“We have other interests,” Jamie argued as I muttered the same under my breath.
My hands were covered in paint from my other interest.
Art and Jamie and books. Those were interests. What was so wrong about that?
“You know what I mean. I think Jane should sleep in Lorna’s bed from now on and that you two should practice a little distance. I don’t want you to lose yourself inside one another. It scares me.”
Jamie’s tone softened. “What scares you about it?”
“Love is one thing. We all need it. But … we have to stand on our own. To survive on our own. Jamie, God forbid something happened to either of you … I see how you are with one another, and I’m so worried about what will become of you if something happened to Jane. Or to Jane if something happened to you.”
To my surprise, Jamie chuckled. “Skye, the actress in you is being melodramatic.”
“Don’t be condescending.”
He laughed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be.”
“I know you think I’m worrying about nothing, but I saw you today with that girl, and I thought … maybe you and Jane shouldn’t shut down all your options. Isn’t there a part of you that went to USC to stay close to her? And I know she chose Pomona to stay close to you. But what if Jane hadn’t done that? What if she’d followed Lorna to New York? Maybe you would have met someone else. Someone you’re not so wrapped up in. Someone easier … It’s not like you don’t notice other girls. Like the girl today, for instance.”
What girl? I frowned.
“One, Lacey is my project partner. Nothing more—”
“It didn’t seem that way for her.”
What? I knew Lacey Gibbins was working with Jamie on a presentation for children’s literature.
“Well, it’s that way for me.”
“I’m just saying, you two seemed to get along great. And what about Jane? She’s only eighteen, Jamie. And she’s not just a typical teen girl. She hasn’t had a lot of love in her life, and maybe that’s why she clings to her relationship with you so much. It might be healthier for her to be out there, having fun.”
“Having fun?” His tone was back to biting. “You mean, screwing other guys.”
“Don’t be crass. I meant dating.”
“She doesn’t want to. She wants me. And I want her. End of story. Jesus Christ, Skye, she makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Why the hell would I give that up? Why would you want me to?”
My cheeks flushed hot at his words, my heart aching in recognition of everything he was feeling because I felt it too.
Water splashed, and his voice drew a little closer to the house as he said, “Jane looks up to you. She listens to you. You say any of this ridiculous shit to her and mess with her head … I swear, Skye, I won’t forgive you.”
“Jamie, I’m sorry, I won’t. This is … I’m putting my crap on you, okay. I love you. I want you to be happy. I want Jane to be happy.” Her voice broke. “I just worry about you. Please don’t be mad at me.”
At his silence, I glanced out the window and saw the siblings were hugging.
I took that moment to disappear upstairs and dump my bag.
Sitting on the bed in Lorna’s room, I stared a little unseeing at the artwork that cluttered the room. I wondered if Skye was right. Were Jamie and I setting ourselves up for heartbreak?
So lost in my thoughts, it took Jamie sitting down beside me on the bed for me to notice his presence. I drew in a breath, startled.
Our eyes locked. His narrowed. “You heard, didn’t you?”
I nodded.
Frustration tightened his features, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me.
“I’m making things weird for you two.”
“No.” He kissed me. Hard, deep, trying to pull me under his spell so I’d forget about their argument.
“Jamie,” I pulled away. “Are you and Skye okay?”
“We’re fine,” he assured me, tucking my hair behind my ear. “And you’re not sleeping in here so don’t get any ideas.” His lips brushed over mine as he curled his hand gently around my neck. It was claiming, dominant, and it made me shiver. “You know you need me at night,” he teased. “I need to be readily available to you.”
I rolled my eyes. Smug bastard. Often, I woke in the middle of the night, wanting him. It was me who kissed him awake. It was me who straddled him in the dark of the night, desperate to have him.
“Fuck, you excite me,” he whispered harshly, gripping my hips as I slid up and down on him.
I frowned, pushing out the memories before they distracted me. “We do have a lot of sex. Is that normal?”
