by Joanna Shupe
His expression grew more confused. “This isn’t over. Your days of playing lawn tennis will continue. There are tournaments down South and in Cuba. We’ll play over the winter and prepare you to come back next year.”
She lifted a shoulder, unable to garner any enthusiasm for future matches at the moment. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“I know I’m right.” He thrust his hands in his pockets. “You are too talented, too smart to let a few setbacks stop you from what you really want. But I understand disappointment. I’ve had my share.” He huffed a laugh. “Believe me, I’ve had my share. So take the next week off. Don’t pick up a racket. Then we’ll start making plans. All right?”
Nodding, Maddie said, “All right.”
“Good. Your friend is outside and has asked to come in. Miss Young, I believe.”
Nellie was here? Maddie hadn’t seen her friend in the crowd during the match, but then she’d been a bit preoccupied while losing. “Send her in, if you please.”
“I will.” Vallie came over and embraced her. “Congratulations, Maddie. I know this doesn’t seem like a victory, but I promise you that reaching the third round in your first Nationals is a big achievement.”
With her failed marriage so fresh, nothing seemed like a victory. More tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. “Thank you, Vallie.”
After a final pat to her back, her coach released her and departed. Not even a minute later, Nellie swept into the room, her bright smile firmly in place as she rushed to hug Maddie. “Madeline Archer, you were brilliant! I’ve never been so impressed.”
Maddie swallowed and nodded, certain the lump in her throat was all that prevented a torrent of emotion from flooding out.
Taking Maddie’s shoulders in hand, Nellie leaned away to study her face. “This isn’t like you to cry. What’s going on?”
Maddie dragged in a deep breath and struggled for composure as she stepped back. There would be time to fall apart later, when she was alone. “Just the stress of the past few days catching up with me.”
“Uh-huh,” Nellie said absently, her brow furrowed. “I noticed that your husband wasn’t here today.”
Maddie began collecting her equipment from the box she’d been assigned for the tournament. She tried to give Nellie the same lie she’d told the others but the words wouldn’t come.
“Maddie, what’s happened? Preston wouldn’t tell me, but it’s clear something is going on.” Nellie’s comforting hand landed on Maddie’s back. “Did you two have a fight?”
“We’ve decided to separate.” There, she said it.
Nellie gasped and forced Maddie to turn around. “What do you mean, separate? Like, divorce?”
Maddie glanced about, ensuring they were alone. Divorce was more scandalous than being compromised and forced into a marriage. The last thing Maddie needed was to be branded as both a jezebel and a divorcée. “No, we’ll file for an annulment.”
“I cannot believe this. What happened? And Harrison agreed?”
Maddie gave her friend a very quick version of the story, from the hat pin to the moment she walked out. “It’s for the best. We’d only make each other miserable.”
Nellie pursed her lips. “Awfully quick to arrive at such a conclusion, wouldn’t you say?”
“I cannot stay in a marriage where decisions concerning my life are made without my input.”
“You’ve been married a minute, Maddie. Goodness, give the sails a bit of time to find some wind before jumping back out into the water.”
If only it were that simple. “You don’t understand what it’s like to feel so helpless, as if your life is spinning out of control.”
“Oh, don’t I?” Nellie said, an edge to her voice. “Watching my mother wither away and die in front of my eyes doesn’t count?”
Maddie instantly deflated. “God, Nellie. Forgive me. I am being selfish.”
Nellie waved her hand. “Forgiven. And I realize a marriage is different than losing a parent. You love Harrison and you hate surprises.”
Maddie’s lip quivered so she sank her teeth into it. “Love isn’t enough. There has to be respect and trust, too.”
“You know him better than I do, obviously, but I have a hard time believing Harrison doesn’t respect or trust you. After all, he had the best of intentions in hiring the guards and not telling you.”
“Best intentions or not, that is not permission to hide something from me.”
“If you want perfection, then you’ll never find it because no one is perfect—not even you,” Nellie said with a shake of her head. “You’ll be doomed to spend your life alone because no one will ever measure up to your expectations. Is that really what you want?”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Would you rather I lied to you?”
“No, but if you are attempting to comfort me, this effort is falling short.”
Nellie winced and gave a light, self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m not known for wrapping things up in a pretty bow, which is probably why you’re one of my only friends. So I’ll stop trying to make you see reason.”
“Thank you,” Maddie said, her words laced with sarcasm.
“What happened to the masher, by the way?”
“He was arrested and I had to give a statement. Turns out he wasn’t hired by the Archers, which was a relief.”
“Meaning he’s just another entitled man who thinks women are objects and not human beings.”
The way Nellie said it, with such vehemence and resentment, gave Maddie pause. “You sound as if you have some experience in that regard.”
“Don’t we all?” Nellie muttered. “Now I should let you get changed. We can chat more on the way back to New York.”
“I was planning on taking the train with my parents.”
“Not anymore. I’m sending them back without you. We’ll stop in the hotel bar for a drink first.”
“We can’t do that!” Most hotel bars were men only, certainly the ones open during the day.
