas, both lost in our own thoughts. But it occurred to me as Skye stood grating cheese and I stirred the chicken, spices, and peppers in the pan, that Skye was here at an odd time of day for her. “What are you doing home?”
“We finished filming the season finale at 4.00 a.m. I needed some sleep, so I came home for a nap. I fly out to New York for the Benson film the morning after your birthday.”
It was still so surreal to see Skye in magazines and in photographs online. The Sorcerer had provided her with a certain level of fame, and now that she was getting secondary roles in big movies, it might not be long before she got starring roles. Once that happened, I couldn’t imagine our lives would ever be the same. Not that they were normal now. There was nothing normal about seeing bikini shots of your big sister as the home screen on a teammate’s phone.
The guys were annoyingly excited about the fact that Skye and her friends would be at the party tomorrow night.
“Patricia told me there’s a small role in The Sorcerer she thinks Jane should audition for.”
My heart faltered. “No.” I cut my sister a dark look. “They just want her because she’s beautiful. Which is exploitation, FYI.”
She sighed. “They just want to see if she can act. She has the face for camera. And although I’m not sure I want her in this life, it should be up to Jane.”
Sometimes I wondered if my sister even enjoyed acting or if she only did it for the money. There were times I caught a flicker of darkness in her eyes that I didn’t like. But anytime I tried to talk to her about it, she shut me down. “No,” I repeated. There would be no bikini shots of Jane on my teammates’ phones.
“It’s not up to you, Jamie. You’re not her keeper, and I hope you won’t act like that if you two start seeing each other.”
I curled my lip in annoyance and tried not to say something I’d regret. Then I remembered who we were talking about. “Jane hates acting. She’ll never go for it.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”
But I would worry because Jane would do almost anything to make Skye happy. “Just don’t sell it as if it’s something you want.”
My big sister understood. “I won’t. I promise.”
Jane would say no.
I closed my eyes.
Fuck.
I’d never been a possessive guy … until now.
And I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with the depth of my feelings for Jane Doe.
However, I also knew I no longer had a choice in the matter.
5
JANE
Seventeen years old
It seemed wrong to feel butterflies of excitement in my belly instead of the ones of dread I’d felt for the last eleven days.
However, yesterday, Jamie had successfully distracted me from my discomfort at school these days. He’d comforted me, held me, and he’d stared at me like he wanted me.
I’d had enough boys look at me with that heat in their eyes to recognize it when I saw it.
I just never thought I’d see it from Jamie.
And he’d flirted with me, hadn’t he?
Lorna’s rule from long ago about not crushing on her brother niggled at me. I didn’t want to cause problems between us, but no one made me feel alive like Jamie McKenna did, and I couldn’t ignore that. When he specifically asked if I’d be at his party, it felt like a different kind of invitation.
Something was changing between us, and I hoped that this party would be the start of it.
Dealing with Lorna would be worth it, if it meant I got to be with Jamie.
Music thudded from behind their door as I followed guests I didn’t recognize up the walk to their porch. Two big guys—hired security—stood at the door with a guest list. I relaxed a little, seeing them there. Sometimes I worried Skye didn’t take her own security seriously enough. Perhaps because there were other cast members invited to Jamie’s party, she’d decided to be cautious, for once.
The guy with the clipboard barely looked at me when I approached. “Name?”
Before I could open my mouth, Lorna suddenly appeared in the doorway. “There you are!” She reached out to grab my wrist and hauled me inside.
She slammed the door shut behind us. “What are you wearing?”
Taking in the strapless minidress and five-inch heels she wore, I reluctantly understood her accusatory question. I was wearing skinny jeans and a Red Hot Chili Peppers T-shirt. And ballet flats. Don’t forget the ballet flats.
I threw my hands up. “This is me, Lorna.”
“Yeah, hiding your hotness, like always.” She turned my hands palm upward. “Paint. You’re covered in paint.”
I wasn’t covered in paint. I had speckles of paint on my hands.
