by Marika Ray
I flushed. “No problem. That was going in the trash anyway.”
He proceeded to wipe his hands while I put the empty coolant bottle in the trunk. As soon as I shut the trunk, Jay was there, the bare skin of his forearm a whisper away from mine. I inhaled sharply, surprised to see him standing there, right where I wanted him. From this close, I could see specks of deep blue in his gray eyes. My heart rate accelerated, feeling like the very air around me had changed.
“Nora,” he breathed.
His gaze flickered down to my lips and I knew. He wanted to kiss me. Maybe not as much as I wanted to kiss him, but the desire was there, not just a figment of my imagination.
He leaned in, but paused an inch or two away to look up. I didn’t bother giving permission or encouragement. I took what I wanted, reaching up and pressing my lips to his. He took over the second our lips touched, his hand sliding into my hair and tugging my head back. His bottom lip prodded mine to open up to him. I needed only a nanosecond of coaxing and I was bare to him, my mouth his to explore however he wanted. And explore he did, his tongue plunging in to taste me.
The ground swooped away and I grabbed on to Jay, needing him to keep me upright. My fingertips dug into the forearms I’d perved over earlier, the scratch of his dark hair new and exciting. The trunk hit my low back and I realized Jay had me pinned there, every single one of his fine muscles up against me, pulsing with the same insanity that was lighting my veins on fire.
Jay suddenly pulled away, the rush of breeze hitting my overheated skin from the space between us now. His hand tugged out of my hair and his gaze slid away. Both hands dove into his pants pockets as if he didn’t trust himself not to reach back out.
“Sorry,” he muttered, spun on his heel, and got into the back seat of the car.
I blinked several times to clear my head. I hadn’t kissed many guys, but that had to have been the best kisser of the male species. I could still feel desire pumping through my body even as I got mad about him pulling away and shutting down. The back seat?
I guess we’re back to being strangers.
I took a cleansing breath and climbed into the front, focusing on starting the car. She purred right to life, the dashboard blessedly silent. Pulling back onto the road, I dared to glance at Jay in the rearview mirror. He had his head resting in his hand and his gaze firmly out the window.
I swallowed hard and clung to the anger I felt in my gut. Further north, my heart limped along, sending signals that crying was on tap. There was no way in hell I’d cry in front of Jay after he kissed the sense out of me and then shut me out. Lenora didn’t go down like that. Lenora went out fighting.
And talked about myself in the third person apparently.
As we swung into the parking lot of the Hell Hotel, I tossed a Hail Mary.
“I have a graduation party next Saturday. You should come if you’re in town.” As soon as the words left my mouth, Jay grunted and stepped out of the car.
I didn’t bother getting out. I heard him retrieve his overnight bag from the trunk and slam it shut. Just like he slammed shut anything developing between us after that kiss to end all kisses.
The flick of a curtain had me glancing up to the second floor where Amelia stood watching us. She gave me a finger wave, but her gaze stayed locked on Jay as he made his way to the front door of the hotel, her eagle eyes coolly assessing. Without a single glance or goodbye wave, he grabbed the handle of the front door.
I waited until he was safely inside before turning my wheels toward home.
Unfortunately, the tears beat me home.
6
Jayden
“Oh, how far I’ve come,” I muttered to myself while sealing another cardboard box with clear tape.
I had more boxes of baby equipment packed and scattered around the living room than I did clothes. For a guy still clinging on to his twenties, you’d think I’d still have a wild oat or two left to sow, but becoming a dad threw those oats right out the window.
I mopped the sweat from my face with my sleeve, intent on getting a few more boxes packed before I hit the shower and then got on the plane to Monterey. I had one last visit to Auburn Hill to do a final walk-through of my new business before I officially moved there.
“Did you already box up his Pak ’n Play?” Kelsie came into the living room, swiveling her head left and right.
