“Aloha, Jessie,” she said warmly.
Jessie smiled warmly back. While Jessie’s Uncle had some reservations about their being together, Kai’s mother didn’t appear to. Once the initial shock had worn off, she’d accepted Jessie with open arms, even giving Kai and Jessie space to…connect. Jessie had a sneaking suspicion that it was mainly because she’d do anything to win back Kai’s devotion, but Jessie wasn’t about to call the woman out for it.
“Aloha, Leilani.”
As Kai stepped out of the car, he gave his mother a brief hug. Wrapping her arms securely around his waist, she gazed up at him, longing and hope clear in her eyes; she so wanted Kai to truly forgive her. “Mason tells me that your flight back is early in the morning tomorrow. I’ll drive you to the airport, sweetheart.”
Kai blinked as he loosely held her back. “You talked with Mason?”
Leilani flushed and turned her head away from Kai. Jessie could tell that she felt guilty for even bringing him up. She could also tell that she still had feelings for the man. It was pretty evident by the way she said his name; it reminded Jessie of the way she often said Kai’s name. “Uh, yes…we…keep in touch.” She looked back at him, her eyes clearly seeing the man she’d once loved in the son before her. “He’s been worried about you. He calls in nightly to check up on you.”
Kai looked away, towards the beach. Jessie had been with Kai when he’d called Mason to tell the man that they’d landed safely. It had sort of surprised Jessie that he’d done that. It sort of amazed her that he’d be so considerate to a man he barely knew. Of course, a lot of things about Kai amazed Jessie. And a lot of things about Mason seemed to amaze Kai. Shaking his head as he watched the surf, he muttered, “I’m surprised he does that.”
Leilani squeezed him tight, resting her head on his shoulder. Kai reflexively hugged her shoulder into him. “Of course he does, Kai. He loves you. You’re his son…even if he just found out about you.”
Kai closed his eyes, his head dropping a little. Jessie saw the weariness in his face, and not from their morning on the waves. All of this turmoil was getting to him. Jessie couldn’t wait to take him back home, settle him in her bed, and massage away all the kinks in his body, if not his heart. His heart…she could work on.
Kai opened his eyes and started walking towards his mother’s home. He had a childhood room here too and Jessie had marveled at just how similar it was to the room she’d had at her parents’ place. They’d even shared the same interest in music, both having Beatles posters on their walls.
Sighing, Kai rested his head on his mother’s as they shifted to walk towards the water. “Why didn’t you tell me, Mom? Before I went over there?”
Leilani paused in her step, ducking her head out to look up at him. “I’m sorry, Kai.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t see how you could possibly find out…and not hate me.” Her eyes watered drastically as she looked at him. “And you…are the most important thing I have. I couldn’t risk losing you.”
Kai sighed and squeezed her tight. “You’re not going to lose me, Mom. I love you…regardless.”
Leilani couldn’t stop the tears and hastily brushed them from her cheeks. “Well, Nathan insisted that you know the truth and then insisted that I contact Mason, to get you a job there with him.” She sighed and looked away, towards the beach, just like Kai had. It seemed to be a natural relaxant for the both of them. “I’ve been tense every day, wondering when I’d call and you’d hate me. Wondering what day Nathan would finally get his revenge on me for betraying him.” She sighed, a little contemptuously.
Kai stopped and twisted her to look at him. “He doesn’t want revenge on you. He didn’t want to hurt you. He wanted…” he paused, his eyes drifting back to Jessie, “he just didn’t want to keep living with a lie. He wanted the truth released, so he could be free.” Smiling, his eyes turned back to Leilani’s. “So we could all be free.”
Knowing Kai meant their relationship just as much his parents’ relationship, tears sprang to Jessie’s eyes. They’d been living a lie too. They’d been trying to deny the feelings between them. They’d been trying to label it as familial love, when it had been so far beyond that. The truth had released them from that lie, just as surely as it had released Kai’s parents. Uncle Nathan was right…truth mattered.
Kai and his mother spent a good chunk of the rest of that afternoon opening up to each other. Much to Jessie’s surprise, Kai even told her about how the two of them had first hooked up. He, thankfully, didn’t mention the one night stand, but he confessed that their attraction had started while they’d both thought they were related. Sitting on the perfectly golden sand, Jessie twisted to look over at Leilani sitting next to her son. His mother eyed Jessie warmly, compassionately, like she understood being in a hard space, and Jessie supposed that she did.
“That must have been very difficult,” her hand came up to rest on Kai’s knee, “for both of you.”
Kai looked down on her, nodding, then over to Jessie, sitting so close beside him that their hips touched. She couldn’t help the lack of space between them; she just needed his body to be touching hers.
Leaning down to kiss Jessie’s head, Kai muttered, “Yeah, yeah it was…” Looking back at Leilani, he slung his arm around her shoulders. “But we’re good now, Mom. Really good, and even though this has been really hard to deal with…you and dad and Mason…I’m okay.” He looked back at Jessie, his eyes putting the ocean to shame with their beauty. “I’m great…because of Jessie.”
