by Nicola Jane
I stare at the cash, unable to find words. Chains doesn’t know me at all, because if he did, he’d know how insulted this would make me feel. “I’ll pay your rent,” he continues. “Food, baby stuff.” I nod, folding my arms across my chest. I need him to leave before the tears fall. Damn these hormones! “Maybe we shouldn’t tell Riggs just yet,” he adds.
“Get out,” I mutter.
“Leia, we need to talk about what happens next.” He sighs impatiently.
“Get out,” I repeat a little louder. Diesel’s ears prick up. “Now.”
“Not until we’ve talked,” he snaps. Diesel snarls and Chains gives him a wary look. “Lover boy trained him for you, did he?” he mutters.
“Get the fuck out!” I yell, taking Chains by surprise. I grab the money and shove it into his chest. “I hate you. I don’t wanna see you again.” I begin to sob and he makes a grab for me, trying to pull me into his chest, but I push him away. “No. You can’t make this better.”
“What did I do? I’m trying to do the right thing by you and the baby.”
“You don’t even know what the right thing is. It certainly isn’t throwing money my way and telling me to give up a career I’ve worked hard for.” I take a deep breath and push my fingers against my temples. My head hurts almost as much as my heart. Things feel so complicated right now. “We’ve both moved on. When I think about how you’ve treated me, the things you’ve said and done-” A sarcastic laugh escapes me.
“What do you want, Leia?”
“I want you to go.”
He sighs heavily, shaking his head as he leaves.
Days pass and I don’t hear from Chains. I’ve invited Ryan round to set things straight. Now Chains knows, things feel different. I never wanted to pretend Ryan was the father, but he seemed so desperate to give us a try that I felt bad turning him away, but it isn’t working. I keep using him as my lifeline and I’m being so unfair and between shifts at the hospital and resting because of the insane amount of sickness I'm getting, I’ve hardly had time to see him.
I invited Ryan here because I’d offered to watch Malia so that Anna could meet Riggs to talk again. They do an awful lot of talking, but it doesn’t seem to get them anywhere.
I let Ryan in and take him through to the kitchen. Malia is asleep upstairs and I don’t want us to wake her. “Can I get you a drink?” I ask and he shakes his head. He looks different somehow. He isn’t clean shaven like usual and he’s got dark circles under his eyes. “Are you okay?”
“You don’t think it’s working,” he mutters.
I shake my head, relieved that he’s seeing it too. “No.”
“But we’ve hardly seen each other. You haven’t given us a fair chance.”
“If I'm honest, it was never going to work. We’ve tried more than once.”
He scowls. Usually he’s smiling and fun, but tonight, he looks annoyed and agitated. “I’ve put a lot of time into us,” he mutters. “Your boyfriend paid me a visit.”
“Why didn’t you call me and tell me that?” I ask. “I was surprised when Chains told me and I hadn’t heard it from you.”
“Does it matter? You’re choosing him over me. I can give you security and money. What can he give you?”
I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. “I think you should go,” I say quietly. “Maybe we can talk when you’ve got your head round it.”
He moves quickly and it takes me by surprise. He pushes his face to mine. “Does he push you about, Leia? Is that what you like?”
I shake my head and try to remain calm. “I’m not getting back with Chains.”
“Even worse, you want to do it alone?” He laughs. “What hope will that kid have with a single, young, biker trash mother looking after it?”
My eyes widen. This is so unlike the Ryan I thought I knew. I’m lost for words. He storms out, slamming the door behind him. I rush over to it and lock it, and my hands shake as I try to secure it. What the hell was that?
The following morning, I tell Anna what happened over breakfast. She stares wide-eyed, just as shocked as I was. “Maybe Riggs should have a word,” she says.
“No. I think he was just upset, and who can blame him? I’ve led him on and I totally deserved his reaction. I blame hormones.”
“You didn’t lead him on,” she protests. “He pushed you to give it a go and he said it was a trial.”
