by Richard Amos
THE GHOST HAD GONE by the time Mr. Z arrived.
Great.
Wicked.
Bollocks!
We were no closer to anything and it was seriously pissing me off. There was no trace of a Kyler linked to Thomas Ark. At all. No social media presence, no criminal record. Zilch.
I left the crime scene, needing a break by myself. I didn’t walk far, ducked the police tape and leant myself against a wall.
The sun was dying, the day coming to a close. Man, how fast the days get swallowed up. Seeing as there wasn’t much else for me to do, apart from maybe bang my head against this wall, I planned on going home to get to cooking up another masterpiece for my special ones.
Yeah, I needed release and happy things to stop the image of Kyler flashing across my mind, of all the things I could’ve done to help under different circumstances.
What was this? A need to help? If I were honest, I’d been thinking about this before Thomas. There were so many addicts out there, and I had a story to tell—one of hope and recovery that could help some of the lost people. But it made me feel arrogant, like I was rubbing my success in shaking the demon of addiction in the faces of those who didn’t have the same luck as me. I mean, I had Dean and Louise, I had my friends and my experiences in Coldharbour. Not that you’d call the time in that city lucky—the really dark bits—but at the same time it was because it’d been the steppingstones to the place I was in now. I’d healed there.
Maybe I was coming from a point of privilege because of the comforts I now had. But I’d had comfort before before when I’d been a model and the addiction had taken hold of me. Money and the beginnings of fame, and a husband. I was on the up, only for the lot of it to come crashing down in one big rumble of devastation. Had it all, lost it all, got back up again. Was that a story addicts wanted to hear? That they could survive the crash too? Money didn’t matter. We all had our different lives, different stories. Why couldn’t mine help trigger another chain of events to start someone on the path to recovery?
Arrogant. Yeah. It’d feel like lecturing people. But this Kyler needed help, and someone to talk to. If it weren’t for all this shit going on, and the fact that his boyfriend was a murderer, maybe I could be the shoulder he needed.
Thing is, addicts need to make the first step themselves, to accept the addiction, to want to listen.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just not give fuck and be all about my family? It’d be less complicated, giving me a much cleaner mind.
Aha! I did have a soul after all! And it confirmed the life-long knowledge that I was completely full of hot air most of the time. Deep down, I did give a fuck. Well, a bit of bravado never hurt anyone, did it? Actually, maybe it did. My bravado had gotten me in trouble a few times.
Jake Winter: big gob, awesome hair, and wannabe saviour of the broken.
Yeah, right. Okay, two out of three.
I so needed home time. First, I’d call ahead, check in as I loved to do, then tell Lars I was done and all the usual ‘keep me posted’ stuff.
My phone buzzed. It was Sophie.
“Hi. Are you—”
“Jake! Thank goodness!”
I didn’t like the panicked tone. “What’s wrong?” Shit! Please don’t be something bad. Obviously it was, but a man could live in hope.
“I’m at yours with Louise. She was sitting on the doorstep.”
“What? Why was she on the doorstep? What’s Dean doing?”
“He’s not here. I tried calling him but there was no answer.”
How many times in my life had I experienced the sensation of ice in my veins? No way of counting. “I’m on way now.”
Ice. So much bloody ice travelling to every corner of my body.
FIFTEEN
DEAN
A missed call from Sophie.
Not now.
I couldn’t talk now.
“Louise!”
Cherry had joined me, catching me up and fully awake again. I was too mired in fear to talk to her, but she’d told me a woman in a green cloak had come into the café, and then she’d fallen asleep.
“It was her, Dean. She did it to me.”
Fae magic. The smell of rotten flowers wafted off Cherry, the spell she’d been put under dying. It was now deliberately potent as if this fae had wanted me to know who they were without explicitly revealing themselves.
Because I’d rip them into a million pieces.
Had Louise’s power called them? That possibility was spinning. Why else would they come after a four-year-old like that?
My phone was buzzing again. Still running, I pulled it out expecting to see Sophie’s name. Maybe she’d seen Louise!
It was Jake.
Shit.
I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t lie.
“Jake—”
“I’m at home. With Lou. Interesting day you’ve both had.”
I ARRIVED home as the sun went down, full of relief that my girl was okay, but full of dread and shame too. Miraculously, I still had the carrier bag with Jake’s new mug in my hand.
I skulked up the stairs of the stoop and entered my home.
The house was quiet, too still and dark, apart from the living room light being on.
Jake was standing by the TV, arms folded across his chest.
“Hi,” I said.
He didn’t say anything.
“Where’s Louise? Is she alright?”
“Upstairs. She’s upset, rattled because she couldn’t get back to her papa.”
My mouth went completely dry at the thought of it. “What—”
“Happened? Well, some woman in a green cloak took her out of The Golden Leaf, told her she had to come because it would hurt her papa if she didn’t. Yeah, this creature had said ‘Papa’. She knew what Lou calls you.”
I couldn’t breathe.
