Raven Thrall

by J Elizabeth Vincent

  In the days and nights immediately after she had fled Eaglespire so long ago, she had dreamed over and over again that she was still at home, sitting by her father’s bedside, as yet unbetrayed and undiscovered, doing just what she was now doing for Gwyn but instead for Magnus. Her heart ached for him and for her mentor. Had he survived? Would Gwyn?

  Sometimes she read aloud from Gwyn’s favorite books about the Ceo San, especially the one about the cat god. The cat was brave and strong and unusually clever. It could escape any foe and live to tell the tale.

  Mariah knew that she read the books to comfort herself as much as Gwyn, but she continued on, even reading stories of the hawk goddess to her sleeping charge. The hawk often served the royal families of Whitelea. She was dignified and loyal, and she always stood on the side of right. She had often stood as judge and jury in times of war and strife.

  Mariah had just finished reading one such passage when she picked up a conversation between Bria and Xae near the back door of the cottage. They were speaking in low whispers, no doubt trying not to disturb her or Gwyn.

  “You don’t understand.” There was a note of pleading in the boy’s voice. “I can’t stay any longer. I must return now. I’ve seen others like them. After a while, their brains get all turned around. They forget their loyalties and live only for the Trapper that keeps them. If I wait much longer, my sisters will have forgotten my face, and they would stick me through with a knife rather than betray the king.”

  Mariah’s breath caught. Thinking about Xae’s family being rounded up by the king’s men brought her back to the day in Eaglespire, running down the road, trying to outrun trained soldiers. Ashanya had sent her straight into their clutches.

  Her attention was brought back to the present by the urgency in Bria’s voice.

  “Xae, please, it’s too dangerous. They’ll know you. They’ll take you, too, or they’ll kill you. Please!”

  “I have to take that chance. My father … now that he’s gone, the girls are my responsibility. If my mother is alive, they’ve probably thrown her in a deep dungeon somewhere. She’s not Ceo San. She cannot fight them.”

  “At least ask Mari for help, once Gwyn’s better. You can’t do this alone.”

  “I told you, I can’t wait any longer. Besides, the cat talked to her before … before she was injured. And Mari”—she swallowed when he sneered her name—”has made it very clear to me that she has no intention of returning to Varidian.”

  Her tirade at Firebend. No wonder he had looked so hurt. Guilt stabbed through her. She had spoken without thinking.

  “Will you at least wait until morning?” The desperation in Bria’s voice was unmistakable. “I can put some food and supplies together for you after I leave here.”

  There was a long pause. “Yes, but that’s it. I’m leaving at dawn.”

  Xaecor had left his sisters behind—like Mariah had left her own father—in order to survive. And she, in all her wisdom, had told him that it was suicide to try and save them, but he was going to go anyway. He was going to try. If she could do it all again, if she could go back and try to save her father, even if the chances were still so small … she knew she would. And in that, she understood the boy standing in the other room.

  Bria and Xae were now quiet. Mariah heard the door close and, a moment later, shuffling sounds from the other room. Xae had left, and now Bria was probably cleaning or preparing more food as she had been doing so often in the last couple of days. Larissa cooed at her mother and was soothed in soft, wordless tones by her mother.

  Mariah rose and put the book she had been reading on a small table near the wall. Her back was stiff and sore from sitting for so long. She paced, stopping to stretch only now and then. She started to spread her wings before she remembered they were no longer there. She was still getting accustomed to her new body. The overwhelming urge to fly filled her. She desperately needed to clear her mind. Then, there was a small part of her that feared she wouldn’t be able to do it again, that her hawk was gone forever. She had received her unspoken wish of becoming fully human, and she found that it wasn’t what was really important. The hawk was a part of her.

  She looked at Gwyn, who was still sleeping, her gray hair neatly braided by Bria and hanging over her shoulder. Poultices still covered her back, but the last time Kalen had changed them, the wounds had looked better. There was no more oozing. Gwyn’s breathing was also deeper and more regular. Mariah was beginning to hope.

