by Elena Gray
Had he cast some sort of spell on me, forcing me to relive every agonizing moment? Or was this an effect of losing part of my soul? Hopefully it would stop if we found a way to return the missing piece.
I should have died along with the people I’d failed.
Every day I questioned why I’d survived when other supernaturals were dying. Granted, as a gargoyle I was harder to kill, but that would only be true if my soul was intact.
Raising my arm, I traced the outline of my guardian tattoo. It pulsed with heat as I thought about the young woman who entered my life. Fate controlled our destinies, and it was Fate that had brought her into my life. I had a new ward—a new purpose.
Was it possible my bond with Katarina was keeping me alive? There was no other explanation. But how long would this last? What if it was only a bandage, delaying the inevitable?
The connection we shared boggled me. Guardians neither protected more than one ward at a time nor served consecutive terms. And since Samara had left this plane of existence and was only here in spirit, I knew my oath to protect her had ended.
What I wanted to know was why had it switched to Katarina? Not only wasn’t she a witch, but our assignment should have terminated when Samara died. I still had so many unanswered questions, but when we’d arrived at Mathias’s, all I had the strength to do was shower. I didn’t remember much after that until the nightmares woke me.
The one thing I did know was that I would guard her with my life, even if the ancestors hadn’t chosen me for her. There was something more between us than guardian and ward. I’d sensed it the moment we met and I couldn’t deny the effect she had on me.
As hard as I tried to focus on our bond to make sense of what I felt, Alastor slammed back into my thoughts. I again felt the agony of each cut, tear and burn. I forced myself to breathe through the pain. Each inhale and exhale cut like razor blades in my chest.
The only thing that would make this better was if I had killed the fucker. Even knowing Mathias had his men working around the clock to find Alastor, wasn’t enough to pacify me. He could be at another location right now performing his deranged experiments. As long as he was free, no one was safe.
A knock on the door scattered my torturous thoughts. I jumped at the sound and cursed under my breath. I needed to get my shit together. I couldn’t do my duty if I was always on edge.
One of my brothers must have sensed my anxiety over the memories and was coming to check on me. I needed to be more conscious of blocking them. Otherwise, they would feel the need to babysit me. Hopefully they wouldn’t stay long.
“Come in.” I hated that my voice shook. That Alastor could still have a hold over me.
The door opened, revealing Katarina as my visitor. Her hand was pressed against her belly.
“Slade, are you okay?” The soft sound of her voice was like a balm to my frayed nerves. The tension in my body eased and I unclenched my fists.
“I’m fine, angel. Just sitting here, taking a moment.”
Her smile was hesitant as she approached me. “You forget we share a connection. I sensed something distressed you.”
Dazed by her words, I stared at the ground. The tether that bound us pulsed in the same rhythm as my heart. I felt her concern along with fear and curiosity.
Releasing a deep breath, I scrubbed my hands over my face. “After what I went through, I’m plagued with memories. You cannot fathom the horrors I witnessed. The smells, sounds, energy…” My voice faded as my throat grew thick with emotion. “It kills me to know supernaturals died right under my nose. I knew something was happening, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. I was weak.”
“No, you weren’t.” Katarina reached for my hand, but I inched away. The instant I saw her face, regret spiraled through me. Did she think I was rejecting her?
“It’s a lot to process, Katarina. I don’t want to unload all the details on you. As it stands, you have plenty of things to worry about.”
“Oh. I uh…I guess I shouldn’t expect you to want to talk to me.” Her voice cracked. When I looked at her, she hugged herself and turned her back to me. “I’m sorry, Slade.”
My heart sank at the sadness in her voice. “What do you have to be sorry for, angel? This isn’t you. It’s me.”
When she didn’t speak, I stood from the bed and approached her. I slid my hands across her shoulders and massaged them, hoping to alleviate her stress. She spun a second later and dove into my arms.
“I lied to you,” she sniffled. “I let you believe Samara wasn’t dead and that I was one of the ancestors.”
I squeezed her tighter and placed my cheek against the top of her head. She’d been carrying this guilt inside her all this time. I thought I’d been clear at the prison that I didn’t blame her. But now that I thought back on it, I never said the words. I only showed her through our bond.
“I’m the one who assumed she was alive,” I said. “Yeah, you avoided the question, but you’ve also set the record straight.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I kept something from you. At the time, I believed that if I’d been honest, you wouldn’t have fought as hard to stay alive.” She leaned back to look in my eyes. “I saw how much your brothers suffered when they lost Samara. Quinn was distant, Roark hated everything, and Jax gave in to his darkness. I didn’t want you to go through that too. You had to fight.”
“Relax.” I caressed her cheek. “I understand why you hid the truth. When I saw Samara and realized she was a spirit, it was worse than anything Alastor Thornwell had done to me. You did the right thing, Katarina.”
Her gaze fell to my chest when her eyes teared up. “Do you believe me when I say I’ll never lie to you again?”
