by Emily Lowry
Mom’s gaze flitted between us.
Tyler put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “Well, we’ve been arguing about this a lot recently, and maybe you can help us decide. See, before the Christmas tree competition, we had another date. It was just a walk on High Street. Some ice cream, a stroll along the edge of the ocean, you know, very simple. But Nina doesn’t think it was a date.”
“Because you never said it was a date,” I snapped. I hoped Mom would buy this story.
“Because I thought it was obvious,” Ty said, laughing. “But then, I went to drop her off — and I was going to walk her to the door to be a gentleman — but before I could, she said that she could take it from there. And she gave me a high five.”
Even though that had never happened, my cheeks burned.
My mom tittered. “Oh, Neen, that sounds exactly like you.”
What was I supposed to say to that? I couldn’t defend myself without incriminating both of us. Instead, I decided to just play along. “I didn’t think it was a date. I thought Zoe was coming.”
Ty rubbed my back. It felt so good that it gave me goosebumps. His warm hands on me, his smell, his closeness… it was intoxicating.
“It was kind of my fault,” Tyler admitted. “I wasn’t super clear. After the Christmas light fiasco, I was scared that she didn’t feel the same way. I thought she’d say no if she knew that I meant it to be an actual date. If she knew that I wanted something real, I was worried that she’d reject me and I’d embarrass myself. I guess it was easier for me to let her think that we were just friends.”
Tyler was so good on his feet. So good under pressure. I wished I could be like that.
“Well, that is a wonderful story,” Mom said, breaking off another piece of gingerbread. “I hope you come to the Christmas Eve party.”
“Absolutely,” Tyler said.
35
Tyler
After we finished answering Nina’s mom’s barrage of questions, we were free to move around the train unimpeded. We demolished a gingerbread pyramid, then grabbed two glasses of eggnog and returned to a private passenger compartment. I sat in the booth by the window, and Nina nestled in the crook of my arm.
“This is good,” Nina said. “It looks real in case Mom walks by.”
“That’s why I’m doing it,” I whispered. But who was I trying to convince? Her or myself? It felt so right to be holding her against me as we watched the mountains pass. Just over the steady sound of the wheels rolling on the tracks, we could hear the choir singing “Silent Night.”
“You did pretty good in there,” I said. “Could almost believe that we were a real couple.”
“Almost,” Nina said. “How did you come up with all of those stories?”
That was a difficult question to answer. I’d been thinking about me and Nina for a while now. I wondered what it would be like if our relationship wasn’t fake. If I’d realized how awesome she was before we made this deal, would I have asked her out? And if I asked her out, how would I have done it? That’s where the Christmas light idea came from.
But, it felt like it was too late for us to start something real. Plus, I had to remember that this wasn’t an actual relationship — no matter how much it felt like one.
So, instead of telling her, I blurred the truth. “I thought your mom might want a bit of a backstory, so I planned it out.”
“Thank you,” Nina said. “For taking this seriously. And now, thanks to you, when the Christmas Eve party comes, I won’t have to kiss anyone.”
“Nope, you won’t have to kiss anyone.” As I said the words, a shroud of disappointment settled on my shoulders. Even though I knew that I wasn’t going to the Christmas Eve party, I was still excited about the idea. I would’ve loved to have been Nina’s date… her real date.
Right then, I knew that this fake relationship couldn’t go on any longer. I needed to tell her how I felt. But just before I could, she spoke.
“And don’t worry,” Nina said. “I’ll make an excuse that makes you look good. Then we can break up, and things can go back to the way they were. I get to fly solo again, which is what I want.”
Oh.
“You deserve to get what you want,” I said. I squeezed her shoulder, leaned over, and kissed the top of her head.
“What was that for?” she said softly.
“Your mom walked by,” I lied.
Together, we sat in silence, listening to the steady drum of the wheels over the tracks, and the Christmas choir in the background. I needed to savor every moment, because our fake relationship wouldn’t last much longer.
36
Nina
Like every high school, Beachbreak had its flaws. Weekend detentions, grumpy teachers, questionable graffiti in the bathrooms. But one thing Beachbreak High could not be faulted on was its breakfast service. In the hour before class started, the cafeteria served orange juice, oatmeal, breakfast sandwiches, pancakes, and – my favorite – warm Danish pastries.
With ten minutes to kill before American History, I made a beeline for the cafeteria, hoping they weren’t sold out of raspberry Danishes.
Standing in line, it looked like there was one left. As long as the girl in front of me didn’t—
“One raspberry Danish,” the girl said.
I glared at the back of her head.
The girl took her Danish and turned with a flourish.
Oh.
It was her.
Parker smiled at me. “Nina. I didn’t see you there.”
I was surprised that Parker was willing to eat a carb. I nodded curtly. “Parker.”
“Walk with me.”
“I haven’t got my—”
“You can have mine,” Parker said, shoving the Danish in my hands. “I have something to show you and there’s no time to waste.”
Mildly suspicious of Parker, I took a bite of the Danish. Warm. Flaky. Sweet.
Perfection.
“There are some things you need to know,” Parker said.
