I swallowed down the bite after I’d chewed it long enough, then picked up my glass of soda to wash it down, even though I didn’t really need to. Troy’s eyes tracked my movements, and I could see the struggle as he fought the urge to ask what I thought.
“Well, I can see why this is going to stress you out,” I finally said as I used my fork to break the casserole up into smaller pieces.
“What? Why?” the panic was in his voice, and I almost felt bad for it. “Is it that awful? I knew I shouldn’t have tried a new recipe.” Rather than give me a second to talk, Troy jumped to his feet and reached for my plate. “Here, let me have that. I can…dammit…I can order pizza or something else like you suggested.”
Now I felt bad for my teasing. He hadn’t even tried his own meal yet and was going off my opinion. “Would you sit down and let me finish?” I asked as I held my plate out of his reach.
Troy looked confused as he withdrew his hand and slowly sat back down on his seat. “What? It’s not bad?”
“It’s going to stress you out because it’s so delicious, people are going to request it all the time. You’re going to have to make it so much, you’re going to never want to eat it ever again,” I told him before shoveling another bite into my mouth.
Troy gasped, and I could see his entire body sag in relief. “You…you’re an asshole for freaking me out like that.”
I shrugged as I chewed. Finally, I swallowed the bite so I could talk. “Eh, that’s what you get for going to so much trouble. Eat your food while it’s hot. I promise you; it’s freaking delicious. I might need to take some home with me.”
“I don’t know if you deserve any after nearly giving me a heart attack.”
“But…I helped you carry up that,” I reminded him and pointed toward the tree with my fork.
Troy sighed. “You got me. And I made too much, anyway.”
I felt smug in my triumph as I picked up the buttery garlic bread and took a bite. We finished eating the rest of what was on our plates before I got up for another round. The longer I was there, the more relaxed I became until I’d forgotten I was surrounded by Christmas decorations and a creepy nutcracker that was no longer watching me—thank goodness. But it didn’t help lessen the attraction I had for Troy. In fact, it increased.
The conversation flowed between us easily, and he kept up with my sarcasm and threw his own zingers in there. And by the time I left that evening, with containers filled with casserole and salad, and a foil packet of garlic bread, I made him promise me he’d let me know if he needed my assistance for the duration of the weekend. After reassuring me he was fine for the next day, we made plans for me to pick him up on Monday and take him to the store after work so he could get his new battery. Finally, I made my way to my car, and after locking myself inside, it hit me. I had to face the obvious. It was something I wish I could’ve ignored, but my brain wouldn’t let me. And my heart began to race, my palms dampened, and the feeling of dread enveloped me. It was an awful revelation, and it hit me like a sucker punch to the stomach.
My attraction to Troy had turned into a full-blown crush, and damn it all to hell, I didn’t appreciate my heart—or dick—being such a traitor. I didn’t do crushes. I wasn’t a fucking teenager who got turned on by seeing ankles or slivers of skin when a shirt rode too high. I was a freaking adult who should be able to control these types of things. But there I was, lusting and crushing after my coworker, who was probably taken…or straight. Goddammit. Now what in the hell was I going to do?
Chapter 7
On the fifth day of Christmas, I gave to thee…something he probably wouldn’t want to see…
It started out innocent enough, me leaving the candy cane on his desk. And I waited with bated breath to see his reaction. Of course, it wasn’t receptive in the least, and as I walked by his desk later, my heart hurt a little to see he’d tossed it in the trash—completely unwanted.
But rather than be discouraged, I decided to try harder. In the time we’d worked together, it caught my attention how lonely Reed seemed to be. He barely talked to anyone at work, even during our lunch breaks, and he was never included with any of the get-togethers after work. I wasn’t sure if he was ever asked and always declined, or if he was never considered when plans were made.
