by Malinda Lo
“Your dad’s going to pick you up after school,” her mom said. “Wait for him inside, and he’ll call you when he gets here.”
“He doesn’t have to pick me up. I can walk home like usual.”
“Not today. We don’t know whether those protesters will be back, and I want you to be safe.”
“How long is Dad going to be here?” Reese had thought he would go back to Seattle after the Sophia Curtis interview. “In San Francisco, I mean.”
“We haven’t decided yet,” her mom said, pulling her hand away, but not before Reese glimpsed the reluctance within her.
Reese gave her mom a sharp glance. “Is something going on?”
The expression on her mom’s face was closed off. “Nothing you need to worry about, honey. You’d better get inside. I don’t want you to be late.”
Reese could tell her mom was being cagey, but it was clear she wasn’t going to talk about it now. Irritation flared inside her. She hated it when her mom treated her like a kid. “Fine,” she said, and opened the door.
“Reese—”
“I’ll see you tonight, Mom.” She stepped outside.
She had intended to put up her mental walls, but the last-minute conversation with her mom had distracted her. She wasn’t prepared for the force of interest that slammed into her as the reporters and students thronging the steps noticed her. Snatches of thought seemed to strike her like a rain of pebbles, and once it started, she couldn’t find the mental focus necessary to shield herself.
Here—she’s here—Reese—interview—Reese Holloway—
All she could do was put her head down and ignore as much as she could, keeping her gaze on the ground as she ran up the steps. When she pulled open the heavy metal door and went inside, the lobby was full of students and teachers, but she didn’t see David. They had talked the night before, and he said he’d meet her in the lobby first thing.
The door slammed shut behind her. Everyone seemed to turn toward her at once, and the volume of conversation dropped to a sudden hush. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing of her heart. Where was David?
Across the mosaic-tiled lobby, Reese recognized Madison squeezing her way through a clump of cheerleaders. Behind her were Bri and Robbie, and all the way in the back Reese spotted Julian’s curly-haired head bobbing above the others. On the other side of the space, a knot of senior guys was standing by the trophy case near the front office, and she thought she recognized a couple of them from Eric Chung’s party. But no David. She began to cross the lobby alone, deciding to go directly to her assigned locker. The students swirled around her as she walked, silent but curious. She felt the intensity of their interest in waves of heat on her skin.
She was halfway across the lobby when someone grabbed her arm. “Reese,” David said.
She jerked in surprise. His hand slid down to hers. Snap. The connection between them was sharp and bright, like a lifeline to a drowning person. “Hey,” she said. As she looked at him everyone else’s emotions rolled back. Breathing room.
David was wearing a gray-and-white-striped oxford shirt with the sleeves pushed up, his shirttail hanging out of his dark jeans. He had done his hair the same way the stylist did the day of the TV shoot. He smiled at her, and she felt a little woozy inside.
What’s the rush? he asked her.
I didn’t see you.
I’m here.
The night before she had lain awake for hours, anxiety making her sweat as she thought about the scrutiny she would face when she walked into Kennedy. Those who had been at Eric Chung’s party on Friday night knew about her and David already, but after the Sophia Curtis interview, the whole world knew. The whole world.
David had tried to reassure her over the phone, but he didn’t entirely get it. She wasn’t upset that her relationship with David was in the open. She was happy that she was with him, and she was happy that he wanted to be with her. It was the fact that people might now be thinking about her that made her feel sick. She had always thought celebrities who said things like “I’m a private person” were protesting too much, but now she understood what they meant. The idea of strangers thinking about her love life made her skin crawl. She knew what people said online; she had seen it. It made her want to hide in a hole.
Reese became aware of the fact that she was standing in the middle of the school lobby holding David’s hand, and her face heated up. Whispers whirled around them, but she couldn’t make out what anyone was saying.
I have to go to my locker, she thought.
I’ll go with you.
They headed across the lobby together. The emotions of the gathered students hovered in the background of her consciousness like fog waiting at the top of a hill. As long as she focused on her connection with David, she could keep the fog at bay. By the time she and David crossed the whole expanse of the lobby, her friends were gathered together: Madison with an excited smile on her face; Bri looking self-conscious; Robbie dressed extra goth for the first day of school; Julian with an ironic grin as he saw her clutching David’s hand. As they crowded around her and welcomed her back, she thought: I can do this.
They were walking down the hall toward the lockers when Reese saw a familiar man standing outside the door to Mr. Chapman’s old classroom, talking to the assistant principal. It was Alex Hernandez, the CASS liaison who had been at the meeting with Charles Lovick. She couldn’t tell if he saw her or not; he didn’t look away from his conversation with the assistant principal.
Keep going, David thought.
She passed Hernandez and tried to focus on her friends, who were teasing her about her most recent television appearance, but she couldn’t help wondering if Hernandez was taking over Mr. Chapman’s class. Lovick hadn’t specified. Mr. Chapman had taught Principles of Democracy—the required social studies class for seniors—in addition to coaching the debate team. Obviously, the school district had to hire someone to replace him.
