by Marika Ray
“Back off, my lovely bitches. I have a man to catch.” I swiped away my tears, feeling like a new woman.
Hazel squealed and clapped. Lucy gave me a solid whack on the back and Amelia growled like the wild beast she was. They were crazy, these besties of mine, but I just rolled around the concrete parking lot outside a sex shop with my ex-boyfriend’s baby mama after I socked them both in the face, so who was I to judge?
“We’ll go make sure Addi gets out of town while you get your man,” Amelia whispered.
I was a woman on a mission, darting around various people to get to the front door of the shop where I’d last seen Jayden. Poppy cockblocked me at the last second, her wide body an effective barrier. She grabbed my elbow with a claw that manhandled packages for a living and held me by her side as she surveyed the crowd still mingling and discussing the day’s events like they had nothing better to do.
Poppy whistled loudly with two fingers in her mouth, making me jump. Once everyone had hushed and turned in our direction, she launched into a speech.
“I’ve heard enough crap about this toy shop to last me a lifetime. Our entire town is known for getting frisky in sea caves and yet you look down your noses at someone who provides the equipment for people to enjoy those frisky times? Please. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a little toy to bring along in the cave to distract you from the hard rock against your back or the dirt gettin’ kicked up? Not that I would know,” she added quickly, clearing her throat and carrying on despite redness creeping up her neck and into her puffy cheeks. “You bet your dusty ass it would be. So put your damn signs in the garbage and let the man open his shop.”
There was a beat or two of silence and then Clyde stepped forward, his face a muddy red and his trucker hat crumpled in his hands. “Jayden even chose an inconspicuous name so it wouldn’t tarnish this here town’s sterling reputation. Can’t say I agree with the way the mayor kept things a secret, but judging by the protests this week I can see why he did it that way. I vote to keep the shop open.”
“Me too,” came a sweet voice from the back of the crowd. Keva, standing next to Lucy, wiggled her shoulders and gave me a finger wave. I knew I always liked her.
“I can’t wait for it to be open,” said Bobby, the prison guard, scratching his belly.
Polly, Lucy’s mom, stepped forward. She’d just gotten into town that morning after an extended vacation, but she always had a thing or two to say about what went on in Auburn Hill.
“We may be a small town and have the conservative values that go along with it, but we don’t want to be known for being blind prudes either. Enjoying one’s sexuality shouldn’t be a shameful thing. Buying a vibrator doesn’t mean you’re going to cheat on your husband; it means you’re going to thoroughly enjoy your intimate time with him, where both of you find pleasure. Or maybe you’re single and want an outlet that doesn’t include a random stranger with questionable hygiene practices. Either way, we should be celebrating responsible sexual activity, not condemning it right out of the gate.” Polly nodded forcefully and I’d never been so happy for one of her speeches on feminism.
“Hear, hear!” Lucy air fist-bumped her mom from across the group and the two smiled at each other.
The tide shifted. I could feel it in the welcoming breeze that floated through the parking lot, cooling off tempers and bringing some sense to the group mentality. My heart swelled, seeing my neighbors and friends coming together to support the man I loved. Still loved. Which reminded me: I had a man to catch.
A flock of seagulls announced their presence with a loud squawk right before they swooped over our heads. Everyone dove for cover and I used the distraction to dart around Poppy. Jayden, Bain, Titus, Rip, and my brother stood on the doorstep of the shop, incredulous looks on their faces.
“Jayden,” I breathed, finally back within touching distance of him.
He reached out his hand, his gray eyes molten as they took me in from head to toe. I grabbed him and held on tight, needing his heat to surround me more than I need my next breath, or the approval of my parents, or staying out of the mouths of the town gossips. The minute our hands touched and his dimple came out to play, everything clicked into place. All the worries and heartache flew away like that pack of seagulls. They’d come back at some point like the pesky beasts they were, but I’d deal with it then. Right now I needed to be the partner the man I loved needed.
Keeping my hand in his, I pivoted to face my town. My parents. My friends.
I spoke my truth. And damn the consequences.
“Thank you for supporting Jayden and supporting this business. I hope he decides to keep it open. Having differing opinions that lead to healthy discussion is a great thing, but keeping a business from opening that isn’t harming anyone isn’t a smart move for our town. We have a bar here in Auburn Hill, even though it can lead to overconsumption and enable alcoholics. This sex toy shop is no different. Safe practices are what we should aim for with all things.”
I looked over at my parents, who stood off to the side taking it all in. Dad’s face was hard to discern, but I couldn’t imagine he’d be happy with this shifting tide. I looked Dad right in the eye and continued.
“Whether I work here or work somewhere else, I don’t need anyone’s approval. Loving me means loving me even when you don’t agree with what I’m doing. Loving me only when I do the things you want is conditional love. And you know all too well how Jesus asks us to love unconditionally. I ask you for the same, Dad. I learned how to be open and sweet and welcoming to everyone because of what you taught me. Now you need to open your own eyes and see you’ve wrongly accused Jayden. Get to know him like I have and you’ll see what I see: a good man.”
