by Elena Gray
Quinn looked to Draven for help, but he appeared as perplexed as the rest of us. I thought about offering Samara some words of encouragement, though I wasn’t sure it would matter. It was as if she were accepting defeat.
Nicholai left his position near the fireplace and walked toward the sofa. “Maybe I can be of service.”
Samara’s eyes widened. “Do you think you can help me?”
Nicholai nodded. “One of the many reasons Mathias trusts me is because I have the ability to touch things and see the past. I can also unlock the mind, allowing repressed information to return.”
Samara tilted her head to the side and studied him. “So you think I’m repressing my memories?”
“Yes,” Nicholai answered. “Your death was a horrific event that shocked your mind. Your brain can’t process those memories because you think it’s too painful. I’m not saying I can help you remember everything tonight, but if we work together, in time, I can help you recover everything you’ve repressed.”
She met Nicholai’s gaze and nodded. “All right. What do you need me to do?”
He approached the spot near the sofa where she hovered. “Close your eyes and clear your mind. I’m going to access your memories and try to unlock them.”
Samara’s head jerked back. “How exactly are you going to do that?”
Nicholai raised his hands. “I’m going to touch your temples and tap into your energy.”
Draven grunted and shook his head. “It sounds good and all, but good luck touching her. I’ve tried, and believe me, it’s impossible.”
A smile crept over Nicholai’s lips. “She may not have a physical form, but her soul is full of energy, and it’s tangible. Besides, I can reach her on a level no one else can.”
I didn’t miss the side glance Nicholai gave Draven. There appeared to be some sort of rivalry between the two. It sounded crazy, and maybe my eyes were fooling me, but everything in my gut sensed hostility.
Samara looked as if she wanted to ask Nicholai what he meant, but a poof of smoke caused the shade to disappear. When the air cleared, Nicholai no longer had his human form. His body turned as translucent as Samara’s.
“We shades are shapeshifters. We have a human form, or even an animal one if we choose. In reality, we’re nothing but energy.” He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he lifted his hands and placed them against Samara’s temples.
Her mouth fell open a second later. “Oh, Goddess. I can feel you.”
Draven paced in front of the window as he watched the two interact. Part of me worried he would cause a scene. It was evident how much he disliked the fact that a shade could touch his girlfriend when he couldn’t.
Samara wasn’t helping matters. She covered the back of Nicholai’s hands with her own and gazed into his eyes. After having no physical contact for so long, I couldn’t imagine what Samara was feeling right now. Her subtle display of affection caused the shade to smile.
“Told you I could reach you on a level no one else could. Now, close your eyes and clear your mind,” Nicholai said.
Following his request, Samara closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, then released it. She went silent and still as Nicholai continued to hold her head in his hands. Flashes of silvery light formed between his palms and Samara’s skin.
“You’re doing good, Samara. Keep your mind clear a little longer.”
With no response on her end, I wasn’t sure if she was doing as he asked or if her mind had wandered. Now that our bond was severed, I had no idea what she was thinking or feeling.
“I don’t think it’s working.” Disappointment thickened Samara’s voice.
“I sense your fear, Samara. Whatever is causing it, push it from your mind.” Nicholai’s soothing voice seemed to comfort her. She blew out another breath just as he leaned his forehead to hers. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume Samara had found a way into the shade’s heart, if they even had them. My previous encounters with Nicholai was never pleasant, and I sure as hell had never seen a sensitive side to him. Until today. The way Nicholai interacted with her reminded me of the way my brothers interacted with Katarina. Both Jax and Quinn doted on her. I was the only one holding back.
Pushing the thoughts from my mind, I refocused on Samara and the shade. A dip formed in Samara’s brow as she clenched Nicholai’s arms. A moment later, her mouth opened. “No… Slade…” Her breath hitched and her bottom lip trembled. “Goddess, no!”
