Jack
When I made my deal with the devil, I thought I was on my way to my rock ’n’ roll dream. Too bad I didn’t read the fine print. Having it all meant giving up the only girl I knew I’d ever love. Five years later, I’m drumming in the hottest rock band in the country, but I live like a monk.
Fate hands me an opportunity to reconnect with my perfect girl, giving me one glorious night with Clio Barnes. Our chemistry is off the charts. Too bad fate plays by her own rules. When Clio hears my bandmate’s idea of a joke, she believes I’ve used her, dissolved our love into a one-night stand, and she blows out of my life. When our tour ends, I’m determined to find her again, no matter how well she hides from me.
Clio
All my life, I’ve been invisible. For a brief moment five years ago, Jack Whitehorse saw me. And he made me feel like the center of his universe. But that was an illusion. Music was Jack’s only love. A chance encounter after a Balefire concert allows us to reconnect, but once again, I’m playing second fiddle to his rock ’n’ roll muse.
When the pregnancy test comes back positive, I decide to keep our baby secret. I can’t force Jack to play for me—I wouldn’t want to. Then he shows up unexpectedly one day, knocking on my door and demanding to be let in. He leaves me no choice but to tell him about the baby. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one with a secret. But the one he’s been keeping might end us for good.
Other books by Tam DeRudder Jackson
The Talisman Series
Talisman
Warrior
Prophetess
(novella)
Bard
Druid
The Balefire Series
Play For Me
Play for Me
Tam DeRudder Jackson
Play For Me
Copyright 2021 Tam DeRudder Jackson
All rights reserved
This publication in its entirety nor any part of this book thereof can be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted in any form, electronic, physical, or mechanical, or by any means. This includes recording, photocopying, or storage in any informational system without the prior written permission of the copyrights holder, except for the use of brief excerpts in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. References to events, places, people, brands, media, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to events, places, brands, media, incidents, or people living or dead is purely coincidental.
Editor: Nikki Busch Editing
Cover Design: Steamy Designs
Formatting: Damonza
Distribution and POD: IngramSpark
Print ISBN number 9781736469514
Ebook ISBN number 9781736469521
For Bri Brasher Weigel
For all the laughs and your incredible support
You rock!
Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Epilogue
Chapter One
Acknowledgements
About the author
Prologue
Five years ago
Jack
As I stared into the unblinking eyes of the shark, I couldn’t escape the jaws of my own ambition. Harrison Barnes pushed the papers across the wide expanse of his mahogany desk. From the breast pocket inside his bespoke suit jacket, he produced a heavy gold-plated pen. Carefully, he placed it on top of the papers. I tried not to squirm in the deep leather chair as I stared at his fingers protectively—possessively—touching the cap end of that pen.
“Sign here.”
The rain pounding silently against the insulated panes of the windows in Barnes’s corner office froze into individual droplets. The pendulum directing the second hand of the antique wall clock stopped midmotion. One second before the eleventh hour. My breath hitched halfway into my lungs as my mind blurred into a vacuum of white space.
The pendulum finished its swing. Raindrops slid down the windowpane. The song “Nothing to Lose” played on a loop inside my head. I picked my hand up off my lap, reached across the desk, and grabbed that shiny pen. I pulled the cap off the tip and set it carefully aside. The page in front of me blurred for a second before righting itself as dark black ink flowed over the dotted line.
“And date it.”
There was nothing ominous about scratching the numbers and slants, but something about seeing them beside my signature set off alarm bells in my head.
“And here.”
Barnes slid another page across to me, and I repeated the ritual signing. At that moment, the jaws of the shark chomped down and bit me in two. “Of course, you read the fine print before you signed, correct?”
Fine print? What the hell? Trying to swallow my heart down my throat and back into my chest, I pulled the page closer and read.
“Are you kidding me? I can’t talk to her in any form, anywhere? Not even to tell her about this?”
I didn’t notice that I’d leaped at him across the expanse of his desk until I saw his hands braced against the edge of it, his body angled forward to meet mine, his eyes flashing a warning—or a challenge.
Yet his carefully modulated voice never changed inflection. “I believe that’s how the contract reads. The one you just signed and dated.”
I slammed my hand down on his expensive desk, the sound like a shot. “That’s bullshit! You can’t do this!”
“I can, son.” His smile was feral. “Not only that, I did.” He sat back and steepled his fingers over his chest. “Unless you’d rather not be the drummer in the hottest band to come out of Denver since Balefire. Unless you don’t want to live your dream, take care of your family . . .”
Those alarm bells in my head crescendoed to give me a headache. “What’s my family got to do with this?”
“As it turns out, your dad is in negotiations to be the subcontractor on the summer home I’m building on Mount Evans. Since this is a private rather than a government project, he can’t claim his minority status to gain or maintain the contract. And I make final decisions on every aspect of the project . . .”
“You’re saying if my dad is going to have work for the next year, if I’m going to have a shot at my dream, I don’t talk to your daughter at all for the next two years.” I deflated back into my chair, all the fight gone out of me at what Barnes could do to me and my family. At what my dreams cost me. “Why?”