“Of course we can. Stick with me, Maddie. I know all the best places to cause trouble.”
A door slammed just before a shout rang out. “What have you done?” The words echoed in the empty Xavier house, the voice sounding a lot like Kit.
Bracing himself, Harrison called out, “Up here!”
Heavy footsteps marched closer, the only sound in the quiet space. In his bedchamber, Harrison excused his valet, the single staff member he’d allowed within these walls, and continued sorting his clothing on the bed.
“I’ve just had a visit from Preston,” Kit said, now in the doorway. “You and Maddie are separating?”
“Yes.”
“Separating?”
Harrison didn’t answer because he’d already made himself clear. Why was Kit being so obstinate?
Kit leaned against a bed pole. “Are you going to elaborate or make me pull it out of you?”
Harrison exhaled slowly. “She would like out of the marriage. I have agreed. My lawyer finished the annulment papers yesterday, I signed them, and they’ve been delivered to her home. I assume she’ll deal with them when she returns from Philadelphia.”
Scrawling his name on that piece of paper had been the single hardest thing he’d done in his life. If his lawyer hadn’t been staring at him, Harrison likely would have bawled like a baby as the ink dried.
“She’s back,” Kit said.
“Oh?” He tried not to sound interested, but he was dying to know what happened at the tournament. He’d purposely avoided reading the sporting section of the newspapers.
“Lost in the third round. I understand she gave a good fight, though.”
She must’ve been devastated. His heart, already battered and bloody, gave a small squeeze, wishing he could see her and comfort her. Tell her he loved her and that he was proud of her.
She doesn’t love you, remember? She wants freedom from you.
Realization dawned, nausea blooming in his stomach. Their marriage was over. If she
had returned, then she’d likely signed the annulment papers already. They’d soon be filed with the city, and it would be like their marriage never happened.
Except in his dreams.
Every time he tried to sleep she was there, smiling and laughing with him, teasing him. He ached for her, his body in constant pain, his mind wailing with the unfairness of it. He wanted her so badly, but he’d ruined it, pushing and maneuvering until he’d driven her away.
His silence must’ve annoyed Kit because his friend huffed. “Will you tell me why you are just letting her go? And why are you packing?”
Open trunks were half-full on the bedroom floor. Harrison placed a stack of collar boxes into one of them. “I’m leaving for Paris.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.” He hadn’t been able to book passage sooner, otherwise he’d be halfway across the Atlantic by now.
“Have you considered that your wife might merely require time to cool down? That perhaps you are hastily running away—again?”
“I haven’t, actually. Rather, I think I should’ve ruined the Archers from Paris and never returned to New York. Coming here was a mistake, and I am rectifying that.”
“What do you plan to do, go back to your old life and pretend this never happened?”
“That is precisely what I intend to do. I’ve already cabled Esmée and told her to expect me in a week.”
“Jesus Christ, Harrison.” Kit dropped onto the bed and put his head in his hands. “You cannot be serious.”
He shrugged and opened the crate of Kentucky bourbon he’d bought. Wrapping one of the bottles carefully, he placed it in a trunk, then reached for another bottle. “The marriage never happened. It’ll be wiped off the books, nothing but a faint memory for both of us. She’s free to become a duchess or a countess or whatever dashed title she desires.”
In fact, he’d decided to help that cause along by paying a call this afternoon. Perhaps he could right one wrong before he left this country for good.
“Are you taking that entire case on the boat?” Kit gestured toward the bottles.
“Yes.” His plan was to get stinking drunk as America faded in the distance, and then stay stinking drunk the entire journey. At least until he could forget her for any serious length of time.
“What about Archer Industries? What about this house? You are leaving all of it behind?”
None of it mattered without Maddie. “I’ve turned everything over to my—to Stephen Webster. He’s more than capable of handling it in my absence.”
“I see.” Kit walked around the room and peered inside the trunks. “Were you going to say goodbye, at least?”
“I figured you’d try to talk me out of it. For the record, Preston has already tried and failed.”
“He told me. Said you were more stubborn than a union boss at the negotiation table. What am I supposed to tell her?”
Harrison didn’t honestly think Maddie would bother asking after him. She could return to the way things were, back to her plans and parties. Enjoy her perfect world without him mucking it up like he did everything else. “I’ve already told her what she needed to know.” That he was sorry, that he loved her.
That she was all that had ever mattered to him.
“For what it’s worth, I think you are making a mistake.”
“Well, I’ve never done anything right, so why would I start now?”
Kit made a scoffing sound in his throat. “Do not let that Archer childhood nonsense into your brain. It’s entirely unhelpful.”
“Just like you are able to block the Ward childhood nonsense?” Kit’s family was no better than the Archers. In some ways, they were worse. There was a reason the two of them became inseparable in college; each man had demons from his youth that refused to let up.
“Touché,” Kit said. “I suppose all that’s left to say is that I’ll miss you. I was looking forward to having you around again.”
“You’re welcome to visit. It’ll be just like it was before. Debauchery at every turn, with more available women than you could ever screw.”
