by Cheryl Holt
“You’re hoping to push me into conduct I shouldn’t attempt.”
“Yes, probably. If we walk down the path I’m eager to travel, you’ll have to wed me.”
“You’ll coerce me into it?” she asked.
“No coercion will be necessary. You’ll relish every minute of it.”
“What brought this on? If you’d sought my opinion an hour ago, I’d have insisted you didn’t even like me very much. Now, you’re begging me to be your bride. Pardon me if I’m dubious.”
“You don’t think I’m sincere?”
“No.”
“Can you imagine I would ever do anything I didn’t truly wish to do?”
“Most likely not.”
“Why would I propose if I wasn’t earnest? What if I didn’t really want you, but you accepted? I’d be stuck with you.”
She chuckled, but miserably. “You should go back to the manor.”
“No, I shouldn’t.”
She gazed into his mesmerizing blue eyes and murmured, “No, you shouldn’t.” Then she groaned with disgust. “Gad, I’m so weak around you! In every other facet of my life, I’m tough and strong, but not with you. You run roughshod over me.”
“You’re mad about me,” he said. “Admit it.”
“I’m mad about something,” she retorted, “but I’m not sure it’s you.”
“It will work out. Don’t worry so much.”
She thought of how lonely she’d been before he arrived. Her existence was so small, her future so bleak. He delivered a tiny sliver of joy, and he was offering to attach himself to her. Why shouldn’t she grab hold?
She would be a completely inappropriate wife for him, but she couldn’t persuade him to care about that fact. It was his mother and sister who would be incensed. It would be his family and friends who would be shocked. If he wasn’t concerned, why should she be?
He was very rich, and wealth smoothed over a lot of sharp edges. Maybe it wouldn’t be awful.
“Look at me and tell me you’re serious,” she said.
“About what? About marrying you? I’m serious as a viper about to pounce on an unwitting victim.”
“What are you envisioning? When would we wed? Where would we wed? Where would we live? Could Noah and Pet live with us too? How would you feel about that? I’m terribly afraid you haven’t pondered any of the ramifications.”
He raised a brow. “Do your questions indicate you’re considering it?”
“I might be.”
“We’ll proceed tomorrow or the next day. I have to apply for a Special License, and it involves meetings with church officials and preparing documents.”
“Your mother and sister would be livid.”
“So? They’re not the ones marrying you.”
“What if you regret it later on? There’s some sort of insanity infecting you, and I fear you’ll recover your wits and realize your blunder. Then where will I be?”
“Answer me this: Was your father—your real father—an aristocrat?”
She hesitated, then cautiously said, “He might have been, but at this point in the discussion, why would it matter?”
“I’ve been certain I wasn’t proposing to a fisherman’s daughter. I was fairly sure I would be getting a grand prize with you.”
“A grand prize? Me?”
His amusement faded, and his expression grew more somber. “I think you’re extraordinary.”
She snorted at that. “I’m very vain—vainer than you probably—so I won’t argue with your assessment.”
“I offended you by suggesting you be my mistress, and I apologize. The instant the words were out of my mouth, I was appalled to have uttered them.”
“You’re forgiven.”
“But I don’t want a temporary relationship with you. I want you by my side forever, and there’s only one way to guarantee that conclusion.”
“You’re not joking?” she said. “You’re not tricking me somehow?”
“You assume I’d trick you over such an important topic?”
“Yes. No.” She wailed with dismay, feeling bewildered. “I can’t predict what you might do.”
“Take a chance, Sarah. Let’s see what happens.”
“What if I leap to my doom, and it ends in disaster?”
“It won’t. It will be perfect. I swear.”
He started kissing her again, and she jumped into the fray. He was on a peculiar trajectory, claiming they would wed. She was desperately anxious to believe him, so—for a few hours—she would believe him. For the sole occasion in her life, she would behave recklessly.
She would bluster forward and seize the opportunity he’d dangled. She’d never gambled, but what if this once, she placed her bet and won every hand?
* * * *
What a bizarre turn of events!
Sebastian had proposed marriage, and she suspected he was jesting. He ought to be insulted. Well, he’d show her! He’d forge ahead, then he couldn’t back out. If they fornicated, there could be no reneging. They’d have to wed—whether either of them wished it or not.
Although she didn’t recognize it in herself, she was a very lusty creature. She’d revel in what he was about to teach her, and he pictured decades of merry sexual play where she constantly dragged him off to their bedchamber.
He dove into the passionate fire again. So far, he hadn’t pursued much mischief. He hadn’t unbuttoned any buttons or untied any ribbons, but it was time to push her to a new level of intimacy.
He’d already tugged the hem of her nightgown up her legs, and he’d removed his shirt. Very soon, they’d both be naked, and the notion was so thrilling he could barely stand to contemplate how beautiful she’d look without any clothes.
He was driving her up the ladder of pleasure, learning her size and shape. Through the fabric of her nightgown, he massaged her breasts. The garment had two tiny straps to hold it on, so it was easy to dip under the bodice and clasp a nipple.