“Because you’re not the right man for her.” He leaned forward, pinning me to my chair with his eyes. “And you never will be.”
“You mean the man you want for her,” I shot back through gritted teeth.
“It’s the same thing.”
When I’d walked into Harrison Barnes’s office during my lunch break from classes, I thought I’d won the lottery. I was dating the perfect girl, and I was about to become the drummer for Rude Awakening and make some real money. When I graduated in a few weeks, I’d be on my way to giving her everything. When I walked back into my high school after my meeting, I couldn’t even give Clio a smile when I saw her in the hall waiting for me.
“Jack, where have you been?”
I shook my head and ke
pt walking.
“Jack? Are you in some kind of trouble?”
I nodded my head over my shoulder. Clio glanced behind me to see the goon in the three-piece suit Barnes sent to make sure I kept my word.
“Talk to me, Jack. Maybe I can help you.”
“Can’t.” I swallowed against what had to come next. “We’re done.”
The hurt in her gorgeous gray eyes eviscerated me, and I had to get out of there. I sprinted down the hall in the direction of my history class as the tears in Clio’s voice rang in my ears.
“Jack? Can we talk about this?” A sob stopped her voice. “Jack? What did I do?”
Dodging into a restroom outside my class, I barely made it to a stall before I heaved up my guts. A long time later when I finally had myself marginally together, I walked out to find Barnes’s suit leaning against the wall, waiting for me. It was all I could do not to punch the look of elitist pity right off the guy’s face. Instead, I went to class. I may have taken a step toward reaching my dream. I may have saved my family. But I sure as shit lost the only girl I knew I’d ever love.
Chapter One
Three Years Ago
Jack
Dez grabbed a handful of my leather jacket at the shoulder and tried to jerk me up from the nondescript chair I slumped down on in a generic room in a generic hotel in another generic town. We’d been on tour nonstop since I’d joined Rude Awakening at the end of my senior year in high school, and I needed a damn break. Mainly, I needed a break from the band. Not that our lead singer noticed—or cared.
“What the fuck, Whitehorse? We rocked the house tonight, and you’re not joining the party. Again? What’s up with you, man?”
“I don’t feel like getting shitfaced tonight.” I sighed. Truth was, drunk and stupid with the band wore on me. When I started playing with Rude Awakening, I partied because I thought I had to. After two years, I was over it.
“Yeah, like that’s new,” Dez complained, interrupting my thoughts. “There are some smokin’ hot girls waiting down the hall in Ryan’s room, and Blick scored some quality weed. You need to join us. Be a part of the band for once.”
“Let it go, yeah? I left it all on the stage tonight, and I’m tired.”
“You’re twenty fuckin’ years old. How the fuck can you be tired?”
I yanked away from his grip and stalked across the room, shoving my hands through my hair as I tried to control my temper. Ryan and Ross, the twins, and Blick, our manager, mostly left me alone, but Dez never gave up. “I said, let it go. I don’t feel like partying. For the first time in a week I get to sleep in a real bed instead of a bunk on the bus, and I want to enjoy it for once.”
“Fine, man. Have it your way. Jesus, when did you become such a fun-sucker?” he muttered as he headed for the door.
I flipped him the bird and headed into the bathroom to shower off the smoke and sweat of the concert. An actual shower instead of something out of a camper sounded almost as good as having a bed to myself. The bonus? Not dealing with the clank of bottles and the noxious stink of cigarettes and weed I usually put up with on the bus when I tried to sleep as we rolled down the road to the next gig.
’Course, Dez being Dez, I should have known he walked away too easy. I’d barely stepped under the spray and closed my eyes, letting the hot water ease my tense muscles when I felt cool air sliding over my body. Slitting open one eye, I was treated to the sight of a naked girl, all long golden hair and big tits. That’s about all I could see of her through the steam.
Her breathy “Hey baby,” seductive smile, and all that naked skin on offer should have turned me on in a heartbeat. I won’t lie, my dick hardened up pretty fast. But a picture of intense gray eyes and a cascade of fire-red hair flashed across my brain, and another night of empty sex lost its appeal.
“Dez send you?”
“He said you were waiting for me. Looks like he was right.”
She stepped closer and reached for me. I grabbed her hand before she could put it on the goods and held her away. “You probably shouldn’t believe everything Dez says.”
Reaching behind me, I turned off the spray, pushed the shower curtain aside, and stepped out. First, I handed her a towel, then I grabbed another and wrapped it around my waist. “Did you come from Ryan’s room?”
“Yeah. He’s really cute, but I wanted to be with you, Jack. You have so much power and energy onstage. I just know you’re going to be something special in bed.” Deliberately, she let the towel I handed her slip through her fingers.
“Here’s the thing, darlin’. I don’t want to be an asshole here, but I didn’t ask for you, and I’m not sleeping with you.”