Katarina flinched when Samara spoke my brother’s name. Judging by Katarina’s wide-eyed expression, she was tempted to ask Samara what she’d remembered, but Jax motioned for her to wait.
Once Nicholai pulled his hands away from Samara’s temples, he cupped them around her face. “Open your eyes, Samara.”
As soon as she did, I noticed the tears within them.
Nicholai wiped the moisture away the moment she blinked. “What do you remember?”
“It was so horrible. I…I don’t want to remember. It’s too painful.”
“I understand,” Nicholai said in a calm voice. “But what if your memories help us locate Slade?”
“You need to quit pushing her.” Draven glowered at Nicholai from across the room.
“I’m not pushing her,” Nicholai grumbled.
Both he and Draven had a silent stare down. It was an awkward moment that couldn’t end soon enough. It took Samara sniffling to break through to both men. Draven shook his head and refocused on the window. Nicholai returned his attention to Samara.
“We need to find your Book of Shadows. Do you remember where you left it?”
She wiped her cheek and nodded. “Yes. It’s in my room.”
“Where in your room?” I asked, gaining everyone’s attention. The last time I had been in Samara’s room, I didn’t recall seeing the book. It was large, thick, and hard to miss. As many times as I’d watched Samara drag it out to read or record spells, I knew what it looked like.
Of course, the last time I’d been in her room, I’d been preoccupied with Katarina. It was possible that I’d missed it.
“It’s not in plain sight,” Samara answered me. “I placed it under a spell to keep it safe and hidden. If it fell into the wrong hands…”
“So how do we retrieve it?” Quinn questioned.
“Honestly, I’m not sure you can. I just…” Samara’s lip trembled. She fought to keep it steady and lost the battle. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her chest shook with sobs.
“Samara, what’s wrong?” Katarina sat up and leaned closer to the edge of the sofa where Samara’s ghostly figure floated.
“I…I just can’t… It was my fault.”
Nothing she said made sense. Yet it was obvious something ate at her. Samara wasn’t much on crying. Most days, she was a little spitfire—too headstrong to have her feelings hurt. She could take on a lot of physical pain too, which left me baffled by her current reaction.
“Settle down, lass,” I said, “and tell us what’s wrong. No one can understand you when you’re crying.”
Okay, maybe I needed to work on my reassurances. The narrowed eyes and folded brows facing me were proof that I hadn’t used the best words to calm Samara. Damn, I sucked at relationships, both platonic and romantic.
Nicholai trailed his hands from Samara’s face, down to her shoulders. He squeezed them then rubbed his hands over her arms. As soon as Samara looked at him, her lower lip puckering, he pulled her into an embrace.
“It’s okay, Samara.” His voice hit a low, soothing tone. “It’s just a memory, which means it’s in the past. Whatever is upsetting you, it can’t hurt you anymore.”
Never in my life did I think a shade could show more compassion than me. I was more than rough around the edges. I was unpolished and unrefined. What the hell did Katarina even see in me?
Draven took two steps toward them until Nicholai gave him a threatening look. His cold, dark eyes chilled me to the bone. The disgruntled look on Draven’s face said he wanted to test t
he shade’s patience, but he halted his approach and jammed a hand through his hair.
Nicholai caressed Samara’s back as she clung to him. “Whenever you’re ready, you can talk about it. We won’t pressure you.”
My bond with Katarina quivered. Her nervous energy had her wound tight. I sensed it was over Slade. We were all desperate for information that would lead us to my brother. Maybe Katarina was right. The harder we searched for Slade, the more obstacles we faced.
Samara’s throaty sobs changed to soft whimpers. She eased away from Nicholai, took several deep breaths, then wiped the tears from her face. Her eyes roamed the room, landing on Draven first. She shifted them toward Katarina, Jax, Quinn, and lastly, me. Then she stared at the floor.
“I remember what happened to Slade.”
The ticking clock was the only sound for what seemed like an eternity. When the shock wore off, I glanced around the room, noting the same disbelief plastered on everyone’s face.