“Yeah, but I knew it wouldn’t work. I was clutching at straws. I wanted to like him, I really did. The thought of doing this alone was scary, but now I’m used to the idea, I know I can do it.”
“I never doubted that for a minute.”
“What about you and Riggs?”
Anna takes a bite of her toast. “He infuriates me. He said I overreact, but I don’t think I do. He never thinks before he speaks. When I’m around him, he ignores me and doesn’t lay a finger on me, but when I move out, he’s sorry and begs me back. I don’t get it.”
“All this back and forth bullshit isn’t good for Malia and Ziggy, though,” I point out.
“I know. I’m lucky Malia is used to moving home. But you’re right, it’s not good for them. That’s another reason I don’t want to rush back to the clubhouse. I want to make sure he’s ready this time.”
CHAINS
It feels good to be back in church with my brothers. As I look around the table, I realise how much I’ve missed these guys. Riggs stomps in followed by Cree. “What's the situation with Raven?” he grunts as he takes a seat at the head of the table.
“She’s improving every day, but she’ll need help when she gets outta the hospital.”
“The problem with Cobra is worse than we thought. He’s forming alliances against the Kings. I think he’s planning something big to bring us down.”
“Like?” asks Blade.
“We don’t know,” mutters Cree. “But he’s got enough unsavoury characters siding with him that we think it's best to go back into lockdown.”
“We don’t know what he’s promising them, but we’re thinking it’s free run of the streets. Some of them assholes have wanted to see our downfall for years,” says Riggs.
“So, you want me to bring Raven to the club?” I ask.
“As soon as,” says Cree. “We can’t afford to waste time.”
I stand. “She’ll need a nurse. Can I bring someone in?”
“No outsiders. Leia can do whatever she needs,” says Riggs, and I exchange looks with Cree. It was bad enough before, but if anyone finds out I got her pregnant . . . fuck, this is dangerous ground. I head out without another word.
Raven is excited when I tell her about the club. I’ve spoken so much about it and she knows it’s nothing like the Manchester charter. I’m at the nurses station signing for Raven’s meds when I hear Leia’s voice and a shiver runs through me. I watch her as she moves about behind the desk, looking for a key she’s muttering about. When she feels me looking, she glances up and her expression darkens. She notices the paperwork before me. “You’re taking Raven home?” she asks and I nod. “I thought she wasn’t well enough?”
“She’s signing herself out of here,” I say. “Have you spoken to Riggs today?”
“He tried to call, but I’m busy working.”
“Maybe you should call him back,” I suggest. “It’s important.”
Leia stares at me for a few seconds and then it dawns on her and she shakes her head. “No,” she snaps. “No bloody way am I going on lockdown.”
“Cobra is getting some kind of army together. It’s not safe.”
“I have work to do,” she huffs. She goes to walk away, but I go after her, taking her by the arm to still her.
“I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible. I promise not to hassle you.”
“NO!”
“Leia, you need to be safe. Now isn’t the time to be stubborn and pig headed.”
Her eyes widen. It was the wrong thing to say. “Let go of my arm, now.” I release her instantly and she stomps awa
y angrily. She’s Riggs’ problem now. I have Raven to think about. I ignore the nagging voice in my head telling me that she’s carrying my baby and she's every bit my problem.
“Be careful,” giggles Raven as I steer the wheelchair into the club, catching the wheel on the door frame for the third time.
“I need training plates,” I mutter.
Frankie comes towards us, smiling. “You must be Raven. I knew you’d have red hair.” she says.
Raven laughs. “Take after my grandmother apparently.”
“Why don’t I take Raven to meet the ol’ ladies?” suggests Frankie, and I reluctantly hand over the wheelchair.
I knock on the office door and Riggs shouts for me to enter. “I saw Leia at the hospital. Are you bringing her in?” I ask.
“Cree went to get her and Anna, but I’ve got a feeling they won’t come quietly.”
“Yeah, I mentioned lockdown and she freaked.”
