“Nope. It’s Monday.”
“Even worse.” He smiles at me. He’s got the bone structure of a God. “I’m Ryan.”
“Hi, Ryan. I’m Sacha.”
Zeus coughs. Yeah, right. Names. What am I supposed to do when he introduces himself, just stare at him like a psychopath?
Of course, staring at him wouldn’t be so bad.
He offers me a handshake, and I accept it. My hand vanishes in his big, strong grip.
“Nice to meet you. Is this your dog?”
Zeus sniffs. “Certainly not. I’m nobody’s belonging. If I belong to anyone, I belong to Death.”
Ryan slides his eyes from Zeus to me and back again. He’s taking it all in. Weird girl in a black dress and inappropriate heels? Check. Talking dog? Check. Freak industrial accident? Check, check, check.
“Okay,” he says with a shrug. “Why not?”
The world slides sideways, then we’re standing in the white foyer in front of the silver doors.
Ryan looks around with a low whistle. “Freakazoid,” he mutters to himself. “I never imagined Heaven would look like this.”
“Well… This isn’t actually Heaven. This is just where I take you so that your heart can be weighed.”
He looks at me like I’m out of my mind. “Weigh my heart?” he echoes incredulously. “Like, take it out of my chest and put it on a scale kind of thing?”
I want to tell him that it’s okay, and all the cool kids are doing it, but the flippant words die on my tongue. “Yeah.”
“Whoa. Radical.”
The door to the Room of Mirrors opens, and Death emerges. He sees Ryan and stops short, startled. They both speak the same question at the exact same time.
“Who is this?”
“Ryan, this is my boss. Death, Ryan.”
Death narrows his eyes into slits. “You brought the wrong one.”
“Yeah, I know…his name wasn’t on the list…”
“List?” Ryan repeats, looking between us.
We both ignore him, and I reply, “Something happened and he died instead.”
When Death speaks again, his voice is a growl. “What. Happened?”
His tone is slightly unnerving, making me feel as though I’ve done something wrong.
“Forgive me, Sacha,” he adds, softening his voice considerably. “What happened on earth?”
“Well, there was this hot wind, then a black shadow thingamajig. It was kinda shaped like a worm but less slimy. Anyway, it came whipping past me, and then the guy I was supposed to pick up didn’t get killed. Ryan did.”
Death looks at the dog standing by me. “This is because of interference?”
Zeus nods his furry white head. “Unfortunately.”
My boss isn’t having any of it. “Unacceptable!”
“You’re telling me!” Ryan huffs. “I’m not supposed to be dead. I’m supposed to be back home, with my family, helping my sister.”
I ask Ryan, “What’s going on with your sister?”
He looks down, a frown flitting over his face. “She’s being induced today. I’m her labor coach.”
Tears sting my eyes. He was never going to be there to help his sister, and I was never going to be there for my mom. That’s two births that are going to be completely ruined by grief. It makes me want to scream at the injustice of it all. It also makes me want to just sit down and bawl my eyes out. Somehow, I manage to not do either one.
Death shakes his head. “No. This is wrong. Sacha, you must help this soul cross over. He was taken too soon. Help him finish his business down on earth, then escort him to a standard Reaper for delivery.”
“A standard what, now?” Ryan echoes again.
I struggle not to laugh. “How do I find a Reaper, and what makes one standard? Do they all come with a universal charger or something?”
“You’ll recognize the Reapers when you see them,” Death advises, paying my hilarious joke no attention. “They’re not like you. You’re…special.”
I don’t feel special. Not at all.
Death once again turns his back and goes into the Room of Mirrors.
I let out a slightly frustrated sigh and face Ryan. “Okay, bud. Let’s get you back down to earth and see what we can do to put your affairs in order.”
“Is it really that easy?” Ryan probes, not appearing totally convinced. I glance down at Zeus; he, too, is giving me a skeptical look.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “But it’s worth a try.”
Ryan nods, and I feel almost as confident as I was pretending to be.