Red was on her hip, his whole fist jammed in his mouth while he gnawed on his favorite chew toy. I swooped in to grab him and heft him over my head. He let out a burbling squeal, but didn’t relinquish the fist. Pulling him to my chest, I breathed in his scent. That new baby smell was already fading with each day that passed. I didn’t care if I only had one shirt to my name, all these toys for Red were worth it. My son was the reason I’d sold my business and planned this move to Auburn Hill.
“Nah, I left that and a few other things for last. Can’t have little man giving up his naps quite yet.”
“God forbid!” Kelsie’s eyes went comically round. “At least not for another week. Hey, would you hold him for a second while I take some Pepto? My stomach isn’t feeling so good.”
She walked out of the room, her hand on her stomach. I quit packing and sat down on the couch with Red, settling him on my lap and carrying on a one-sided conversation. I’d gotten quite good at those over the last eleven months.
“Listen, buddy. I know saying goodbye to Kelsie is going to be hard, but you’re going to meet a new cousin here soon and a whole new town of people who are going to love you.” At the mention of the townsfolk, one in particular flooded my brain and had me wincing with guilt while simultaneously turned on. “We’ll find you a new nanny for just a few hours a day while I work. And we’ll explore. Go fishing. I’ll teach you to throw a baseball, ride a bike. We’re gonna do it all, Red.”
He popped his fist out of his mouth, a string of spit following him. He babbled some nonsense in response.
“Goo, lala, da-da.”
I ducked my head to stare at him, disbelief coursing through my veins. “Did you just say Da-da? Say Da-da. Da-da.”
He smacked his lips and blew a bubble.
“Da-da, Da-da,” I prompted him.
Kelsie came back in the room and taunted me. “He said ‘Kesie’ the other day.”
I gave her a dirty look, ready to argue with her. I knew for a fact he wasn’t capable of that yet. And I’d be damned if my name wasn’t the first word he spoke. “No, he—”
“Da-da.”
I looked back down at Red, incredulous.
“Did you hear that? He said Da-da!” I jumped up and lifted him in the air to spin in a circle. “Good job, buddy! Da-da is so proud of you.” My heart felt ready to leap out of my chest. Who was I kidding? My heart had already leaped and found its new home with Red the day he was born. I was his forever.
Kelsie laughed, even as she held her stomach. Red was burbling again and spreading more saliva than was healthy, but we didn’t care. I’d miss Kelsie too. She’d been amazing for my little boy, taking care of him like her own.
“Sure you don’t want to move to Hell?” I asked her when we’d calmed down.
She snorted. “Hell, no.” Then she looked at Red and her face softened. “But I’d love to come visit this little guy.”
I handed him over and promised her and her family visits any time they wanted. And then I left the room to get ready for my trip to Auburn Hill. When I came out fully showered and dressed, Kelsie looked a little green in the face as she handed Red his toys.
“You okay?” I asked, concerned now. Kelsie was usually healthy as a horse. When was the last time you saw a horse with the sniffles?
She shook her head, her eyes wide. “I don’t know. I’m starting to feel pretty nauseous.”
Then she pushed Red into my arms and ran out of the room with her hand over her mouth. Sounds that shouldn’t come from a human floated my way from the bathroom a moment later.
My shoulders slumped. Kelsie couldn’t lo
ok after Red with whatever stomach bug she clearly had. I grimaced and looked down at Red. “Guess you’re coming with me to Auburn Hill, buddy.”
And then I remembered I’d already scheduled a ride with Lenora from the Monterey airport when I arrived. I’d been thinking I’d apologize for kissing her and then being so cold after. I’d explain I wasn’t looking for anything in the way of relationships and she’d understand. We’d go back to being friendly strangers. Or maybe she’d be okay with a no-strings fling. Who knew?
But showing up with my son? The one she didn’t know I had?
That might put a kink in my plans.
Have you ever tried to glue a mustache onto your face with a squirming eleven-month-old leaving spit handprints on every surface of your person? Like trying to pin the tail on the jackass while drunk on whiskey and fending off the advances of an overexuberant playmate. Simply impossible.