And when the holidays rolled around, I could see the sadness in his eyes, and the vibrancy behind his brown irises dimmed with every passing day. He’d sneer at the decorations, and while everyone else did something to make their cubicles more festive, his always remained bare. Something inside me told me I needed to try, and I made it my personal mission to bring him joy for the holidays. Besides, it was fun leaving his little token every day and seeing what his reaction might be.
I felt some sort of progress was made when I saw the tree, flamingo, and candy dispenser on his desk. Sure, all of them were shoved to a corner behind his computer, but he’d kept them. So that had to count for something, right? Seeing them on his desk gave me that tiny bit of hope and validation I needed to keep going. Anyone else would’ve stopped as soon as they saw that candy cane in the trash or wouldn’t have even started such a task in the first place. But not me. And as I laid my next gift on his desk, the adrenaline rushed through me as I rushed to get out of the office unseen, since no one knew what I was up to.
I might not have really known much about Reed, but what I did know from my observation was that he needed this. He needed a reminder that Christmas was a magical time, and he wasn’t alone during it. That someone was thinking of him and wanted him to enjoy the holidays just like everyone else. Sure, he hadn’t come around just yet and strung up lights around his cubicle, but keeping the gifts on his desk was a little nudge in the right direction. And since Santa was busy in the North Pole getting ready for the busiest night of year, I didn’t mind being his secret helper.
I knew Reed would come around eventually and remember the magic of Christmas. I had enough hope for the both of us. Until then, I was going to try my hardest to make it happen.
Chapter 8
Jack Frost was nipping at my nose, …and he needed to stop.
“I keep telling myself I’m going to move someplace tropical since I loathed winter, but I’m not a fan of heat,” I grumbled as Troy climbed inside my car.
“And winter doesn’t last as long as summer, it seems.”
“It sure does feel like it does,” I sighed as I tried not to stare at the object my lust.
“Because it’s so miserable and a pain in the ass.”
Oh, how I wish Troy would be the cause of pain in my ass…dammit. Now was not the time to think about that. It was hard—erm, difficult—enough to drive to work on slick roads, and having a hard-on would not help matters any.
“Have you bought your White Elephant gift yet?” Troy asked a few minutes later.
While I was thankful for the distraction, I groaned at his question. I didn’t want to be reminded of the stupid office party we were forced to attend. “Nope. What about you?”
Troy chuckled. “I got it the day after we received the email.”
Of course, he did. Why was I not surprised?
The call center I worked only closed for three major holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day. While everyone else appreciated the time off to spend it with friends and family, I would’ve rather worked and earned extra money. Then again, on New Year’s Eve, I always drank as a toast to the holidays finally ending, and maybe I’d indulge a little too much. So, going to work with a hangover didn’t sound like the best idea.
The White Elephant party was something we’d never done before. The boss just had us all stay after work as we ate a catered dinner and drank punch mixed with sherbet. Rather than mix and mingle with our coworkers as our boss expected, all of us kept our eyes on our phone while we willed him to hurry up so we could get the hell home. We’d already spent all day there, so why would we want to stay any longer? Of course, we weren’t able to leave until he gave the same speech
he always gave thanking us for our hard work, how much he appreciated us, and promising us next year would be even better. Only then, after he was done and earned the applause he felt he deserved, he’d pass out envelopes with a cheesy Christmas card with our bonus inside, usually in the form of a restaurant gift card.
Needless to say, when I got the email about the white elephant gift, I was surprised …and annoyed. I didn’t have to shop for other people, and to be honest, I didn’t even know what a white elephant gift even was. I had to do an internet search, and my eyes rolled very hard when I saw it was supposed to be an impractical or amusing gift. I didn’t see the point of it at all, and thought it sounded like a waste of money, but if that’s what he wanted us to do…
“Why don’t we go shopping after we grab my battery?” Troy suggested.
While that sounded like a good idea, I didn’t think so. Not if it meant spending more time with Troy. Getting him the battery was supposed to help me breathe easier and get rid of the stupid crush I had on him. Yet, there he was, throwing out an offer I didn’t want to refuse since I knew he’d help me find the perfect gift for the stupid party.
