by Elena Gray
Roark’s chest rumbled beneath me, his growl low and deep in my ear. “You aren’t useless. You fought against the undead, saved Jax from giving in to his dark side, connected us with Samara’s spirit, and found Slade.”
“But I didn’t find him. I wasn’t there long enough to figure out where he is.”
“You’ve given us hope.” The warmth of Jax’s hand on my leg comforted me. His soothing energy pulsed through our bond. “We thought our brother was dead, but now we know he’s alive.”
“Do you feel your bond with him now?” Samara asked.
I focused on each thread tying me to my guardians. Jax’s continued to calm me, Roark’s provided strength, and Quinn’s expressed concern. I pressed my hand against my abdomen, searching for Slade’s. Something fluttered in my core. It was so faint I would have missed it if I hadn’t known what I was looking for. Despair trickled through. “He’s there. I can barely feel him, but he’s there.”
“Hold on to that connection and don’t let it go,” Samara advised. “Through you, Roark, Quinn, and Jax can help strengthen it. Maybe there is a way that you can use the bond to help heal him. Whatever happened to him has hindered his healing. It has to be his soul. If he’s shattered, he’s incomplete. I’ll see if I can get some answers from the ancestors.”
“Thank you, Samara.” I released a deep breath and tried to think clearly. “I’ll talk to my uncle and see if he’s discovered anything new.” I also needed to know if there were any other talents that came with being a reaper. My new job required me to guide souls to the underworld. If part of Slade’s soul went missing, shouldn’t it be signaling a reaper? Maybe there was some sort of reaper handbook that my uncle could give me. I needed a quick guide on what the hell I was supposed to be doing.
“Get some rest and I’ll check back in if I find something.” With a wave of her hand, Samara disappeared, leaving me alone with my guardians.
An awkward silence blanketed the room. I nervously plucked at the hem of my shirt, unsure what to say. It was moments like this when resisting them became the hardest. All I wanted was someone to comfort me. I wanted the feel of arms around me, holding me close, telling me not to worry, providing me with comfort I couldn’t find myself.
Unable to take the quiet any longer I said, “So, um...should we get busy now?”
Roark’s body tensed. I glanced up to find three heated gazes focused on me. It took me a minute to realize what had them frozen in place. They thought I was talking about sex. The bulge beneath my backside confirmed it.
The image of their hands and mouths on my body had me biting my lip. This whole situation was insane. I’d never wanted a relationship with more than one man. Not even in college when my boyfriend suggested his friend join in. I wasn’t a prude when it came to sex, but a ménage was out of my league. Yet, here I was fantasizing about three men.
So what had changed?
The bond connecting us tightened and throbbed in response to my question. What little energy I had left was used to suppress the moan that was about to embarrass me. If what I sensed was true, each of them shared my desire, even if they wouldn’t admit it. The question was, would they all follow through?
Roark’s fingers flexed on my hips when I tried to shift my position. I didn’t mind the rock-hard erection poking me, but I wasn’t going to tease myself if it was staying in his pants.
Clearing my throat, I gazed at the ground, unable to meet their eyes. I wasn’t able to handle the rejection I knew was coming, so I felt the need to clarify. “By get busy, I meant training.”
I made the mistake of looking at them again. They continued to stare at me for what seemed like an eternity. The heat from their eyes sent a flush over my body. Maybe they’d finally decided to break their stupid oath to not fall in love with me.
“Right now, you need to get your strength back,” Quinn said.
I should have known they wouldn’t give in. They were all too damn stubborn for their own good. It looked like I’d have to take care of myself later.
Clueless as to what was going on in my head, Quinn continued, “I’ll go talk to your uncle. He might be able to give me some tips to help accelerate your training. Be proud of what you accomplished today, Katarina. You did the one thing none of us have been able to do. You found Slade.”
He grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. My breath caught in my chest. I wanted more. So much more.
Kissing the back of my hand, Quinn nodded to Roark and Jax before leaving the room.
