With a last goodbye, Athena and I raced across the platform and threw ourselves onto the train a moment before the doors slid closed.
We found an empty table and sat beside each other so we could put our feet up on the seats across from us. Less than a minute into the journey, I was asleep.
Somehow we woke in time to get off the train again as it rolled into the Ville. Athena and I picked up our things and stumbled towards the door. They opened and I almost fell out of the train.
I rubbed my eyes that stung from the bright morning sun.
Athena yawned and stretched her arms above her head. We fetched our clothes from the hedge and pulled them over our party dresses.
I almost fell into the hedge trying to get my Levis on.
Snails could have beaten us on the walk back to Mapleton Manor. We went so slowly we practically went backwards. It was the most demanding physical test of our lives. My head thumped and I felt so sick I had to pause every few minutes in case I actually was.
But it was nothing compared to the task of sneaking back into Mapleton Manor. Shimming down a drainpipe is easy. Shimmying up one, is slightly harder.
“We didn’t think this one through properly, did we?” Athena asked as we stared up at my window, which seemed like a million miles away.
“Oh, sod this,” I mumbled. “Come on, we’ll go in the front. People should be at breakfast by now, or still asleep, and if we get caught we say we went for a walk to get some air but now we feel rubbish again so are going back to bed.”
Athena blew out a breath. “Sod it,” she agreed.
Luck was on our side and we didn’t see a single soul on our way up to our floor.
At my door, Athena gave me a limp hug. “That was brilliant. And I’m sure I will think more fondly about it once this hangover clears off.”
I laughed and immediately clamped a hand over my mouth. “Urgh. Right, I’m going to bed.”
“And me. See you later.”
My bed felt blissful as I slid between the cool sheets. I snuggled down as gingerly as I could, taking care not to make any sudden movements to risk upsetting my tender tummy, or to make the pounding in my head any worse.
I had just got into a seriously comfortable position, and had probably dozed off for around thirty seconds, when my bedroom opened.
“Morning, Freddie, love,” Housemistress said. She marched across the room and flung open my curtains, making me groan and wriggle further down in my bed.
“It’s not morning, please, please let it be bedtime,” I grumbled.
“Nope. Up you get, the fresh air will do you the world of good.”
“Fresh air?”
“Yes, on your walk into the village for Sunday service.”
Oh, God…Sunday service! “Oh, Housemistress, I’m still not feeling one hundred per cent…”
“Just as I thought, which is why the fresh air is the best thing for you. Now up you get, or you’ll never get a hot shower and then you will be late.”
She left my room and I had no choice but to get out of the bed I had only just got into.
I felt mildly more human after a shower, certainly a slightly more alert one.
Athena leaned against the stone façade of the Sixth Form Centre, looking as crap as I felt. She cracked open one eye as I leaned beside her. “Why did we think Saturday night was a good idea, again?”
“I don’t know. But next time we either go on a Friday, or come up with better cover stories as to why we can’t go to Sunday service. A broken leg should do it, right?”
Athena snorted a laugh. “It should. Are you volunteering?”
I gave my ankle a shake. “Nah, this one is only just mended. I’d best not give my mother another fright.”
The walk back into the Ville was just as awful as the one Athena and I had only just finished. Whoever wanted more cigarettes could bloody well go themselves next time—I didn’t want to make this journey again for a while.
It was hot and stuffy inside the church. The reverend had a soothing, hypnotic quality to his voice that made my eyes droop and body relax. I scooted down lower in my seat, as low as I could in a pew, anyway, and folded my arms across my chest.
The next thing I knew, I was blinking away drowsiness and wondered why everyone was staring at me. Glancing at Harriet beside me, I whispered, “What’s everyone looking at?”
“You,” she whispered with a giggle. “You were snoring, Freddie. Quite loudly, too.”
I cringed and gazed over to Mrs Macpherson, who did not look impressed. There went my plans for sleeping the rest of the day away until it was time to return to school. I’d bet my Doc Martens that I would be scrubbing the red staircase in Hemston with a toothbrush.
Oh, bugger…
It took until the following weekend to forget how terrible the hangover was, how horrid the punishment had been, and how bone-tired the night out had made me. So when Fenella wrote another letter saying she and her friends were having a party and asked if I wanted to go, I couldn’t think of a reason not to.
Sneaking out had been exhilarating and I had developed a taste for it. Why should I do what was expected of me all the time? I was young! This was the time in my life where I should be breaking the rules and getting into mischief.
Athena couldn’t go to the party, so I sneaked out myself. She promised to cover for me if anyone came looking and I knew I could count on her.
This time, instead of getting the train to London, Fenella had arranged for me to meet her at a little village on the outskirts of the city. She was waiting for me at the station when my train arrived, sitting on a bench with large-framed sunglasses covering half of her face.
Fenella smiled wildly when I stepped off the train, and draped one arm over my shoulders. “How are you, sweetie?”
I slung my arm over hers as we started walking towards the exit. “Good. All the better for seeing you.”
She laughed. “That’s what I like to hear. What about Louisa and Augustus? How are they managing now they’re back at school?”
