by Talya Andor
Soren grinned. He looked at the ingredients listed under the dish. "Well, maybe I'll try that."
Ben returned with their drinks and took their orders. He brought an extra glass of water for Lucas, though he hadn't asked, and assured him the sushi would only be a moment longer.
Soren decided to try the okonomiyaki, and Lucas ordered something that sounded Japanese again, though Soren did recognize 'tempura.'
"What did you get?" Soren asked.
"It's a noodle dish in broth, like a fish stock based broth, and it comes with tempura shrimp. And onions and a chili pepper spice mix that you can season your soup with."
"Sounds good," Soren said. He wrinkled his nose. "And spicy."
"I like it," Lucas said. He peered at Soren. "I hope you like your okonomiyaki. That's pretty adventurous for a first taste of Japanese food."
"Maybe I've decided I ought to take more risks."
A genuine smile tugged at Lucas's mouth, crinkling his eyes up. "And what made you decide that?"
"Well, I kissed you," Soren said, proud of himself for getting that out without blushing. "And I liked that and I want to do it again. So why not other things?"
"Why not." Lucas was outright grinning now. "That works out in my favor, for sure."
The sushi arrived on a platter by itself, and Ben brought two small, square dishes stacked with two little saucers.
"He must have thought we were sharing," Lucas said, passing a dish and saucer to Soren.
Soren regarded the platter of sushi with squeamish fascination. The nigiri, the scallops, were pale reddish-pink heaps atop the seaweed boats, and they seemed to glisten unwholesomely in the light. There were two neat rows of red and green wrapped in rice and seaweed, and then a long row of what appeared to be an inside-out roll topped in pieces of seared salmon.
"This one isn't raw," Lucas said, gesturing with his chopsticks. With precise, adept motions, he began to shift sushi from the platter to his small plate. "You want to try it?"
Soren watched with wide eyes. "Uh, I think I'm going to need a fork."
"No way! You don't use chopsticks?"
"I can't use chopsticks. I never learned how."
Lucas turned wide eyes on him. "Soren," he said, sounding scandalized. "I need to correct this oversight immediately. You've never eaten Chinese food?"
"With forks," Soren said, trying not to snicker.
Lucas made a noise in his throat that was halfway between a scoff and a tsk. He shook his head. "Oh, man, I can't even imagine."
"Obviously," Soren said, and now he had to laugh at Lucas's woebegone expression. "Look, you can try to show me how to use chopsticks, but I'm telling you, I'm going to need a fork."
"You can use your fingers," Lucas said in a tone so dubious, Soren could hear the unsaid I guess that he probably wanted to tack on. "In fact, that's what you're going to use for your pizza, so you may as well."
"Yeah, I don't think I can do that," Soren said, gesturing to the way Lucas had plucked a piece of sushi and held it poised between his chopsticks mid-air. "That's not going to happen today."
"We can work on it," Lucas said. He glanced at Soren, bit his lip, and added, "I mean, if you like Japanese food."
Soren grinned and reached for a piece of the seared salmon roll with his fingers. "As long as you don't try to feed me anything raw."
Despite his assertion, Soren did end up trying one of Lucas's tuna and avocado rolls. It was strange, the texture oddly mushy, but he didn't dislike the flavor. He'd have to try it again sometime.
When it arrived, the okonomiyaki turned out to be so delicious, tangy and savory at the same time, that Soren wolfed the entire thing down, batting Lucas's fingers away when he tried to snag a piece for himself.
"You ate more sushi," Soren protested. "This is all mine."
"Fine," Lucas grumbled, but he was smiling.
At the end of their meal, Ben reappeared and looked back and forth between them with that same friendly smile. "Together, or separate?"
Soren blinked, surprised by the question. The check. "Together," he croaked. He shouldn't be ashamed to say it.
It should be fairly obvious to anyone with eyes, and yet he was still hesitant.
Lucas shifted beside him, reaching for his wallet.
"Stop that," Soren said, pulling his own out and counting bills.
"You don't have to pay."
"I want to. You paid the last two times."
"Not yesterday," Lucas said, raising a brow.
"That was just sandwiches. I asked you out, so it's my turn."
