by Shona Husk
“But not yourself?”
He stared up at his goddess; he’d been sworn to Her service from the moment he’d accidentally been conceived. He didn’t know any different. How nice it must be for those who worshipped distant gods who never interfered with their life. They could have their faith and never face the consequences.
She regarded him coolly, like she could read every one of his thoughts.
“Why do I need saving?” All he needed was the bite removed, then he could be a witch again.
“You won’t be happy as a man without magic.”
“I have no magic now.” He missed participating in the coven rites. He envied Noah and Oskar and even Sawyer. All he ever did was keep the beast locked up.
“You choose not to. You chose the easy path at every turn. I thought you so much better.”
“How do I save Alexis?”
“You don’t. You can’t, not without saving yourself first.”
“How do I do that when I can barely keep the beast at bay? Was Freya right? Will it eventually break free if I have no magic?” Why was he fighting? Why not give in and be the beast, let his coven hunt him down.
Then there was Freya—she’d asked him to kneel at her feet.
The Morrigu squatted down and wiped Her sword on his clothing. She gripped his jaw so he was forced to look into the eternity in Her eyes. A man could lose himself, go mad and enjoy it. He couldn’t blink. “You have enough knowledge and enough of my grace left to save yourself. But not enough love for me, for me to waste my time. Prove yourself or do not return. There will be nothing for you here.” She stood and the grass dried and became brittle, then blew away, the dust stinging his eyes.
His vision blurred. He blinked and he was back in his office, eyes watering. He wiped the tears away. She could never give him a damn answer.
And he still had no idea what he needed to do.
He had become far too dependent on Her guidance and now he had none. To be fair, ever since the bite She hadn’t had much of value to say to him. He rubbed his chest and shivered as he remembered the thing he’d turned into. But his hands were still his, the nails a little too long, but the power of the moon had started to wane and for a few weeks he could almost forget about the bite.
Is that what She wanted from him? To become a horror movie monster: part human, part hellhound?
What kind of life was that?
It wasn’t. There had to be another way. He needed to question Freya.
What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Alexis-Freya swanned into the office several hours late and dressed up in the kind of clothes Peyton had never seen Alexis wear. The suit was red and the skirt was short. Her legs went for miles and ended in heels that looked like they knew how to kill a man three different ways.
He shouldn’t be looking, but he couldn’t look away. This wasn’t Alexis…and yet it was. She was still there. A god couldn’t go against a person’s free will, they could only amplify it, much the same as a demon. This was a part of Alexis that she kept hidden.
She noticed him watching and sauntered into his office, all liquid grace like a cat. “We need to chat.”
She shut the door as he sat there, not sure “chat” was the right word. He waited for her to take a seat, but instead she walked around and swept a file off his desk so she could sit there instead.
“I’m sure that wasn’t important.” Her voice was almost a purr, deeper and seductive without even trying. Her eyes were still bright green and cat-like
He was sure the file was important or it wouldn’t have been on his desk, but there were more pressing things than reviewing the pre-nup for wife-to-be number three of a property developer who had more money than sense if he thought that twenty-somethings really loved him for his wit and charm.
Peyton leaned back, putting a little distance between them. The scent of her skin and the memory of last night were almost too much. If he’d known Alexis was being taken over, he wouldn’t have done it—but at the same time he knew that Alexis must have wanted him. Had it been partly his fault that Freya had come to the surface? Or had that just been a matter of time? “What would you like to talk about?”
“You, me, her. The three of us.”
That meant Alexis was still in there. But for how much longer? “I’m glad Alexis is there… Can I speak to her.”
Freya laughed. “No. She gave me this body and I’m using it the way she wanted.” She leaned forward, her flower-sweet breath on his lips. “She wanted you for so long.” Her hand rested on his thigh, and for a moment Peyton thought she was going to sit in his lap. “Don’t worry, no one will disturb us.”
That hadn’t been his immediate worry. This close to her, his body was already responding, hungering for another taste. He didn’t trust himself. The thought was a punch to the heart.
He hadn’t trusted himself in years because of the bite. His coven didn’t trust him. No one did.
He was adrift in a sea of doubt with no land or light to guide him.
“Are you here to help Alexis get me? Is that what she asked for during the coven’s workings?”
“Coven… They worship all and no one. They hungered for love and passion, but only one was willing to do whatever it took.”
Gods had very different ideas of “whatever it takes” than mortals. An open-ended deal like that would only bring trouble. He needed clarification. “And now she’s had me, the deal is done?”
Freya tilted her head in a manner that was alien to mortals. A reminder that he was debating with a goddess who was all about love and hedonist rites on one side and death on the other. At least she was visiting in her sexy side, not the side that would take his soul.
“But she doesn’t, does she. No one does.” The hand on his thigh slid higher. Her knee wedged between his. “You twist in the wind like a petal. No plans and no desires.”