“I haven’t spoken to them. Louisa is going to be visiting Grandma a few times for exeats.” I shrugged. “I might join them so I can keep an eye on her.”
“Poor Lou,” Fenella murmured. “It must be so hard for her, she’s so young.”
“She barely left my side after Daddy’s funeral. And you should have seen her at the airport saying goodbye to Mummy. I thought she was going to break the glass windows with her screeching.”
“Poor Lou,” Fenella repeated.
I gave a heavy sigh, my heart aching. “Let’s not talk about this. What’s the plan for tonight? What are we doing out in the sticks anyway?”
“Okay, keep an open mind about what I’m going to tell you.”
“This sounds worrying,” I said dryly.
“Perhaps.” Fenella giggled. “The party…it’s sort of in a sheep field.”
“A sheep field?” I exclaimed. “Are you mad?”
“No, not in the least.” Fenella led the way towards a parked car. “They have these parties all the time. We’re going straight there, it’s sort of an ‘as long as you last’ sort of thing. Last weekend, some people were there until Monday morning.”
I glanced down at my fitted T-shirt and Levis. “And here I thought I would be under dressed.”
Fenella giggled and unlocked the car. “You look gorgeous as always.”
“Is this yours?” I asked her as I climbed into the passenger seat.
“It is indeed. Mummy and Daddy said if I passed my test on the first try then they would get me a little run around. I’ve been practicing on the estate all summer and passed my test this week. Nice, huh?”
“Very,” I said, impressed. I had no time to learn to drive. I barely had time for school these days.
Fenella drove the country lanes like a rally driver, speeding around the corners and narrowly missing driving us head first into a tractor. She parked in a wide layby and locked the car once we had clim
bed out.
“Are you sure this is it?” I asked, peering around. Though she had said the party was in a field, I had expected it to be a touch livelier than the empty green pasture that I was staring at.
“Of course it’s not,” Fenella said with a laugh. “We have to cross a couple of empty fields to get to the right one.”
“You never said I had to trek through a bunch of other fields to get to the right one!” I huffed.
Fenella patted my shoulder and motioned for me to follow her. “Come on. I promise it will be over before you know it. And it will be well worth it when we make it.”
“It had better,” I muttered as I followed after her. We climbed over the gate that led into the empty field, and started making our way across it to the other end.
“You’re going to love all these new people, Freddie,” Fenella said. “I’ve made so many new friends it’s unbelievable. They’re always doing mad stuff like this, and I get the best party invites.”
It sounded as though she was having an amazing time at her new school. I ignored the sharp stab of jealousy to hear her talk about her new friends. Mostly I hated that other people got to see her more than I did.
But if she wasn’t at a new school, then we wouldn’t be about to attend a party in a sheep field. I would decide afterwards if this was a good thing or not.
We climbed over a gate into the next field. There was a cow in the middle, staring right at us.
“Are you sure we’re allowed over here, Fenella?”
Fenella snorted a laugh. “Of course we’re not allowed in here. Why do you think the party is in such a faraway field? It’s so we don’t get caught.”
“Well what about that cow over there? Is it safe to be in here with it?” I looked at the cow again, and saw it meander over to us.
“Yeah, it should be fine. Though, it is weird that it’s on its own, right? I feel like that means something, but I can’t remember what.”
The animal padded closer and unease grew in my belly. “Isn’t it bulls you should be wary of if they’re in a field by themselves?”
“Yeah, that was it!” Fenella exclaimed. “Why?”
“Because I think that is a bull,” I whispered.
Fenella looked over at it, and swore under her breath. “Okay, don’t panic. Let’s just walk nice and slowly to the other gate. We’re almost there, it’s not far.”
“Yep, we’ll walk nice and slowly…” I agreed in a quiet voice.
The bull snorted and we screamed and started running for the gate. We practically flew over it and kept running until we were half way across another field and realised that the bull hadn’t scaled the hedge and chased after us.
“Oh my God,” Fenella said on a breath. “I think I had a heart attack.”
“Think? I know!” I sucked in a deep breath, trying to slow my racing heart. “Fenella…do you think perhaps we’re lost?”
“I think…perhaps you’re right.”
We walked for so long I thought my feet would fall off, climbed so many fences I became a pro and managed to avoid being chased by any more bulls. But we eventually found the right field. Half a dozen large tents were erected in the middle, and the chatter and laughter of people drifted across to greet us. A guy spotted us and stood up out of his camping chair.
“Fenella! You made it! Where on earth have you been?”
“We got chased by a bull! I think we may have gotten a little lost. But never mind, we’re here now. What’s happening? Where’s the booze?” she asked.
I couldn’t help but grin at my flustered friend. Something told me that this story would be one she told to all her new friends. There was nothing for me to be jealous about. Fenella might have a separate life from me now, but I was still very much a part of it.
I stretched out in my bed, wrapping the warm duvet tightly around me and snuggling deeper into the mattress. Letting out a contented sigh, I smiled at the memory of my dream about Keanu Reeves.
With a yawn, I cracked my eyes open.
Annie and Athena’s faces were about an inch from mine.
