It's All Relative

by S. C. Stephens

  And she did smile, but one of her hands slinked through the end of her long ponytail and Kai could tell she wasn’t thrilled about her look getting messed up. Kai wanted to sigh at the awkward tension building, but he resisted. Walking over to the spare helmet, he helped her put it on. April looked to be containing a sigh too as he, as carefully as he could, slipped the safety device over her perfectly styled hairdo. It gave him a small pang to put something he’d gotten for Jessie over another woman’s head. He instantly felt like he was cheating on her…which was a really strange feeling to have on a date.

  While the helmet fit Jessie perfectly, it was slightly too small for April and Kai knew that her perfectly put together ponytail was going to be a mess when she pulled it off. He felt bad about that, but as he glanced at the window and saw his cousin discretely watching them, his thoughts instantly rewound to watching her pull off a helmet; it had been one of the sexiest things he’d ever seen. Her curls had bounced back to life instantly once freed of the contraption, almost taunting the world that they couldn’t be squashed so easily.

  He nodded at Jessie through the window, then popped his helmet on and slung the bag over his shoulder, positioning it in front of his chest so April could hold onto him. As he sat on the bike, still half watching Jessie in the window, he remembered her body clinging to him. When April slipped on after him, her hands drifted right down to the front of his jeans; she even slid her fingers through the belt buckle loops. Knowing she wouldn’t hear it, Kai finally let himself sigh, the sound contained in his helmet. There were so many things about this night that he already wished were different.

  Like his date.

  Giving Jessie one last wistful look, since that couldn’t be seen either, he started the bike. Then, he left her. He could feel the heat of her gaze as he pulled away from her house, and he let out another sigh. It came out stuttered, as a moment of intense, painful emotion washed over him. He’d never imagined when he’d agreed to this, just how hard it would be.

  Not noticing any of that turmoil, he felt April giggle and rub herself into his back. Her hands clenched his jeans, her thumbs slipping on the inside of his waistband. He concentrated on the sensation, anything to block the emotion threatening to consume him. Her thumbs slipped back and forth over his stomach and he found himself smiling. It did feel nice. Maybe he was being unfair to April, by not giving her a legitimate chance. They would never amount to anything if he always compared her to Jessie. As he sped away from his cousin, he vowed to not think about her anymore this evening. It was the least he could do for April.

  When they arrived at Red Rocks Amphitheater, Kai couldn’t stop smiling. It was the most incredible blending of man and nature. It was sort of the epitome of everything that he believed – that people could live in harmony with the world, instead of trying to conquer it. For a moment, it took his breath.

  Rows and rows of seats were carved into the hillside, directly between the largest, reddest rocks that Kai had ever seen. They proudly jutted out of the ground, commanding attention and respect. The stage was set up at the bottom of the sloping steps, and Kai had to imagine, what with the angles of the rocks and steps, that the acoustics in this place were probably amazing. He’d love to see a show here.

  April stood beside him, frowning as she pulled out her ponytail and ran her fingers through her hair. Glancing at her, Kai could tell she wasn’t as impressed by the locale as he was. Maybe she’d just been here a lot. She sighed. “All the way up there?”

  Kai followed her line of sight. She did have a point; the steps were quite a ways from the parking area. He shrugged, taking off his helmet and grabbing her hand. “At least we’ll be nice and warm when we get there.”

  She glanced over at him and he could have sworn she was resisting rolling her eyes. Slapping on a smile, she tugged him forward. “Let’s go then.”

  By the time they got to the steps, Kai felt nice and heated, even a little breathy as the exertion mixed with the high altitude. But he didn’t care, the place was amazing. He couldn’t get over the beauty of it. The sparse trees, the dusty stone steps, the towering rock monoliths, it all made him feel about an inch tall.

  He smiled over at April. She was breathing heavier too, and didn’t look so happy about it. She swatted at a bug flying around her face and then sighed when she looked at the dusty stone steps they were going to be sitting down on. As Kai watched her obviously unimpressed face, he couldn’t help but think that he was failing miserably at this date.

  Suppressing a sigh, he opened his bag and pulled out the thin blanket that he’d stuffed inside. It wouldn’t do much for padding, but it would keep the dust off April’s clothes. He laid it out on a wide path between two sets of carved benches. April gave him a polite smile and sat down on her hip. She shifted a few times to get comfortable, then watched him as he sat down and began pulling various objects from his bag.

  Not really knowing a whole lot about picnic-packing, Kai had listened to Louis’s suggestions. Of course, Louis was into much more exotic type foods than Kai, and had wanted him to pack caviar, escargot, and foie gras. Kai had decided to not go that route and had instead packed cold pasta, chicken salad, cheese and crackers, strawberries, and a red wine that complimented it all. It had sounded pretty good to him, and Jessie had nodded at hearing it, but watching April’s face as he pulled out the food, he suddenly got the feeling that she would have preferred the snails.

  Keeping a tight smile on her face, she immediately grabbed the bottle of wine. Kai wanted to sigh again, but instead began a polite conversation with her.