“Uh, yeah,” I heard myself say, “that’d be great.”
Fuck. My. Life. Without. Lube. Could these fucking holidays be over yet?
But they weren’t. Because when I arrived at my desk…I had another present waiting for me. That time, it was two tiny penguins kissing under a mistletoe. Whoever was leaving me the gifts had a thing for animals. And after inspecting the little zoo creatures that had a better love-life than I did, they joined the flamingo on my desk.
“Just a few more days,” I told myself as I settled in my seat to begin my day. “You’ve got this.”
I did not have this. I hate crowds. I hated shopping. And I especially hated shopping in crowded stores. Yet, there I was, wandering around a crowded stored with the man who made my pants uncomfortable as we tried to find something utterly ridiculous to give some poor coworker. Sure, others found it amusing, but I thought it was kind of rude.
“Nothing says happy holidays like giving something cheap and useless,” I muttered as I stared at a soap that was shaped like a giant chicken and hanging on a rope. “Merry fucking Christmas. Have a giant cock.”
Troy laughed at my words as if what I said was amusing when I was being serious. “You’re missing the point of this.”
“Then please, elaborate. Because I really don’t get the gist of this.”
Troy turned to look at me. In his grasp was a small fruit cake statue. “Everyone puts so much pressure on themselves trying to buy the perfect, most expensive present for their friends and family. Sales began earlier and earlier each year, and the spirit of Christmas is getting lost. Buying something cheap, ridiculous, and amusing helps alleviate some of the pressure so you can relax and have a great time.”
I thought about his words. “I suppose you have a point. I don’t shop enough to think about all that.”
Troy eyed me quizzically. “When was the last time you bought a present for someone?”
I shrugged, not really wanting to answer his question. “I don’t know…a few years, maybe?”
I could instantly feel his pity, which was why I didn’t want to say anything. But he must’ve sensed my discomfort because he held up his hand so I could see the fruitcake. “How about this?”
“I don’t know. It’s…hideous. But I’m kind of digging the soapy cock.”
“You want to give someone a cock for Christmas?”
Was it just me, or was the temperature in the store starting to rise? Or maybe it was using the word “cock” so much in our conversation. While I was sure his was completely innocent, mine definitely was not. Damn, it was burning up in the damn store.
“Why not? It’s funny, hideous, and I imagine it’ll be regifted for many years to come.”
“But, the fruitcake is so cute.”
“Then buy it and add it with whatever you bought.”
“Oh, what I got is great. I probably shouldn’t tell you in case you get it, since the gifts are supposed to remain anonymous.”
I snorted. “Yeah, right. With our coworkers? They’ll announce it was from them as soon as someone else opens it.”
“You’re probably right. It’s a small leg lamp. Like from that movie.”
“I remember the movie. That sounds like the perfect gift. Throw in the fruitcake, and you’ll have a real winner.”
“Fine. You get the chicken, and I’ll grab the fruitcake, and we’ll be finished.”
“Deal. I can’t wait to get out of this store.”
“Not a fan of crowds?” he asked as we made our way to the checkout aisle.
I shook my head. “I’m not a fan of Christmas.”
“It’s not for everyone, which is a shame. Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of year.”
I didn’t respond to him, and after we paid for our purchases, I took him home. He reassured me his neighbor was going to help him install his battery, and soon I was in my apartment with my stupid present on the counter and my textbooks open so I could work on homework.
Most wonderful time of year? Yeah, right. It wasn’t for me. Maybe once upon a time it was, but that was long ago. Now, it was my most dreaded time of year, and I needed it to hurry up and be over with. With a deep sigh, I turned on my computer, and while I waited for it to load, I went into the kitchen. Rather than microwave a frozen meal, I reheated some pizza casserole. Whether he knew it or not, Troy had helped make this time of year just a tad more bearable, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to repay him. Now, if only I could get rid of that pesky crush…
Chapter 9
I’m dreaming of sandy beaches, just like the ones on all the coasts.