Jamie burst out laughing, pulling me into his body, his laughter fluttering against my neck as he buried his head there.
“Jamie.”
My annoyed tone only made him laugh harder. Finally, he lifted his head, but only to kiss my pinched lips open. “You’re sleeping in my bed, and you’ll reach for me anytime you want. Discussion over.” He moved to stand, hand in mine, attempting to pull me up. I tugged on it, refusing to budge. “What?”
“What did Skye mean about Lacey?”
Jamie sighed and let go of me to run a hand through his hair. “Jane—”
“Well?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “She was here this afternoon. We were going over our presentation for tomorrow.”
“She likes you?”
“She kissed me.”
My heart lurched.
“Something I would have told you without Skye’s help.” Seeing my dubious expression, his brow puckered. “Jesus, Jane, you don’t think I actually wanted her to kiss me.”
I shook my head.
Still, I hated the idea of her lips anywhere near his.
His lips were mine.
My hands clenched into fists in my lap, and Jamie’s gaze dropped to them. “Jane, I pushed her off. I told her it wasn’t happening, and it would never happen. Skye walked in on the whole thing. Mortifying for Lacey. I felt bad for her.”
I narrowed my eyes. “She knows you have a girlfriend.” It wasn’t a question. “I don’t feel bad for her. She wasn’t thinking of my feelings when she kissed you.” I stood and threw him a displeased glare. “I’m hungry.”
I heard his heavy sigh as he followed at my back. “Doe, girls will come onto me. Ask me out. Guys will do the same to you. Doesn’t mean anything. Other than that, we’re both extremely irresistible.”
My lips twitched at his teasing as I thundered down the stairs. Skye was nowhere in sight. Feeling Jamie at my back as I opened the refrigerator, I said, “Well, since you were open with me, I should tell you I got asked out today.” I grabbed some carrots and hummus and shut the door, turning to Jamie, struggling to hide my smile.
His face had darkened. “Who?”
I tried not to laugh at his changed tone. “What happened to ‘it doesn’t mean anything’?”
“Are you messing with me or did someone ask you out?”
“Devin.” I shrugged. “He hoped you and I weren’t serious. I put him straight.” I dipped a carrot into the hummus and took a loud, noisy bite, relishing Jamie’s obvious annoyance. It made me feel better about mine.
“The tall, gangly moron?”
“He’s not a moron.” I offered him a carrot. “I felt bad for him.”
Jamie impatiently waved off the proffered carrot. “I don’t feel bad for him. He knows you have a boyfriend.” He echoed my words. Then Jamie’s expression turned suspicious. “Are you telling the truth?”
“Yes,” I promised. “He asked me out. I told him I was in love with my boyfriend. Note, however, that he didn’t kiss me. My lips don’t have someone else’s lip print on them.”
Suddenly, Jamie sprung at me, bending into my belly before he threw me over his shoulder. I squealed, dropping my carrot. “Jamie!” The world rushed by upside down as he took the stairs two at a time. My excited laughter filled the halls as he rushed toward his bedroo
m.
I was promptly thrown onto the queen-sized bed, my giggles swallowed in Jamie’s hungry kisses until they turned to moans. Just like that, our world condensed to just the two of us.
There was a small part of me that heard Skye’s voice in my head as Jamie moved inside me. Perhaps our love was all-consuming. Perhaps it would devour us.
But as Jamie held my gaze in his and murmured how much he loved me over and over, her voice disappeared, along with my worries.
Who cared if it devoured us?
At least we’d die happy.
9
JAMIE
Twenty years old
Around 6.00 a.m. I awoke from a dream I couldn’t shake. It had been like a movie in my head. I was stuck in this apocalyptic world where Jane was missing. I’d been trying to find her and instead kept getting caught up with these strange individuals who had their own problems.
I was spooning Jane, my face buried in her hair as she slept beside me, not making a sound. The only reason I knew she was alive was because of the gentle rise of her body as she breathed. Not wanting to wake her, I eased out of bed and crossed the room to my desk. I wrote on my laptop, pouring the images that had been in my head into what would become a short story. It might work for my sophomore fiction project.