He pinched and squeezed until it was clear she needed more stimulation. Then he nibbled a trail down her neck, to her chest. He yanked down the straps to expose her bosom to the cool air, and he sucked a nipple into his mouth.
The act caused such a response in her that—if he hadn’t been lying on top of her—she might have leapt off the bed in surprise.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m tempting you.”
“This is occurring too fast.”
“There isn’t a slow way to engage in it.”
“It feels absolutely sinful.”
He grinned at her. “It is, but we’ll proceed anyway.”
“I figured you’d say that.”
“I’m a scoundrel. What can I tell you?”
She flopped down onto the pillow and sighed with resignation. “When I die, I’m going straight to Hell because of you, aren’t I?”
“Probably, but I’ll be there too, so you’ll have a friend waiting to welcome you when you arrive.”
He began again, sucking, biting, pinching as, gradually, his hand slithered between her legs to sneak under the hem of her nightgown. Without warning her first, he slid two fingers into her woman’s sheath. He glided them in and out, in and out, but it was too much for her, and she tried to jerk away.
“You’re scaring me,” she said.
“I am not.”
“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything. You simply have to enjoy yourself.”
“I never expected to have an experience like this.”
“Some brave man should have pressed the issue with you years ago. You’re twenty-seven! You’re so far over the hill that I can hardly see you.”
“I’m not over the hill,” she complained. “I’m…mature.”
“Ha! You’re a spinster, and you should learn what you’ve been missing.”
“What if I don’t want you to?”
“Sarah! Is it your intent to talk me to death?”
“No.”
“Then relax. It will be wonderful.”
She glared at him, then flopped onto the pillow again. She was wet and ready, her body aroused and eager for what was approaching. He sucked on her nipple as he flicked his thumb on the spot where all her sensation was centered—once, twice—and just that quickly, she soared to the heavens.
She flew up and up. As she reached the peak, she moaned so loudly that he was afraid she might wake Petunia, so he captured her lips in a torrid kiss that went on and on. She finally tumbled down, and as she collapsed at the bottom, he was preening, thrilled with what he’d perpetrated.
“Oh, my,” she murmured when she could speak again. “I think I’ve been struck blind. What was that?”
“That was sexual pleasure.”
“Am I still a virgin? I thought there was more to it than that.”
“Yes, you’re still a virgin.”
Her naïve question gave him pause. Was he taking advantage of her? No. He was marrying her the next day. No doubt they should have delayed until after the vows, but he was at the limit of his restraint.
“I can’t move my limbs,” she said. “I’m paralyzed.”
“It means I can have my way with you now.”
“Haven’t you been having it?”
“Yes, since the moment we met.”
“Vain beast,” she muttered.
“I want to show you the rest of it. Has anyone told you what happens?”
“I have a fairly good idea.”
“It’s physical.”
“I’ve heard that.”
“After we’re finished, I’ll be yours forever. You’ll never be shed of me.”
She chuckled. “I can’t decide if I like the sound of that or not. Are you worth having?”
“Am I worth having?” He scoffed with feigned offense. “Sarah Robertson, you are too, too cruel, and I can’t figure out why I put up with you.”
“Neither can I, and you have to always remember that I tried to talk you out of this.”
“You can’t dissuade me. You’ve driven me mad with affection.”
“I’ll convince myself that’s true.”
“I’ll make it true. Just you watch.”
She pulled him close so she could study his eyes, then she said, “Swear to me that you’ll wed me tomorrow.”
“You are such a hard nut to crack.”
“My life is on the line here. If you’re not sincere and you don’t follow through, I will be in a terrible jam. You can’t fault me for being cautious.”
“No, I can’t.”
He wished she would trust him a bit more, but they didn’t really know each other all that well. She’d grow to trust him though. He’d prove she could rely on him in every situation. From this point on, he’d be her staunchest friend.
“I swear I’m serious,” he replied. “I swear I’ll wed you tomorrow.”
“I’ll tell myself to believe you. I’ll tell myself it will transpire.”
“It will. I promise.”
He gazed at her, and the oddest perception swept over him. He might have been peering down a tunnel, the decades flying by. There they were newly married. There they were as parents, then with a house full of noisy, rowdy children. There they were older, their children with children of their own.
There they were elderly, happy, the years having been as good to them as he’d imagined from the start.
“Sebastian?”
Her voice sounded as if from a far distance, and it drew him back into himself.
“What?”
“Where did you go? For a minute there, you looked as if you’d vanished.”
“I was thinking of how contented we’ll be together.”
“I think we will be too.”
“Will you spoil me rotten and obey my every command?” he asked.
“I’ll let it be a surprise.”
The most precious sense of rightness settled in, as if the universe consented to their scheme, as if they’d arrived precisely where they were supposed to be.
He began kissing her again, and he was overcome by the worst anxiety. This was her wedding night, but he doubted he could make it special enough for her.