By the time I made it to the curb with Red in one hand and the bulky car seat in another, I was a good fifteen minutes late and not sure where the spit stopped and the nervous sweat started.
Lenora stepped out of the car and greeted me, her usual sunshine smile looking more like she pulled a muscle in her face. Either she had a problem with babies or a problem with me. I was betting the latter.
Her jean shorts were cut off, the frayed edge drawing my eyes to her perfectly curved legs. Red backhanded me in the face as if he knew my mind had just veered off into the gutter. She looked good. Better than I remembered and she’d looked pretty damn good in my mind the last week as I went over every second of our interaction. Especially that kiss.
“Hi, Nora,” I said lamely. “Sorry I’m late. Everything’s harder with Red here.”
She recovered quickly with a simple head nod and grabbed my suitcase to place in the trunk.
“Thanks. I’ll just get the car seat in.” I hustled to put Red on the floor of the back seat while I got the car seat clipped in properly. He almost crawled out onto the dirty pavement before I wrangled him back in and got the five-point harness in place.
“Da-da.”
“That’s right, little buddy. Just taking a little ride.” I gave him a wink and got into the front seat.
Lenora looked straight ahead the whole time I settled into my seat. Despite the heat of the day, I could feel the ice in her reception. I needed to get to that apology as soon as possible.
“Nora—”
“Jay—”
We looked at each other for a moment, before Lenora quickly turned and stared out the windshield again. She wasn’t going to make this easy on me.
“I, uh, just want to apologize.” I cleared my throat. “For kissing you, for freaking out about it and ignoring you. The whole thing. You see, I really enjoyed the kiss, but it wasn’t fair of me to do that when you don’t know anything about me. Especially since you don’t know that I have no intention of getting involved in a relationship. I need to be focused on my business, not starting something I can’t finish with you. So. There you have it. I apologize.”
Her face stayed perfectly still, but her hands gripped the steering wheel harder, the only tell she’d even heard me.
“I’m sorry, Nora.” Maybe I should try to get down on my knees? But how to do that in a vehicle when I was already buckled in?
I tossed the idea aside. I’d apologize, but I wouldn’t beg. And I certainly wouldn’t change my mind. A younger version of myself would have bent over backward to get in her pants, but the older, jaded version of me knew better.
“Who’s the kid?” she finally spat out.
I glanced in the back to see Red gnawing on his hand and kicking his legs in some kind of baby daydream to pass the time.
“He’s mine. Name’s Alfred, but we all call him Red.”
I spun around in time to see Lenora swallow hard.
“And your wife?”
Her voice thinned, the words showing hurt beneath the surface. A hurt I caused.
“There is no wife, no girlfriend, not even a mother every other week for Red.” The words left my mouth with a hard edge to them, daring her to show sympathy or shock or judgement.
Instead, I got a head nod.
Several miles passed and still Lenora hadn’t spoken. I couldn’t take the silence or the way she still refused to look at me, so I tried to draw her out.
“I have some people I need to talk to first and then I promise I’ll come clean on who I am and what I’m doing here. Maybe then you can forgive me.”
She sighed dramatically. The reaction felt like progress.
“I don’t need to forgive you. That kiss was amazing and I won’t apologize for it, nor should you. I didn’t ask you to marry me simply because your lips touched mine, so you can put the ring away.” Her lips twisted into the beginnings of a smile. “I’d just like to know who you are, Jay. To know something—hell, anything—about you. I don’t even know if that’s your real name.”
I grunted. “You probably know more about me than most. You may not know the details on my driver’s license, but you know what kind of person I am. I’ve had better conversations with you than some of the guys on my board of directors whom I knew for six years.”
She nodded, hands finally dropping to her lap, to steer the car from there. “I know you help a girl out when she has a problem. You wear expensive suits and have a board of directors, which speaks to a certain level of success. You aren’t afraid to meet a grumpy pastor and a Leave It to Beaver mother.” Her voice dropped to a rough whisper. “And I know you kiss like you mean it.”