My eyes filled with tears. How could I be frustrated with him after his kind words? Now I knew why I’d never wanted more than one man before now. The rollercoaster of emotions was exhausting.
Jax ran a hand through his auburn hair. “I can start training you tomorrow. We can work on some basic magic.”
“Are you sure? What about your dark magic?”
“The basics will be fine. Besides, we can test your grandmother’s theory that you balance the darkness inside of me.”
I flushed at the reminder of my grandmother’s appraisal of my guardians. Forever the matchmaker, she had it in her head that we were all fated to be together. I guessed she missed the part about their damn oath.
Roark grunted, then said something to Jax. It was hard to focus on what they were saying when Roark’s arousal was still pressed against me. The devious side of me wanted to punish him by wiggling my ass against him. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that we all needed to work together. No matter how strong the sexual tension between us was, we had a mission. We had to find Slade.
Before I could tune back into their conversation, Roark lifted me off the sofa and deposited me into his vacant spot. Based on how hard he clenched his jaw, their conversation couldn’t have been good. And I’d missed the whole thing.
“You need to stop this now, Jax. You know it won’t end well.” He glanced at me, then stormed out of the room. For a moment, I could swear there was pain in his eyes.
Jax eased his arm around me and pulled me into his side. I yawned as I snuggled closer, letting the warmth from his body relax me.
“I know that the tension between us is wearing on you,” Jax said. “This is confusing for all of us. But we’ll find a way to make this work. Once we bring Slade home, we’ll go back to finding a way to release your magic. Don’t give up on Roark just yet.”
“I think he’s the one who has given up. He runs hot one minute and cold the next. I don’t know why he hates me so much.”
Jax placed a kiss on my head. “He doesn’t hate you. Not even close. He has the same worries we all have—that we’ll fail you like we did Samara.”
I shifted in his arms and clasped his face in my hands. I searched his eyes, making sure that the emerald green hadn’t turned black. “Don’t ever say that again! Samara made her own choices and she accepted responsibility for them. She holds no blame against any of you. Slade nearly lost his life for her and is now being tortured. I won’t lose you again to your pain.”
My chest rose and fell as I continued to cradle his face. His gaze fell to my lips. He leaned in and I held my breath, afraid if I moved, I would break the spell.
When his lips met mine, I slid my hands into his hair and deepened the kiss. Everything about this moment felt right.
Our connection had been different since that night in the bar. Whenever he was near, he felt the need to touch me. It could be something as simple as pressing his hand into the small of my back as he guided me into a room, or brushing his hand against mine when we were sitting next to each other.
So, why did he kiss me now? It’s not like he needed me to pull him back from the darkness. Didn’t he believe in the same oath as Quinn and Roark?
I was opening myself up to heartache by letting Jax get closer. I was falling for him and in the end, if he rejected me, I didn’t think I would recover.
He pulled back and rubbed his thumb over my swollen lip. “We’ll make it work, Kat. I promise. Now
close your eyes and get some sleep. We have a long day ahead tomorrow.”
I tucked my head under his chin and closed my eyes. I would do whatever it took to make sure we could all be together. No matter the price.
Chapter 3
~Jax~
My sword clanked against Kat’s, just above her head, as she struggled to hold her ground and force me back. Sand flew around us when she twisted and spun to block my aggressive strikes. It was my goal to make her feel endangered so her adrenaline would kick in and she’d have enough stamina to take me down. After an hour of training, it didn’t appear to be helping.
The breeze coming off the ocean swept over my body, cooling the sweat on my skin. The beach was situated below our house on the Stone Isles and provided us enough privacy to work on Kat’s combat training.
When we first arrived, she expressed concern over Roark and Quinn seeing me hand her ass to her repeatedly. I tried to explain that they were just as concerned for her welfare as I was, but nothing I said alleviated her insecurity. Instead, I had my brothers swear that they would not enter the beach until Katarina was ready for an audience.
