When I finally made it out to where her group was hanging out, I climbed up on my board, and floated nearby. There were four other guys out there, all different in their right, but I was most concerned with the one Jess had been talking to.
“What’s up?” I narrowed my eyes on him.
“Just catchin’ some waves before the Barneys get out here.” He chuckled. “Griff.” He held out his hand as his eyes sized me up.
“Ryan.” I shook it before turning my board so I could get the inside position. If a wave came along that I wanted, I want to be in the better position to get it. I didn’t share anything, including waves. “Anything good today?”
“Nah.” Griff shrugged as he watched where Jess was paddling back out to them. “Came to support my girl.” He nodded at her.
His girl? So they were together. “Your girl?” I played dumb. “Isn’t she like famous or something?”
He shrugged again, “Not that I know of.”
So what was this? Did he think I was stupid, or was he protecting her? Either way I was somewhat happy that she’d found someone to look out for her.
“I wanna see this trick,” Griff shouted over my shoulder. “You’re warmed up now. Let’s go.”
“Lay off,” Jess shouted back, and when I looked over at her she was scowling. I chuckled under my breath as I watched the exchange. I may not like this dude very much, but he reminded me of myself. I always gave Jess a hard time, and she was always pushing me right back. “I gotta wait for the right set.”
“Uh huh.” Griff rolled his eyes. “We might be here all day with as picky as you are.” He sighed before turning to me, “She’s always finding an excuse when there are a bunch of us out here.”
“Don’t back down because I’m here.” I pointed at myself and watched Jess blanch. I didn’t want her to not do what she normally would because I was around; that wasn’t the plan at all.
“I’m not.” She flopped forward and went to paddle into place. I’d seen this look before. I’d gotten to her, and now she was out to prove something; good.
“Here we go.” Griff grinned from beside me as Jess’ board cut through the water.
A beautiful set started to form farther out, and I watched as the group of guys let them pass, and Jess took her pick. She’d always favored the second in a set. It was like her signature, but this one didn’t look like it was going to break good. I saw Griff shake his head, but Jess is stubborn and she brushed him off. Her green bikini bottoms were a sharp contrast to the water, and made it easy to see her. I watched as she charged the wave, popping up to drop into position. She swayed slightly as the wave curled around her. When she went to slice up to the top, she lost her footing and fell backwards, right inside the barrel. My eyes went wide as a few of the guys groaned at watching her wipeout.
I’ve seen it before, and I knew she’d pop back up soon and punch at the water. Jess never gave up, and that’s part of what made her great. Sure enough after a few long seconds, her board surfaced and then her head popped up beside it.
“Damn it!” she screamed as she climbed on top and began to paddle back out. This was the Jess I knew, fearless.
When she reached the group again, she sighed and wiped at her eyes. “Stupid wave didn’t open right.”
“You should have waited on the next one. I could’ve told you that one wasn’t the one to take,” Griff teased her and she frowned at him.
“I like the second one, you know that.” She popped up on her board and crossed her arms.
“You’re stubborn.” He laughed. “I guess you need to be to be any good.”
I didn’t know what they were really arguing about, but another beautiful set was rolling in, and I didn’t want to pass any of these up to watch their argument. I paddled away from them, and got into position. The first wave coming in looked perfect and as it began to crest, I charged it. I could hear some shouts from behind me, but I didn’t care. When I took the drop, I was in perfect position. I’d been perfecting my form for years now, mastering skills that Jess didn’t know I had.
The barrel curled around me, and I dragged my hand through the water as I used my feet to turn the board up the wave. I popped out of the top, shifted, and flipped in the air before landing back on top. Shouts filled the air again as I rode it the rest of the way in. When it practically dissolved under me, I hopped off and punched the air. I’ve been working on this trick for a couple of months, and that ride was the closest it’s been to perfect.
I grabbed my board, and made my way back out to the group just as a few of the other guys rode the next set in. Griff and Jess were the only ones still bobbing out past the breakers. I’m thinking he was comforting her after my stellar performance, but who knows.
“Holy shit man.” Griff laughed as I popped up on the surface and approached them. “Where’d you learn that?”
“Been tryin’ some new things lately.” I shrugged. The truth was I’d been trying to master this for a while. After Jess left, I hit the waves hard hoping to get a deal too, but no one’s approached me at any of the amateur competitions I’ve entered. I figured if I landed some big tricks someone would see and not be able to pass me up. It hadn’t worked yet though.
Jess’ eyes swung between Griff and I before she blew out a frustrated breath. “This is not fair,” she grumbled as she watched the next set. She began paddling but popped too soon and took a dive head first into the wave. The white foam buried her, and I held my breath as her board popped but she didn’t.
It took longer than it should have, but she surfaced coughing and punched the water before paddling into position again. She didn’t wait long before a perfect ride came in. She turned, charged, and set the line as it opened perfectly. She dropped right at the perfect moment, but her feet weren’t in a good position. I could see it, and when she wobbled I knew she could feel it too.