“So,” Jake continued, “this fae woman led her down some streets, and Lou tried to get away, but the woman insisted it was dangerous to run, that she wouldn’t see you again if she didn’t take part in this secret mission.”
“I—”
Jake held up a hand. “Do you know, Dean, when she was telling me this, she was crying in a way I’d never seen before. In a proper state. Not like when she’s upset that we have to work, but utterly terrified. The worst I’ve ever seen. And she’s so brave because she believed she was helping you, that she had to do the right thing.”
My tongue had stopped working, throat closing up.
“She’s four and had to go through that.” He shook his head, his eyes glistening with tears. “Anyway, back to the story of Lou’s fun experience. Well, this bitch took her to a Faerie portal in the flower market. Yeah, Dean. She thought she was going on a trip to Faerie. And guess what? There were no guards at all.”
There should’ve been. All Faerie portals were guarded from both sides, twenty-four hours a day, with strict border controls.
“But thank fuck that trip didn’t happen.” Jake continued. “Instead, this woman told Lou that she needed something from her, to stay still.”
“What?”
“She touched Lou on the chest with a finger and something grew hot there, made the woman’s hands glow pink like Papa’s.”
“Oh shit.”
“Then the woman said they wouldn’t be going to Faerie today—again, thank fuck—but maybe some other time, and she brought Lou home, saying goodbye and leaving her on the doorstep. That was when Sophie spotted her. Not the fae woman—she didn’t see her.” A deep breath. “She was sobbing her little heart out, calling for you, for me.”
My chest was fit to crack open and release my heart onto the floor. “Cherry saw the fae,” I offered. “She was watching Louise.”
Jake shook his head. “You broke your promise.”
He was calmer than I’d thought he’d be. For now. “I know, I’m—”
“After everything that’s happened, you took our daughter outside, knowing all the bullshit th
at was going on. You put her at risk and you…you…broke your promise and scared the shit out of Lou and me. What were you thinking?”
“I’ll talk to her. I’ll put this right.”
“She doesn’t wanna see you. She needs rest and to…I don’t know how she’ll get over this. Fuck.”
I reached for him. “Jake, I—"
“Don’t touch me.”
“Jake.” I tried again.
“I said don’t fucking touch me! How could you do this to her?”
“Jake—”
“You sat there and lied to me, made me feel like I didn’t have to worry so much about you and Lou today. How fucking wrong I was! You’re a liar, Dean Tseng. A fucking liar.”
“I didn’t plan this straight away.”
“Straight away? What does that mean?”
“It means I couldn’t sit back and let you do all the work. I had to help, feeling like a bit of a spare part. I was going crazy knowing I couldn’t do anything. I forgot myself, and I know that’s no excuse, but I did.”
“I don’t wanna talk anymore.”
“What? You—”
“Fuck off.”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Jake. You wanted to talk. Listen to me.”
“Oh, so you didn’t want to talk about this yourself? Never wanted to mention you’d been out there talking to goblins and letting Lou wander off with strangers?”
“I didn’t let her. It just…” The real firestorm was about to begin. “
“We haven’t got to the best bit, have we? Skirting around the juiciest part.” Those eyes of his were full of murder. “Even worse than some fae putting her hands on Lou. You had an encounter with the Ricci twins, didn’t you?”
In response, I reeled it all off to him. He watched me, barely taking a breath in his stony stillness.
“Jake?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard the story.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“The Conclave. The fucking Conclave.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You put her in the path of the Conclave.”
“Not on purpose. You know that.”
“You bastard.”
“Jake, don’t—”
“The fucking Conclave!” he roared. “Those fucking twins! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Keep your voice down. She’ll hear.”
He did actually lower his tone, which was pretty impressive for a famous hothead like him. “I can’t believe this.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to help. I did talk—"
“All because you wanted to feel useful?” He cut me off, not into hearing my answer at all. “That’s really your excuse to drag her outside?” His face was reddening. “Oh, my bad. You weren’t at the hospital last night, were you? You must have missed all that drama with those crazy knobheads and our daughter’s little freezing trick.”
“You don’t need to say it like that.”
“Don’t I? You seem to have memory loss. Anything could’ve happened.”
“I fucked up. I’m sorry. Don’t stand there and act like I deliberately put my daughter in danger. You know me better than that. I get you’re angry, and you should be, but to act like this was me dragging Louise into danger on purpose is unfair.”
“Oh, yeah. She’s your daughter. My mistake. What right do I—”
Now he’d seriously pissed me off. “Fuck you, Jake. When have I ever said that? When have I ever made you feel like she wasn’t yours too? Never. That’s low. So low.”
“And so is sneaking out the house.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore.”
“Then don’t. I’m done.”
“Good. Me too.”
He glared at me. “Trying to take the high road, eh?” He shook his head. “Prick.”
“Why are you talking to me like that?”
“I can say whatever the fuck I want.”
“I thought you were done.”