Lucas pulled a challenging look on him. "I ordered sushi on top of my meal; I should pay for that." Soren bit his lip. "Just the sushi and a little extra for tip," Lucas said, putting a bill on the table.
Soren glanced at the bill and bit his lip harder. If that was how much Lucas thought he needed to cover sushi and a proportional amount of the tip, he didn't think he could keep protesting. He sighed.
When the bill came, his eyes widened, and he conceded Lucas's bid to cover his sushi starter without further argument. He made sure to leave a generous tip for Ben, and patted Lucas's thigh. "Ready to go?" he murmured.
"Let's. What did you think?"
"Really good!" Soren said happily. "I'd definitely come here again. Or any other Japanese restaurant you care to show me."
"There's loads. I'm always happy to create new converts."
Soren smiled over at him and bumped his knuckles against the back of Lucas's hand as they walked back to the car. That earned him a raised brow and a half smile.
When he paused at the curb, waiting for Lucas to unlock the car, he turned and found Lucas beside him. He leaned against the car and found a place for his hands, resting them on Lucas's waist, as Lucas moved in close and put his hands to either side of Soren.
"Good date?" Lucas asked.
"Very good," Soren said. He hesitated, checking the side street. The sidewalk was empty, all foot traffic further off, too far to notice or care. He lifted his chin, bringing himself into kissing range.
Lucas obliged, pressing their lips together.
It was shorter and somehow better than the first kiss. The nerves, the anxiety of the unknown, burned off and left only exhilaration behind. Soren shaped his mouth to Lucas's lips as they moved over and across his. His pulse seemed thunderous, still, to his own ears but it was excitement that drove him now. He made a little noise of protest when Lucas lifted his mouth away.
"Good kiss?" Lucas asked.
Soren was diverted by the way Lucas licked his lips. "You know it was," he answered, distracted. He wanted another.
"What have you got planned for the afternoon?"
"Nothing," Soren murmured, offering a glimmer of a smile in the face of Lucas's intent regard.
"Want to come back to my place?" Lucas asked.
Soren hesitated. That invitation had a very particular connotation to it, normally, but Lucas had already promised he'd stick to Soren's pace. He had proven good to his word so far. Soren didn't see a reason to start doubting him now. Besides, the fact that Lucas had invited him to come see his place, rather than sticking to public places only…it meant something, that progression.
"Yeah," he replied. "Yeah, I want to."
*~*~*
A chilly wind blew through the lot as Soren left the warmth of the car to walk beside Lucas toward a blocky apartment building. Soren pulled his thin coat tight around him and watched the husks of leaves dance across their path. The trees above them were stripped bare, stretching dark, skeletal branches against the blue relief of the sky. He wanted to slide his unexpectedly chilled fingers into Lucas's hand, but didn't feel entitled.
"You'd think it would be warmer with the sun out," Soren said, but he knew that wasn't the way it worked in Oregon.
"I think the clouds kept us warmer," Lucas replied, glancing at Soren sidelong. "Kind of like an extra layer of insulation."
Soren was flush with success. He didn't know wh
ere he was going from here, but he was willing to let Lucas guide his way.
"You're not too far from campus," Soren said, shading his hand against the sun and looking up at the squat, two-story complex.
"Yeah. Which means we're in the ass-end of North Portland, far away from the pulse."
"I don't mind it so much." Then again, when Soren had lived in Eugene with his family, they had practically lived in the country, so he was used to it.
Lucas led him up the narrow stairs that curled around the side of the building, hemmed in with a shaky black railing. Their feet clattered loudly in the quiet complex, echoing across the lot. Soren shadowed Lucas, staying close when they stopped outside of apartment number twenty-two. Lucas turned and seized Soren's hands, chafing them. "You're freezing, aren't you?" he asked, amused.
Soren agreed, teeth chattering. He knew by the look in Lucas's eyes that he was going to be kissed again. He closed his eyes as Lucas drew him in, warm lips closing over his. He worked his fingers into Lucas's shirt, gripping it, but cold fingers were now far less important than Lucas's mouth moving over his, soft and slow, as if he didn't want to startle Soren.