“I have desires.”
“You have dreams, but no actions to make them real.” She tugged on his tie and it unknotted in her fingers. She dropped it on the floor.
“If I commit to Alexis, you’ll leave her?”
“I’m rather enjoying the pleasures of the flesh again. It’s been so long since a worshipper has called me into their body. The rites I used to lead…” She leaned in closer so her lips brushed the curve of his ear. “You couldn’t even begin to imagine the feasts of flesh that would go for many nights until all were spent.”
“Dead from their exertions.”
She drew back. “Sometimes. Pleasure of that intensity has a price.”
“All pleasure has a price. Alexis is my secretary. It was inappropriate for me to do anything. We both knew that. That’s why we didn’t act on the desire. You burning through her body is wrong.”
“Who are you to tell me what is right and wrong, Raven?”
“Alexis has a life—”
“One she hates. I agree it’s tedious and mundane.” She tossed her hair back; it was redder than it had been. Alexis’ features had become sharper as the power reshaped her skin to suit. He was losing the woman he’d loved from afar.
“You’ll kill her.”
“Do you know how hard it is to stay in flesh? It takes a strong soul to anchor me.” She smiled. “The stronger it is, the longer it lasts before I burn it up.”
Peyton’s heart stopped. She was destroying Alexis and was happy about it.
“You care… How sweet.” She cupped his cheek. “When you were so enthusiastically thrusting last night, I got to succor from you. You can help her last longer. Surrender to your wants.”
His dick was already agreeing. Hard and pressing against his pants.
All he had to do was screw Freya and buy Alexis a little longer until this problem could be solved. “And then what happens? We both burn out?”
Freya shrugged. “Eventually.”
“That doesn’t sound like a very good deal.” It was a shitty deal that he would advise a client against. He couldn’t take
it himself.
“What would you like?” She flicked open the top button on his shirt, then licked the side of his face. “Another goddess to feed your magic? It must be so cold to be cut off. She’s mean. I’m not like her. You’ll have your magic, control of that beast and anything else you want. I can give you the power to have any woman you desire. They’ll be dropping their panties at your feet.”
“I only want Alexis.”
“Me too.” She grinned, her eyes unnaturally bright, as though she was lit from within.
He considered her for several heartbeats. He could swear to her if it meant saving Alexis. That was acceptable. Doable, too, as he was no longer bound to the Morrigu, She’d all but deserted him unless he turned into a monster. If he swore to Freya, he could live with himself.
“You want worshippers, a coven.” He leaned forward and put his hand on her bare calf. His fingers trailed up to her knee. “I can give you that. But you need to get out of this body.”
“I’ve seen the way you treat your goddess, so forgive me for not trusting you.” She picked his hand up and dropped it in his lap, hitting his hard dick.
He bit back the wince.
“Alexis isn’t a witch. She didn’t know what she was doing.” Ignorance was no defense, but he was trying it anyway.
“A novice, maybe, but she has magic in her blood. Her lineage is pure…like yours.”
“And if you kill her, she can never worship you. She could turn her coven into something real, bring you followers and grow your power.”
Freya’s lips parted. “I have followers. Anyone who comes to me gets aid in finding love and fertility.”
“Yet here you are.” He scooted his chair forward. “Your followers don’t invite you to the orgies you used to have. You miss them. You used to feed off them all and then depart.” He swallowed. “What do you need to leave this body?”
“You, for my use. Your blood is strong and we both know you are not as human as you look, no matter how well you hide it.” She ran her fingers up his forearm and hair grew like he was shifting, there and then in his office. He pulled back.
“You want to burn through me. Alexis won’t like that.” But Alexis would be free. Freya didn’t want a coven. She wanted a body. She wanted sex. If he handed himself over Freya would use his body, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to fight Her. He wanted more than work and hiding what he was. He’d been alone since the bite.
“She doesn’t want you to die. She’d rather I stay in her than hurt you. It’s so sweet, and you were too stupid to see what she could offer. You don’t deserve her.” Freya stood and started walking toward the door, hips swinging.
“Wait. I thought you wanted to draw on me so she lasted longer.”
“I’ve had a better idea.” She opened the door.
“What?”
“Nothing that concerns you. You’ve said no to me too many times.” She shut the door with enough force that he was sure the foundations rattled.
Damnit. He stared at his desk. He should’ve cleared his schedule and fucked her there and then. How fast did a human soul burn up?
Chapter 10
The streets were bright, as though someone had changed the filter. Alexis’ body felt too light. She was sure the next breeze would sweep her off her feet and send her somewhere else. And she loved it.
For the first time in her life she was living. She wasn’t hiding and being bland and behaving. She was doing what she wanted. Getting what she wanted.
