Chapter 18
Lennox poured one more jug of water over his head, savoring the feeling of being clean again. He stepped out of the knee-high tub and had just reached for a drying cloth when the door opened and Nora appeared, carrying a tray.
“Oh! I didn’t mean to disturb you.” She stared in shock then quickly averted her eyes, turning a delectable shade of pink. “I’ve brought you some more food. And cold ale.”
“Disturb me? We are wed, are we not?” Lennox saw the tops of her breasts begin to flush, and her nipples puckered through the fabric of her bodice. He felt blood rush to his loins, but he didn’t want to alarm the lass, so he covered himself with the towel. “Now that I’ve washed away those layers of grime, I feel like a new man. I don’t even mind the scent of lavender from your soap.”
“I think lavender is a fine scent for men as well as women.” She set the tray on a chest. Still looking away, she asked, “Shall I get you a clean pair of hose?”
“Nay.” The cloth was just big enough to wrap around his narrow hips, and he tucked one end inside to secure it. “That bed looks very inviting. Will ye join me?”
She glanced at the tray. “But…”
If it were anyone but Nora, he might have enjoyed a bit of cat and mouse, but this was not a time for that sort of love play. “It’s not food I need now,” Lennox said softly. He stretched out on the bed and held out a sun-darkened hand to her. “I have missed ye. Come and talk to me.”
It seemed Nora’s heartbeat was audible even to him as she obeyed. When she was lying beside him, all he wanted to do was to divest her of her gown, petticoat, and kirtle, but instead he pretended not to notice all the clothing that hid her from his sight. He rose up on an elbow and gazed down at her face, which was all the lovelier because of its character and intelligence.
“While I was away, missing ye, I had a lot of time to think.” Lightly, he traced the curves of her face with one fingertip. Her eyes were huge, blue as sapphires, staring back at him.
“Think?” Nora echoed in a small croak.
By God, she was enchanting. A smile touched his mouth as he replied, “Aye. Thinking, even in my dreams, that perhaps there is a way to make this handfasting real. I know my future is filled with uncertainty. I have told myself that I should remain unencumbered by romantic attachments, at least until I know who I truly am and where I belong. Yet I have tender feelings for ye, Nora Brodie.” He swallowed, wanting to say the word love, but unable to leap that chasm for the first time. “Do ye feel the same?”
Lennox paused, waiting, and the moments seemed to stretch into eternity. At last, she spoke, her voice thick.
“I do.” She reached up to touch him, her slim hand soft against his hard, stubbled jaw, but he saw pain in her eyes. “I… I did not expect this.”
Clearly, she was struggling inside. “What is it, lass?” He felt a powerful need to show her how right it could be between them. “That night we rode away from Stirling, when we lay together and I took your innocence… It was not what it should have been. We can have so much more together.”
A long moment passed before he heard her soft whisper. “Yes. I do want that.”
Every part of him burned for her, aching to taste her kisses, to be inside her, to say with his body what he could not put into words. Smoothing back her curls, Lennox bent to capture her mouth. She parted her lips and returned his kiss, her hands on the damp, bare breadth of his shoulders. He slowly trailed one hand up the curve of her waist, over her ribcage, and then used his fingertip to lightly circle her nipple over the fabric of her bodice. When her nipple tightened, he cupped her breast, feeling her response, determined to go slow and savor each caress, each taste, each throb of arousal. The night when they had lain together in the woods, a blind need had carried them away, but today would be different.
Lennox kissed his way from her mouth down her neck, burying his face in her meadow-scented cloud of curls. “All these clothes ye are wearing,” he murmured, “are in the way.”
Nora nodded, eyes closed. He found the laces of her gown, opening her bodice, drinking in the sight of her pink-tipped breasts, creamy in the soft afternoon light.
“Ye are so beautiful,” he said hoarsely. “I mean to make this everything ye have ever dreamed of.”
Bending, he kissed her again, exploring her mouth with his tongue, feeling her breathing change. And then he tasted salty tears.