“What are you doing tonight after the party?” Troy asked as we made cups of coffee before beginning our workday.
I paused the stirring of my creamer to glance around the room. Surely, he wasn’t talking to me. Someone else must’ve walked in. He had a new car battery, so there was no need for him to spend any more time with me. It was a disappointing realization since I actually enjoyed the time I spent with him—even picking out a damn Christmas tree and shopping—but also something I was hoping would happen. Not being around him so much would help with my stupid crush. But when I glanced around the break room, it was only the two of us in there.
“Are you talking to me?”
Troy chuckled and shook his head. “Of course, I am. Who else would I be talking to?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Frank?”
“Frank? The same Frank who started the snowball fight last year and broke Victor’s nose? Definitely not him.”
I sighed as I recalled that morning. I was standing inside the break room, enjoying the silence before the rest of my coworkers made an appearance when the door burst open. Frank rushed in, his shirt covered in blood, acting frantic as he looked for a towel and some ice. He let out a flustered explanation as he searched the freezer and drawers, and rather than bite my tongue, I suggested he use the ice he threw at Victor to break his nose. Needless to say, that didn’t go over well, and he hadn’t liked me since—if he even did to begin with.
“That’d be the one.”
Troy wrinkled his nose. “He’s a bit too immature for my taste.”
And just what were his tastes?
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, instead.
“The Lux Theatre has a late showing of White Christmas. Want to go?”
Watching a Christmas movie didn’t sound like my idea of a good time. Same as shopping for Christmas trees and white elephant gifts. But Troy had a way of making anything holiday-related almost fun, and it wasn’t like I was doing anything else that evening. But before I decided to spend any more time with him, I needed to know one thing.
Let it go, Reed. My internal voice was sending out all the warning signals possible, telling me I needed to stop it. To stop poking the bear, otherwise, how would I g
et rid of my crush? But I was a stubborn asshole, and that bear looked so fucking enticing. Besides, what would a few pokes hurt?
“Don’t you have a girlfriend to go see that with?”
I winced at how pathetic I sounded to my own ears, though I had tried my hardest to keep my voice even and nonchalant.
Troy snorted beside me and brought the mug to his mouth. As he took a sip of his coffee, he eyed me over his mug and gave my body a long once-over. I stood there, watching him as he swallowed his drink down and slowly licked the residual coffee from his top lip.
“I haven’t had a boyfriend in years. The movie starts at eight, so I figured we could leave a little after six so we can get the good seats,” he told me with a wink before he turned to leave the break room.
I was so shocked by his admission that I was rooted to the spot, and it was only hearing the ruckus of my coworkers that I was able to snap out of it. After a few quick strides, I was at the door beside him and reached out to grasp the doorknob before he could. There was no way I was going to let him have the last word.
“Make it six, sharp. I want time to get popcorn. I’ll even let you drive.”
As I made my way to my desk, numerous realizations hit me all at once. First, I was hanging out with Troy, who apparently was gay after all—no way was that going to help me get over my stupid crush. And second, we were going to a fucking Christmas movie. A pod person must’ve inhabited my body because that was the only excuse I could come up with. Why else would I subject myself to spending more time with the object of my thoughts while torturing myself with a Christmas movie?
A stuffed reindeer with a shiny red nose was waiting for me when I arrived at my desk. I sighed as I picked up the animal and studied it. It was definitely soft, and to someone who enjoyed that type of thing, they would’ve found it cute. I personally was a bit unnerved over how it looked like it was smiling at me. With a sigh, I put him down next to my ever-growing stash of Christmas crap and got to work. While I was anxious to spend the evening with Troy, I had to get through numerous customers and the stupid office party, first. It was going to be a long day, and I had a feeling I was going to have to ingest copious amounts of coffee to get through it.
Bite Me, Santa Page 4