“I thought you were done!” Up went his volume again. “Yeah, I’m done.” He stormed out of the room and went upstairs. A door slammed, triggering Louise to call something I didn’t quite catch from her room.
I heard a door open. “All good, Lou,” Jake called. “You just chill.”
The door closed, gentler this time.
I stood in the living room for some time, empty, not knowing what to do. I should’ve been raging at the way he spoke to me, but I was just cold. I’d completely messed up and didn’t know what to do. Why couldn’t I have just stayed in and had papa and daughter day like I’d planned? I could’ve avoided this mess.
Jake hadn’t noticed the carrier bag in my hand, the Lord of the Rings mug still waiting for him inside. I’d forgotten it until the rustle of the bag reminded me.
There would be no more surprises tonight.
The portal. It became a sudden focal point as crimson mist descended.
I left the house, retrieved my motorbike from its position locked and covered beside the stoop, and tore into the night.
I ARRIVED at the flower market in record time, breaking so many speed limits I didn’t care one degree about.
Down a side alley, away from the stools selling flowers that were starting to close for the night, I saw the portal ripple, even in the dark, an upright pool slightly tinged with silver. There were two booths either side of it, small enough to accommodate a council border guard in each—both armed with a wand.
Where had they been when my daughter had been brought here?
Removing my bike helmet, I approached, and the men stepped out to greet me. The dim lights of the city and the booths barely revealed their features.
“Documentation,” the man on the left said gruffly in Dutch. Border guards were notoriously moody.
“I don’t want to cross.”
“Why you here, then?”
“For information.”
I showed him my PIA identification. The other guard looked at it too, staying quiet.
The left guard nodded. “What information?”
“Did you see a little girl brought here earlier today with a woman in a green cloak?”
“No.” He looked to his comrade, who shook his head.
“You were on shift today?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“And you saw nothing?”
“That’s what we said.”
“You’re sure?”
“Last time I checked, it was my job to notice stuff like that. No one has crossed here today. People don’t much anymore. If they do, they use the crossing at Amsterdam Centraal.”
The other guard nodded.
Amsterdam Centraal station had a new purpose-built railway to feed trade with the Summer state in Faerie, as well as tourism. Some of the best beaches were over there but going on holiday required so much paperwork it hardly seemed worth it.
“Okay. Fine. Thanks.”
That was all the information I was getting.
I really needed to write that letter to my dad.
And maybe leave this city…
SIXTEEN
JAKE
Dean had left, gone out.
For now, maybe that was for the best. I was too angry and had no intention of speaking to him again for a while, even if I did miss him being here.
What was he doing out there? What if he got himself hurt?
I was in bed, under the covers in darkness, my bedroom curtains open so I could see the moon. It was slightly soothing, but not enough to temper my fears.
A fae had taken Lou and taken something from her.
I couldn’t move, just wanted to lie down and be still and listen out for Lou in case she needed me. After Dean had left, she’d had some hot milk with turmeric and cinnamon, and fallen asleep sucking her thumb, asking where her papa had gone.
“For some fresh air,” I’d told her.
“I heard you shout at him,” she’d replied.
“Sorry you had to hear that, but I’m very cross with him.”
; “Did he give you the new mug?”
“You what?”
“We got you a present.”
“You did?”
So he’d got me a me a new Lord of the Rings mug? Didn’t make a bit of difference. What I’d wanted was for him to keep his promise and keep our daughter safe.
Crap. Here came the tears, hot and stinging.
Lou hadn’t mentioned what she’d done at the hospital, and neither had I. Thinking about it upset me, which was like burying my hand in the sand. Whatever. I wanted my head there, just for tonight, maybe a while longer.
Despite her trauma, Lou was in a deep sleep. I’d checked on her ten minutes ago, before going back to being still in my bed. If I was still, the world wouldn’t spin apart around me.
SEVENTEEN
DEAN
A different part of the city, facing two more guards in a different context.
These two guards weren’t council guards, but golems—hired help to guard the house of Brem.
I hadn’t seen these guys before, all beefy and suited up in black, wearing dark shades despite it being night.
The one of the left with the white quiff said, “You wanna see the boss?”
“Please.” Well, despite the grim expression, he was a lot friendlier than the other golems I’d had to speak with here.
The other golem offered me a small smile.
Was I in some alternate dimension?
The smiler turned and went inside.
“Won’t be long,” the remaining golem said. “Cold night, eh?”
“It is.”
“Nice the snow’s pissed off, though.”
“Yes. Makes it easier to get about now.”
He nodded, saying nothing, watching the street, his head moving as if it were a camera on his wide neck and not a massive skull that’d take a sledgehammer to crack.
A few minutes later, the black door opened and Brem stepped out in a red kimono with matching slippers. I’d never seen him in anything but a suit and stiff body language before. He looked incredibly relaxed, his brown hair messy and not sculpted to perfection as usual, and his lips were an exceptional shade of scarlet, striking against his alabaster skin.
He’d just fed.
“Mr. Tseng,” he said, sandwiched between his bodyguards. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”