Feeling as if cold water had been splashed on him, he lifted his head. “What’s amiss?” he asked hoarsely. “What have I done?”
Now the tears spilled from her eyes, and she didn’t trouble to dry them. “You have done nothing. It isn’t you, Lennox, it’s me. I am what’s amiss.”
“I do not understand.” Suddenly, it seemed he was looking at a stranger, and yet perhaps this was simply what he had sensed for so long, the invisible barrier that existed between them. “What the devil are ye saying?”
Nora pushed herself up to a sitting position. “I have been keeping something from you.” Now she was dry-eyed, determined. “I have been avoiding the truth, wishing it could be otherwise, but I should have told you long ago…that night we lay together in the woods.”
* * *
It hurt her to see the pain and confusion on Lennox’s splendid face, to feel his struggle to suppress the tide of his desire. But she could not keep the truth from him a moment longer, especially now that he had begun to speak of a future for them.
A future! The very word made Nora’s stomach knot, for she alone felt the chasm of secrets yawning between them.
“I’m listening.” Lennox pushed back against a pillow and watched her. “Whatever it is, ye can safely tell me.”
Nora gazed at him, his tawny hair still damp and tousled, his serious, magnificent face darkened by the sun. When she looked at his mouth and thought of his sensual kisses, a shiver of wonder ran through her. How could she bring her troubles into the life of this good man? He had given her his protection, his friendship, and perhaps his heart.
“I wish all of it were different, that I could be the woman you imagine I am.”
A shadow crossed his face, but he made no reply.
Unable to delay a moment longer, she took a deep breath, met Lennox’s green eyes and summoned all her courage. “I was not a virgin when we lay together that night in the woods. I…had been with another man.”
He paled then seemed to gather himself. “I was no innocent either, lass. I can understand if ye have cared for another.”
She shook her head. “It was not like that.” Pausing, Nora thought she might be sick. How hard it was to say these things aloud! “I lay with someone I did not love. I did not even want to do it, but—”
Lennox cut in. “Ye must tell me every bit of this tale,” he said sternly. “I want to hear it.”
“It happened at Stirling Castle. There was a man—”
“Which man?” he demanded.
“Why must you know that?” Her face heated. “He was simply a man of importance who visited the castle. One night, when Father sat at the high table with the king, I drank a goblet of wine in the company of this man.” Remembering that Lennox had been at court that very night, she could not bring herself to identify Sir Raymond Slater. It would be humiliating if Lennox imagined Slater on top of her, inside her, putting his seed there to grow into a baby… “When I felt ill, he insisted on seeing me back to our rooms. There, I grew dizzy. Perhaps it was the wine. It could be that I imbibed more than I realized.” Her voice broke.
“God’s blood,” Lennox ground out. “He took you when you were in that state?”
Nora clenched her trembling hands. “In truth, I am not entirely certain how it happened. I was lying on my bed, and he was there with me. Perhaps I encouraged him in some way? It seems I must have! Otherwise, it could not have happened.”
“The snake who did this was Sir Raymond Slater,” Lennox said abruptly. His eyes shone with fury, and a muscle pulsed in his jaw. Before Nora could s
peak, he continued, “I looked for you that night. I encountered Slater in the courtyard and asked if he had seen you. He said ye were unwell and required his escort to your room. The bastard!”
“I have never seen you like this,” Nora murmured, dread coiling inside her.
“If only ye could have trusted me enough then to tell me!” Lennox’s powerful body was taut with rage.
“That would have solved nothing. He left Stirling the very next morning.”
“By God, I will kill him.”
Nora stared at him in trepidation. “I have feared that, if I told you my sad story, it would bring pain to you as well.” Her voice broke as a wave of hopelessness swept over her. It was impossible to change what had happened to her that night with Slater, even if she were not carrying his baby, and Lennox’s rage made her world feel even shakier. “I cannot fairly accuse Sir Raymond of forcing himself on me. I was confused, and perhaps…”
“Perhaps what?”
She blinked. “Perhaps I unwittingly encouraged his…attentions.”