  “You should go. Take a break.”

  Mariah turned to see Bria standing in the doorway, the baby once again bundled in the cloth sling against her chest. She looked back to Gwyneth before meeting her friend’s gaze.

  “Thank you. Will you stay with her?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll stay nearby. If she wakes, come out into the yard and wave or yell. I’ll see you.”

  Bria nodded. She smiled, but Mariah could see the strain in it. She was probably still worrying about Xae. Bria was always worrying about everyone else.

  “I’ll return soon.” Mariah laid a hand on Bria’s shoulder before heading outside.

  The sky was like a beacon to her, its blue depths stretching into infinity. She ran past the well, imagining herself sailing off, riding the currents, feeling the wind in every fiber of her being. And then, there she was, flapping her hawk’s wings—still silver and black—her human form gone. Relief flooded over her, sang through her veins. It hadn’t been a fluke. She had finally learned, albeit entirely by accident—or by urgency—what Gwyn had been trying to teach her for so long. She could find no natural explanation for what she could do. Her mentor was right. It was magic.

  Maybe there was also some truth to what her mentor had kept telling her about her abilities being a gift. Although she wasn’t entirely convinced, it was easier to believe now that she wasn’t caught somewhere in the middle.

  * * *

  When Mariah returned to the house and went inside to check on Gwyn, she found that Kalen had joined Bria. They were both standing between her and the bed, but they parted to let her through.

  Gwyneth was awake, lying on her side and smiling weakly up at Mariah.

  “Gwyn!”

  “I’m so glad you came back, Mari. It’s so good to see you. The way we parted …” Her hand fluttered at her side but then settled back on her hip.

  Mariah knelt down next to the bed and touched the old woman’s face with a gentle hand. “It’s good to see you, too. I’ve been so worried.”

  “I’m going to be fine. At least, Kalen thinks so. She says I just need rest.”

  Mariah looked to the healer, who nodded, a wide smile on her face.

  “Thank the gods,” Mariah said, elation bubbling up in her chest. “Do you need anything? What can I get for you?”

  Gwyn’s smile grew. “Nothing, child, nothing. Just sit with me a while.”

  “I’ll be out here,” Bria said, moving toward the door. “I’m just finishing up another batch of bone broth.”

  “Let me come with you,” Kalen said. “I have some herbs I’d like to add to speed healing. I am overjoyed to see you awake, Lady Gwyn.”

  “Thank you.” She waited until Kalen had departed before she looked back at Mariah. Her voice, though still weak, had turned eager. “Turn around, child. Let me see.”

  Mariah scooted around slowly, pausing when her back was to the old woman. She felt a cool hand touch the bare spot on her back.

  “You did it,” she whispered. After a moment, she removed her hand, and Mariah turned back around.

  “Actually, you did it, letting yourself get attacked like that.” Mariah laughed so that she wouldn’t start crying again. She was tired of crying. “I was in such a hurry to get back here—”

  “That you changed without meaning to?”

  “I almost lost all of my things when I suddenly had no hands left to hold my pack! At least you seem to keep yours, even if they do
turn into paws. How do you know so much, anyway?”

  “I know you, Mari. You are my daughter in spirit if nothing else. The daughter that came to me fully grown. You will learn.”

  Mariah repeated something that Gwyneth had said to her many times over the years. It seemed especially important today. “If the gods take you away from your own family, it’s up to you to make your own.” It made her think of the conversation she had overheard earlier. “It wasn’t the gods, Gwyn. It was Rothgar. He took away my family, and now he has taken Xae’s. Who knows how many other families he has torn apart? And now, Xae is determined to go back and save his sisters, even if it means his life. He’s even younger than I was. How will he fight?”

  “He’s not ready to give up on them. Do you remember how many times you almost left to return to your father, to make sure that he had survived?”