Soren nudged upwards, parting his own lips in tentative encouragement, and Lucas's arms went around him, leather-gloved hands squeaking together at the small of his back. Soren made a quiet noise, and Lucas broke away.
"Come inside," Lucas said, pushing the door open and making a courtly gesture.
Out of habit, Soren took his shoes off at the door and curled his toes in the plush carpet. From the outside, the apartment complex looked shabby, but the suite inside was nice and appeared newly-refurbished. Soren set his book-bag down. "I'm going to assume you didn't invite me over to do homework," he said, brushing his ponytail over his shoulder.
Lucas laughed softly. "Not this time. But we could put the TV on and ignore it, if you like."
Soren smiled. "That sounds just about right." He looked around the spacious front area. To his right were a couple of battered couches and chairs laid out before a wide, low coffee table. Against the wall was a fairly impressive home entertainment system flanked by tall speakers. His eyes rounded. "Wow."
"Ahh, half the good stuff belongs to Alec, and the other half belongs to Jack," Lucas said. "Two of my roommates. Here, let me give you the two-bit tour."
"What, I don't rate the full dollar tour?"
Lucas smiled and steered Soren past the alcove of a dining room to his left, containing nothing more than an oval table surrounded by six chairs, into the open kitchen area. Opposite the C-shaped area of the main kitchen was a wide bar that opened up onto the room beyond. On the kitchen side of the bar, there were cabinets and drawers above and below the gap. On the room side of the bar, there was a row of barstools.
"Kitchen," Lucas said. "You want anything to drink?"
"I'm fine." Soren looked around. The living room and dining room were the neutral beige seen in pretty much any apartment complex, while the kitchen was all white and gray.
They moved beyond the kitchen, into the interconnected space against the far area beyond the kitchen. It looked as though it was set up for studying, with four distinct workstation areas, desktop computers at two of those. The wall to their right was inset with a sliding glass door, and beyond that was a balcony.
"This is a really nice place," Soren commented, envious. He'd never even lived in a dorm, let alone an apartment on his own. His parents had chosen their current house for its proximity to the University of Portland, and they probably planned to put all of their children through school there, but he wished he'd been given the choice.
"Thanks. Brandon's the one who found it," Lucas replied, catching Soren's hand and drawing him back toward the living room area. "I'd show you the view from the balcony, but—"
"It got cold," Soren said, shivering at the thought. "What, you're not going to show me the rest of the apartment?"
"No, I'm not." Lucas smiled. "Maybe later, if you, um, want to."
The only thing left here to see is the bedrooms. The thought didn't exactly bother Soren, but they'd barely been dating two weeks.
Lucas flipped on the TV as they settled on the middle of the three mismatched couches, and sound boomed from the speakers. "Damn," Lucas said with a grimace, thumbing the volume control. "I guess Alec was the last to watch it…" He made a show of flipping through channels, and his right hand drifted to Soren's knee.
Soren accepted the gesture, closing his eyes. Of course, this was more than just Lucas; this was his friend. Soren covered Lucas's hand with his own.
"You know," Lucas said softly, "I don't think there's anything on TV that's all that interesting."
Not compared to you. Soren couldn't bring himself to say such unbelievable drivel out loud. That was one for the cheesy romance novels.
He turned against Lucas, feeling shy when Lucas shifted and put an arm around him. Lucas was warm, and he smelled good. He was beautiful, and that incredible mouth was so near. Soren wanted to feel the shape of it against his. He leaned in and closed his eyes, and Lucas took care of the rest.
Although they had kissed before, that had been different. There was time and space for consideration, and Lucas's lips played slowly over his as if tasting him, although Soren hadn't parted his mouth. Soren nudged back against him, unskilled but eager. After going over the first hurdle, it seemed so easy. Soren was breathless, hungry, desire welling up in him and pushing him to kiss back harder, meeting Lucas's now open-mouthed kisses. He had never wanted anything so much, he knew; not something he could hold in his arms.
Lucas pulled back, breathing harder. They both were, and Soren leaned forward, full of lazy contentment and wondering, and pressed his forehead against Lucas's. Don't wake me from this dream.
"Okay?" Lucas murmured, his hand shifting from Soren's shoulder blade to grip his shoulder.
