My only gripe is that I didn’t have the time to grab something from the cafeteria. Good thing Lexi gave me her crackers, since she always has an extra pack. But no doubt I’ll still be starved by the end of last period.
Sighing, I stare at my Calculus book. And stare at it some more.
“Hey. Lexi said I’d find you here.”
I look up to see Adam sitting across the table.
“Of course she—” I blink at the tray of food he slides toward me. “You brought me lunch?”
He shrugs. “I figured you haven’t had time to grab one.”
My stomach growls, as if to respond. “You’re a lifesaver.” Giving him a sheepish smile, I grab the burger and devour it like it came from the best diner in town. He even included soda and chips. Sweet!
But why are there two burgers and two sodas? Even the chips seem to be a double serving. Did he think one meal is not enough for me?
Adam clears his throat to hide an amused smile. “So, Lexi also told me you’re struggling with Calculus.”
I swallow the food in my mouth before answering. “It’s Math.”
He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Then I’m your guy.”
“Aren’t you going to eat lunch?”
“That’s why I bought two burgers.” He winks.
“Right.”
Here I thought he brought them all for me. This is what Math does to me. It makes me dumb.
“Now what do you need help with?”
Am I really doing this? Am I really going to ask for his help on this? I’m supposed to keep a little distance between us. As it is, I’m already in danger of getting sucked back by him.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’m struggling, of course I’ll ask for his help. I have to take what I can get.
“Well, for starters, I need help with this equation.” I point to the said equation in the book.
“And I can help with that. But mind if I sit beside you? You, know, just so I can explain better. But it’s okay if—”
“No, it’s totally fine.” I scoot back on the bench to give him some room.
Adam moves to sit beside me and I’m instantly surrounded by the fresh and clean scent of his cologne, the one I used to love smelling on him. I almost forgot about it. This is the first time I’ve been this close to him since the breakup.
I take a deep breath and his scent fills my nostrils once again. Oh God, this is bad. Real bad. Why did I let him sit with me? Now, I can’t focus on what he’s saying.
What’s the equation I need to find again? Oh right, the quadratic function.
“Since the graph has x intercepts at one and zero and negative two and zero, this is how you write the equation…”
I nod, pretending to be wrapped up in his explanation, when all I can do is stare at his face.
What am I going to do with this boy? He’s doing all these nice things for me, making it hard to remember why it’s a bad idea to take him back. No matter how much I resist, he keeps breaking down my defenses. Worse, I’m starting to feel things again. Things I thought I already buried. Like the past month never happened. And that scares me.
“Everything clear now?” Adam’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
I smile weakly. “Yeah. Pretty clear.”
I don’t think I’ll be able to get over you. Also, if I flunk the test later, I’m blaming you.
But as it turned out, I didn’t need to blame him for anything. The Calculus teacher graded our papers as soon as we passed them and I ended up getting a—surprise, surprise—B plus. Unbelievable, right? Here I thought Adam was no help. And who knew I could multitask?
I’m still riding the high of my little success when I get off last period, a huge smile plastered on my face, that I almost don’t notice Adam coming toward me.
He’s smiling warmly. “Hey, how did the test go?”
“I passed!” I squeal, launching myself at him for a hug. Then I go ahead and dig myself a bigger hole: I plant a big, fat one on his lips.
I realize my error the moment he freezes and gives me a wide-eyed look.
What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? I silently chant, my cheeks growing hot as I wordlessly take a step back and make a stiff about-face, leaving him frozen to the spot.
I just kissed Adam Hayes. No, I hugged him then I kissed him. Right in front of everyone. Is it too much to wish for the ground to open up and swallow me whole?
What the hell was I thinking? You weren’t thinking, you idiot!
So much for him on being the one to break down all my defenses. I just obliterated every last wall I put up and handed it to him on a silver platter. Ugh!
“Oh my God. Did I just... Did you just...” Amanda is gaping at me when I reach her locker, clearly witnessing my dumbest move to date.
She’s not the only one. One quick glance around tells me everyone within eyesight managed to catch that little display. Because of what I did, tongues are wagging once again.
“Shut up and let’s go,” I whisper furiously at Amanda and hook my arm through hers, practically dragging her out of there.
Sneaking a look behind me, I see Adam still standing there with a dazed grin on his face.
The look on his face and the kiss that caused it haunt me the whole drive home. I can’t help it. I can’t get it out of my head. Neither can I stop the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
It was only a brief kiss yet it feels like his lips is still pressed up against mine. Just like old times.
No.
Stop.
What am I doing? I’m supposed to be ashamed of my actions, not daydream about what we used to be. God, I’m such a hopeless case.
Reaching our driveway, I park my car next to Mom’s. But instead of climbing out and heading inside, I grab my Hello Kitty pillow from the backseat and bury my face in it to scream out my frustration.
When I’m finally calm, I slide out from the car and enter the house through the kitchen, making sure I have my poker face on. Mom will see through me otherwise and I can’t have that. She’s already concerned about the whole babysitting Peaches thing.