  The date went a little slowly for Kai. Not that he wasn’t having a good time with April, he was, kind of, but she was clearly not an outdoorsy girl and was not having the best evening. She kept her thick coat on and looked a little disappointed that she was covered up. Kai remembered her tight long-sleeved shirts and thought that April was probably more comfortable when she had her body to flirt with. Being bundled up was probably hampering her seductiveness. Constantly swishing away bugs and other minute creatures that Kai didn’t even notice, she picked at her food with her plastic fork on her paper plate. Kai suddenly felt really bad for not going the cliché route. She obviously would have preferred a high-class restaurant.

  But if she was having a bad time, she didn’t complain about it. Kai had to give her credit. She kept up a nice stream of conversation, most of it about her and the struggles between her and her parents. Unlike the relationship Kai had with his parents, hers seemed to continually disapprove of her life and her choices. Kai didn’t have much to add to the conversation, since he and his parents had almost everything in common. But for the fact that his parents were no longer married, and outside of work generally didn’t talk much, Kai’s family was a pretty harmonious one. Well, was, before his dad had gotten so odd lately. Not cold, but definitely distant, like he was waiting for something…unpleasant to happen.

  By the end of the meal, they were sitting close together on the horribly thin blanket, their legs stretched out in front of them and a plastic glass of wine in hand. April leaned into his side and laughed at a joke he’d made. He wasn’t sure if she was laughing to flirt or laughing because she thought he was funny. Aside from being attracted to him, Kai was never entirely sure what April thought of him.

  Finishing her glass of wine, a pleasant rosy glow on her cheeks, she looked up at Kai. He looked down at her, the last gulp of his wine flowing down his throat. She stared at him silently as she grabbed his glass and placed it inside of hers. Oddly enough, she made that simple move suggestive. Kai swallowed and watched her blindly set the glasses on the step above them.

  Still staring at him, her gaze locked on his eyes. Kai could clearly see what she wanted, what she expected, and he wasn’t sure if he could. She had kissed him before, briefly, and he’d responded to that, but a part of him didn’t want this, and if he leaned down to her lips, if he initiated the contact…

  Kai just didn’t know if he was capabl
e of that yet.

  They stared at each other, their faces tantalizingly close, her warm breath light on his cool-in-the-fresh-air face. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, contemplating. April’s eyes caught the movement and seemed to approve. Perhaps tired of waiting for him, she finally made a move. Before Kai could even get nervous about it, her lips were on his. She skipped right past the shy and tentative stage and fully pressed herself against him. He didn’t want to, but she tasted good and smelled good, and felt good, and he couldn’t stop himself. His hand reached up to cup her neck and he pulled her into him.

  She let out an eager moan as their tongues lightly brushed against the other. Kai’s body reacted to that, even though he sort of wished it wouldn’t. April, finally seeming to enjoy her evening, ran her hands through his hair, tilting his head to get a better angle at him. His breath picked up as her tongue flicked across his mouth, searching, teasing, tasting.

  Leaning backwards, she pulled Kai with her. Against his better judgment, he went willingly. She lay down on the ground, her body half off the blanket, but now that they were intimately connecting she didn’t seem to mind the dust. She groaned as Kai’s upper body laid over hers. Their kiss heated as Kai ran his hand down her side to rest on her hip. The lower halves of their bodies were still laying side-by-side, hers flat to the ground. It was a position that would be so easy for Kai to crawl on top of and press himself against. But as his mouth moved over hers, he consciously kept his hips away from her. He wasn’t ready. Honestly, he wasn’t really ready for her hands running up his chest and her tongue probing his mouth, but she wanted him and she was being aggressive about it, and Kai sort of had a weakness for that.

  But he wouldn’t let it go any farther. And he wouldn’t think of Jessie as April’s fingers trailed across the edge of his tattoo curling over his collar bone. He would not think of his cousin while he made out with her roommate. That would just be…wrong.

  Chapter 14

  The Second Date

  Jessie felt sick again. She was discretely holding her stomach under the kitchen table, a fake, forced smile on her face as she listened to April describe her date with Kai last night. The date itself sounded like it hadn’t gone very well. April hadn’t liked the hair that she’d spent thirty minutes on getting all out of sorts from the helmet. She hadn’t enjoyed the long, exertive hike up to Red Rocks; with a half-grin she’d explained that there was really only one reason why she’d want to be sweaty with a guy on a date. And she really hadn’t been impressed with the food options. She’d sort of been hoping for lobster and a snooty waiter, and hadn’t been too thrilled about a freezing butt, too many bugs to count, and what she considered “camping food.” Personally, Jessie thought she was being a little prissy about the whole thing. It sounded perfectly romantic to her.

  But the part of the night that April had liked, the part that she could not stop talking to Jessie and Harmony about, was the part that was making Jessie nauseous. They’d kissed. And much more than just the peck Jessie had already witnessed. From the way April told it, he’d had her sprawled on the stone steps, panting with desire, and had practically shoved his tongue down her throat. She went on and on about how he couldn’t plan a date worth a crap, but he could definitely make up for it with his mouth.

  April couldn’t wait to see him again.

  Jessie couldn’t wait until she could be alone in her room; she had some pent-up tears that needed releasing.