“More ways you cover your hotness.”
My best friend confused the hell out of me. Anytime she thought someone was paying me more attention than her, she freaked out. But anytime she thought I was “hiding my potential,” as she called it, she got in my face. There was no one more complicated than Lorna McKenna.
For example, after she kissed Chris Cruz, Chris attempted to win me over at school. A tough senior, Dana Rogers, known for slapping other girls around when she decided she didn’t like them, had a thing for Chris. When she got word that he had a thing for me, she jumped me in the girls’ restroom and busted my lip open.
When Lorna found out, she rounded up her friends and jumped Dana off school grounds. She broke Dana’s nose.
Skye was furious.
Jamie was impressed.
And my loyalty to Lorna re-cemented.
No matter how she hurt me, she had my back.
I didn’t know how to walk away from that and didn’t know if I could. Sometimes it felt like the only person in the world who truly needed me was Lorna McKenna.
“I had a feeling you might come dressed like this. You’re borrowing a dress from me.” She eyeballed my shoes. “The flats will just have to do, I guess.” Lorna and Skye both wore a shoe size bigger than me.
Still holding one of my wrists, Lorna maneuvered us through the very crowded living area. I searched for Jamie. I saw Skye and gave her a wave, but no birthday boy.
“You came.” I heard his deep voice seconds before I felt the heat of his hand on my lower back.
I tugged on Lorna, who stopped as I turned toward Jamie. The movement meant he dropped his hand from my back. A pang flared across my chest as the fluttering in my belly intensified. He wore his usual uniform of casual T-shirt and jeans, somehow always looking like a broody Calvin Klein model.
“Happy birthday.” I grinned and held out the wrapped present in my hand.
Lorna snatched it before Jamie could. “It goes on the pile.”
Jamie raised an eyebrow at her. He held out his hand for the gift. “Isn’t that up to me?”
“Nope. Now, go back to your harem. Jane needs to change.”
Harem? I frowned, suddenly realizing there was a group of college girls standing behind Jamie. One girl with champagne-blond hair glowered like she wanted a black hole to open behind me.
My heart sank.
“Change?” Jamie’s voi
ce brought my attention back to him.
His staring made me shiver.
“Into something more party appropriate.”
“I keep trying to tell her this is me.”
Jamie’s gaze drifted down my body and back up again, and a flush of heat between my legs made me take a step back. He flicked an annoyed look at his sister. “There’s nothing wrong with her.”
“Says the guy who wouldn’t know what tailoring was if it bit him in the ass.”
“Jamie.” The champagne blond suddenly pressed her chest against Jamie’s arm. She flicked me a catty look before gazing at him in open invitation. “Why don’t you show me that book we were talking about it?”
“Now?”
She shrugged and trailed a fingertip over his heart. “Now.”
His eyes dropped to her mouth and my heart dropped out of my body.
I was such an idiot.
Lorna tugged on my wrist, and I followed her without knowing where I was going or what was happening. I was vaguely aware of her putting my present with a pile of other presents. It wasn’t until we dashed upstairs that I realized I needed to take that gift back.
Jamie would know what it cost me.
A huge chunk of my savings.
That gift was splaying my heart to him and asking him to punch a hole through it.
“Ugh, those college girls,” Lorna complained as she hauled me into her bedroom. She slammed the door shut and reached for the hem of my shirt.
I brushed her hands off in irritation. “I can dress myself.”
“Fine.” She raised her hands defensively. “Dress is on the bed.”
Was the champagne blond Jamie’s girlfriend? Had I made up the connection I’d felt growing between us these last few months? Feeling nauseated, my fingers trembled as I tore off my shirt and then unzipped my jeans.
“You know, I don’t get this thing about my brother,” Lorna huffed.
I tensed, my pulse racing a little faster. Does she know how I feel?
“All these girls, I mean. You know he’s made out with three since this party started.”
Black Tangled Heart Page 6