“What do you mean? Am I not pretty enough for you?”
The pout on her face and the emotion in her voice alerted me to the inevitable waterworks. Back when I started with the band, tears would have made me give in, but after ten or twenty girls using that particular trick over the last two years, the ploy didn’t work so much anymore. But she was a fan, and I had to think about social media and the band and all that happy shit. “You’re gorgeous, a real hottie, but I’m beat. Tell me something. Did you even meet Ryan before Dez sent you to my room?”
“No, and I really wanted to meet him.” The girl’s lower lip covered her upper one as she pooched it out like a toddler on the edge of a tantrum. When she batted her eyes, I saw through the act.
The way she kind of lit up at Ryan’s name gave me my out.
“Tell you what. Get dressed and I’ll walk you back to Ryan’s room. But I gotta tell you, Ross is the better lover of the two. I’ve heard that from every girl who’s spent a night with him.”
“Not you?” But she picked up the towel and started drying herself off.
“Oh, I’m awesome when I’m on my game. But I’m not on my game tonight, babe. Someone as pretty as you should be shown a super good time.” I smiled at her as I let my eyes roam over her. Either I’m a much better actor than I thought or she was more drunk than she looked because she finished drying off and stepped back into her dress pretty fast. She wore only the tight red dress, a pair of damn sexy heels, and not a scrap of underwear. I had to hand it to her: the girl had come prepared for a good time.
After stepping back into my jeans, I pulled a clean T-shirt over my head and led Blondie by the hand back down to the party cranking in Ryan’s room. We wove through the packed crowd until I found Ross with a beauty already seated on his lap.
“Ross this is—“ I realized we hadn’t made it to introductions before we’d seen each other naked, not that it mattered.
“Jade,” the blonde supplied.
“Jade.” Bending down, I whispered in his ear, “She has absolutely nothing on beneath that dress. Also, I might have mentioned how well you can satisfy a lady.”
“You, Jack, are a gentleman and a scholar.” Ross grinned. With renewed interest, he eyed Blondie down and up. “So, Jade, you like the show?”
“It was the best!” she gushed. “I don’t know how you play all those notes so fast.”
“I have talented hands. Why don’t you sit down here and let me tell you about them?” He indicated his unoccupied knee, and the girl wasted no time perching there.
“Enjoy your evening, Ross,” I said with a smirk.
“I’m sure I will, Jack. Don’t bore yourself too much with SportsCenter or whatever it is you do by yourself.”
I flipped him the finger, his laughter sounding in my ears as I walked over to the minibar. I grabbed a beer and made sure to catch Dez’s eye as I tipped it back. A few minutes later, I slipped out through the crowd and wandered back to my room, locking the door with the deadbolt this time.
Tomorrow, we’d be back in Denver for a few days, right in time for Clio’s high school graduation. And the end of my contract with Harrison Barnes. Dad had successfully bid on Barnes’s luxury home construction, meaning he could put a little aside for my younger brother Cameron to go to college. So far, Barnes hadn’t made good on
his threat to blackball my dad’s business, so I thought maybe I could take a chance. I hadn’t talked to Clio in two long years, though I’d risked breaching my contract with her father whenever I Instagram stalked her via one of the guys’ accounts. But I had to see her, or pictures of her at least, or I’d probably lose my damn mind.
In the two years since I walked away from her to follow my dream of drumming in a band, I worried she’d find someone else, someone in her social class who could set her up in the style she’d been raised in rather than someone who went to a private high school on scholarship. Maybe she’d hook up with someone who wouldn’t take a chance on losing her to follow his dream. Of course, when I signed the contract with her father, I hadn’t thought I’d have to give her up entirely. I thought I’d only be unable to date her physically for a while. We could still talk to each other at school and on the phone, text, communicate on social media. But Harrison Barnes wasn’t a successful businessman because he skipped the fine print. Too bad I hadn’t read it before I signed my ticket to stardom—and out of Clio’s life completely.
From what I saw on her social media, it didn’t look like she’d hooked up with anyone else during her last two years of high school. From the few posts she made, it seemed she only studied and worked on completing her required community service project for graduation. There were no new photos of her, though, and I wondered if she’d changed in the last two years. If anything, I bet she was even more beautiful than she was on our last date, her cheeks glowing, eyes shining, lips pink and swollen from my kisses. Thinking about her kisses left me hard, and for the thousandth time in the last two years, I wondered about my choices. Those kisses—tentative and soft one minute, demanding and hungry the next—turned me on more than any one-night stand I’d had since joining the band.
Before I met Clio my senior year, I thought music was the only girl I’d ever need. A life on the road, making music and scoring as much pussy as I wanted, the whole sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll lifestyle, filled my dreams. Then one day she walked into my calculus class, this quiet sophomore with intense gray eyes, porcelain skin, and a gorgeous mane of auburn hair. The bonus was her scary-smart brain. It took me about a minute to figure out she was the whole package. Clio Barnes became my drug of choice, and I couldn’t stay away from her.
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