“I’m gonna offer to put them far away from me,” says Riggs. “Seeing as I’m the reason they both left.” I don’t bother to correct him. I like my head on my shoulders. A commotion in the main room has Riggs groaning. “That must be them now,” he mutters, standing.
I follow him. Anna looks pissed as Riggs moves towards her and Leia. “Welcome home, ladies,” he says and Anna looks like she’s ready to punch him.
“You know this baby is due soon. How long am I going to be stuck here?”
“I have no idea,” he mutters. “You can take the floor below mine and I’ll stay outta your way.” I notice Leia smirk at Riggs’ use of my earlier words. “You too, Leia. I had no choice but to bring you back here, but I know you don’t wanna be here, so I’ll try and make it a short stay,” Riggs adds.
“I’ll take my old room, thanks,” snaps Anna.
“Me too,” adds Leia. “I’m gonna go unpack.”
“Actually,” says Riggs and she stops. “I need a favour. We need a favour,” he corrects, glancing at me. “Raven will need medical care. Bandage changes and stuff.”
Leia glares at me and I shrug awkwardly just as Frankie wheels Raven back into the main room. Leia nods. “Whatever.” Then she rushes off towards her room.
“Did you bring Ryan here?” asks Frankie. “He’s the baby’s father, so he could be a target too.”
“Leia’s pregnant?” asks Raven, and Frankie smiles wide, nodding.
Raven stares at me. “Interesting.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” says Anna. “They aren’t on good terms right now.”
I’m relieved to hear it. The last thing I need is that shit here rubbing my face in it. “We’ve made you a room down here,” says Riggs to me and he leads me through to a back room that is usually full of junk. “It’ll be easier for Raven.” I nod and pat his shoulder. I’m grateful that he thought about that.
Chapter Fourteen
Leia
Being back at the club with Chains is my worst nightmare. But just as I thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, here I am, changing bandages on his ol’ lady. It’s made worse by the fact that I actually like Raven. She’s sweet and kind and funny and beautiful. Damn, I can’t find one fault on the woman. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.
I tap lightly on the door in case she’s sleeping. Her pain meds knock her out. The door opens and Chains’ smile drops. He’s wet, water drips from his hair, and he has a towel draped around his hips. The guy is sex on a stick—a stick I’m not allowed to touch despite wanting it so bad. “Bandages?” I mutter, holding up a pack.
He opens the door wider and I step inside. Raven smiles and pushes herself to sit. “I read the book you gave me. It was so good, I stayed up into the night reading,” she says.
“Much to my annoyance,” grumbles Chains. I try to ignore him as he moves around the room, rubbing his wet hair on a towel and gathering clothes. I carefully unwrap the bandage covering the wound on Raven’s head.
“Everyone needs an Edward in their life.” I sigh wistfully.
“Tell me about it,” says Raven. “The way he cares for Bella is so . . . ” She finishes with a sigh and I laugh.
“Christ. He’s not real, so of course, he’s going to be fan-fuckin-tastic,” grumbles Chains. He disappears into their en-suite bathroom.
“He wasn’t happy I had the light on most of the night,” she whispers and I force a small smile. “Anna mentioned you’re having a baby?” I nod, thinking of good ways to kill Anna. “Congratulations. That’s amazing. You always wear such baggy clothing, I couldn’t tell.”
“I hate all the questions and the judgy stares,” I mutter.
“How far gone are you?”
“Almost five months,” I reply.
“Show me. I love seeing baby bumps. I find the whole thing fascinating,” says Raven. I glance back at the closed bathroom door before slightly lifting my jumper to show my neat little bump. Raven gently places her hand there. It’s the first time anyone’s touched my bump because I always keep it hidden, and for the first time ever, I feel proud of it. “Lose the jumper. Your bump is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” She smiles.