"Mm-hmm." Soren felt that if he tried to speak, he would burst. He leaned in to press his mouth to Lucas's again, catching him with his lips parted. It was more than just being a fast learner—with the right partner, someone he wanted that much…it was easy; it was like flight dreams.
Lucas slid a hand down his back.
Soren pulled away. His face felt hot.
"Sorry," Lucas murmured. His lips were swollen.
"I'm afraid," Soren said, before he could censor himself. There were layers to his fears, he was discovering, and Lucas was peeling them off like an onion.
"Of this?" Lucas whispered back, moving his hand higher up Soren's back. He pressed it there, eyes questioning, as if to reassure Soren that he wasn't going to crash any gates without permission.
"Of how you make me feel, and what it means." Soren closed his eyes. "I've never…I mean, not like this. It's like there's no way to go back from it, now that I have this. "
Lucas pressed his forehead to Soren's, mirroring that earlier gesture. "Is that so bad?"
"No…it's just…I'll finally have to admit something to my parents," Soren mumbled. Even if he could bring himself to lie to his parents, he was a terrible liar. "I can't hide it anymore. And I'm scared."
Lucas took his hand, resisting Soren's reflexive attempt to lace fingers, and put it over his heart. Lucas's heart was pounding, tripping fast, but regular. "This is how you make me feel." His face was solemn. "I'm scared too."
"Why would you be scared?" Soren was astonished. Surely Lucas had done this, had been with somebody like this, many times over.
"I already know this isn't like the flirts I've had the past year and a half," Lucas responded, giving him a wry smile. "Do you know how hard that is to admit? This means something."
"Oh." Soren had no response for that, but it was all right. Lucas was leaning in, kissing him again.
Soren was dimly aware that he was kissing back just as hard. Lucas began to topple him over slowly, and they melted onto the softness of the couch until Lucas hovered over him, pale hair alight in the thin sunshine that gleamed through the windows. With both hands, Soren rea
ched up to bring him down.
"Stop?" Lucas murmured against his mouth.
"Mmm…" Soren's head felt thick. He nudged upward, aligning his mouth with Lucas's again. Why had he been afraid of this?
The front door banged open like a gunshot.
They jumped apart, scrambling on the sofa, but Lucas had Soren pinned, and the most they managed was a half-righted tangle of limbs.
"What the shit is this? Lucas? You brought home another new girl?"
Soren raked dark hair back from his face, his cheeks so hot he could taste blood, and got himself upright. His eyes were downcast. Lucas's hand was on his knee again.
"Well, if it isn't Jack," Lucas said levelly. "We haven't seen you for days, man."
Soren glanced up. The guy, probably one of Lucas's roommates, had shut the door with his heel and stood there rubbing his hands together. He was good-looking in a generic kind of way, square face, blue eyes under heavy brows, hair cropped short and bleached golden-blonde with very brown roots.
"Who's this?" Jack asked, eyes flickering over Soren, then back to Lucas.
"Soren, this is my roommate, Jack Wagner," Lucas said, squeezing his knee. "Jack, this is Soren Wilkenson."
"Whoa!" Jack's eyes widened comically. "Sorry, uh, I thought you were a really flat chick…I mean, you're with Lucas…didn't know you were gay, man."
Soren set his jaw, but managed a semblance of a smile. In a backhanded way, he supposed that was a compliment to him. Sort of.
"I'm not, but I don't have to be to date a guy," Lucas shot back, standing and holding a hand out to Soren. "Ever heard of bisexuals?"
Soren bit his lip, inwardly bristling at the comment but too uncomfortable to show it.
Jack's grin was sudden. "Fence-sitters. Uh, yeah, I never met one."
Soren accepted Lucas's hand and noticed out of the corner of his eye that Jack's grin had turned sickly.
"Well, you have now." Lucas gave his roommate a level stare, then Jack backed up and shrugged his coat off, moving for a row of coat-hooks on the wall by the door. "Come on, Soren, you want to see the rest of the apartment?"
"Uh, actually, I should probably go," Soren murmured to Lucas at close range, trying to keep it private between the two of them. The mood had been broken by Jack's entrance and he couldn't see rekindling it by moving to the bedroom. "Can you take me home?"