My parents moved forward and I braced myself for rejection. Mom’s hands twisted in front of her as her eyes darted back and forth from me to my father. Dad looked me right in the eye with a straight face, just staring for long seconds. You could have heard a pin drop in the parking lot as the town waited for what the pastor would say. You couldn’t be a small-town pastor without becoming the moral compass for the rest of the citizens whether you liked it or not.
Dad didn’t waste any time, his voice carrying across the hushed group. “I have loved you since the moment we found out your mother was pregnant with you. I had visions of who you’d become. What your smile would look like. What subjects in school you’d naturally be good at. Who you’d marry one day. Where you’d live.” My father cleared his throat and if I wasn’t mistaken, those were tears in his eyes. “I dreamed of every good thing for you. Not because I wanted to control you, but because I wanted you to be happy. And if this job makes you happy, then I support you. One hundred percent.”
I resisted reaching out for him until I was sure he meant it, despite the tears in my own eyes blurring my vision. “And if I want to date Jayden?”
Mom pushed forward, her hands reaching for me, a hopeful smile on her face. “I’ve always wanted a grandchild and Red already looks like you.”
I couldn’t fight it any longer. I lunged and they were both in my arms, tears mixing with the happy smiles. They eventually pulled away, telling me they’d talk to the town right this second and call off the protests. Lukas, Bain, Rip, and Titus also left to join the crowd and it was finally just the two of us.
Jayden rubbed my back as I watched my parents walk away. Having their support despite being involved in a business I knew they were uncomfortable with made my heart feel full. Made me feel like I could do anything.
Including telling Jayden that I loved him too.
“You have incredible parents,” he whispered.
I turned and tilted my head back to look him in the eye. “I really do. But you’re pretty incredible too. The way you stood up to the whole town and told the truth. Pretty impressive for a guy who first came to town with a mustache disguise. Jayden, you even offered to close the business. Not very many people would do that.”
Jayden inched closer, his hands reaching o
ut to rest on my waist. “I’d do it for you, Nora. If that’s what it takes to make you happy, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. What your dad said hit me in the face. That’s how I feel about you. I’d do anything to see your smile, to know that you’re happy in life. Even if it means closing this shop and leaving Auburn Hill for good.”
My heart melted right there in the afternoon heat of a summer day in Hell. I was irrevocably his. My hands slid up his chest and wrapped around his neck, bringing our bodies in contact. The solid heat of him seeped into my bones and I knew I’d never know true warmth again without him.
“I love you, Jayden Sutter. So much,” I whispered.
His chest expanded with a huge intake of air, and then his lips were a breath away from mine.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
His lips claimed mine, the fusing of two souls brokering a deal that changed lives. I was his and he was mine. And all the messy baggage that went along with us. We wouldn’t let it get in the way of us being together, we’d simply carry the load together.
His tongue coaxed my lips open and I freely let him in.
A cheer from the crowd behind me had Jayden lifting his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“Maybe we’ll save the rest of that for later when your dad isn’t staring at me like he wishes he carried a shotgun instead of a Bible.”
Laughter bubbled up in my chest and escaped. Where there had been darkness and heaviness, there was now light. Funny how some honesty and exchanged words could change your entire perspective.
The boys came back to slap Jayden on the back. My girls came next, having seen Addi off in her ride. Eventually the crowd disbursed one by one until it was just Jayden and me. He tugged on my hair and tightened his hold on my waist.
“How about we go home? I need some privacy to convince you to come back on as the manager of The Hardware Store.”
There was a time for being sweet and there was a time for playing hard to get.
“I don’t know… Throw in some of the company’s signature toys and I might think about it.” I frowned. “Wait. Go home?”
Jayden had the decency to look embarrassed. “Oh yeah, I got the keys to my new house.”
“Does it have a bed?”
He nuzzled closer and found that spot behind my ear that gave me the shivers.
“And a huge island in the kitchen. And a lounger out on the deck. And a hot tub. And about thirty other surfaces I intend to get you naked on.”
I slid a hand down the front of his pants. “It might take a lot of convincing…”
He grabbed me and lifted me up, my legs coming around his waist like I belonged there. Without a backward glance, he walked me to his truck.
“I’m more than ready for the job.”
24
Jayden
“Where’s Red?”
Nora sat in my truck in those shorts that drove me wild, her hair a wild mess from the way I couldn’t seem to stay away from her.
“He’s with the new nanny I found.”
Nora looked at me with what looked like amazement. “You sure have been busy this last week while I was busy moping.”
I felt that twinge in my chest hearing her admit how awful she felt when we’d been apart. “I tried to keep busy to distract myself.” I reached over the console and took her hand in mine. “I’m so sorry, Nora. I’m sorry for firing you, breaking your heart. Everything. I was trying to do what I thought was right for you.”
And then I ducked my head. “Wait. That’s not one hundred percent honest. I think part of me was scared about how much you already meant to me and firing you was a subconscious way to take a step back. Protecting myself, I guess.”
She squeezed me back as I pulled onto the bumpy road that led to my new house. “I know. I can see that now. And maybe for who I used to be, that was the right thing to do.” She shrugged and looked out the window at the tall wild grass that lined the dirt road. “I learned something about myself this week.”