She jerked the board, guiding it to the top of the wave, but when she went in for the lift, she lost her balance and flipped backwards. I hissed as I watched the awkward plunge into the water. “She’s trying to do what you just did.” Griff sighed before looking at me. “She’s been trying to land an aerial for months now. Her agent is really putting the pressure on.”
I still couldn’t figure out the dynamic here, so I decided to take a shot in the dark and hoped that I hit something. “Why don’t you help her?”
“I can’t be out here as much as she needs me to be, and she’s stubborn as hell.” He shrugged.
“Don’t you sacrifice when you’re with somebody?” I glared at him. If I was dating Jess, I’d be out here every day for as long as she needed me just to support her. If I thought she’d let me help her, I’d teach her what I’ve learned.
“Yeah, you do.” Griff glared right back at me. “I sacrifice every day for my wife, that’s why I gave up this life. I used to be her, now this a hobby.” He swept his arm out before paddling toward the beach. I watched as he waved at Jess.
“Sorry man, I didn’t know.” I blew out a breath as I watched Jess turn and paddle back toward me once again. She had a weary but determined look in her eyes. “I just thought…” I trailed off.
“Me and her.” Griff’s finger swung between himself and Jess. “Uh, no.” He chuckled. “I’m the first person she met out here. She’s more like a sister to me.” His head tipped back and laughter rolled out of him. “See if you can talk to her, and get her to actually listen. I gotta go. Work and all.” He sighed before grabbing a ride into the beach.
I watched Jess stare at his back, and then shake her head when he rushed to grab his towel and left. She looked back in my direction before paddling out far enough to catch another wave, and just like last time, she wiped out.
“I could help, you know,” I yelled as I paddled over to her. She was bobbing on her board looking beautifully pissed off. “If you want some pointers.” I chuckled.
“I don’t want anything from you, Ryan,” she growled as she stared at the shore from our position.<
br />
“Suit yourself.” I shrugged as I moved to catch a ride in. Maybe if she saw me do it again she’d see that it wasn’t luck or something else the first time. I got into position, and when the wave unfurled perfectly and I landed the aerial, I fist pumped the air. Instead of going back out to where she was still bobbing in the water, I walked to the beach.
I flopped down in the sand, and grabbed the bottle of water I’d brought out with me. I wasn’t really ready to go in, but this back and forth wasn’t getting me anywhere. I needed Jess to want to be around me, and so far, all I was doing was pissing her off.
She stayed out for another twenty minutes catching ride after ride, but never landing the aerial. I watched her attempt it at least a dozen more times. It was her footing. Her back foot wasn’t in a good position so when she went to grab the bottom with her hand, she lost her center of balance. Until she figured that out, she was never gonna land it. I knew that she wasn’t ready to hear that from me though.
When she finally decided to come up on the beach, she looked exhausted and defeated. She tossed her board onto the sand, and flopped down beside it. I watched as she wrestled her rash guard off, and grabbed her towel.
“I could help you, ya know,” I mumbled as I stared out at the water. It was mid afternoon at this point and the sun was sparkling on the water.
“I don’t need your help,” she snapped back.
“I think you do. You’ve been at this all day. Griff said you been working on this for a while. How long you gonna let that thick skull of yours get in the way?” I muttered.
“Excuse me?” Her head swung towards me as her eyes shot daggers.
“You heard me.” I shrugged. “You’re so damn stubborn that you won’t let someone who can do what you’re trying to do, give you pointers.”
She sat there for a few minutes stewing in her own anger before she stood up and moved directly in front of me. Her body was blocking the sun, but it didn’t bother me. “Why are you here?” Her hands slammed down on her hips.
“I thought that was obvious.” I rolled my eyes behind the sunglasses I’d slipped on. “I came out here to surf. I heard the West Coast waves were better.”
“You’re such an ass. You know what I mean,” she growled.
I stood up to match her stance, towering over her. “I told you last night why I’m here. Did you think I was lying?” I waited for her to saying something, anything, but she didn’t. She just stood there staring at me. “I came out here to try and start over. I thought if we could just go back and do what we love, that the rest would work itself out. Guess I was wrong.” I shook my head. “See ya around.” I stepped back, picked up my things, and began walking toward my hotel.
I didn’t get very far before she stopped me. “Wait!” She ran up behind me. “I’m sorry. I’m just really frustrated with myself. I’ve never had this much trouble landing anything. Something’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing’s wrong.” I sighed as I turned to face her once again. “Your head’s not in the right place, and you’re letting it get to you.” I glanced back out at the water. “When do you usually surf here? Mornings?”
“All day.” She sighed. “I have a week to master this, then I have to compete with it.”
I nodded. I couldn’t believe that she was expected to compete a trick she’d just learned, but I guess the rules were different in the pros. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
She chewed on her lip as she thought it over before blinking up at me, “I guess I just don’t trust you. I’m here to work. This isn’t for fun for me. It’s my job, and I don’t think you understand that.”
“Oh I understand alright. I understand that you’re so stubborn that you’d rather wipeout repeatedly than let someone you used to like help you,” I grumbled. “I’m heading in for today. I’ll be back out here tomorrow morning if the waves are good.” I tipped my head in the direction on the ocean.