Ugh. Not this again. “Listen, Parker—”
She pointed towards a table on the other side of the cafeteria.
And that’s when I saw Tyler. He was casually sprawled on top of a table. Amber sat next to him, shielding her eyes from the morning sun. Her blond hair was in a loose bun today — the kind of messy bun that looks effortlessly chic on a certain type of girl. When I tried to do my hair like that, I looked homeless.
Amber chatted animatedly. She looked so pretty, so confident, so perfect for Tyler. It hurt to watch.
Tyler smiled back at her. He was holding something in his hand. A piece of paper.
I squinted, trying to get a better look. The piece of paper had a heart on it.
My own heart did a nosedive.
It was the note from his locker.
What did that note say? Did Amber write Tyler a love note? Or, worse, did Tyler write it for Amber? Was he about to give it to her?
I inhaled sharply. Why was this so painful to watch? I’d always had an inkling that Tyler was interested in Amber. I knew that he could never think of me like that. Didn’t I?
“I don’t know if you guys are exclusive, but they look awfully close, don’t you think?” Parker asked. “I know if he was my boyfriend, I’d be upset.”
I glanced at Parker, then at my raspberry Danish, which was turning to ash in my mouth. I silently willed my hands not to shake. How had Parker planned this? Had she sent Amber over? Or was this just a “happy” accident?
Parker patted my shoulder like she was consoling a child. “I’m not one to judge, but you better put that dog back in his house before he runs off with someone else.”
I pulled away from her, took a deep breath, and glanced back at Tyler and Amber for a moment. They were laughing together.
I set my jaw, resolute. Tyler liked Amber. That much was clear.
And Tyler and I needed to break up. Soon. I knew that.
Breaking up was always part of the plan
. And Parker needed to feel that she was responsible for the breakup. At the very least, this encounter was a good way to get the ball rolling.
I watched Tyler and Amber flirt, numb. “I guess I was wrong.”
Parker’s eyes flashed wickedly, but her expression remained carefully neutral. “Oh, Nina. I was worried that this would happen. Dating someone out of your league can often end in tears.”
“I thought he really liked me,” I whispered, looking at the ground. Parker had to buy that this relationship was real, so she would leave Tyler alone in the future. And for her to really buy it, she was going to have to believe that I was devastated.
“It was too soon, Nina, that’s all.” Parker’s voice was full of fake, sugary sweet reassurance. “He obviously wasn’t over me dumping him when you guys got together.”
“But he said he liked me. He acted like he liked me. He was so sweet.” Why was I suddenly feeling teary?
“That’s what boys do. They act sweet to get girls.” Parker could barely disguise the glee in her tone.
I continued to stare at the floor. “I really liked him. So much. Too much.”
I didn’t even have to act. My words were true. And my eyes were beginning to sting.
“Other boys will come along,” Parker said. “Boys who are more suited to girls like you.”
I raised my head to look at Parker. One last opportunity to convince her that I hadn’t been faking this entire thing with Tyler.
When I met her eyes, the lone tear that escaped and spilled down my cheek was very real.
37
Tyler
Mason and I were lifelong best friends for many reasons. He was a great guy — honest, kind, funny, and he always had your back. We could talk about things that actually mattered. Family. Life plans. And, before Mason started dating Zoe, we talked about girls.
A lot.
We did that less now. If my little sister had to date anyone, I was glad that it was Mason. But that didn’t mean that I had to know everything about their relationship. Sometimes, Mason forgot that he wasn’t just talking to his best friend – he was talking to his girlfriend’s older brother.
And there were stories that I didn’t want to hear.
We were in his car, headed for the big mall on the highway outside of town. We both hated shopping, but Christmas meant buying presents. And we had a gift recipient in common this year: Zoe.
“I wish I knew what to get her.” Mason ran his hands around the edge of the steering wheel. “She’s so good with gifts, and I’m drawing a total blank. It’s not like my sister. I can just bribe her with a chicken ranch wrap.”
I laughed. “Let me know if you think of a good idea so I can steal it. Last year’s Christmas gift didn’t go over so well.”
“Dude, you got her a Slap Chop.”
“She kept talking about how long it took her to do food prep!”
Mason rolled his eyes. “Yeah… but a Slap Chop?”
“The infomercial said it was good,” I grumbled. “Guess I won’t get her ‘Graty’ this year.”
“What the heck is a ‘Graty?’”
“It’s like Slap Chop. But for cheese.”
“Dude, she can just use a cheese grater,” Mason said, laughing. “Stop taking gift advice from TV.”
“Got it. I’ll get her a Shake Weight.”
“Man oh man…” Mason shook his head, chuckling. “I don’t even know when Zoe and I are doing our gift exchange. Probably not at my place. She’s been super awkward ever since Dad walked in on us making out on the kitchen counter.”
“Dude. Some things I don’t need to hear.”
Mason took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at me. “My bad.”
I laughed. “Focus on the road. And I love her, but let’s not talk about my sister for at least five minutes.”
“Great.” Mason grinned and returned his gaze to the highway. “Let’s talk about Nina.”
I sighed. Talking about Nina was an even less appealing conversation topic. “What about her?”