Her cheeks flushed and it was all I could do not to trail a hand up her thigh and feel the way her flesh felt in my palm.
My son’s in the back seat. I repeated it over and over in my head to keep myself from doing something I’d regret.
“See? You practically know everything there is to know about me,” I choked out.
Lenora hooked the steering wheel to the right to get us through the roundabout in Hell. Thankfully no tow trucks were to be found this time. My heart rate couldn’t take another encounter with the fine-citizens-but-horrible-drivers of Hell.
“I highly doubt that,” she said wryly.
And she was right. I had been holding back from her. Partly because my move to Hell was a secret at the moment, but mostly because I had no intention of giving a woman personal ammunition to take me out with later. Been there, done that, and I’d lost the T-shirt in the ensuing legal battle.
“Hell Hotel?” she asked as she straightened out of the turn.
“Actually, no. Bain and Lucille Sutter’s house, please.”
Lenora tilted her head. “You know Bain and Lucy?”
I nodded once. “Yep, sure do.” I just needed to keep up this charade long enough to tell Bain my secret. If he found out from the small-town gossip grapevine, he might kill me.
Lenora made a noise at the back of her throat.
I waited her out but when she didn’t continue, I couldn’t help myself.
“Go ahead, spit it out. What do you want to ask me?”
She shrugged, but something about the height of her eyebrow told me I better watch my step.
“You kissed me, right? And, well, I think that level of carnal knowledge should at least grant me one answered question. Don’t you think?”
I huffed out a laugh. She amused me. That’s what it was. She made me smile more than any woman ever had. That was what drew me back in every time. I just needed to friend-zone her and then I could enjoy her company without breaking my vow to myself. Simple, really. No kisses in the friend zone though, which might be hard to stay away from.
“Okay, fine. I’ll give you one question.”
She smiled and a feeling of dread slithered into my stomach. She’d probably ask me something I couldn’t answer quite yet and then get pissed when I evaded her question. In my experience, women did it all the time when they didn’t get their way. And I was oddly saddened to think she was like all the rest.
She came to
a stop at the curb outside Bain and Lucy’s house, put the car in park, and then spun in her seat to look at me. She paused and the dread increased. I looked in the back seat to see Red’s little head slumped to the side of his car seat, fast asleep, a little line of drool from his puffy baby lips. He was a living, breathing reminder not to get too close to a woman.
Lenora could ask all the questions she wanted, but my loyalties would always lie with Red. He and I were a team. No woman was worth jeopardizing that.
“Okay.” She clapped her hands together, glanced back at Red, and then at me. “What’s your favorite candy?”
I stared at her, perfectly motionless. Was she kidding? Was this a trick? What the hell was going on here? I finally blinked, pulling myself up higher in the seat and wondering what her angle was.
“Red Hots. Why?” I answered, my words clipped.
She smiled and it looked so void of ulterior motives. “If I’m going to keep giving you rides, I figured I should know your favorite candy so I can stock up.” She pointed down to the small bin of various candies she kept in the car.
I nodded, judging her to be sincere and finding that honesty absolutely fascinating. “You seriously got to ask me one question, when you know damn well this ridiculous mustache is fake, and you wasted it on knowing my favorite candy?”
She lifted her eyebrows. “I don’t play around with my sugar sources. Candy is life giving and should be a known fact between friends before they even discuss whether they’re night owls or early birds. Plus, candy selection is a good judge of character.”
I frowned. “How so?”
“If you’d said licorice, I would have known to avoid you like the devil. That sh”—she glanced back at Red and continued in a quieter voice—“stuff is disgusting. If you’d said anything fruity flavored, I would have high-fived you for being a manly man open to his softer, feminine side. If you’d said chocolate, we couldn’t have been friends. We’d fight over the chocolate and one of us would end up crying. And it wouldn’t be me.”