“Are ye mad?” He reached out and gripped her soft upper arms, and she felt the fire inside him. “That devil raped you, Nora!”
Her eyes swam with bitter tears. “I cannot be certain what happened because I did not refuse him or fight against him. It was all a blur. I only know that I cannot undo it, and now I am changed. Soiled.” Vivid, sickening memories returned of Slater pushing inside her, grunting. “I do not blame you for being angry, yet I had to tell you. I know a good man like you will not want me. I am tainted, but I can still make a future, with weaving the center of my life.” Her voice broke. “I am grateful to have that remaining gift.” Silently, she added, A gift no man can steal.
Lennox’s grip relaxed, and now he gathered her against his broad chest, holding her in a way that only made her weep more. Had all these tears been stored inside all along? Even as Lennox held her, Nora waited for him to ask about a babe. He must know that would be the result, if Slater had planted his seed. She was struggling to find the words herself when Lennox lay her down again on the bed and gazed into her eyes.
“Lass, ye are not soiled, not tainted. Ye are as fine and pure as ever.” His voice was raw. “That villain does not have the power to snuff out the light inside you, unless ye allow it.”
“It is how I feel,” she said honestly, fighting an urge to avert her eyes. “I made a terrible mistake and it stained me. I should have told you sooner, before you began to…care for me.”
“It is too late.” He shook his head, and she saw the corners of his eyes crinkle as his gaze warmed. “I already care.”
Nora wondered if she were hearing things. “If you mean to be kind, I am grateful, but—”
His finger touched her lips, silencing her. “Nay. Of course ye deserve kindness rather than shame, yet much more as well. Ah, Nora, this does not change my feelings.” The currents of emotion in his voice warmed the hidden recesses of her heart. He lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips then the tender base of her wrist. “The only stain is in your mind, lass. Together, we can wash it away.”
A flurry of emotions began inside her, like the beating of a thousand tiny wings. Meeting Lennox’s gaze, Nora could not bear to say one more hard thing.
“I want that,” she whispered. “Very much.”
“I know ye are strong and spirited, Nora Brodie, but today, in this bed, I would ask that ye surrender to me.” The smoldering desire in his eyes made her heart leap. “Trust me.”
“I will.” She spoke the words like a vow. “But what shall I do?”
For an instant, his brow arched in invitation. “Your body will know.”
Terrified and exhilarated all at once, Nora went into Lennox’s arms. It was heaven, feeling the strength and tenderness of his embrace. The intoxicating scent of his skin, the texture of his hair, the hunger in his sea-green eyes, all combined to ignite a flame of arousal inside her. He kissed her with practiced lips, slowly drawing out each exquisite sensation, while his fingers found the laces on her gown.
“I want us to be naked together,” he said in a ragged whisper.
Slowly, Lennox removed each piece of her clothing, his fingertips brushing her skin just enough to make her ache for more. When she lay under Lennox’s gaze clad in only a silk smock, he levered himself on an elbow and lightly caressed from her knee upward, under the smock to graze Nora’s sensitive inner thigh. Their eyes met, and she felt the heat in her face.
“Does that feel good?” he whispered.
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, nodding. Warmth surged between her legs, building with each brush of his fingertips, and yet he avoided the place that ached most for his touch.
Please…
Instead, without moving his hand from her thigh, he kissed her, a deep, sweet kiss that only intensified Nora’s ache. His mouth moved down the column of her neck, burning, until he reached her breasts, still covered by her smock. Her nipples puckered just thinking about his mouth, so close, and then she felt his tongue, hot and wet, through the whisper-thin silk. The erotic sensation was a shock.
“Ye are perfect, so beautiful,” he murmured. He covered her nipple with his mouth and sucked it in, the silky barrier adding to the sharp currents of pleasure. At the same time, his hand lightly stroked inside her thigh, closer, closer.
Nora arched her neck, every nerve in her body alive. His fingertips brushed the curls between her legs and she moaned aloud, opening to him, lifting her hips to try to bring him in contact with the wet, congested bud that needed his touch so desperately.
“Ye were made for love,” Lennox said softly. “Can ye feel it?”