The bathroom door opens and Chains steps out. I drop the jumper back in place, open the new bandage, and begin to wrap it around her head. “Chains, you have to see this,” says Raven eagerly. She lifts my jumper. My hands are busy, but my eyes must convey panic because Raven smiles gently. “Leia, stop being ashamed. Chains won’t judge you and neither will I. Look, Chains, Leia has the cutest bump I’ve ever seen.” Chains’ eyes burn into my stomach. “Anna said you’re not on speaking terms with the father,” continues Raven, oblivious to my discomfort.
I fasten the bandage. “No” is all I say because I don’t want to go into detail. I pack up my mess and step out of Raven’s reach. My jumper falls back into place. “I’ll be back with your meds shortly,” I say and then I leave, letting out the breath I’d been holding as soon as I step out of the room.
I’m in the kitchen measuring out Raven’s meds when Chains comes in. “Show me again,” he mutters. I shake my head and continue to count out the pills. “Show me again,” he repeats more forcefully. I ignore him. If someone comes in, they’d question it, and I can’t take the risk. “Leia, show me!” he yells and I jump in fright.
The kitchen door opens and Vinn saunters in looking calm and relaxed. I smile. It’s nice to see him and he looks pleased to see me too. Diesel is at his heels and I scowl playfully. “Traitor,” I say.
“How’s my favourite girl doing?” he grins, ignoring Chains.
“Good. You?”
Vinn kisses both my cheeks. “We have so much to discuss,” he says. It’s the first time I’ve seen Vinn since my pregnancy became common knowledge. “Finish what you’re doing and come and find me.”
“She was talking with me,” snaps Chains.
Vinn glances at him like he’s only just noticed he’s in the room. “I’ll be here for a few hours. No rush, Leia.” He leaves again with Diesel at his side.
“I’m sick of seeing men fall at your feet,” he growls and I laugh. They’re hardly lining up to take on a pregnant young woman. He tugs the hem of my jumper so that I’m facing him. I stare into his eyes as he lifts my jumper. His large hands go either side of my bump and I bite the inside of my cheek to reign in my emotions. “I can’t pretend this is nothing to do with me,” he whispers. “It’s killing me.”
“I have to take these meds to Raven,” I mutter. His hands fall back to his sides and he nods.
“All of this could have been handled differently,” I add. “But now, it’s too late.”
I enter Raven’s room to find Vinn seated in the rocking chair. “Oh, sorry,” I say.
“It’s fine,” says Vinn. “Riggs asked me to come and talk to Raven about her options once she’s feeling better.” Vinn owns businesses, so it makes sense, but I find it strange that Chains would want Raven to work. I give Raven her different meds. “Are you ready to talk?” he adds. I nod and he follows me f
rom the room.
We find a quiet corner in the club bar. “Gia’s worried about you,” he begins.
“She doesn’t need to be. I’m fine.”
“Should I have the father killed?” he asks seriously, and I almost spit out my drink of water. He hands me a napkin and I wipe my mouth. “It was a joke,” he says dryly. “What do you need? I can get you anything you want.” I smile at his offer. Why couldn’t I fall in love with him, he’s so kind.
“I don’t need anything, Vinn.”
“I want to give you the world. I have property. You can move in whenever you need to. I’ll have it decorated to your tastes with all the top of the range baby equipment,” he says.
I place my hand on his and smile gratefully. “Vinn, you are so amazing. You’ll be an amazing husband one day. But I have all I need for now. Thank you so much for the offer.”
“Is the father stepping up?” he grits out.
I shrug. “With money, but it’s not money I want.” I sigh. “I want him to step up and look after me and his child. Tell the world that we’re his.” I shake my head. It’s the most I’ve told anyone. “But he’s scared.”
“Of what?”
“Losing everything. If he stepped up, he’d lose everything else around him.”
“You’re worth it,” says Vinn, kissing my hand. “I’d give up everything to have you. He’s crazy for not seeing that.”
Chains’ eyes burn into us from across the bar. “Why does the heart always want what’s not good for it?” I ask.