As always when I wrote, time passed without my awareness of it.
Fingers aching a little, I stretched, cracking my upper back.
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw my bed was empty.
A little smile prodded my mouth.
Jane never disturbed me when I was writing. She treated those times like they were sacred, making me, and what I loved to do, feel more important than anyone had ever made me feel.
Still, I wished she’d stuck around. I would have been happy diving back into bed and fooling around. Not that I was sure she’d be up for that. Her room, which reverted to Lorna’s room during the holidays, was right across the hall from mine, and Jane hadn’t wanted to have sex since Lorna’s arrival from the East Coast a few days ago.
Just in case Lor overheard or some shit.
I tried to convince Jane we could be quiet.
Or at least I could be quiet. I grinned to myself. For someone who was the quietest person I’d ever met, Jane wasn’t very good at keeping her voice down when we made love. Chuckling to myself, I crossed the hall and got in the shower. She had no idea what that did to my ego.
Afterward, I made my way downstairs. The place was empty.
It wasn’t until I switched on the coffee maker that I saw Jane and Lorna out by the pool. I walked over to the sliding glass door, which was already partially open. The murmur of their conversation met my ears as I leaned against the counter to chug back some caffeine. I couldn’t really make out what they were saying, and I didn’t want to.
It was just nice to see them talking.
While Lorna had been surprisingly nice to me since she got back from school, she’d been giving Skye and Jane the cold shoulder. Skye, I didn’t get. And her attitude was driving my big sister into herself.
They’d given her character in the hospital TV show a huge storyline. Since it was about her character being raped by a colleague, a long, drawn-out, months-long storyline, Skye was emotionally drained. I worried about her. Yeah, I was proud of her because I’d caught some clips of the show and she was awesome in it, but the pressure she was under was unreal. I only watched clips, though. No way in hell could I watch my big sister in a simulated rape scene.
Fuck no.
Jane and I barely saw Skye these days, and when we did, she was completely withdrawn. I was concerned about her relapsing, but there wasn’t a lot I could do when Skye kept telling me she was fine and there was no evidence of drug or alcohol abuse in the house.
Still, I didn’t need Lorna giving Skye crap for apparently no reason.
Yet I didn’t want to start anything with my little sis since she and I were in a good place.
I was sitting at the counter eating a bowl of cereal when my girl and Lorna strolled back into the house. Lorna smiled brightly when she saw me.
“Jane says you’ve been writing this morning.”
My eyes flicked to Jane, who wore a pensive expression. “That I have.”
“Well, fingers crossed it’s a huge best seller so I don’t end up looking after you in your old age,” Lorna teased and pressed a quick kiss to my temple before she breezed past. “I’m heading out. I promised my old track mates I’d meet them for lunch on Rodeo Drive. I’ll be back tonight in time for Santa!”
The door slammed shut behind her, and I raised an eyebrow at Jane. “Is it just me or does she seem in a good mood?”
Jane shrugged, grabbed a spoon out of the drawer, and leaned over the counter to spoon a bunch of Cheerios from the mountain I was depleting. She chewed, pretty eyes on me, crunching the Cheerios loudly.
I grinned at her.
She swallowed. “What?”
“You’re cute.”
She wrinkled her nose, but the dimple in her left cheek creased. I wanted to kiss it. I had the urge to kiss it every time she smiled. “Where’s Skye?”
“I don’t know.” I jerked my chin to the patio door. “What were you and Lor talking about?”
Jane leaned her chin in her palm, knocking my spoon out of the way with hers as she reached for more cereal.
“You could get your own,” I teased.
“Why?” She grinned and took another bite. Her words were muffled as she ate, but I think she said, “Yours are delicious.”
“Are you avoiding my question?”
“No. You keep distracting me from the question.” She rounded the counter and hopped onto the stool next to mine.