As she reached her assigned locker, she turned back to look down the hallway. Hernandez was still there, but this time he was looking directly at her. She glanced away quickly. The idea of him replacing Coach Chapman filled her with frustrated rage. She knew he had nothing to do with Mr. Chapman’s death, but it felt linked. If Mr. Chapman hadn’t died, she and David might not have crashed onto Area 51, and none of this stuff with the Imria and the government and CASS would have happened.
“Hey,” Madison said. “What’s going on, Reese? You’re like in a different world or something. We have to get to class.”
David looked grim. I saw him too, he told Reese.
“Sorry,” Reese said to Madison. She pulled the slip of paper on which she had scribbled her new locker combination out of her pocket and turned to the lock, trying to ignore the feeling that Hernandez was watching her.
After school, Julian was waiting for Reese at her locker. “Did you hear what happened?” he asked excitedly.
“No, what?”
“Sophia Curtis issued a statement saying that her show was reined in by network censors.”
“Really?” Reese opened her locker and began to load her backpack. “That’s—wow, when did that happen?”
“Like five minutes ago.” He leaned toward her, arms crossed, and said in a low voice, “So you should totally come on Bin 42 now and tell your story. You need to, you know?”
She hesitated. “I’m not sure.”
“Why not?” As the student next to her moved out of the way, Julian slid in so that he was only a foot away. “You don’t have to talk about Amber, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said.
“I’m not worried about that. Besides, I’m with David now.”
His expression went blank. “Yeah. You are.”
“Look, that’s got nothing to do with this. There are other things in play.”
“Like what?” Julian asked in an intense whisper. “The public deserves to know the truth.”
She zipped up her backpack and looked around. Th
e hallway was scattered with students, some of them casting curious glances in their direction. She didn’t want to talk about this in earshot of her classmates, but more important, she could see Mr. Chapman’s classroom door at the end of the hall. Alex Hernandez had indeed taken over Principles of Democracy. He had acted as if he didn’t know Reese and David during class, but she was sure it was only a matter of time before he asked them for information. “I don’t think we should talk about this here,” she said to Julian.
“Fine. Come out back with me.”
“Right now?”
“What else are you doing, waiting for your boyfriend?” Julian made a face at her.
She rolled her eyes. David had soccer practice; she was not waiting for him. “Okay.” She pulled on her backpack and closed her locker. “But my dad’s picking me up soon. I can’t talk for long.”
“Your dad’s still around, huh?” Julian said as they walked down the hall toward the central courtyard.
“Yeah.”
“How long’s he going to be here?”
“I don’t know. They won’t say.”
He gave her a concerned glance. “Are you all right with that?”
“No, but it’s not like they’re asking me.” She noticed several girls watching her as she and Julian passed. “What are they looking at?” she whispered once they turned the corner.
“They’re checking out their competition.”
“Competition for what?”
“Madison’s right. You can be so clueless. You just took David off the market.”
“That sounds extremely crass. He’s not a piece of meat.”
“I never said I was polite,” Julian quipped, and pushed open the doors to the courtyard.
It was a cool afternoon, with gray clouds covering the sky. They headed across the brick courtyard toward the athletic fields and the rickety bleachers near the concrete wall that marked the edge of school property.
“You and David should come over and I can interview you for Bin 42,” Julian said. “We won’t have to deal with network censors or commercial breaks, and you can tell the whole story, with all the details. Speaking of which, when are you going to give me that recording you made of your meeting with that Lovick guy?”
“I’m holding on to it for now.” She hadn’t told Julian the details about the meeting because Lovick had warned them not to speak about it, and the Blue Base guard blocking the door had turned Lovick’s warning into a threat. “And you don’t understand. It’s not as simple as you think. There was a Defense Department guy there when Sophia Curtis interviewed us. He wouldn’t let us talk about Area 51 or Blue Base or anything like that. In fact, you remember that document about the birds I took from Blue Base? This guy found it—we had left it in the living room like a bunch of idiots—and he took it. So I don’t even have that anymore. If you start posting the quote unquote truth, they will come after you and Bin 42.”
“What are they going to do? You have freedom of speech—it’s your First Amendment right.”
“Yeah, and they have freedom of the government to do whatever they want to restrict it.” She shoved her hands into her pockets as they crossed the empty soccer field. The team hadn’t arrived for practice yet.
“That’s not true,” Julian objected. “They can’t shut you up, and if they try, you have every right to—”
“They did shut me up!”
Julian gave her a suspicious look. “What are you not telling me? What happened at that meeting? You’ve never rolled over like this before.”
She scowled at the grass and didn’t answer at first. She wanted to tell Julian everything. She didn’t want to be cowed by Charles Lovick and his secret organization, but if she and David were really going to lie to them, it was better if nobody else knew about it.
“Reese? Come on, you can tell me.” Julian ducked beneath the bleachers, where the ground was littered with cigarettes, and dropped his backpack on a relatively clean patch of dirt. “You can trust me,” he assured her. A few cinder blocks had been dragged beneath the bleachers to create stools, and he sat down and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to her.