I swung my sword in a one-eighty and stopped an inch from her ribs. Strands of raven hair wavered near her big brown eyes with each labored breath, but nothing decreased their intensity. By now, she should know I’d never hurt her.
At least I hoped she knew. Judging by the scowl she gave me, she was pissed at how far I’d taken things.
“You’re not focusing, Kat,” I smirked and leaned closer to her face. When I unfolded my wings and supported her back, she didn’t seem to notice. “If I were an assailant, you’d be dead. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”
My words had her brushing my wing aside and stepping back. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at the sand. I didn’t like the silence that formed between us, and I knew exactly who caused it. Roark.
This was about my brother. He had Katarina convinced that none of us could have a romantic relationship with our ward. Fucking idiot. Roark and I needed to have a long talk.
Kat huffed loudly as she rubbed her face then glanced at me. “Don’t worry, Jax.” She pointed toward the mound of rocks near the water, where she’d left the dagger her uncle gave her. “That’s why I have Soul Seeker for protection, not some dull, century-old sword.”
When she drove the weapon into the sand, I remained silent, unsure how to proceed. She was upset, which meant I had to figure out a way to lighten her mood. However, I was clueless about where to start. Come to think of it, I had a better chance of convincing the council to allow humans in the Pararealm. Kat sure had a stubborn streak in her. It was the part of her that reminded me of Samara and the reason that she and Roark kept butting heads.
I gripped her chin and tipped it higher until she met my eyes. “I have no doubt that you can inflict the wrath of Hades himself with your special little dagger. The thing is, it’s possible to lose control of your weapon. You never know when you might be separated from Soul Seeker and need to defend yourself with something else.”
“You’re right.” Kat slumped her shoulders and released a deep breath. “I’m sorry I keep losing focus. It’s hard to concentrate sometimes.”
I wanted to press further and ask what was troubling her. She would feel better if she talked about it.
Instead of opening up to me, she stared into the distance. Whether she knew it or not, I wasn’t on my game today, either. She made it difficult for me to think about anything but her. It wasn’t just the sight of her body or the longing that burned in her eyes. It was the bond between us, the way it pulsed in a steady rhythm of desire. It tugged at me again, forcing me to step closer.
Not once in my life had I been drawn to someone to the point that I felt I would erupt if I didn’t touch them. Now, it was happening with Kat. I wasn’t alone in my feelings. I knew for a fact that Roark, despite his honorable intentions, wanted Kat as much as I did. Quinn too. Once Slade returned, I was sure he’d feel the same. The brief, heart-wrenching moment they’d shared last night had proven it.
I yanked Kat’s practice sword from the sand and carried it, with my sword, toward the same group of rocks where she’d placed Soul Seeker. When I returned to the center of the beach, I reached for her hands. Without hesitation, she offered them to me, and I couldn’t help but notice the spark of hope in her eyes. I was tempted to kiss her the way she wanted, the way she deserved, but I wasn’t sure if she was in the right frame of mind. Instead, I flipped over her hands, palm side up.
“These can be weapons too, Kat.”
I thumbed over her palms and massaged them. Our bond pulsed in a steady rhythm, even though she hadn’t looked at me. The nerves in my body came to life when she finally did. It took everything in me not to react to the desire coalescing through me. Before I caved, I quickly changed the subject.
“You up for a little hand to hand combat?” It seemed the simplest solution. I could still touch her as much as I wanted while training her at the same time. The plan would be perfect as long as I kept my shit together.
When Kat nodded, I noticed her cheeks flush. Was it possible that she was having the same thoughts? I couldn’t help but smile as I scanned her body, lingering where her shirt pulled tight across her breasts.
My groan of approval slipped out. The increased tempo of our bond made my blunder worth it. “Damn, girl. You’re making it hard.”
She raised a taunting brow. “What’s hard? The situation or you?”
Laughter erupted from my chest as I took a step back and released her hands. “Both.”