Jessie felt her entire body flush at his words, felt her heart quicken. His words, in and out of the bedroom, always had such a strong effect on her. She hoped that never faded.
Leilani’s wistful sigh pulled both of their attentions back to her. Her face happy, but reluctant, she shook her head. “You’re going to stay in Denver, aren’t you?”
Kai tilted his head and sighed too. “I’ll visit as often as I can…and you can always call me.” He grinned and laughed. “Even at four in the morning.”
Leilani laughed too, then slung her arms around his neck. “I love you, Kai. I’m very proud of the man that you’ve become.”
Kai hugged her back, just as tight. “I love you too, Mom.” When they pulled away from each other, he gave her a crooked smile. “At least that is one part of my life that didn’t change…you’re still my mother.” Leilani smiled brilliantly, her eyes misting. Kai watched her reaction for a second then pulled farther away from her. “You are really my mom, right?” He barely got the question out before he started laughing.
Leilani gasped and smacked his shoulder before hugging him tight again. “Yes, I’m your mother!” After their laughter, all three of them enjoying a moment of levity, Leilani smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’ll miss you, Kai.”
Exhaling softly, he rested his head on hers. “I’ll miss you too, mom.” Chuckling, he raised his head. “But look on the bright side,” he flicked a quick glance at Jessie before swinging his eyes back to his mother, “maybe you’ll get some grandkids soon?”
Jessie’s eyes widened as Leilani squealed and reached across her son to embrace her. Jessie glared at him, but he only laughed. Now that his mother had fully accepted them, and he’d just thrown open the door, the baby talk was surely going to flow through it. Jessie sighed inwardly as she patted the eager woman’s back. She was sure a pair of handmade booties was in her near future.
Chapter 26
A Future Together
The plane ride away from Hawaii was a completely different experience for Kai than the ride over. He was completely relaxed by Jessie’s side as they leaned back in their first class seats. He felt a lingering ripple of the bittersweet happiness that had flooded through him while saying goodbye to his parents at the airport. He’d eventually come to terms with what both parent had done to him. And truly, they had hurt themselves as much as they’d hurt him, maybe more.
His mother especially. At the
gate, she had squeezed Jessie so tight that Kai had clearly seen the strain in his girlfriend’s face. “It was so nice to meet you, Jessie. Take care of my son.”
Jessie had flicked her eyes to Kai, a soft smile on her lips. “I will.”
Before Kai could even return Jessie’s warm smile, his mother had turned and engulfed him in a vice-like hug. “I’ll call you every chance I get.” Pulling back, she smiled up at him and patted his arm. “Now hurry up and get to work on that grandbaby.”
Remembering the look of excitement on his mother’s face as she thought about the child she felt he’d promised her, Kai shook his head. His mother had certainly made her fair share of mistakes, but in her heart she was a good person, and he loved her and had made peace with her. She was his reason for being anyway.
She had finally stopped repeatedly asking for his absolution, but he could see the regret in her eyes whenever she looked at him, whenever she looked at Nathan. She regretted hurting two men that she’d deeply cared for. Kai was positive that he didn’t ever want to go through what she’d gone through. He didn’t ever want his heart torn between two people. Yet another reason he was grateful that he could be with Jessie. She filled every part of him, satisfied every desire. He couldn’t even comprehend not being completely faithful to her. Just the idea of it, made him nauseous. She had his heart, every single corner of it, and he was one hundred percent positive that the feeling was equally reciprocated.
His mother’s last words to him had been warm and sweet, like the mom he knew her to be. “I love you so much, Kai. I’ll miss you every day.” Shrugging as they pulled apart, she’d added, “Who knows, maybe I’ll fly over and visit. I wouldn’t mind seeing…Denver.”
The small smile on her face had seemed nostalgic, and Kai was certain a visit from her would include a visit to Kai’s biological father as well. Kai was okay with that. His mother had been alone a long time. Mason too, actually. Despite the havoc they’d caused, the two deserved their shot at happiness.
As the perky flight attendant refilled his orange juice, Kai shifted his thoughts to saying goodbye to his father, Nathan. It had felt much like when he’d arrived in Hawaii, just as intense, just for different reasons. Then, Kai had been hurt and confused, but love had ultimately led him to forgiveness. But parting with him had been just as draining.
Once his mother had backed off a respectful distance, his father had stepped forward. Smiling softly at Kai, he’d shaken his head. “I’ll miss you, son. “ Lifting a brow he’d added in a choked voice, “I know you’ll do great things at the center with Mason. After all, you’re a Harper,” he shrugged, “in spirit at least.”
Feeling an almost desperate need to let him know that he’d always be his son, Kai had thrown his arms around his father, cinching him tight. “I am your son. I’ll always be your son…always.”
He’d kept repeating it to him over and over. Kai wasn’t sure why at the time, and wished he’d been able to stop, since he’d managed to bring his father to tears, but as he sipped his juice he thought he finally understood. Kai hadn’t been assuring his father, he’d been trying to assure himself.
