Breathing Air

by Emily James Taylor

  My hand clenches into a fist as Adaline walks away with Tobias. I’m itching to listen in on their conversation. I really want to know what Tobias has up his sleeve. Yes, he’s the one that brought us here and he’s who we rely on for information from Earth but he’s a loose cannon. He does things without consulting anyone. It’s not like I have any control over him, he never really integrated himself here. The last few months are the longest he’s ever been here and he still popped out of here at least once a month.

  A few weeks ago, he discovered that Adaline left the small town he left her in and moved to Philadelphia. He was pissed, he never wanted her to know about this life. He took her away from his partners, from her mom, for that reason. I could never get out of him exactly why this life was so wrong for her. Even if he needed to get her away from both parties, why wasn’t our sanctuary on Alt Earth good enough for her? I always get the feeling from him that he’s running from something else but he has yet to trust any of us with any information.

  Is it wrong of me to be amused that his plans got screwed up? He’s always so in control. At least he always tries to come off that way. So it’s fun to see a wrench thrown in his plans, since he tells me all the time I need to let loose. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

  Now Adaline is presenting me the perfect opportunity to go after everything I’ve wanted since my dad was murdered. Maybe I need to take this leap. But does this mean that I’m using her? Having a nucleus was never a part of my plans when I decided to go after Horus. I honestly figured that I’d go out like my father, only I wasn’t going to have anyone to leave behind like he did. So what the fuck am I doing?

  Finally, I catch up to Kevin as he turns down the street to our cabin. He’s kept up such a quick pace that I practically had to jog to catch him. Still, he keeps up his pace.

  “Look, Kev,” I plead, “I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear from Adaline but don’t you want a real chance at getting Naomi out? If we go now, without help, it’s a suicide mission.”

  He just shakes his head and keeps walking. I pick up my pace and stop my body in front of his. “Come on man, talk to me.”

  Ignoring me, he moves around me to continue forward but thankfully he finally starts to talk. “Don’t you think it’ll be harder to get in with so many people? If it’s just the three of us, we have more of a chance of not being seen. Our new partner shouldn’t be helping to make decisions without our input.”

  I just roll my eyes at his last statement. “Is that what this is about, Emmanuel telling her to do something different than you?”

  He lets out a huff. “No, it’s not but he has no idea who Naomi is, of course, he could care less about helping us get her back.”

  Now that he has slowed down his pace, I’m able to walk beside him. He has his thinking face on which makes him look constipated. “You know I love Naomi. She’s treated me like family forever. But we need to be smart about getting her back. Come on man, you know Adaline cares about her. She wouldn’t be doing this unless she thought this was the best way.”

  “We don’t really know her that well yet, Nolan. It’s been less than three weeks,” he turns to walk up to the cottage.

  I stop short, shocked by his words. “What’s wrong with you? She hasn’t done anything to make us question her loyalty to us.”

  He turns towards me as he unlocks the door. “She just did.” He walks inside and slams the door shut behind him.

  I can’t bring myself to go inside after him. I don’t think there is any chance I can get through to him right now. Shaking my head, I rub my fingers across my forehead trying to think about how to handle this. Realizing he needs time to come to his senses, the only thing I can do is give him that time and try to get through to him later if he doesn’t wisen up.

  Turning around, I meander back to the market at a slow pace. I’m comparing this Alt-Earth to what I’m familiar with trying to distract myself from my heavy thoughts. A couple walking their child brings a smile to face and I wave at them. The little girl is carrying a back full of food and she shoots me a big grin, but her parents wave back. I wonder if they’re part of a quad, but have only found each other and their partners are still on Earth. Emmanuel’s earlier statement about a friend comes to mind. Maybe they just formed a relationship together without a bond. Would their lives be ruined if they had to go back to Earth. If they find their nucleus, the pull for the partner is undeniable. They wouldn’t be able to resist. Being with Adaline makes me feel complete. Do they feel like they’re missing something?