The sight of her pulling a tray from the oven greets me. She’s baking something. She has her checkered apron on, her platinum blonde hair pulled up in a loose bun.
When Mom wants to take a break from working, she either bakes or gardens the front yard. It helps with the boredom, she always says.
A beat later, I catch a whiff of the delicious aroma, which makes me frown. “Is that apple pecan pie?”
“Hey, honey. You’re home.” Mom smiles as she sets the large tray of pie—a.k.a. the one I scented correctly—on the table.
Placing my bag on an empty chair, I stare at the pie. “Why did you bake apple pecan, Mom?”
“I just feel like baking, honey. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Uh-huh.” I cross my arms.
Mom knows full well my favorite pie is cranberry pie, not apple pecan pie. Apple pecan is Adam’s favorite, which she also knows, since he spent countless afternoons in our kitchen helping himself to it.
“What’s this about, Mom? I thought you hate Adam.”
Mom lets out a surprised laugh. “You know I can never hate that sweet boy.”
I scowl. “What happened to Team Maddy?”
“I’m always Team Maddy. Just call it a “thank you” gift for making my baby smile again.” She winks and starts to slice the pie.
“What are you talking about?”
“Honey, when was the last time you moped in your room and listened to your breakup playlist?”
My eyes bulge in their sockets. “How did you know about that?”
It’s not like I ever played the songs so loud. Did Lexi tell her? I’m going to kill that girl.
Mom shoots me a duh look. “I’m your mother, of course I know about that. Just like I know Adam is walking you home every night.”
I stare at her, stunned. And here I thought I was being sneaky about it.
�
��We’re not doing anything. He’s just walking me home,” I explain, sounding defensive even to my ears.
If Mom notices, she doesn’t call me out on it. “So I figured the boy has to be doing something good.”
He is. He’s doing so good I ended up kissing him in public. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth to keep from blurting it out.
Not knowing what else to say, I pick up my bag. “I have to get to the Hayes in twenty. I’ll go change now.”
I’m walking out of the kitchen when she calls out, with a teasing lilt to her voice. “Don’t forget to bring the pie to Adam.”
Nine
“When are Mommy and Daddy coming home?” Peaches looks up at me with her big, sad eyes from the foam-filled tub.
She’s having a bubble bath and surrounded by her bath toys, which consist of a mermaid doll, a plastic shark and two rubber ducks.
The little girl loves her bubble baths. And although she already knows how to bathe on her own, I’m sitting on the bench right next to her tub to supervise.
“They’ll be here before the week is over, Peach.”
A pout appears on her adorably cute face. “But that’s far away. I want them here now.”
“No, sweetie. Just two more sleeps,” I explain in a gentle voice.
“I miss them.” She frowns at the mermaid toy she’s been washing with a shower sponge.
The sad look on Peach’s face breaks my heart, making me want to pick her up and hug her. While she talks to Mr. and Mrs. Hayes every day on the phone, it’s not enough. She keeps asking when they will come back. Then she ends up looking disappointed when she hears the answer.
I’m always trying to cheer her up. But unfortunately, I can’t distract her long enough.
I glance at the open door of the bathroom, wondering if Adam is already home. He was out running an errand for Mrs. Hayes when I got here.
If he doesn’t come back in the next hour, I’ll miss his reaction when he sees the pie Mom baked for him.
Because it’s such a big deal for you.
It’s really not. Only because I know Mom will ask if he likes the pie or not. She always does.
Yeah, that’s it. No other reason.
Clearing my head of Adam-related thoughts, I reach for the pink fluffy towel on the rack. “Come on, Peach. Bath time’s over.”
“‘Kay.” She grins up at me then lets out a yawn. Which tells me I made the right call.
Swooping her out of the bathtub, I rub her down with her towel until she’s dry. Then I take her back to her room to change her into her jammies.
Luckily, I didn’t have to work on distracting her any longer. She zonked out not even five minutes after I tucked her into bed. Not surprising, considering we spent the late afternoon into the night playing and goofing around. Peach has worn herself out.
Closing the light, I carefully close her room and make my way down the very quiet hall.
I hate it when the house gets so silent at night. It’s like no one is home. But I know Bianca is already in her room.
What about Adam though?
I get my answer when I hear sounds coming from the kitchen. Should I check if it’s really him?
Chewing on my lip, I glance at the front door which is just a few feet away. Go home, Maddy.
Another moment passes and I jerk out a defeated breath. I’m just going to say goodbye. As a courtesy, I tell myself as I approach the kitchen.
And to say no if he offers to walk me home. I was smart enough to bring my car this time.
Sure enough, Adam is there. And he’s staring at the apple pecan pie on the table with a wistful look on his face.
“Did your mom bake this for me?” He doesn’t even look up when he asks, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Yes.”
Glancing up, he flashes a faint smile. “Does it mean she doesn’t hate me anymore?”
“She never hated you,” I echo Mom’s words.
“She should,” he mutters so softly I almost miss it.
But I pretend not to hear that. “So, um, I better get going. Peach is already asleep in her room.” I start to turn.
“No.”
I whirl back. “No?”