She nearly sobbed when he finally touched her there, lightly pinching in a way that drove her mad. His fingertip moved in gentle circles, not quite giving her what she needed until her arousal became unbearably heightened. Nora had pleasured herself before, to the point of release, but these feelings went far beyond her imaginings.
Her eyes were closed in concentration when she felt him gently pushing her smock up and over her head. She barely had a chance to register her own nakedness, for Lennox was now kissing her hip, her abdomen, her inner thigh. Nora gasped aloud, daring to look. To her shock, she saw Lennox’s unruly golden head, there, between her legs.
“Let go, lass,” he murmured, sending her a faintly roguish smile.
It should have been shameful, but the sight of him there only intensified her arousal. When he replaced his fingertip with his mouth, she gave a low cry. He licked, swirled, flicked, and explored until the sensations grew wilder, insistent, nearly unbearable. Nora reached out for his hair, grasping what she could, trying to get closer to him. On the verge of insisting that he stop, she had to have more.
He was driving her completely mad. As Nora hovered at the precipice, he pushed a finger deep inside her, tipping her over the edge. A glorious series of spasms shook her to her very core and left her disoriented. When the storm began to subside, she managed to focus on Lennox as he gathered her into his arms.
“I never imagined,” she said, blushing.
He smiled into her eyes, tracing her cheekbone with the backs of his fingers. It was a tender gesture, and when he kissed her, Nora tasted herself. Suddenly she felt consumed with a need to touch him in return. Fleetingly, a shadowed memory of Slater darkened her thoughts, but everything about that night was so completely different from this light-filled interlude that it was easier to separate the two than she had ever dreamed.
Lennox was lying on top of her, skin to skin, and Nora could feel the strong beat of his heart against her breasts. Euphoric, she raised her hands to his face, framing it as he gazed down at her. Love welled up in her, rich and warm and sure, but before she could say the words, he was kissing her.
“This is all that matters,” he said. “The two of us.”
Their tongues met, fencing, as he moved back and forth inside her mouth, the rhythm reawakening her need. Nora traced the muscles of his shoulders with
her fingertips then ran her hands down his tapering back. His body was like the statues she had seen in Europe, yet Lennox was thrillingly alive. His hard thigh nudged her legs apart and she was thrilled to comply, opening to him, moaning aloud when the hard, pulsing length of him settled against the hot center of her being. Instinctively, Nora rubbed against him, longing to topple into rapture again, but Lennox smiled against her mouth.
“Wait for me, lass…”
He was there, nudging at her slick entrance, and suddenly she wanted that more than anything. Lifting her hips, she invited him in, as their eyes met in a moment of raw intimacy. Lennox brought up a hand to push the damp curls from her brow, clearly in no hurry. He came into her an inch at a time. For an instant, she worried she would not be able to accommodate him.
Against her ear, his breath was warm. “Are ye all right?”
Nora nodded, drawing a deep breath just as he pushed all the way in, filling her. The sense of completion brought tears to her eyes. The coiled tension in Lennox’s body was evident, yet she sensed he was taking his time for her sake. As he began to move inside her, drawing nearly all the way out before sliding back in, Nora wrapped her arms around his back and arched her hips in answer, again and again. Soon, she couldn’t think at all, and as her passion mounted, Lennox’s thrusts grew faster, harder. Each one took Nora closer to the fire she craved.
“Come with me,” he urged. As he drove in one last time, groaning, Nora felt her world shatter again. Currents of exquisite pleasure radiated out from her core, and when the pulsing subsided, she was clinging tight to Lennox.
* * *
He eased onto his side and stayed inside Nora, holding her, gradually trying to sift through his feelings. His intention had been to not only make love to her but to carry her well past the notion that she was soiled in some way by what had happened with that devil Slater.
His sister, Fiona, who knew him so well, would accuse him of once again being tempted to rescue a damsel in distress. Other men might pursue victory on the battlefield, but Lennox had always seized the challenge of saving people.
Quest of the Highlander (Crowns & Kilts Book 5) Page 16