It’s obvious where we have to go, so I focus my mind on finding Ryan’s sister. The next moment, the three of us are in another hospital corridor. Given my new job description, I have a feeling I’m going to be spending a lot of time in places like this. It’s a good thing I’ve never been weirded out with anything death related, or else things would suck even more than they did when I was run over by a bus.
All for a lousy bag of carrot sticks!
We arrive too late to witness the birth, but we’re able to see Ryan’s sister cradling her newborn in her arms, her eyes wet with a combination of joy and sorrow. I imagine my mom will wear that exact look on her face when my sister is born, and my tears start to well up again. Zeus leans against my leg ever so slightly, and it’s almost enough to make me lose it completely. I barely keep the sobs under wraps, my neck stiffening from the effort.
Ryan is oblivious. I’m relieved; I don’t want to ruin this moment for him. He moves closer to his sister, walking through the chair that someone left there by the bedside. He doesn’t even notice that he just full-on ghosted through furniture, but I guess I don’t really blame him. He only has eyes for the baby bundled up in a pale blue blanket.
He leans closer, peering into the baby’s face, and his grin spreads from ear to ear. It’s infectious. His eyes quickly grow misty, too, and he looks up at me in delight.
“It’s a boy! I have a nephew.” He tries to put his arm around his sister, but he can’t touch her. She doesn’t even feel a chill, her attention completely rooted on her new bundle of joy. Ryan pulls his hand back, clenching his fist in frustration. He repeats in a wonderstruck voice, “I have a nephew.”
And it breaks my heart.
He looks so excited and happy, his whole face lit up like sunbeams. I briefly glance look away, not wanting to see him realize that this is the first and last time he’ll ever see his little nephew. But I know that the truth will have to dawn on him soon. It seems unfair that happiness like this can’t last forever. Once you’re dead, your existence is gone from the living world.
I would have been just as happy, if I’d been able to see my sister born. I would probably have been grinning as wide, being just as shiny-eyed and in love with the new life in front of me. We were supposed to have been together as a family to welcome her. I was going to help my mom after she came home, and we were going to watch my sister grow up.
Now I’ll never get to hold her.
The violent sobs that I’ve been trying to push away come rolling out of me, and I end up backing away from the happy scene. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the noise, but I’m keening, and I can’t stop. It all comes down on me, just like the ton of bricks that flattened Ryan today: being hit by the bus, having my heart repeatedly torn out of my chest, being shoved into an afterlife I never even contemplated, and losing everything I knew and loved in a split second. I have never felt so alone.
I make it out into the corridor just in time. I’m really doing the ugly cry now, so much so that I’m having a hard time standing up. I lean against the wall and slide down it until I’m a crumpled, weeping mess on the floor. Zeus comes over and leans his broad chest against me, hooking his fuzzy chin over my shoulder and giving me the best hug that dog treats can buy. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his ruff, wetting his fur with my tears. He lets me cling to him, and he’s more or less holding me up. The sobs come harder and ha
rder, and I almost wish I didn’t have my heart back. If Death was still holding it, maybe I wouldn’t feel it breaking like this. Maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain.
Ryan comes out of the room, a look of concern on his handsome face. I didn’t mean to pull him away from his family, and the fact that I did makes it all so much worse. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but I actually start crying even harder, until I’m not just a soggy mess, I’m also hiccoughing.
The enormous football player crouches beside me and puts his big hand on my shoulder. I want to pull away from him, but I’d have to let go of Zeus to do that, and there’s just no way I’m giving up my furry hug pillow right now.
When I think I might be able to get a grip, Zeus starts licking the tears away from my face. It’s so incredibly sweet and loving that I lose it all over again.
“Sacha,” Ryan whispers, his hot breath tickling my face. “What’s wrong?”
I can’t talk yet. I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively, completely failing to communicate to him that he should go back in with his sister and his nephew.
“Come on,” he urges, gently shaking my shoulder. “Talk to me.”
I try, but I can’t make words come out. Zeus takes pity and explains, “Her mother is pregnant and she won’t be able to see her sister born.”