“Well, what’s going on in the land of fake relationships that look suspiciously real to everyone observing?” He exited the highway and turned right. The mall was just up ahead.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” Mason smirked.
He was right. But no way was I admitting that. “I don’t. It’s a fake relationship to solve a purpose. Parker buys it. Nina’s mom buys it. All that’s left to do now is break up.”
“And how does that make you feel?” Mason asked, like he was suddenly a psychologist.
“Dude, it makes me feel nothing. It was meant to happen like this all along.”
“Too bad,” Mason said. “You guys looked good together. Zoe was hoping there was more to it than this dumb plan.”
“She was?”
“I was too. Think of all the double dates we could’ve gone on.” Mason pulled neatly into a parking spot and turned the car off. Then he looked at me. Really looked at me. “You sure you felt nothing for her? Nothing at all?”
I swallowed. “Nina’s awesome. And it’s been fun. But time’s up.”
“You sound like an after-school special.” Mason rolled his eyes. “If she’s so great, why not go for it? Make it real?”
I shook my head. “Nina’s made it clear she doesn’t want a boyfriend. She likes being single. All she wanted was to get out of kissing this Edward guy.”
Mason sighed, shrugged. “All right.”
I opened the car door and got out, suddenly needing the fresh air.
38
Nina
December was always one of the coldest months in Southern California. At night, the temperatures sometimes got chilly enough to warrant a proper winter coat. And, if you were a total wuss like me, a hat, gloves and a scarf too.
I was always freezing in winter — I wouldn’t have fared well living in New England or Colorado.
Callie, however, seemed completely immune to the cold as we strolled along the pier by Highline Beach. Due to the frigid weather, it wasn’t crowded with its usual throng of tourists.
While I pulled up my parka’s hood, cursing the momentary lapse in sanity that led me to agree to go for a walk, Callie was skipping along in a light sweater, jeans, and Converse.
“I’m sure the hot dog stand is still open,” she said.
I glanced at my watch. “At 9pm in the middle of winter? I’m sure you’re delusional.”
She laughed, a sunny sound that juxtaposed the icy breeze. “Nah, just hungry.”
Callie was always hungry.
Most of the entertainment booths, rides, and food stalls along the pier were closed, locked up for the night. But, incredibly, Callie was right. Frank’s Frankenfurters was open.
“Called it,” Callie said, darting up to order. She gave the grumpy man behind the counter an enormous smile. “Two foot-long chili dogs with cheese. Jalapenos, Nina?”
I nodded.
“And jalapenos. Please.”
“That’ll be $8.50, darlin’.” Despite the man’s best efforts to look surly, he cracked a smile back at her. Callie had that effect on people.
We wandered over to the edge of the pier while we waited for our hot dogs. Below us, the black waves crashed angrily on the shore, spraying a halo of foam into the air.
“How’s loverboy?” Callie asked, crossing her eyes at me.
“He’s good,” I said, snickering.
“What’s going on with you two now that your mom’s bought the whole thing?”
I wrapped my parka tighter around me, no longer laughing. “I guess we need to break up.”
Callie frowned. “Do you want to break up?”
“Order up!”
Callie squeezed my arm and went to get our food.
I gazed at the dark ocean. The truth was, I didn’t want to break up. Not at all. But it wasn’t like I had a choice. Our work together was done. And I needed to give Tyler his freedom.
>
“Well?” Callie was back, her mouth already full of food.
I grabbed my hot dog and took a huge bite so I could delay talking. I was sure that it was delicious, but I couldn’t taste anything. I chewed slowly, the hot dog feeling like sandpaper in my mouth. Ugh. I swallowed the bite and set the cardboard tray on the railing in front of me.
“I’m sad about it,” I finally said. It felt good to admit the truth. “But there’s not a lot I can do. Ty likes Amber Bateman.”
Callie shook her head. “If he likes anyone, it’s you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
How I wished that were true.
“I have evidence,” I said. I explained the note, and Callie’s eyes grew wide.
“Huh,” Callie said. “Guess I could be wrong.”
“It’s simple. Look at me, then look at Amber. One of us is gorgeous, and the other is… me.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Callie said. “Amber’s gorgeous, but she still can’t compare to you.”
I smiled. Callie always knew what to say to make a situation better. Unfortunately, in this case, she was wrong. “Tyler and I are friends. Nothing more. That’s all we’ve ever been – why would anything change now?”
Callie’s blue eyes shone in the moonlight as she considered my words for a long moment, her expression impassive. She tilted her head towards the horizon, away from me, before she spoke. “Sometimes, I guess two people are just destined to be friends.”
“I guess so.”
We stared at the water in silence.
“It’s nice to have friends, though,” Callie said.
I nodded, swallowed painfully. “Right.”
“So how are you two going to do this break up?”
Break up.
What horrible words.
I smiled grimly. “Guess I need to talk to Tyler.”
39
Nina
It was a gloomy Wednesday morning. The sky was overcast and rain was drizzling over the Beachbreak High campus. A breeze came off the ocean, just cold enough to make you wish you’d worn a thicker jacket, and maybe a hat. Everyone was avoiding the cafeteria – no one wanted to sit in the rain.