Reaching for her, I ate with one hand while I rested my other hand on her leg, my fingers caressing the silky skin of her inner thigh. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. It was … it was awkward and weird.” Melancholy darkened her face. I didn’t like it. “For years, Lorna was my best friend, my confidante … and now it’s almost like those years didn’t happen. Or they were part of some other life.”
I pushed away the bowl and grabbed her by the back of the knees until she was up and on my lap. She gave a bark of laughter and took hold of my shoulders before shimmying comfortably into place. Her legs dangled over the side of the stool as she ran her fingers through my hair.
Unable to help myself, I kissed her. Soft, sweet, not trying to take it anywhere. Just a comforting kiss. I stared into her eyes when I pulled back. “She’s talking to you, though. Isn’t that a step forward?”
“I guess.” Jane’s brow furrowed. “And she told me she wants to be friends again, that time away has given her perspective, and she can see how close you and I are. She can see that you love me, and she’s over it.” She smiled and I couldn’t help but kiss her again.
“I sense a but,” I murmured against her lips.
“Well, don’t you think it’s odd how mad she is at Skye? I asked her about it, and she said she didn’t really want to talk about it, only that it hurt her that Skye took our side in the whole thing.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. That didn’t sound like someone who was “over it.” “Skye didn’t take sides. And she doesn’t need that shit right now. I’ll talk to Lorna.”
“I can see that idea brings you much joy.”
“I was kind of enjoying her being nice to me, but I’ll sacrifice it if I have to.”
“You’re such a good brother.” Jane kissed me. “And such a good boyfriend.” Her voice was huskier, her kiss deeper.
I groaned, nipping at her mouth. “If I’m such a good boyfriend, don’t I deserve an early Christmas present?”
“Didn’t I give that to you four days ago?”
I laughed at the way she quirked her eyebrow. Four days ago, I’d taken her to the ballet again as her Christmas present. The Nutcracker. Turned out, I wasn’t a fan. Bored, I’d nodded off. Next thing I knew, Jane was waking me and telling me to follow her
out of the theater, but to wait two minutes before I did.
“I’ll be in the ladies’ restroom on this level.”
Instead of sitting through the rest of The Nutcracker, I’d fucked my girlfriend in the empty restroom. I’d bent her over the sink, while she’d held my gaze in the mirror above it, and I’d thrust in and out of her, mindless with want. Jane was so into it, she came harder than I’d ever felt her come. I had to cover her mouth so no one would hear us.
I felt myself getting hard just remembering it.
“That was my Christmas present to you.”
She guffawed. “Oh, baby.” She shook her head, pouting condescendingly. “When a guy’s girlfriend gives it to him in a public place, it’s always her gift to him. In fact, let’s broaden that. When a guy’s girlfriend lets him do anything sexual to her, it’s always her gift to him.”
Shaking with laughter at the cocky little brat, I squeezed her hips and ground her over my throbbing dick, loving the little hitch in her breathing. “Yeah? So, all those times I’ve made you come so hard you lose your mind, they weren’t gifts from me to you?”
“Well …” She considered this as she undulated in my lap. My grip on her tightened and I hissed through my teeth as my pleasure sharpened. “I think maybe I need you to do it again, so I can decide.”
I jumped off the stool, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, biting her lip between her teeth. When I didn’t start walking her upstairs, I saw her eyebrows furrow with confusion. I rested her on the edge of the dining table and pulled savagely at her pajama shorts.
My jeans and boxers were around my ankles by the time she gasped, “Jamie, here?”
Her shock was edged with excitement. I crushed my mouth down over hers and thrust into her tight, sleek, warm heat. Our lips parted as we groaned together.
“Anyone could walk in,” I grunted, fucking into her and feeling her pussy ripple around me at the words.
Her fingers bit into my waist as she tried to lift her hips off the table to meet mine, but I gripped them, holding her still so I could slam into her at the angle I knew would blow her mind.
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