A piece of Kai, a piece that he didn’t like to look at, was afraid that the man who’d raised him…would abandon him. Kai‘s logical brain immediately discounted the idea. After all, if that were going to happen, it would have happened when Kai was a teenager. If Nathan Harper had been going to turn his back on him, like he had his marriage, he would have done it years ago, when Kai was young. But the logical brain doesn’t always win out, and it was still there…a lingering worry bubbling to the surface.
Kai supposed that no matter how old you get, the fear of being abandoned, of being rejected by those you love the most, was always tucked away into some dark, tragic corner of the soul, where all childhood fears reside. Most people spent every day ignoring those fears, discounting them as readily as they discounted the boogie man and the monster under the bed. But when they slipped out, when they found a chink in the armor of who you were, like a noxious, poisonous weed, they took hold.
Kai swallowed his drink and shook his head. Rolling his eyes at his own dramatic inner monologue, he glanced over at Jessie. She was also reclining in her seat, her eyes closed, her face relaxed. To Kai, she looked a little tired, but that was expected after the ups and downs they’d had this past week. Clutching her hand, he smiled that at least things would mellow out from here. Jessie didn’t open her eyes, but she smiled wider at feeling his skin against hers. She liked being close to him; he loved that about her.
Glancing down her body, his eyes rested on her flat stomach. Smiling, he imagined filling that stomach with a child one day…his child. While the thought had once disgusted him, it warmed him now. Kai had always pictured himself with children in the future, he’d just never been sure who he’d have them with. He was sure now. While he’d mainly been joking when he’d mentioned it to his mother, it was something he wanted, something he wanted with Jessie. Maybe not right away, but someday.
Bringing her left hand to his lips, he also imagined placing a ring on her finger. He wanted that too. Now that the option was open to him, it was really all he could think about. They still needed to break the news to her parents, since they were still under the impression that Kai was a cousin, but after everything that Kai had been through lately, he felt sure that they could do it.
Jessie looked over at him as his lips rubbed back and forth over the finger he so wanted to encircle. Her dark eyes swept over his features. “What are you thinking about?” she asked softly.
His gaze lingered on those luscious lips for a second before he answered. Biting back a smile, he shook his head. “I was just thinking that it’s legal for first cousins to get married in Hawaii.”
Her eyes widened and she half grinned. “I see…that’s interesting that you know that.”
She raised an eyebrow at him and Kai chuckled. “Yeah, well, I had good reason to look it up.”
Jessie laughed then tilted her head. Sighing contently, she cupped his face with her free hand. “You see us getting married one day?”
Kai closed his eyes, leaning into her hand. “Yes.” Opening them, he watched color fill her cheeks. “Don’t you?”
She bit her lip then nodded. “Yeah…someday.”
He smiled then rested his head against hers. “I know that legally we are probably still cousins. If we want to have a marriage without all the…complications in it, there are probably a ton of hoops we’ll have to go through. I don’t know what, we may need legal help to prove that we’re not related. Maybe it’s as easy as having my birth certificate changed to show that Nathan Harper isn’t biologically my father?”
Kai shook his head, their noses brushing together. “I kind of hate that thought, but I would gladly do it…to freely be your husband. But, really, regardless of the obstacles, I want that future with you.”
He pulled back to look at her, her eyes wet with tears. Moving her hand from his face, he clenched it. “I love you, Jessie…always.”
She sighed then shook her head. “I love you too.”
They leaned in for a series of light, soft kisses that made Kai feel just a touch dizzy. Pulling back, Jessie raised an eyebrow at him. “Most of our family will still think that we’re related.”
Kai shrugged, not caring anymore. “Let them. We know the truth. Besides, it’s just the multitude of aunts, uncles, and cousins that we never see anyway. We only ever hear about them in Gran’s Christmas letter.” Kissing her softly, he smiled. “Our close family will know the truth, and they’ll accept us, because they love us.”
“We’ll need to stop referring to ourselves as cousins around other people…this might freak them out,” she murmured against his lips, her hand running back through his hair.
Kai laughed once, deep in his throat. “It will just be our little inside joke.” Jessie giggled, and laughing with her, Kai returned himself to where he most wanted to be in this world…her lips.
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nbsp; Once the plane landed and they were back in the city that Kai felt nearly as fond of as the one he’d left behind, Kai once again felt direction in his life. It was a comfort that he drew strength from. He would remain here and work with his father, learning from the man who he academically strived to be. He would help Jessie take care of their mutual grandmother, keeping her strong, healthy, and independent for as long as they both could. And he and Jessie…they would share every aspect of their lives with each other, and he would be the best boyfriend, lover, and friend that Jessie could ever dream of having. Kai would make her forget that any other man had ever existed before him.
Smiling as they exited the airport, his arm wrapped securely around her trim waist, Kai finally felt like his future was one that wasn’t filled with longing and pain. He was going to have everything he’d ever wanted, with the girl he’d always dreamt of having.
Immersed in those thoughts as they got in Jessie’s truck, he startled when his phone started ringing. He’d charged it back up before leaving for his impromptu trip, but no one had called him in days. As the melody to a disastrously sappy song started pouring out of his phone, he sighed and rolled his eyes.
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