Lifting her chin, I waited until she met my eyes before I answered, “Yes. I believe you. I sense your honesty.” I dropped my hand and glanced at my guardian tattoo. “I knew the bond I shared with my brothers and Samara still existed, but it didn’t feel the same anymore.”
“How so?” she asked.
I cupped her cheek and thumbed over her lips, wanting to kiss her. Whenever she was near, I felt alive. The pain I suffered seemed like a distant memory, even if my body still bore the cuts and bruises.
Had our bond not activated when it did, I would be dead. I may be her guardian, but she was the angel sent to watch over me. She was my savior.
“I knew something was different just by the rhythm of your energy.” I leaned my head to hers and drew in the sweet scent of her skin. “Even though I felt something was off, it didn’t matter. I had hope again. You came to me when I thought I had nothing left to live for. I should have been broken, catatonic, but you…” I closed my eyes. “You saved me.”
“I’d do it a million times over too. Even before I understood our bond, I couldn’t rest until we found you. After I learned you were my fourth guardian, nothing could stop me.”
Opening my eyes, I eased back and glanced at the tattoo again. I traced the witches knot, feeling the way it pulsed with the bond I shared with Katarina and my brothers. She was tethered to each of us, and we were connected through her. There were many emotions spiraling through the bond. Our link had strengthened every day, but the connection she shared with Jax and Roark vibrated harder.
None of it made sense.
“No matter how hard I try, I don’t understand how any of this was possible.” I glanced at her tattoo. It appeared in the same spot Samara’s had. “Guardians are chosen by the ancestors. I’ve read the history of each realm and I know for a fact that at no point in time was a guardian linked to a human. There was no reason for it.”
I hadn’t intended for my voice to sound so gruff. None of my anger was directed at her. It was self-loathing. I hated the fact that for once in my life I didn’t have an answer to something that puzzled me.
When I saw her lower lip tremble, I knew my tone had upset her. My gut twisted and I cursed myself for allowing my frustrations to spill over.
“That sound
ed harsh. I’m sorry. None of the anger I feel is directed toward you. I get frustrated when I don’t understand something. All of this is new to me. I haven’t had time to process everything, like the rest of you.”
“Some people believe the ancestors chose me to receive Samara’s powers. The reason behind it differs depending on who you speak to, but my Nona—that’s what I call my grandmother—believes I’m fated to be with you and your brothers.”
“Fated? You mean, because you hold Samara’s power and we have to protect it?”
She shook her head and bit her lip as her gaze lowered. “It’s complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist as I studied her face, wanting desperately to understand why the thought of losing her made me feel as though I were suffocating.
“Is it that bad?” I asked. What could possibly make her so afraid to explain?
“You’re partially right. Fate connects us because of the power Samara transferred to me, and you guys are my guardians for that reason, but there’s more.”
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and cradled her cheek. “It’s okay, angel. There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”
“My Nona believes you guys are my soulmates.”
Soulmates? That word held a lot of power. If it were true, it meant that we…
Scanning every inch of her body, I couldn’t deny that I wanted to make love to her, but my head and heart weren’t on board. Not today. I was drained. The fact that I was still on my feet said a lot. I couldn't recall the last time I’d had a decent night’s sleep. I needed time to heal.
“Do you believe your grandmother?” I asked.
She nodded. “So do your brothers. Believe me, it’s been a battle to get them all on board. Roark resisted the idea because he felt like I would be too much of a distraction. In the end, he realized that resisting our bond was hurting both of us.”
“So, it just took Roark time to get used to the change?”
Katarina chuckled. “That and something my uncle and Nona said to him.”
That piqued my curiosity. “What did they say?”
“Well, my uncle threatened to end our bond if your brothers didn’t stop resisting our connection.”
What the hell. He had no right to do something like that. Just the thought of losing her angered me. We’d just found each other. I wasn’t going to let her go now. Even if it meant fighting the prince of the underworld.
“When Nona first met your brothers,” Katarina said, “She told us that we’re fated mates. She even explained how we balance each other.”
“Did she say anything about me?”
Katarina blinked then shook her head. “No.”
The words cut me deep. I moved past her and went to my bedroom window. “I see.”
“It’s only because you weren’t there. If you had been, I know she would have explained our connection.”
I hid my jealousy. Katarina had been my light in the darkest moment of my life. I didn’t think I’d get to meet her after thinking she was an ancestor. Once I saw her in the flesh, I never imagined I’d have to share her with my brothers.
It wasn’t that I envied her connection to them. I was jealous of the fact that they’d had more time with her than I had. They already knew about their bond and they’d had time to adjust. I couldn’t say the same.
When her fingers curled around my upper arm, I focused on the moon, hoping to settle my nerves.
“What do you think your grandmother would have said about us?” I asked.
Katarina pressed against me and I held my breath. The warmth of her body calmed the storm inside me.
“I can’t say for sure, but I think she would have sensed your whirlwind of emotions.” She gripped my arm tighter, then released it, letting her fingers tease my skin. “She would have said that you had the ability to breathe life back into me, and that I could tame your gale winds into gentle breezes.”