She leapt into the embrace, and instantly, it became passionate and heated. Their physical attraction was so powerful that it seemed impossible to control or tamp down. And why tamp it down? She would be his for the remainder of his life. They could be as wild as they chose.
He was determined to see her naked, and with a few flicks of his wrists, he finally had her nightgown up and over her head. As he stretched out again, as their chests connected—bare skin to bare skin—he was amazed they didn’t ignite. The feeling was that potent.
All the while, he was kissing her, his hands playing with her nipples, keeping on and on, until he couldn’t stand much more.
Gradually, he unbuttoned his trousers and yanked them down around his flanks. He widened her thighs, positioning his cock where it was demanding to be. He wedged in the tip, and only then did she panic.
“Are we going to…to…” She didn’t have the salacious vocabulary to discuss what he intended.
“Yes, we’re going to behave exactly as we shouldn’t, but we’re marrying tomorrow. We’re simply having our wedding night a tad early.”
“I’m afraid,” she said.
“Of what?”
“Of what I don’t know.”
“It will be over in a second.”
“I hope it will last a bit longer than that,” she teased.
“Maybe a bit longer, but I’m too overwhelmed by you, and I can’t wait to finish this.”
“Will it hurt?” she asked. “I’ve heard that it hurts.”
“Just for a moment. You’ll hardly notice it.”
“I’m glad you’ll be the one.”
“I am too.”
His heart was hammering furiously, and he was desperate to wax poetic. He was so totally and irrevocably besotted, and he was keen to apprise her, but he wouldn’t embarrass himself by expounding.
He had to get to the end, and he started tormenting her. As her lust escalated, as she tensed and cried out, he gripped her hips and pushed once and again and again, and just that quickly, just that easily, he was fully impaled.
She huffed out a breath, and he froze, watching as she acclimated to her new condition.
“Is that it?” she asked.
“Most of it.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore, am I?”
“No.”
She grinned. “I’m delighted that I’m not.”
“Believe me, so am I.”
“Show me the rest,” she said, “so I’ll love it as much as you do.”
“I will do that,” he vowed. “Every occasion we’re together like this, I’ll try to make it perfect.”
But he couldn’t follow through on that promise. He was so stimulated that, almost immediately, his seed surged from his loins. There was no way to slow the pace or alter the route.
After several deep thrusts, he emptied himself against her womb, the experience so stunning that he felt as if he’d been pummeled, as if he’d been wrung tightly and hung out to dry. He collapsed onto her, his body heavy with satiation, as he thought, You’re mine now! You’ll never be able to escape.
It occurred to him that she was being awfully quiet, but she was never quiet. How had she viewed the event? He couldn’t imagine.
He pulled away from her and slid onto his side. She rolled too so they were nose to nose.
“Why are you smiling?” she asked.
“I was thinking about what a cad I am.”
“How are you a cad? I practically begged you to proceed.”
“I deflowered you, and I was so anxious about it that I still didn’t take off my boots. You should scold me for being so impatient.”
She smiled too. “I’ll remember that for future reference.”
“What is your opinion, Miss Robertson? You’ve participa
ted in the marital act, and you’re no longer a maiden.”
“It was very…interesting.”
Her reply was terribly tepid, and hastily, he said, “The first time can be awkward.”
“I didn’t find it awkward. I found it quite thrilling.”
“I’m elated to hear it. I’m so enamored of you that I blundered into it like a green boy with an innocent girl.”
“I liked it anyway.”
“Good.”
“It was more physical than I realized, and I understand why people are only supposed to engage in it when they’re wed. It was so intimate. I could never try it with anyone else.”
He frowned. “Well, no, you won’t—ever. You’re about to be my bride, so get that insane notion out of your head.”
“I’m happy.”
“Not as happy as I am.”
He shifted onto his back, and he drew her nearer so she was partially draped over his torso, her ear over his heart, a lazy arm across his waist.
“What now?” she asked.
“We nap for awhile, then we do it again.”
“Can you do it more than once a night?”
“Yes, I can.” He swatted her on the bottom. “And be careful with comments like that or you’ll crush my poor male ego.”
“Heaven forbid.” A silence ensued, then she said, “Petunia will be so excited.”
“Girls are wild for a romantic ending. How about Noah?”
“He’ll be more relieved than excited. He feels such a duty to protect me.”
“That job will fall on my shoulders.”
“It will be nice to have you around to help me carry some of my load.”
“My dearest, Sarah, I will carry all of your load. It’s what a husband is for.”
“Please tell me this won’t cause too much of a fight with your family.”
“Don’t worry about them. You just need to show up for the wedding. Leave the rest to me.”
“Will we hold the ceremony here at the Haven?” she asked.
“Yes. Are there any guests you’d like to invite? I hate to delay, but if you have relatives who’d have to travel, we can put it off for a few days.”
“There’s my sister and her husband, but after how they treated me over the orphanage, I wouldn’t want them to attend. I have a friend in London too, but she’s out of town, and I don’t know when she’ll return. I’ll visit her after matters are more settled.”