“Harrison.” Kit paused as if choosing his words carefully. “Nothing will go back to the way it was before. This is not a small thing, losing Maddie. I hope you realize as much.”
“You forget that I lost her once before. This will be no different.”
“But you weren’t married. You hadn’t slept with her or—”
“Stop trying to be helpful,” Harrison snarled, dragging his hands through his hair. “Fuck, Kit. Just . . . Christ almighty, stop talking.”
His friend’s expression went blank, devoid of any emotion. “I’ll leave you to your packing, then. I’ve said enough.”
Guilt swept across Harrison’s skin like needles. “I know you are trying to help, but please stop.”
They stared at each other for a long moment. “Good travels, then. Enjoy Paris and Esmée. Drop a line once in a while, will you? Let us know you’re still alive.” Kit walked out, the sound of his retreating footsteps ringing out in the emptiness.
The guilt didn’t ease up, but Harrison pushed it all from his mind. Today, he had to finish packing and pay one visit. Then he could leave for Paris in the morning and forget every minute of his time in New York.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The knock startled Maddie. She’d been standing at her bedchamber windows and staring off into the gardens. Dusk had fallen, shadows lengthening with the approach of nighttime, the time of day she dreaded the most.
It was when thoughts of Harrison took hold in her mind and wouldn’t let go. Every conversation, every moment reenacted and replayed on an extended loop until she thought she’d crumble. It hurt to think she’d never have that again, that he was out of her life forever.
If you want perfection, then you’ll never find it because no one is perfect—not even you.
Nellie was wrong. This wasn’t about expecting perfection. This was about her life and having a partner by her side, not a husband who lied and took away her choices.
She didn’t regret her decision in asking for the annulment. Separating was the best course of action for them both. What other choice did they have when their paths were so completely different? They could never be happy together, not as a couple.
Her gaze swung to the annulment papers sitting on her dressing table. They’d arrived while she was in Philadelphia, with his signature already in place. All that was left was for her to sign and return the document to the lawyers. Then their marriage would be over.
So why couldn’t she bring herself to do it?
The knock came again. “Maddie.” It was her mother.
“Come in.”
Mama’s worried face appeared in the doorway. “You have a visitor, my dear. Shall I send him away?”
Maddie’s breath caught. Had Harrison come to talk? She wasn’t certain whether she wanted to see him.
Something must’ve shown on her face because her mother quickly added, “It’s the Duke of Lockwood.”
Lockwood was here to see her? Goodness, whatever for?
Though she was hardly dressed for visitors, she supposed she owed Lockwood an audience after all the aggravation she’d caused him. “I’ll come down.”
“Perhaps brush your hair first,” her mother suggested gently.
Maddie resisted the urge to roll her eyes and settled for a rueful half smile instead. “Mama, I humiliated the man. Publicly. Trust me, he won’t care that my hair is a mess.”
“Still, he is a duke, Madeline.”
She kissed her mother’s cheek on the way out the door. “Don’t worry. It’s safe to say that my chance at becoming his duchess has passed.”
The receiving room door was ajar, so Maddie slipped inside. Dressed in a fine navy-blue suit, Lockwood peered at the knickknacks on the mantel. She closed the door behind her. Lord knew there was no need to protect her reputation any longer. “Your Grace, this is a surprise.”
“Mrs. Archer.” He bowed.
>
She curtsied, a pang going through her as she realized the name wouldn’t apply much longer. Soon, she’d return to Miss Webster. “Shall we sit?”
Nodding, he waited for her to settle on the sofa before relaxing in an armchair. “Forgive the late intrusion. I know you’ve only just returned from Philadelphia. How did you fare in your tournament?”
“I lost in the third round.” It still rankled. The woman hadn’t been a better player. If Maddie had played smarter, paid better attention during the match, she would have won.
“That is remarkable for your first time at such a prestigious event, is it not?”
“Undoubtedly, I’ll come to see it that way in a few days. Right now, the loss merely smarts.”
Lockwood studied her. “I understand that isn’t all you lost.”
Her tongue thickened as she wondered what to say. Had Lockwood heard about the annulment? That seemed impossible. “Forgive me, but I don’t follow.”
The duke crossed his long legs and leaned back. He appeared annoyingly comfortable in his own skin. “I had an interesting visit earlier this evening. From your husband.”
Harrison had gone to see Lockwood?
Maddie fought to remain still. “Oh?”
“He’s informed me that the two of you are separating.”
Embarrassment skated along her nape, down her sternum. No use denying it, she supposed, seeing as how Harrison had oh-so-helpfully spread the word. “We are filing for an annulment, which I assume will be granted expeditiously.”
“I have to say, I am surprised.” Lockwood’s gaze narrowed on her. “I thought the two of you were a perfect match when I saw you together at the house party.”
“Friendship does not always translate into a marriage,” she said vaguely. The details of why it hadn’t worked were no one else’s concern.
“True, but there was a spark as well, wasn’t there?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. This was quite an odd conversation to have with one’s former fiancé. “Yes, I suppose there was,” she finally said.
“Which is why I found the reason for your husband’s visit tonight both annoying and perplexing.”