“Oh.” He looks through the open door into his sister’s room, then he turns back. “I’m sorry.”
I nod and pull away. Zeus lets me go with one last pass of his tongue over my cheek. I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands, pressing hard, as if that will stop the tears. It doesn’t, of course. I’m not sure anything ever will.
Just when I think the situation is at its absolute worst, who should show up but Deacon. He’s got a tiny white-haired old lady trailing along behind him, wearing a flannel nightgown with little blue flowers on it. She looks like she can barely see, and she’s holding on to his arm. He’s helping her walk, which is surprising. Here I was thinking he’d throw the granny at me head first.
If Deacon says one rude thing to me right now, I’m going to take his eyes out with my fingers.
To my vast surprise, Deacon actually seems worried. “What’s wrong?”
“My sis had a little boy,” Ryan says proudly, “but it reminded Sacha of her own family.”
Deacon scowls. “What about your family?”
He knows nothing about me. At this point, I don’t want him to know anything about me.
The old lady leans forward. “What did you say, sonny?”
Ryan tells them, “Her mom’s pregnant, and she won’t be able to be there to watch her family grow. She’s upset, and I totally get it. I would be, too. I mean…” He glances over his shoulder at his sister and his nephew. “I am.”
He heaves a deep sigh that speaks volumes for us both.
The old lady squints. “What does her family know? Where am I? I thought you were taking me to collect my prescription? I need those drops for my ears, sonny.”
Deacon’s face goes soft for a second, and wow, the look in his eyes is actually understanding. I am totally unprepared for that, so I don’t know how to react. I just sit there and sniffle, hoping he can’t tell I was crying.
Ryan hands me his handkerchief, and I accept it, trying to clean up the mess I’ve made of my face.
Deacon says softly, “I didn’t know.”
I can only nod.
“You died today, didn’t you?” Ryan asks.
Again, I nod, words still refusing to form.
He scratches his head, appearing somewhat perplexed. “I thought I was the only noob,” the football player tells us. “You guys, too?”
Deacon laughs, but it’s a bitter sound. “Oh, no. I died a long time ago.” His scowl returns. “I died three days ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I finally manage to gasp. “I don’t mean to ruin this for you, Ryan. And Deacon…I’m sorry you died.”
He gives me that shockingly understanding look again. “I’m sorry you died, too, especially with this thing with your mom.”
Hades appears out of thin air, coming into existence mid-stride. He stops short when he sees me sitting on the floor like a puddle of used rags.
Ryan sits down beside me and puts his arm around my shoulder. I let him, because it feels nice, and he’s good looking, and he smells like pricey aftershave. “I think I know what’ll make you feel better,” he murmurs, his voice gruff.
I sniff. “What?”
“Well, we’re here putting my business in order, right? All I needed was to see my sis and her baby. I think maybe you need the same thing, then I’ll go.”
The old lady starts to wander off, and Deacon grabs her hand, keeping her with him. She smiles at him, and he sighs.
“Listen, you can’t do that,” Deacon argues. “If you think you’re hurting now, just…it’ll be ten times worse if you see them again. Trust me.” He tries to smile, but it falters. “Voice of experience.”
“I think it’ll help,” Ryan defends, sharpening his features.
“Who asked you?” Deacon snaps.
“Guys…” I point to the window above my head.
The old lady is peering into Ryan’s sister’s room, her wrinkly face blossoming into a smile. “Ooh, a baby!”
She starts to shuffle in, and Deacon lets her go. Hades follows her closely, giving my coworker a hard look over his shoulder.
I straighten up, and I’m actually a little disappointed to peel my head off Ryan’s shoulder. It was amazingly comforting to be held like that. He’s so big and warm and handsome and…
Girl, you’ve gotta get a hold of yourself. He’s a ghost, and you’re an Angel of Death. Your job is to help him step into the light. Not into your bed.
I scowl at my own derisive thoughts. As if I really needed a reminder that dating is off limits when you’re undead.
At least Death can’t hear my thoughts down here. That’s a relief.