“I mean,” he pushes his glasses up his nose, looking a little nervous, “eat some pie with me first. You used to do that, remember?”
I give him a wary look. “Is it because of the kiss this afternoon? It didn’t change anything, Adam.”
It’s the truth. I may have kissed him. I may have thought about it nonstop since this afternoon. And I may be having all these conflicted feelings inside me. But there’s one thing I’m sure of: we’re still broken up.
“I know that,” he says softly. “I just don’t want to eat alone. But it’s okay if you don’t want to stick around. I understand.”
The vulnerability in his voice propels my feet to move forward and sit on the empty chair beside him. Just this once.
Giving me a grateful smile, he goes to fetch plates and forks and sets them down on the table. He puts a generous slice of the pie on one plate and slides it toward me.
“Thanks.” I pop a forkful of it into my mouth and almost moan.
Apple pecan may not be my favorite, but I’m not averse to it. Like Adam said, I used to eat it with him. Mom simply bakes the best pies. I can’t resist them no matter the flavor.
“Damn, I missed this. Your mom really knows how to bake.”
I smile. “I’ll make sure to let her know that you loved her pie.”
He just grunts, shoveling a large chunk into his mouth.
I have to stifle a laugh. “So, Bianca said you were out running an errand?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Mom made me deliver some files to Mrs. Bennett.”
My brows shoot up. “Mrs. Bennett? You mean Carla and Tara’s mom?”
“None other. She’s a realtor now and works for Mom.”
“Did you help her with something? That’s why it took you so long to come back?” I ask in a casual voice, when what I really want to say is, Tell me Carla wasn’t there.
I know for a fact that that girl wants Adam. Heck, she wanted him even before we broke up. I haven’t talked to her since the day she “asked” my permission to go after him. Did she already get started?
“She wasn’t home when I got there so I had to wait for her. Carla was there, though.”
I narrow my eyes. “She was?”
“Yeah. She kept me company.”
“Really?” So she’s already making her move. My fingers clench the fork in a death grip. “How was she?”
“Carla? She—”
“I bet she’d been a good host. All accommodating and stuff.”
“Well—”
I stab hard at my pie. “Was she uber-friendly? Like maybe she’s bordering on being flirty? I definitely wouldn’t put it past her.”
From the corner of my eyes, I see him put his fork down and face me fully.
What? Why is he looking at me like that? There’s nothing wrong with what I asked, right? I’m just curious, that’s all. I don’t mean anything by it.
“Maddy,” he says in that dangerously soft voice.
“Hmm?” I take a bite of my pie, refusing to look at him.
“Are you jealous?”
“No! Of course not!” My voice gets a little high-pitched, sounding a tad too defensive for my liking. I glare at him to cover it up.
But it fails. A smile is already creeping onto his face. “If you say so.”
“It’s the truth!”
“You don’t have to convince me, Maddy,” he chuckles.
I scowl. “You’re being annoying right now.”
He grins. “And you’re being jealous.”
“I told you I’m not.”
“Okay, okay. I believe you.” He raises in hand in surrender, still chuckling. Then he turns serious, his eyes raking over my features tenderly. “God, I miss you.”
I swallow hard, my heart starting to pound harder. “I�
��m right here.”
“Not in the way I want.”
A strong ache of longing blooms in my chest as I stare back into the sad depths of his eyes.
“I miss you, too,” I admit, unable to help myself, a lone tear trickling down my cheek to my absolute horror.
Groaning, he leans forward and kisses it off.
Then it’s like a dam breaks, and all the hurt and the pain I felt in the past month come crashing over me once again.
Hot tears spill out of my eyes as Adam scrambles to wipe them away with his lips. “Oh God, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he murmurs over and over, his words pained and filled with so much regret. “Please don’t cry. You’re breaking my heart.”
But his words just make me cry harder.
Then, suddenly, his lips are on mine. Kissing me gently, tentatively, as if he’s trying to undo all the hurt he caused. As if he’s pouring all the love and remorse he feels for me into the kiss.
Time stops as I part my lips and kiss him back, my tongue following his lead like it always did. I get lost in the kiss, responding to the way his lips move against mine with everything I have.
And I let my lips reveal every bit of the emotions inside me. To tell him I forgive him. To say that I still love him despite what he did.
We kiss and kiss and kiss, our lips making up for lost time. Like they finally found their way home.
It’s all I can do not to burst into tears once again. I don’t want this moment to end.
“I love you,” he whispers against my lips.
That’s when it hits me. Like a bucket of cold water being dumped over my head, bringing me back to my senses.
What have I done?
Pulling away from Adam, I stand abruptly.
He does the same, still looking dazed from the kiss. “Maddy?”
“I have to go,” I simply say. Then I walk out of the kitchen and out of their house, leaving him stunned for the second time today.
Ten
“Hey, Maddy, where should we put these?”
I look up from the box I just placed on the table to start organizing, and see Chris Coleman and his boyfriend Mark Johnson carrying two large ones.
“We already got them sorted out. All kids’ stuff,” Chris explains.
Kiss and Make Up Page 5