“Can you tell us what happened?” Nicholai prodded her further, and I was grateful he did. I sure as hell would have said something to upset her again.
Samara sighed and hugged herself. “My mind is still muddled. I can’t recall all the details, but I’ll tell you what I remember.”
“Any little detail could help,” Jax assured her.
“You’re right.” She grimaced and hugged herself tighter. “Slade had accompanied me to the woods in the human realm. We were searching for Rose and Natasha after I received what I thought was a message from Rose.” She gripped her temple as if her head was hurting. “Somehow, we got separated and a man showed up. I didn’t recognize him at first, but now, I think I do. It was the man that bumped into me the night I was at the club, waiting for Rose.”
“I remember that night,” Quinn announced. “I thought Jax was going to rip his arm off when he tried to touch you.”
“That asshole?” Jax asked as Samara nodded. “Why the hell was he in the woods?”
“He lured us there. We didn’t know it at the time, but in hindsight, it all makes sense. The night at the club, we made the mistake of assuming he was a human. He’s not. His eyes were just like Jax’s when the dark magic takes over. He destroyed my protective shield with a wave of his hand.”
Jax jerked in his seat. “I knew there was something wrong with the guy that night, but how did I not sense his dark magic?”
Samara shook her head. “I’d sensed something sinister in his energy, but I was so worried about Rose and Natasha that I didn’t say anything. Now I wish I had.”
“You couldn’t have known,” Jax reassured her. “He somehow was able to mask his magic.”
Watching the defeat in Samara’s eyes gutted me. I wished I could comfort her, but at the moment, Nicholai was the only one with that ability.
“Slade and I were no match for him. I remember Slade rushing toward him and the man casting black, smoky orbs in his direction. The orbs were so powerful, Slade had trouble withstanding the attack. He tried shifting into his gargoyle form, but every time he got close, another orb collided with his chest. I lost track of them after that, but I could hear them fighting.”
“It sounds like this guy is the one who captured Slade,” Quinn said as he left the doorway and re-entered the room. “He must be some kind of badass to take down a gargoyle single-handed. If he’s a dark mage, it won’t be easy to figure out who he is, considering the fact that they keep their dark arts a secret.”
“Agreed.” Jax rubbed his face. “Too bad I don’t speak to my father anymore. He’d be able to help us locate this guy, but then, I doubt he’d rat out one his fellow brothers, and he sure as hell wouldn’t go out of his way to help me. Son of a bitch.”
Katarina cradled Jax’s face and shook her head. “It’s okay, Jax. We’ll find another way. At least we know Slade is alive, and for the most part, okay. We’re going to find him.”
I hoped she was right. Much like witches, mages could wield magic and enchanted items such as a staff or rune. They gained more power with their imbued items where witches drew their power from nature and energy.
Dark mages were those who’d left the path of light and followed the dark arts. There were rumors that they used old magic because they didn’t need enchanted items to cast spells. They broke the number one rule of the Pararealm: harm none.
Nicholai rubbed Samara’s arm again. “Can you remember any distinguishing features that could help us figure out who he is?”
“From what I remember, he’s much older than me, has silver hair, and he wore a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.”
Quinn winced. “If this guy had something to do with Slade’s capture, I’m willing to bet he had something to do with your death.”
“You’re right.” Samara’s voice shook as her bottom lip trembled. She glanced at Nicholai who nodded at her to continue. “The mage did have something to do with my death. He’s the one who stabbed me.”
The revelation sent the room into a frenzy. Everyone began talking at once. I couldn’t make out what anyone was saying, but I knew one thing for certain. We had to find this mage and bring him to justice. While I didn’t have proof, it only made sense that he was the person trying to kill Katarina.
Stupid fool. He’d be no match for three gargoyles and one kickass reaper desperate to save her life.