I yelped and scrambled so far back in my bed I fell out the other side with a thump.
My friends, helpful as they were, cackled with laughter. Athena helped untangle my legs from the duvet and gave me a hand up.
“What on earth are you two doing?” I asked as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
Athena and Annie exchanged an excited look. Athena nodded, and Annie reached for something hidden on the other side of my bed. She held up a bulging pillowcase.
“Happy birthday, Freddie,” Annie said.
Athena threw her arms around me. “Happy birthday, gorgeous.”
I laughed. “I can’t believe you did this.”
“We all did.” Athena opened my bedroom door and Jemima, Harriet, Alicia and Cassandra all poured inside. They piled onto my bed and pulled me down with them.
“Come on, come on,” urged Harriet. “I can’t wait to see if you like my gift.”
A lump of emotion rose in my throat. I had the most thoughtful friends.
Annie’s face softened. “You didn’t think we wouldn’t do something special for your eighteenth, did you?”
I smiled at her. “I’m so glad you did. How did you remember about the pillowcases?”
Annie rolled her eyes. “We all loved pillowcases on our birthdays, but no one more than you.”
Receiving a pillowcase full of gifts was one of my favourite memories of Bourne Park. The night before your birthday, two girls from your dormitory would go around all the other girls with a pillowcase. Anyone who liked you popped a little gift into the pillowcase and in the morning the two girls would present it to you. Not to sound conceited, but my pillowcase was always the fullest. I put it down to the fact that I got along with everybody and was genuinely a nice person.
That, and I was the sweetie queen of Bourne Park.
I swiped away a stray tear and dived into the pillowcase. The girls helped me to open my gifts, some fun and quirky, others lovely and meaningful. Soon my bed was covered in piles of CDs, makeup and books, jewellery and accessories.
As well as presents from my individual friends, they had all gone in together to create a memory book. There were pictures and anecdotes from my years at Bourne Park and Mapleton Manor.
We laughed for hours that morning as we poured over the book, reminiscing and being nostalgic.
It was the best birthday ever.
Louisa had morphed into the clichéd rebel child, acting stroppy and being disrespectful. It was obvious to us all that it was because she was hurting so much still, but it made being around her difficult sometimes.
The presence of Daddy was still so strong in the house, too. A few times Mummy and I swore we got a gentle waft of his scent, like he was still there, still keeping an eye on us. It made my grief return. At Mapleton Manor, I had felt as though I had almost returned to normal, but back home the waves of anguish came swift and often and all I wanted was for someone to make it better.
Augustus was now every bit the sullen teenager, and spoke in grunts and shrugs. So it fell to me to be the good one…the one not to do anything to upset Mummy.
By the time I left for school again after half term, that awful pressure and suffocation was back.
One night after returning for the new term at school, I was elbow deep in my History of Art textbook when Athena and Annie slipped into my room. I glanced at my digital clock on the bedside table and saw it was almost eleven.
I gave them both a disapproving look. “Now, girls, aren’t you aware it’s past curfew?”
Athena rolled her eyes and flopped down on my bed. “Sorry, Miss.”
“What are you two up to anyway?” I asked with a grin.
“We were bored and saw the light on under your door,” Annie replied. “What are you studying?”
“I have my history of art test next week.” I shoved the textbook away and got to my feet. “But the dates are making my head
spin. Fancy a cig?”
Athena and Annie didn’t have to be asked twice. We grabbed my packet and eased out onto the ledge to shimmy across to the lower part of the roof. Athena and I sneaked out so often that it was like second nature to us now. We knew where to stand, where to hold on and most of all…where to avoid. Annie, it seemed, had forgotten about the row of loose shingles and inadvertently grabbed hold of one as she climbed onto the roof.
It slipped free of its holding, and free of Annie’s hand as it fell to the ground, quite a few storeys down. It broke with a sharp crack that seemed to echo across the grounds.
I held my breath and looked at my friends with wide eyes. Annie and Athena also appeared to have stopped breathing. When after a minute or two, no one came to investigate, I began to relax.
“They’ll just think it slipped loose,” Athena said with a shrug.
“Do you really think so?” Annie asked. Her eyes were big and round and her body was stiff—she was noticeably shaken.
Athena nodded and handed out the cigarettes. “So what’s next on the party girl’s agenda?”
“Fenella said there’s this really cool party happening at King’s Cross the week before the Christmas holidays. It should be pretty good. And I bet that guy you meet the other week will be there,” I said with a smile at Athena. She had come with me to the last party in a sheep field. Like me, she hadn’t been overly impressed with the trek to get to the right field, but luckily for her, we’d gone the right way and hadn’t been chased by any cattle. Athena had hit it off with Simon, one of Fenella’s new school friends, and I knew she was itching to see him again.
Athena’s eyes lit up. “Sounds brilliant! I’m there!”
“Oooh, can I come too?” Annie asked as she shuffled across the roof to sit closer to us. “I haven’t sneaked out in ages.”
Athena and I exchanged a look and pretended to consider the request. I giggled. “Of course you can come, Annie, don’t be daft.”
Lady in Waiting Page 19