  She’d thought watching him leave with April would be the hardest part of all of this. It had ripped her to shreds, watching that bike pull away. But this? Hearing April describe images that haunted Jessie’s dreams? It was almost too much to bear. She had no idea what she’d say or do the next time she saw him. She was anxious about it, nervous and impatient. She wanted to tell him to not see April anymore, to demand that she had to be the only woman in his life.

  But she couldn’t do that do him. What life would that be, for either of them? Living out some twisted, we can’t have each other, but we can’t let each other have anyone else, future. It sounded lonely to Jessie. Lonely and painful. But so was watching him fly away with April. Maybe Jessie should start seeing someone too. She just had absolutely no desire to see anyone. Anyone but Kai, that was.

  But she couldn’t have Kai and they both needed to move on.

  Interrupting April’s hundredth repeating of making out with him, Jessie stood and set her cereal bowl in the sink. Faking nonchalance, she tossed over her shoulder, “I’m glad you guys had an okay time, April. I’m gonna head over to Gram’s, see if she needs anything. Catch you guys later.”

  As she walked past the two of them still giggling at the table, she heard April brightly exclaim, “Have fun…how soon do you think I can call Kai?”

  Closing her eyes, Jessie didn’t answer her roommate. Clenching them tight, tears stinging as her stomach roiled, she tried to let it go. It was right, it was natural. Unlike her and her cousin, Kai and April made sense together.

  Her stomach finally felt better…until she pulled into her grandmother’s driveway. She sat in the drive with her truck idling, staring over at Kai’s bike in the spot right next to her. He was here. If she went inside, she’d have to see him post-date. Would he look different? Would he look like he’d been bitten by the love bug? Would he want to tell her all about it? Jessie had a hard enough time listening to an oblivious April; she wasn’t sure if she could handle talking to Kai about it.

  Sighing, she shut the truck off. She wasn’t here for Kai. She was here to take care of Grams. And Kai was a decent guy. He wouldn’t bring up something that would potentially hurt her like that. Well, he may want to make sure Jessie was okay with it, but he certainly wouldn’t break it down into as much detail as April had. Besides, she couldn’t hide from him forever. They were family, and family didn’t abandon each other. Plus, she’d been sitting in the driveway for awhile now; she was pretty certain that she’d already been spotted.

  Stepping out of the truck, she ran a hand through her curls. Exhaling a long breath, she prepared to see the man who occupied so much of her mind…and her heart.

  Jessie opened the front door and walked through like she lived there. Grams insisted that family didn’t have to knock. She didn’t see them and couldn’t hear them, but she knew that they were both in here somewhere. “Hello?” she tried tentatively.

  When no one answered her, she realized that they were probably outback, in Gram’s greenhouse. Walking into the kitchen, she stepped through the sunshine filled room. The bright yellow walls added to the cheeriness of the room, but not her mood. Peering out the lace-curtained window, she could see the opaque greenhouse in the back corner of Gram’s yard. Inside, she could easily make out two shadowy shapes - a short, frail one and a tall, lean one. She sighed; even his shadow was appealing.

  Her stomach starting to buzz with nerves, she turned around and considered leaving. If they were tucked away in the greenhouse then they probably hadn’t heard her truck pull in. She could slip out and drive away and they’d be none the wiser. Then Jessie could come back when Kai left.

  She took a step then paused, hating that she was sort of fleeing from her cousin. This was her idea. How did she think it was going to feel when he started seeing someone? And not just anyone either, but her roommate, one of her best friends. A best friend that was chatty, and liked to delve into the TMI zone all too often. And now her two-much-information involved a man with such warmth, graciousness, and kindly spirit, not to mention the most incredible set of tropical eyes, that it made Jessie’s heart ache.

  “Jessie?”

  Turning at the sound of her name, she came face to face with those amazing eyes again. Kai was coming through the back door, his brow furrowed as he watched her. Jessie flushed, wondering how long she’d been standing still, debating if she should leave or not. The butterflies in her stomach flew up to her lungs and she found her breath increasing with her nerves.

  Titling his head, Kai quickly
glanced back at where Grams was still poking around in the greenhouse. Softly closing the door, he walked up to her in the middle of the kitchen. “What were you doing?”

  Jessie exhaled softly, her breath coming out stuttered as she couldn’t quite relax. Thinking about how to avoid seeing you. She thought that, but couldn’t say it to his face. Smiling awkwardly, she hated the tension that she could feel building between them. But all she could see when she looked at him was April’s lips touching his. “I was just wondering where the two of you were.”

  Kai stepped in front of her. Looking down at her tense body, he sighed. “April told you, didn’t she?” Jessie felt the tears reappear and looked away. Why did he have to bring it up? She was willing to at least pretend she was ignorant. He sighed again, forlornly, and his finger touched the edge of her jaw, turning her chin back to him. “Jessie…I’m so sorry. Did she tell you everything?” he whispered, his eyes as achingly sad as his voice.

  Jessie could only nod. His finger on her face burned through her body and she hated it. Hated how much he still electrified her, how much she still wanted to be in his arms. At any given point in the day, Kai’s arms were where she wanted to be…and that wasn’t helping anything.