“I hate to change the subject,” Katarina announced, “but we need to get back to finding the Book of Shadows. If it’s in Samara’s room, it shouldn’t be hard to retrieve it.”
Everyone seemed to agree but Draven, who shook his head and grunted. “Getting access to Samara’s room may be a problem.”
“How so?” Quinn inquired.
“My mother informed me that the room would be cleared out this week and all of Samara’s belongings would be sent to her parents. They need the room for a new student. I’m not sure if any of your things are still there.”
Samara lifted her head and gave Draven the same defiant look we knew so well. “Guess it’s time we go find out.”
Chapter 10
~Katarina~
We were going to find Slade. I felt it in my bones. What I didn’t know is how long it would take us to reunite with him. The decision to go back to the coven and locate Samara’s Book of Shadows was unanimous. Deciding a plan of action wasn’t.
Draven, Nicholai, and my guardians sat on the edge of their seats, staring at the coffee table where Roark placed a map of the coven. They argued about the best way to get into Samara’s old room while she and I sat in silence. I didn’t know if Samara was as infuriated as I was over their quarreling, but it pissed me off that they hadn’t included us in the conversation. Why did they get to decide our fate?
This was testosterone at its finest. And people thought women were the weaker sex. Nope. We just cut through the bullshit.
With my hand still resting against Jax’s back, I felt his muscles tighten. I smoothed my hand from one shoulder to the other, doing my best to keep him calm. When he glanced at me, I struggled to speak. His eyes were still green. With all the negativity in the room, I’d worried about his darkness reacting to it.
“Don’t worry,” he whispered as he rubbed my knee. “I’m okay. I have you here to balance me.”
It was like he’d read my mind. Though the bond between us had strengthened since we’d made love, I didn’t think it was possible for him to know my thoughts too. Sensing my emotions was a given, but my thoughts were private, even the ones about him. If he had the ability to read my mind, it would explain all the stolen moments we shared—alone—when he showered me with soft caresses and tender kisses.
As if he was still listening to my thoughts, a smile formed on lips. He winked at me before he returned his attention to his brothers. “This is getting us nowhere.”
“I agree,” Quinn added. “I think we all have good ideas on how to do this. We just need to combine them.”
“So what do you propose?” Draven asked as he crossed his arms over his chest an
d leaned back against his chair.
Quinn pointed to the map again. “Nicholai says he can get us into the courtyard undetected. Since we can’t portal in without alerting the coven, let’s go with that option. If we just walk in like you suggested, we’re going to be questioned.”
“I told you I can handle that part,” Draven snapped.
“Listen,” Quinn said as he motioned for Draven to stop talking. “Just because your mother is high priestess of this coven doesn’t mean you get special privileges. Trust me on this. Our mission will go smoother if you adhere to this plan. Besides, I’m still incorporating part of your idea.”
“Oh yeah?” Draven snorted. He gripped the arms of the chair, his fingers tapping against the fabric. “Which part?”
The hostility I felt from him seemed to dissipate. I just hoped my guardians could reason with him. If anyone could, Quinn was the one. He’d talked Roark down on several occasions.
“You’re still going to be a distraction for your mother,” Quinn continued while pointing to something else on the map. “We can’t afford to run into her. The fewer questions we are asked, the better.”
“So you want me to occupy my mother while you go to Samara’s room.”
I wasn’t sure if he was asking a question or making a statement, but Quinn nodded in response. “While you’re with her, we’ll sneak into the building. Roark will be our lookout. We’ll position him on the roof. That way, if anyone comes into the building, he can fly to Samara’s room and let us know.”
“I have the perfect spot in mind,” Roark added. When he glanced at me, my face warmed. Was the spot he mentioned the same place he’d hung out the night someone pushed me from the balcony? He’d swooped in and saved me moments before I collided with the ground. I’d often wondered how he’d found me so quickly because he’d never admitted where he was, even after I’d asked him. Now, it appeared I had my answer.