  Strolling past the vendors, I take in all the foods they have to offer. The one that catches my eyes is the butcher, he hangs meat that is blue in color and with some deep purple veins. The first time I tried the meat was before the pavilion meeting. Kevin prepared some plates for us and we sat and stared at it for a few minutes. It was blue and we were unsure but as soon as I put it in my mouth, my taste buds jumped for joy. It tasted like the expensive meat you get at a grocery store where the cows have been grass fed or some shit like that. My stomach growls as I continue past the stands.

  In the pavilion, I spot Emmanuel eating lunch. Taking a seat across from him, I examine his platter of food. Cut up fruits and vegetables as well as what looks like red crackers with pink cheeses. Emmanuel pushes the platter in my direction, and I grab a cracker and top it with cheese and a piece of the dark green segrin. It tastes like grapes to me, but it pulls apart like an orange. Thankfully, I know at least one of these food items on the platter.

  “So does Kevin hate me for changing Adaline’s mind?” I swallow the food in my mouth and clear my throat while trying to think of the right response. Does he really think the reason Kevin’s acting this way is solely because of him?

  “Kevin’s in a tough spot right now,” I answer him in measured words. “His sister and her partners are arrested, his mother ordered it, and he’s stuck here unable to do anything about it. It has nothing to do with you. Don’t go around thinking you’re the reason Adaline changed her mind, she’s a good person and you told her she could help everyone. You better not be using her. I agree we need to wait and if it helps having everyone get involved so we have a backup, I will continue to support this decision. Don’t think you have control over Adaline or any of us.”

  He holds up his hands in surrender, “I didn’t mean anything by that comment.” His hands fall to the platter and he picks at it. “I just wanted to know if I needed to say anything to him, even apologize. I’m sure I have no influence on any of you guys.”

  I run my fingers through my hair and flip it over, mulling over his words and my continuing distrust of this guy. It’s hard to see the good guy everyone around here sees while he basically is rejecting us. I can tell he wants Adaline, he can’t help but when she’s around. It’s like that for all of us. Deep down, I know he’s a good guy… or at least I’m pretty sure of it. He obviously cares about the people here. Something must have happened to him, something is keeping him from going all in. I can’t let my frustration with him get in the way, I need to try with this guy. Make him see how genuinely happy he can be with Adaline and us as partners. We won’t be strong enough for what’s to come without him. “So what the hell do you do for fun around here?”

  He just laughs out loud. “I don’t know how to have fun. You probably should ask someone else.”

  Pulling back the curtain, I watch out the window to see if Nolan is going to follow me inside. After a few minutes, he just shakes his head and turns to walk back the way we came. I thought at least he would agree with me. Pain slices though my heart as he turns his back on me… and leaves. The past few years I’m the one that’s been there for him. I’ve cleaned him up after a long night of partying. I’ve helped with his dates and sent them home after I cooked them breakfast, even though I disagreed with what he was doing. I’m always there for him, so why can’t he be there for me?

  I get that Adaline is our nucleus. The other night with her was amazing. She
allowed me to be in control. I let Nolan fill that role in our everyday lives because he needs it after the way his father treated him growing up. But alone with her, I can get the authority I crave. I can be the dominant finally. It felt right, she was tight and so wet. There’s nothing in all the porn I watched that prepared me for her hot, wet pussy. In that moment, I almost told her that I love her. I’m glad, no, relieved that I didn’t.

  Yes, we are supposed to put our group first, protect our nucleus but aren’t my concerns and feelings included in that? Plopping on the couch, I repeatedly run my fingers through my hair. I can’t sit still. Concerns about my sister, and the state of my relationship with my nucleus and my best friend swirl through my head.