“Were your grandmother’s words as poetic when she explained your connection with my brothers?”
“Yes.” She nudged my shoulder until I turned around. The intensity of her devotion to me burned in her eyes.
I cupped her face and leaned my head to hers again. Touching her felt right. It eased the anxiety causing havoc on my soul.
“What about you, Slade?” she whispered. “Do you believe we’re soulmates?”
“Everything I’ve sensed through our bond makes me think we are. I’ve been around you for a few hours, and I already feel this overwhelming possessiveness. I want to protect you from everything.”
“There’s no rush. We have plenty of time to get to know each other. Right now, we have other things to focus on. How are you feeling, like physically and emotionally?”
“I’m tired.”
“That’s understandable.” She ran her fingers through my damp hair, reminding me of how long it had grown. “I see you managed to shower. Did the healer tend to your wounds after?”
“Yes,” I lifted my shirt so she could see the fading cuts and bruises on my ribcage.
She studied my wounds for a moment before her eyes roamed from my abs to my chest. When they trailed back to my face, she ran her fingers through my beard. “Did you decide to keep this?”
I’d been too exhausted to worry about shaving. I wondered if she didn’t like the look. The longer she played with my facial hair, the more self-conscious I grew.
“It looks bad, doesn’t it?”
“No.” She leaned closer. “I like it. It’s sexy.”
It felt as though I’d caught fire when she smiled at me. Her words did a number on my heart too. “You do?”
“Yes.” She pressed her hand to my chest and went on her tiptoes, as if she were going to kiss me. My breath stalled in my chest. I’d wanted to kiss her since the first moment I saw her. There was just one problem. The longer I stood here, the more I felt like I’d collapse.
Instead of closing her eyes and pressing her lips to mine, her gaze lowered to my chest and she pressed her heels back to the floor. Her hand remained between my pecs, but the worry I saw in her eyes caused my anxiety to increase.
“What’s wrong, angel?”
“There’s a reason you’re so tired, Slade, and it’s more than the obvious reasons. Your soul is fading. It won’t be long before the light inside you extinguishes.”
“How do you know that? Can you sense it through our bond?” If so, this was something new. I knew of no others who had this ability through their bond.
“I’m a reaper.”
All I could do was stare at her, completely at a loss for words. Then our conversation in the prison came back to me. She’d said her uncle was Mathias. I had a lot of catching up to do, but it would have to wait until later. If there even was a later for me.
“Am I dying?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” She rubbed my shoulder with one hand while pulling something out of her pocket with the other. When I glanced down, the piece of my soul rested in her palm. “I think it’s time we put you back together.”
Chapter 21
~Katarina~
Asking someone to trust me with their life wasn’t an easy request. Yet there I was, expecting Slade to go along with it. I had no clue how to fuse the broken piece of his soul back with the rest. I couldn’t explain how I knew it was possible, but everything within me screamed it was. Now it was time to find out how to make it happen.
If anyone could help me on this mission, it would be Uncle Mathias. He knew how important Slade was to me. This wasn’t just because Slade was my guardian. It was because he was my mate. He had to survive. I needed the four of them in my life.
Slade and I passed several of the shades my uncle had left to guard us as we came down the stairs. I almost missed one hiding around the corner. If it weren’t for my reaper abilities, I never would have seen him.
My fingers laced with Slade’s as he followed me toward the living room. I hoped like he
ll Uncle Mathias had returned from his meeting with his father. Maybe he’d gotten a lead on Alastor while he was there. The dark mage had the whole underworld out searching for him. I would hate to be on the bad side of Hades. I’d only met him for a moment and he scared the shit out of me.
Stopping just shy of the door, I peeked into the room to see who occupied it. Not much had changed since I’d left earlier to check on Slade. Quinn, Roark, and Jax stood in the dining area, talking. Samara had returned to her spot between Draven and Zander, but Nicholai was now standing in front of her. The four were discussing something that had Samara wincing.
When I glanced around the rest of the room, disappointment filled me when I didn’t see my uncle. Without his help, I wasn’t sure I could repair Slade’s soul, and we didn’t have time to wait. It was possible that Nicholai could help me, but still, I’d rather have my uncle.
Slade’s energy whirled around me as his anxiety increased. I squeezed his hand then turned to look at him. “Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
“Everything’s going to be fine,” I said.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “I’m just afraid of what’s happening to me.”
I tugged his hand and motioned to the room. “Let’s go inside.”
Nodding, he shadowed my steps, holding my hand like it was his life support. I had to get his soul back in his body before his energy faded. I felt bits of him slipping away every few minutes. I didn’t know how much longer he had.
All conversation stopped the moment we entered the room. Roark, Quinn, and Jax approached us with concerned expressions. When they reached Slade, they each clasped his arm in turn as they greeted him.
Samara and Nicholai joined me while Slade talked with his brothers.
“Hey,” Samara said in a soft voice. “How is he?”