[I wouldn’t place a bet on that, Sacha.]
I pale at Death’s hoarse voice running through my head.
I didn’t mean it like that! I just…umm… Gah, I’m sorry. Please ignore me!
Ryan hops to his feet and gives me a hand up.
“You know what? I think you’re right.” I swipe a hand over my face, wiping the tear stains from my cheeks. “I think that I do need to say goodbye.”
Deacon shakes his head and warns, “I’m telling you, Sacha, that’s a bad idea. But do whatever the hell you want. The more mistakes you make, the closer I am to becoming his true apprentice.”
Ryan frowns at him. “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, man, just keep quiet.” Smiling at me, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “If you want to go see your mama, baby girl, I am right behind you. I’ll be there with you the whole time.”
“No, you won’t,” my fellow apprentice objects. “You’re going to be judged.”
“I was already there. Death told me I have to cross over. Well, I don’t want to. So I’m staying with her. That’s the unfinished business I have now.”
“Why?”
Deacon and I both say it at the same time. Jinx.
Ryan grins. “Have you looked in the mirror lately? I may be dead, but I’m not dumb!”
I blush at his words, but try to control my voice. “This is really a bad time for flirting.”
Ryan shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear. “There’s no bad time for flirting.”
Zeus snorts. “That all depends upon whom you ask.”
“Well, I’d ask Sacha, here,” he replies, waggling his thick brows at me.
I sigh. “Ryan, you have to cross over—”
“And leave you here? With him?” He flicks his chin toward Deacon, and shakes his head. “No can do, pretty lady.”
Deacon glares at him. “Are you fucking joking me?”
“I’m serious,” Ryan states, hardening his voice. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
Hades escorts the old lady back out into the hal
lway and over to Deacon. She hooks her liver-spotted hand through the crook of his elbow. He groans but doesn't shove her away.
“I’m going to see my family,” I tell my coworker, “whether you like it or not.”
He looks at me in what almost appears like desperation. Why? Why does he even care? He’s been nothing but a jerk to me all day. “Is there anything I can do to talk you out of this?”
I set my jaw, lifting my head a little. “No.”
“Fine.” He grumbles under his breath, then says to our souls, “Mrs. Spencer, and…you…”
“Ryan,” the footballer grits out.
“Whatever. Just stay behind me.”
Before I can will it to happen, I’m standing in my family’s kitchen. Deacon is right behind me, the dogs flanking him, and behind them are Ryan and Mrs. Spencer.
I couldn’t care less about who came with me, though.
I’m here to see my family.
The kitchen smells like burned toast, which tells me that Mackenzie has been trying to cook again. He is the most cursed cook I’ve ever met, and his specialty is incinerating bread. Toasters hate him. They break whenever he so much as looks at them, and his burned toast is infamous in our family.
It’s just one of the little idiosyncratic things I’m going to miss.
Mackenzie is standing at the counter, smearing butter and jam on bread that’s been sent into an early grave. The knife skitters across the carbonized surface like it’s concrete, and it makes about the same sort of sound. He puts the toast on a saucer and carries it into my mom’s bedroom.
I numbly follow him.
Mom is lying on her side of the bed, her legs curled up as much as they can be around her massive baby bump. Her face is pale and splotchy from crying, and she’s staring at the wall like it’s not even there. Mackenzie sits down on the edge of the bed.
“I made you some toast, Mom,” he says in a sad, soft voice. Tears prick my eyes. I just want to hug him. “You need to eat something.”
It’s like she doesn’t hear him. He sits and holds the saucer for a while. Finally she whispers, “I’m not hungry, baby.”
Oh, God. This is horrible.
I now know why Deacon didn’t want me to see this. I’m filled with guilt from seeing their pain, and I want to kick myself into oblivion for being so stupid and careless. Why didn’t I look before I stepped out into that street? Why do I have to think with my stomach all the time? If I’d been paying attention, I wouldn’t have been mowed down, and none of this would be happening.
Grim (Death's Apprentice Book 1) Page 5