  What am I supposed to do now? I need to help Naomi. Waiting around and letting Nolan and Adaline be in charge isn’t going to help her anytime soon. She’s my twin, I’ve always had her around. Before Adi, Nao was the other half to my soul. When Nao isn’t around, it’s like a piece of me is missing. She stayed in Philadelphia at first to help me get settled then she stayed longer because Nolan was slowly losing himself and she didn’t want me to feel alone. I should have told her to leave a long time ago. I was too selfish. She had so much open to her and I had nothing. Without a nucleus, I was never welcomed home for events, I was cut off. If I had just let her be happy, she would have left a long time ago and she would never have gotten involved in our situation with Adi.

  What a fucking prick I turned out to be.

  It’s my fault she’s arrested. I have to do something. What if I can get in and out of the New York safe house without anyone to help me? If it’s just me, I don’t have to worry about what everyone that comes with me is doing . Besides, it’s more likely that one person can get in and out rather than three. The only problem is, I can’t get off this damn planet without Adaline opening a portal for me. If she’s against the three of us trying then she definitely won’t be okay with me going there alone. I don’t think I can talk her into it. So how the hell am I going to do this?

  “Look, sweetheart, I know you probably hate me for never telling you about this life but I never wanted you to be a part of it.” Dad lets out a sigh as we continue walking away from the market. I don’t even have to look back to know everyone’s watching me. Hell, I can practically feel their eyeballs staring at my retreating back. I can’t wait for something new to happen around here, I’m tired of feeling like one of those animals in a zoo exhibit. “You’ve found three of your partners, I have some hideaways on Earth, why don’t you guys just go there? Or better yet, stay here and just be with each other forever. Just forget about everything else?”

  “So you want me to be selfish and a liar like you?” I retort, rolling my eyes as I rub the side of my face. I can’t help it, his words bring back the abandonment I felt when I realized he left me with that woman when he could have brought me here, to this safe haven. “I’m not running away from this. I get you wanted to protect me but you left me vulnerable. You should be glad I ended up with Kevin and Nolan. Anything could have happened to me. You’re the one that left.”

  He stops walking and pulls on my shoulders to force me to face him. “I checked up on you all the time. You never were truly alone.”

  Is he freaking serious? “You checked up on me? So you saw the way Brenda treated me and what? You were fine with it?”

  “I hated the way she was but I figured it would make you want to leave and never stay in contact. That’s why I married her in the first place. I knew I would eventually end up back in this mess so I wanted to give you the push to leave, to start over with some guy and have a family. Be normal. Not end up with other Alchemists,” he brings his hands up to my face and holds it. “I love you, Adaline. You mean everything to me. I don’t want this life for you. It’s too painful.”

  I push away from him and pace the dirt path. “What would have happened if I ended up with a man I loved who would age normally? He eventually would have noticed that his wife still looked eighteen while he aged. What about me? I would have had to watch someone I loved age and eventually die.”

  “I know,” he sighs. “I just hoped everything would be settle down here by now and I would finally be able to tell you. Plus, you knew you had me for a dad. I figured you could just say you had good genes.”

  I let out a frustrated huff, give him a pointed look and continue my pacing. “Well you always said you guys were sixteen when you had me. Mom left because she felt she was too young to have a kid. So you ended up being a young single dad.”

  “See, so it could have worked.” I give him another look and he lifts his hands at me and shrugs his shoulders.

  “Yeah, but eventually you would have had to leave Brenda when it became noticeable.”

  He shrugs his shoulders. Again. “That was always the plan.” Wow, he really had no feelings for her. Honestly, I don’t want to get into this any further.

  But one thought still lingers in my head. “Dad. The car accident. What exactly happened? Why did you choose to fake your death then?” I ask curious why he choose then to leave.

  “Those were Horus officers in the other car, one died on impact the other followed me and I was able to push him through a portal. I went back and destroyed any evidence proving I was still alive and then ran. I couldn't let them know you existed.” He smiles down at me. “You are the single most important thing to me. I had to protect you. Don’t you see, all of this was for you.” He finishes with more emphasis on each word then he started with both his hands outstretched to me. It’s nice he still wants to keep me safe but I’m not a kid that needs to be locked away and ignorant of what’s going on. I’m not going to be that person ever again.