“What’s that?”
“I thought all I was working toward was a good marketing job and freedom from my parents. Like having a job and moving out would mean I was a successful adult. But what I learned was being an adult meant standing up for what I believed in and not apologizing for my choices, even if my parents didn’t approve. And what good was it to have the apartment and the nice job if I didn’t have someone to stand by my side, you know?”
I swung the truck up the driveway and put it in park. “Yeah, I do know. Because while you were coming to that realization, I was finding out that as much as I hated my parents’ relationship, I was headed down the same path. I had to take a leap of faith and I’m so glad I did. Because it brought me to you.” I tugged on her hand and she met me across the console. My thumbs swept across her soft cheeks, rejoicing as they slid over her freckles, and then my hands dove into her hair. “Being with you is like jumping in the icy Pacific in the winter. It’s scary as hell but damn refreshing. I’ve never felt so alive.”
And then I kissed her with all the pent-up feelings from a week apart. I kissed her like she was my life and my future, my solace and my best friend. I kissed her like a man waking up from a bad dream and realizing he had paradise right in front of him.
We broke apart some time later, the heat in the closed truck sitting there in the late afternoon sun causing us to sweat. And not in a sexy way.
“Let’s take this inside, huh?”
Nora giggled and hopped out before I could come around to get her.
“Oh my God!”
I raced around the hood to her side. “What?”
She pointed at the house, her mouth hanging open. “You bought my house?”
I looked up at the structure, taking in the wraparound porch and the bay windows, seeing it from her eyes. My heart was back to beating out of my chest. She said she loved me and now I found I needed everything from her.
“I was kinda hoping it would be our house.” I stepped in front of her and forced her to tear her eyes away from the house. “Move in with me and Red.”
Her brown eyes went round and I couldn’t tell if the shock was a good surprise or a bad one. She finally snapped her jaw closed and swallowed hard.
“My parents will not be happy if I move in with you.”
Her words hung there in the humid air, sucking the joy right out of my chest. She took a step closer, our bodies touching, teasing me with how badly I wanted her. A single finger slid up my arm and over my chest to stop right above my heart.
“The thing is, though, I’ve always known I would end up with you, even from the first day I saw you with that stupid mustache. It may not be how my parents would have gone about it, but I’m my own person. And when I’m with you there’s not one ounce of me that feels like what we have is wrong. So yes, I’ll move in with you and Red.”
Something so primal I couldn’t have described it surged through me and I picked up Nora to run her to the house. I didn’t put her down until we’d crossed the threshold, letting her slide down the front of me because I was a bastard and I needed to feel her. Needed to know she was really here with me and planning to move into this big, gorgeous house with me and my son.
“I love you, Lenora Delancey Murphy. I love you so much it scares me.” I pulled her hips to me, to ground myself in her. She was my new normal, my foundation, the very person who would be my bedrock in life.
Her eyes went misty and so did mine. Not that I’d ever admit to that outside of this moment. My circle of trust was small. Growing every day since I’d come to Hell, but still small.
“You can trust me with everything, Jayden. I know those are just words, so I’ll prove it to you with my actions.”
I tugged on her hips and tried not to grind my erection into her. Seemed like I was always sporting one when she was around. Damn nuisance. “You already did when you stood up to your parents and the whole damn town. And you did it in such a Lenora way.”
<
br /> Her adorable nose with the freckles across the bridge scrunched up. “What do you mean?”
I ran a thumb under the hem of her shirt and almost got distracted by the smooth skin I’d missed. “You know, you punched a psycho and then got up in people’s faces with kindness and then followed it up with hugs. It was crazy. Totally badass. It was so you.”
She shrugged like it was nothing. “My hand does kind of hurt, though.” She lifted her arm and swiped a finger under my eye so gently I barely felt it on the tender skin there. “And we need to get some ice on your eye. I’m afraid I gave you a shiner.”
I shook my head. Bain had done worse many times growing up horsing around like brothers do unsupervised. “I deserved it. How about we give you the official tour of the place and then I can get busy on my evil plan of luring you back to The Hardware Store?”
Her face split in a huge smile and I knew I’d spend the rest of my life putting that expression on her face, even if it killed me.
“Sounds perfect.”
The tour ended in the master bedroom, which I swear wasn’t on purpose, but it did seem convenient for the activities I had planned for us. Nora stood off at the far end of the bedroom at the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, taking in the view of the trees. A trail behind the house took you all the way down to the beach if you followed it long enough. At least that’s what the realtor had told me. I hoped to explore everything with Nora by my side.
“I want it all, Nora,” I told her quietly, my shoulder resting against the doorway into the bedroom.
She turned toward me, the late afternoon sun from behind making her glow. “What do you mean?”
I pushed off the doorjamb and took a few steps into the room. “I mean, I want everything with you. I want you to move in, I want to marry you, have babies with you, grow companies with you. Everything.”
There it was. Everything I hoped and dreamed of floated out there in the open between us. If she didn’t want the same things I needed her to tell me now. I was baring my soul, offering it to her if she wanted it.