When I realized her mind had drifted again, I seized the opportunity to restart our training session. I lunged at her, hoping she’d see me and block my approach.
Right on cue, she sidestepped me and spun. When I advanced in her direction again, she extended her leg and kicked me in the abs.
I grunted as I stumbled back in surprise. Kat covered her mouth and her eyes widened, hinting at her distress. She thought she’d hurt me.
Her hesitance provided me the perfect opportunity to teach her a lesson. When I turned, I grabbed her thigh, dragging her to the ground. We both fell against the sand, but I didn’t give her time to react. Years of training taught me one thing about fighting. Never go idle.
Before she could move, I made it to my knees and jerked her body toward me. Straddling her, I pinned both her hands above her head. When those big doe eyes of hers locked with mine, I held my breath. Our bond throbbed with need. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.
I glanced at her lips again. Every cell in my body was screaming for me to press my mouth to hers and make love to her like I’d wanted to since the day we met. I hadn’t forgotten the kiss we shared at the bar when she’d brought me back from the darkness. She had reached me on a level even my brothers couldn’t touch.
As much as I wanted to finish what we’d started, this wasn’t the right place. Making love on a beach was great in theory, but I wanted her first time to be in my bed. Not where anyone could find us.
Smirking at her, I shook my head. “You’re good, Katarina. Much better than I expected. But you’re not focused. Always anticipate your opponent's next move.”
Instead of the kiss I wanted to give her, I planted my lips on her forehead. She appeared dazed like she was still processing my advice. Good. It meant progress…or at least I hoped it did.
After I stood and offered her my hand, she pushed herself off the ground, brushed the sand off her pants, and resumed her battle stance.
“Round two?” she asked.
Shaking my head, I moved closer and wrapped my hands around hers. “I think you’re tired. Why don’t we work on your magic for a bit?”
She nodded, though I sensed her reluctance. Her silence was proof that she’d lost focus again. She was never going to advance in her training if she didn’t get whatever was bothering her off her chest.
“Your mind is wandering, isn’t it?”
When no answer was forthcoming, she pivoted on her heel and marched toward the path that led to the house. When I finally caught up to her, she was about to bypass the gazebo overlooking the ocean.
“Kat, wait.” I grabbed her arm and urged her to sit on one of the benches. “Talk to me. Please.”
“I don’t feel like sitting.”
“Fine. We can stand, just don’t walk away.”
Though hesitant at first, she caved and said, “I’m sorry, Jax. I’m dealing with my new life as best as I can. There’s a lot weighing on me right now. I’ve never had someone’s life depend on what I do.”
“Trust me, I understand. When I took on my role as Samara’s guardian, I knew I would give my life for her. In the end, that’s not what Fate wanted. Someone depended on me and I failed her. But you…” I brushed a wisp of hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “You won’t fail.”
“Are you sure?” Her voice shook as I noticed her eyes tearing. When I nodded, she scoffed. “I’m worried that I won’t be able to connect with Slade again. How can I when I can’t control my powers?”
“That’s nonsense. You can control your powers. I’m proof. You’re the one who pulled me back from the darkness. You can do the same with Slade through the bond you share with him.”
“You’re just saying that. You and your brothers have a habit of telling me things you think I need to hear, yet you avoid the tough subjects. None of you have any regard for my feelings. These powers Samara gave me are all you care about.”
Her tears broke free and rushed down her cheeks. Seeing her cry was like a punch in the gut. So was hearing her thoughts. I wouldn’t speak for my brothers, even though I could, but she had no clue how I felt. Today that would change.
Pulling her to me, I half expected her to push me away. When her head rested against my chest, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Kat, please stop crying.”
She drew back and looked up. “I know loving me is against the rules, but I want it, Jax. I want it more than anything in my life. I try to fight this ache inside me, but it’s getting worse. This stupid bond isn’t helping either. I feel all of your emotions and it’s confusing as hell when you all say one thing and your energy says something different.”