  “None of that matters anymore, Dad. I know now and I can’t run away from this problem. What about you, though? How were you going to fix everything if you just keep running away? Because that’s what you’re doing. Yes, you did a great thing getting people to Alt Earth and away from everything but that’s all you’ve done. Everyone in Horus thinks you’re a coward and I don’t even know about Osiris. Does my mom or any of your other partners even know that you took me out of there alive? Or did they believe I died in childbirth like everyone else?”

  “Well they probably know you’re alive now,” he mumbles. I cover my face with my hands as I let out a low scream. I run my fingers through my hair not caring how my bun is looking now.

  “Who are they?” I ask as I force my eyes to look at him.

  “Your birth Mom is Jeanine Forest, and your other mothers were Tabitha Quincy, and Jody Travis. Charles Thompson is your other dad.”

  “Travis? Where have I heard that last name before?”

  “Jody is Jerome Travis’s sister. He’s the leader of Osiris.” He chews his lips before he continues. “You can meet them when you give Jerome a visit.”

  I look at him surprised. “I’m going to see Jerome?”

  “He can give you the backup you need to go after Horus and Thomas,” Dad suggests. I ponder this, realizing it might not be a bad idea. I’ll need more information, so I wave my hand for him to continue. “He’s your uncle, he would never harm you. In fact, he’ll be over the moon to see you. If you have them on your side, you can win Adaline. I’m so sorry for everything. Please know I may have been stupid hiding you from everyone but I only wanted good things for you.” He looks sincere as he speaks, and also a little sad. Sighing, I realize he thought he was doing what he thought was best for me. And that I forgive him. Why am I able to forgive him so easily?

  Slowly, I walk over to him and give him a hug. His shoulders relax a little as he wraps his arms around me. “I love you Dad, even though I’m still pissed. Nothing will stop me from wanting you in my life. Will you come with us?”

  “They don’t want to see me sweetheart. I will face them eventually but you’ll have better luck without me there. They live in Naples, Italy.”

  I guess we are going back to Earth sooner than I thought.

  Leaving my
father behind, I make my way back to the pavilion. My thoughts are running mad through my head. Man, not only is there a possibility we can rescue Naomi, but I’m apparently going to meet the family I never knew I had. And my mother. I’ll finally see what she looks like. I never thought I would ever want to come face to face with her, thinking she abandoned me. Now that I know that’s not the case, it’s hard to reconcile all the hatred I felt for her. It’s hard to let go of all the resentment I held on to over the years.

  As I walk past a vendor selling rinkberry, a deep, warm laugh echoes from the pavilion. Nolan and Emmanuel are sitting at a table, deep in conversation. Nolan waves his hands in the air animatedly and a deep chuckle rumbles from Emmanuel’s chest. A smile forms on my face at the sight of at least two of my partners getting along. I can’t help but wonder why Nolan isn’t with Kevin. Frustrated, I stomp over to them.

  “Nolan, you’re supposed to be with Kevin. Where is he?” I demand without any pleasantries.

  “He’s at the house, Adaline,” he answers, his entire demeanor changing instantly. “He wants to be left alone. So let’s just let him be.” Emmanuel and Nolan both turn their bodies to face me. They glance at each other. I think they’re both trying to decide who should greet me.

  “Okay, that’s fine.” I respond, feeling tired suddenly. I sit down at an open table near where they’re standing. “Emmanuel, can you ask the Alchemists here if any are willing to join us against Horus? I would like an idea before Nolan, Kevin and I leave for Earth.”

  “Wait, you guys are leaving soon?” Emmanuel asks with raised eyebrows. I don’t know why he’s so shocked. I have to do something to save my friend from Thomas Nolan.