  Mariah swallowed. There had been times when Gwyneth had threatened to lock her up until she came to her senses. “You were right, though. It would have been suicide. My secret was out. It would have been me against everyone in Eaglespire. If my father did survive, my mother would have cared for him, no matter how little she cared for me. And if he died, my risk would have been for nothing. He couldn’t have come with me without his own wings, even if he had wanted to.”

  “I have regretted not finding a way to help you”

  “You have?”

  “Yes. Just like I regretted not finding a way to stand up to the king all those years ago. Instead, I fled as soon as I heard the proclamation that the Ceo San were, by the king’s birthright, to be recruited into his elite guard.”

  “What could you have done? You are but one woman.”

  “Not much, but someone must begin the fight. Every revolution starts with one person. I wish I’d been strong enough to be that person. As it is, from stories like Xae’s and the news that I’ve heard coming from the coastline, I fear that all of the Ceo San will be either wiped out or made slaves to the royal line of Varidian.” She took a slow breath. “The Ceo San are born into times of need to serve a purpose. Maybe this time, their purpose is to save themselves. I saved myself but have failed to save the others.”

  Mariah laid a hand over hers. “You saved me, my lady. I don’t know how long I could have survived without your help in those early days.”

  Gwyneth smiled, although her golden eyes were still serious. “Maybe that will be enough.” Mariah thought she was going to say something else, but just then, Bria returned to the room with a bowl of steaming broth.

  To Mariah’s sensitive nostrils, the medicinal smell from Kalen’s herbs was strong and almost overpowered the aroma of the bones that had been used to brew it. She knew that Gwyn would sense it, too, but she would drink it without complaint because it would help her get stronger.

  Bria took Mariah’s place at the head of the bed to feed Gwyn.

  When Kalen returned, she sat behind the old woman and began removing the latest batch of poultices. “You heal fast, old woman,” she said. “When Bria brought me to you a few days ago, I did not think you were going to make it. You have proven me wrong. Maybe your heritage has saved you.” She touched one of the wounds, which now had a large, dry scab over it. “I’ll put a bandage around these, but I don’t think you need the dressings anymore. I’ll want to apply ointment to them every day, but you appear to have come through.”

  Mariah felt a days-long weight lift from her shoulders. Gwyn was going to be okay.

  “I always do.” Gwyn laughed softly as Bria rose and took the empty bowl away in silence. “Do I have to lie back on my stomach?”

  “For a couple more days,” Kalen said. “Your wounds will still be tender for a while. I also want you to keep resting.”

  “Fine, fine,” Gwyn replied. “But before you put that bandage on, can I try something? I’m tired of my face being in my pillow.”

  Kalen’s eyebrows rose, but before she could reply, the air warmed, and Gwyn’s form shimmered. Mariah smiled. A brindled hunting cat was now stretched out on the bed. She gathered her legs under her so that she was back on her stomach. Now, her back faced upward, but she had strong, sinewy legs to support her. The wounds, which looked much the same as they had in her human form, were higher and easier for Kalen to reach. She laid her head across her paws. Mariah thought she looked much more comfortable.

  Kalen’s sigh was loud. “Thanks for the warning, lady.”

  Gwyn responded with a low rumbling sound.

  “Can you stand up so I can put on these bandages?”

  “I’ll help,” Mariah put in, and they got to work.

  As she went through the motions of supporting Gwyn’s body and helping Kalen with the bandages, Mariah thought about Xae once again and about everything her mentor had said about her own regrets. If Xae left on his rescue mission and never returned, how would she forgive herself for refusing him? How would she look at Gwyn, knowing that she hadn’t at least tried to help him? Knowing that she had let Rothgar win again?

  Gwyn was on the mend now and had people to help her. Xae was completely on his own. He needed someone. She didn’t know if she would be enough, but she had to try. Maybe it was time to take a few back for the Ceo San and do what Gwyn herself had been unable to.

  * * *

  When Gwyn was resting comfortably once again, Mariah left the bedroom to find Bria standing on the small, wooden front porch with Larissa on one hip and looking out onto the narrow road that passed in front of the cob house. Here on the outskirts of the village, there was no river stone for the road, only dirt. Her friend bounced slightly, soothing the baby.