Reese sat nearby and shrugged out of her backpack. “You should really quit,” she told him, but when he cocked his head at her she took the cigarette, leaning over to light it off Julian’s match. It tasted bitter and harsh, and she realized too late that her dad would smell it on her.
“So what’s the big secret?” Julian pushed.
She exhaled a plume of smoke, deciding to smoke it anyway. She didn’t care what her dad thought. “David and I need to find out what the deal is with our adaptation,” she said, avoiding Julian’s question. “So we’re going to take the Imria up on their offer to train us. Our first lesson is on Saturday.”
“That’s great. But that doesn’t stop you from telling your story.”
She stared at the glowing end of the cigarette, picking her words carefully. “No, it doesn’t. Our abilities are only part of the story, though. We need to figure everything out before we go public, and we need to get proof.”
“You have that recording from the Lovick meeting.”
“That’s one part of it. And the government is totally covering something up, but the Imria aren’t telling us everything either. They’re hiding stuff too.”
“They have to be hiding it for a good reason.”
She looked at Julian, her forehead furrowed. “Why do you trust them? They’re the ones who messed with me and David. They said they’ve been doing research on humans for decades. Aren’t you worried they might not have our best interests at heart?”
Julian shook his head. “You’re not seeing the big picture.” He inhaled, and the cigarette paper crinkled into black ash.
“What’s the big picture?”
He blew the smoke away from her. “This adaptation thing that the Imria are working on could change everything. I read the stuff they released at their press conference. It’s amazing. Think about what this world would be like if human beings could really do this shared consciousness thing.” He spoke with rising intensity, his body bending toward her as he gestured with his cigarette. “Do you know why people hate each other? Because they don’t understand each other. But if we could really know how other people feel—really know it—all that would change. It would bring humans to the next level of evolution.”
Julian’s fierce belief in the adaptation procedure made Reese uncomfortable. “Evolution’s not about levels. It’s not about advancing. You took bio with me; you should know that.”
“Don’t get all debatey on me. Besides, I don’t believe that. If the point of life isn’t to become more intelligent and better adapted to your environment, what is the point? Just to stay in one place, reproducing yourself? That’s stupid. This ability is humanity’s ticket to the future.”
“You talk about it like it’s some kind of superpower. But this isn’t X-Men.”
“No duh. It’s real.” He stubbed out his cigarette. “You should know. You have this ability. You can’t tell me it hasn’t changed the way you see everything.”
“Honestly, it mostly freaks me out. That’s why I’m agreeing to the lessons with the Imria, because until I know how this thing works in me, I don’t think I can really know whether it’s good or bad.” Her cigarette had burned down to the filter, and she dropped it on the ground, grinding it out with her sneaker. She felt a little nauseated from the nicotine.
“You might not know, but I do. It’s good. So I want to be adapted too.”
Her head snapped up. “What? You can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
She couldn’t tell if he was serious at first. “Because it’s crazy dangerous! Because you have to apply, and they’re only taking teens who are on the verge of death.”
“That’s what they said, but they haven’t posted an application yet. Besides, they’re going to need as many test subjects as possible. Why wouldn’t they take a healthy volunteer? Wouldn’
t that be better than someone who might die?”
She gaped at him. “You’re serious.”
Anger flashed across his face. “Of course I’m serious. I’ve been waiting for something like this my entire life. This is my chance to be part of something bigger than me. I’m willing to take whatever risks are involved.”
“The risk is dying. Don’t you get that?”
“You’re not dead.”
“I was dead!”
“You seem pretty much alive to me right now.” His expression softened. “Look, I know it’s dangerous, but I want to do this. I want to help humanity.”
“Julian—”
“It’s so important, Reese. It’s so freaking important. This adaptation procedure will change everything. Don’t you see that?” He was practically crouching on his heels in his effort to persuade her.
She stared at him in dismay.
“Will you help me?” he asked. “You know them. You can talk to Dr. Brand and persuade her to take me as a volunteer.”
She was stunned. “You want—how could you ask me to put you in that kind of danger?”
His face darkened. “You don’t get it.” Suddenly he stuck out his hand. “Here. You have the ability. Touch me. Then you’ll know why I want to do it.”
“Jules—”
“Do it.”
The desperation on his face frightened her. She didn’t want to touch him. She didn’t need to touch him to sense how frustrated and determined he was, or how blind he was to the potential consequences. Her phone rang, the sound pealing through the weighted space between them. She pulled it from her pocket and answered it. “Hey, Dad.”
Julian shook his head, withdrawing his hand to take out another cigarette.
“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute,” she said into the phone, and then hung up. Julian wouldn’t look at her. She didn’t like fighting with him. The last time they’d fought was when he was dating Sean, who had been behaving like a jerk and never doing what he said he’d do. Julian had defended him repeatedly, making excuses for him because he was in love. It had soured their friendship for weeks. “Do you want a ride home?” Reese asked, hoping that this wouldn’t turn into another of those situations.