“They will be. They’re good most mornings here. Her head tipped down as her voice lowered.
“See ya around.” I waved as I turned away from her and began my trek back. I’d laid it out there. If she wanted help, I’d help her. I’d do anything for her, she just didn’t know it yet. I’d prove to Jess that she could count on me once again. I’d spend every morning out on this piece of beach with her if it meant she’d talk to me.
If I can go back and build this from the bottom, then I will. I will start over and show her that I’m the same guy she once loved. He’s still in there, he’s just afraid of getting hurt again. We can find that green room as long as we can survive the wipeouts.
Chapter 14
Jessica
I don’t know why I cared, but I did. I spent the better part of the morning digging through my dresser in search of my blue and white bikini. It was always Ryan’s favorite, and I kinda wanted to drive him crazy today. I haven’t really grown much since I was fifteen, only gained a few more curves. I still have all my suits, and my mood determines which one I wear. This one, hasn’t gotten worn since we broke up. I’ve kept it though because it holds so many memories. I even have a board that matches it. Ryan bought it for me. The last few months we were together it was all I surfed on. My purple board took its place after we broke up, and it’s gone to all my competitions with me.
The sky was cloudy today; not usual for California summers, but not unheard of either. When I got down to the beach, he was right where he said he’d be. He was in a wetsuit today, but had the same board with him. He sliced it through the water before hopping off, picking it up, and jogging toward me.
“Hey.” He waved as he used his free hand to push his wet hair off his forehead.
“Hi.” I sighed as I shifted on my feet. I don’t know why I was nervous to be around him. He still brought the butterflies out in my stomach, but that usually angered me. Today I was having a hard time holding onto the anger though.
“You’re gonna be cold.” He eyed me up and down. “Water’s chilly.”
“It’s always chilly. I’m used to it.” I shrugged as I dropped my board and began pulling my hair up. I’d put on shorts over my suit this morning, so Ryan couldn’t see what I was wearing yet. Again, I don’t know why I cared. “Ready?” I snapped.
He chuckled as he wiped at his dripping hair again, “You get up on the wrong side of the bed or something?”
“Or something,” I grumbled. The truth was, having him here in my space did things to me. Things that I wasn’t sure I liked yet. Having him here put my emotions in this weird place. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to not react when I saw his muscles flex or when he gave me that lopsided grin, or even when he called me out on my shit. I wanted to feel the anger because the hurt was just too much. Right now, though, I felt like I did ten years ago when I started seeing him as more than a friend. I feel like I did when I wanted him to see that I wasn’t this tomboy, I was a girl, a girl that had feelings. Only this time, this time those feelings were all jumbled up and I have no idea how to fix them.
ooooooooo
Ryan
I saw her coming over the dunes from all the way out in the water. She had a different board with her this time. It was MY board. When we were dating, I’d given her a board that had been mine when I was younger. It was too small for me now, but it fit perfectly and it matched the bikini she was always wearing. I silently wondered if she was wearing it under her clothes.
She stomped down the sand with a scowl on her face, and I knew right then that today was going to be rough. She was already in a mood, and I had no idea if this was even gonna work.
“Hey.” I pushed my dripping hair back as she continued to shoot daggers in my direction.
“Hi,” she snapped at me.
“You get up on the wrong side of the bed or something?” I couldn’t help but laugh. She looked so pissed, but all I wanted to do was kiss her. Her lips were pouting and her eyes kept pinging from the water to me.
“Or something,” she grumbled.
&
nbsp; “Water’s cold.” I glanced back at where the sky seemed to be darkening. “I haven’t surfed in the rain in years.”
“If it’s not storming I’m usually out here.” She shrugged. “You ready?”
“Sure.” I smiled as I backed up a little. I glanced at where she’d tossed her board on the sand. “I can’t believe you still have it.” I lifted my chin toward the white and blue board.
“Why wouldn’t I?” She looked confused. “I’ve landed a lot of tricks on that board. It’s reliable.”
“I just thought…” I trailed off. I’d assumed that when we ended, she would have trashed it. Maybe stomped on it first.
“Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean I still can’t use it. I won my first pro comp on that board.” She shrugged as she stepped out of the shorts she was wearing and kicked them to the side.
Before I could say anything, she tucked the board under her arm and jogged toward the shallow surf. That’s when I noticed them. Peeking out below her navy rash guard were the blue and white bottoms that I spent many nights fantasizing about. They had these little ties at the hips, and I’d always wondered if I tugged at them how long it would take for them to fall off. Jess and I never got that far though. She let me touch her way back then, but that’s about it. I cursed as I picked up my board and rushed after her.
When I hit the waves, I duck dove and began furiously paddling to get into position. When I passed her on the inside, I growled. “You’re lucky I’m a nice guy,” I tossed over my shoulder.
“What?” She pressed her lips together trying not to let me see that she knew exactly what I meant by that.
“You and me are going to have words when this day is done,” I called back as I put more and more distance between us.
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