  “Are you returning to the farm?”

  “Soon,” Bria replied. “Wakely should be here anytime. He usually comes by in the afternoon. I need to get back. I told Xae that I would take care of some things for him.”

  “I know. I overheard. Does he really intend to attempt this rescue? He doesn’t even know what happened to his family after he left. They could be anywhere.”

  “Yes. He is set. If it were my family, I would go, too, even if there was barely a chance. Gods, if I didn’t have small children who needed me, I would go with Xae myself.”

  Mariah nodded, guilt from leaving her father creeping into her heart once again. “I’ll go.”

  Bria stared at her. “But Gwyn said—”

  “I know. I told her I would never return. But you’re right. He’ll almost certainly be killed or enslaved if he goes alone. He might be anyway, but I can try to help. I can transform all the way now. It’s not the reason I changed my mind, but it will certainly help. A half-bird woman certainly stands out. I imagine that is doubly true in Varidian these days. At least now we’ll both be able to hide if there is need.”

  Bria gave her a one-armed hug. “Thank you. I wish now I wouldn’t have two of you to worry about, but I understand why you must go, and I’m glad. I’ll head back to the farm if you don’t mind. If you pack your clothing and waterskin, I’ll take care of the rest. At least with two of you, you’ll be able to take more.”

  “I can carry more than Xae, too, I think.” She had been able to carry her pack all the way from Firebend to Wellspring. She hoped she could sustain that for an indefinite period. “But with two of us, we will need more supplies. Does Xae know how to hunt? There is a lot to consider.”

  “Why don’t you meet me at the house when Wakely gets here? I’m sure he’d be happy to sit with Gwyn for a while. If it’s all right, I’ll tell Xae about your decision.”

  “No, let me. I said some things back at Firebend that I must apologize for.”

  Bria studied her for a moment before replying. “I better get going then. I need to gather my own things. Larissa and I will stay here with Gwyn until she’s well enough to be on her own.”

  Mariah hugged her before stepping off the porch. As she watched her friend walk away, she wrapped her arms around her own body. Her insides were shaking. She had to push away recollections of run
ning down the street in Eaglespire, soldiers with swords at her back. Had she really decided to return?

  PART II

  RETURN

  CHAPTER 10

  TOGETHER

  When she arrived at the farm and had finished greeting all of the children and the dogs once again, Mariah went looking for Xae. She found him perched on top of the storage shed, staring into the sky to the north. His small, black eyes turned to her as she approached on foot.

  “Can we talk?” she asked, looking up at him.

  The boy—Mariah had learned he was only fourteen—replied in that strange, croaking warble that only ravens could manage and flew down to her, seamlessly changing his form as he neared the ground.

  He followed silently as Mariah led him over to the stone wall surrounding the sheep pen. She sat down, but Xae remained standing, his black eyes, now larger, still focused on her.

  “Xae, back at the cave, at Edana, I wasn’t thinking. I said some things that hurt you because I was scared. The memory of having to flee my home is still sore, even after seven years. My father was my world. He sheltered me, protected me, taught me. He tried to give me a good life, despite everything. I hated to leave him, even though he was the one who told me to go. And, like you, I still don’t know if my father yet lives.”

  “My father is dead,” the boy replied without emotion. “He was already bleeding out when I escaped.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Mariah whispered. A little voice nagged at her thoughts. The parallels between them were too strong. Xae’s father had suffered while his mother had lived, apparently unharmed. Had she betrayed her family like Mariah’s mother had?

  Xae’s lips tightened.

  “Nonetheless, I apologize for what I said. It was uncalled for. I have been doing a lot of thinking since we returned to Wellspring. I can’t let you go to Varidian alone.”

  His face reddened. “How is that any of your concern? I can’t leave my sisters to be killed or become slaves. They’re ravens, the perfect spies for Rothgar’s quest to conquer the whole of Whitelea. He has already taken almost the whole continent—”