Peyton wanted her—and while he was still resisting, he would be hers. It would just take a little time. Bethany’s spell had worked better than she could’ve ever imagined. While she knew a goddess was in her skin and she knew Peyton was worried, she didn’t care. He didn’t understand magic and the way it was inside of her—a living force she could bend to her will.
She’d gone shopping and had bought the kind of clothes that she’d only ever looked at wistfully. She wore the shoes that would normally make her cringe and wobble, but she strode confidently down the night-hugged street. The streetlights were stars, bright and spreading. The cars little more than blurs as the world moved too fast around her.
She spun, reveling in the joy. Her feet carried her on toward the kind of club that people like her could queue for, but never enter. She didn’t join the line but strode up to the door and was let in as though she were some kind of celebrity. She gave the doorman Peyton’s name and he dutifully added it to the list. Were goddesses celebrities? They had been once, she supposed.
Freya guided her on, and while Alexis knew, she was a passenger in her life. At least she was living. This new-found bravery wasn’t really hers but it was amazing. If she could be this bold, this powerful…well, then she’d be a goddess too.
The music pulsed through her body as she danced. People gathered around her, drawn to the magic radiating off her skin. They touched her and worshipped her. She raised her arms and the crowd danced around her, caught in her enchantment.
Energy rolled off them and she bathed in it and drank it down. The power grew in her blood. Clothes began to fall to the floor and she watched as people got closer, hands sliding over sweat-slicked skin and kisses becoming more demanding.
What was happening? The nightclub was turning into an orgy and no one was stopping it. Her body throbbed with need. The goddess wanted to join in, but Alexis didn’t want to fuck on the floor the way some couples were. Her gaze scanned the crowd.
She only wanted one. Peyton.
A growl lodged in her throat as the goddess demanded to join. But Alexis refused. That was when she realized the goddess couldn’t force her to do anything. Her lips curved and it was her smile. The music pulsed in her blood.
They would watch and revel and soak in the magic coiling through the air. Peyton would come. He wouldn’t be able to stay away.
Peyton snatched up his ringing cell phone. With no secretary, he’d been fielding all kinds of calls all day and he was done with talking to people on the phone. He glanced at the screen and considered letting Oskar leave a message, but the way his life was disintegrating at the moment that didn’t seem like a smart move.
“Peyton,” he answered. He should’ve left an hour ago, but he still had too much on his desk that needed done.
“Yeah, I know. I called you.”
Peyton bit his tongue on the smart retort. “What do you need?”
“Nothing, just a courtesy call to let you know that your girlfriend has killed another person.”
There were so many things wrong with that sentence he wasn’t sure where to start. “What do you mean killed?”
“Her cats mauled a resident in her building.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Mrs. Brown was found by the dumpsters, well chewed up.”
“Does it lead back to Alexis?” If it did there wasn’t going to be much they could do. Magic could only do so much—mask, deviate, misguide—but it couldn’t erase forensic evidence.
“No, but there are whispers of wild cats in the city. This could get ugly. You need to talk to her.”
“I did, today.” He gave Oskar a summary of his chat with Freya, leaving out the touchy, licky bits.
“Hmm. Well you best get busy with Alexis.”
“I’m not sleeping with Alexis when she can’t agree to it.” He didn’t want to be sleeping with Freya at all.
“That ship sailed last night, and no one can be forced to do something they don’t want to, even when possessed. Alexis wants you.”
“That means Alexis wanted those people dead.” Which was a chilling thought, as Alexis had always been so calm and rational. What had been hiding beneath her buttoned appearance? Was she secretly this wild thing?
He was, and it wasn’t so secret.
“That might not be true. After all, it was the cats that did it.”
“True. Any other words of wisdom?” Oskar had only recently been given full admittance into the coven. Because of the death curse, Peyton had
never put much weight in his opinion. His suggestion that Peyton just get on with fucking Alexis only confirmed that.
Oskar drew a breath. The pause hung there for a moment. “You won’t want to hear it.”
“Try me.” Oskar had survived a death curse, so maybe he did have some insight.
“Okay, but let me finish before you hang up.”
“Fine.” He was regretting this already.
“You’ve always had Her. She’s always wanted you. What were you, six or something when your magic first showed? You’ve never had to prove yourself to Her. She’s never tested you until now. Now it gets hard, you quit? Man…I’ve had to fight my whole life for Her to even consider me worthy. You don’t know what you’re throwing away. Mason is beside himself, but he knows this is your fight. And it is. But if you turn away, we can’t help you.”
Peyton closed his eyes. “She doesn’t want me. She told me that.”
“Bullshit. She doesn’t leave her warriors on the field to die alone. You know that. You don’t want Her.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a monster in human skin.”
“Only you see yourself that way. Do you know how useful it would’ve been for Noah to have your help when hunting demons? You are a house-trained hellhound.”
“I don’t want to be that.”
“Maybe that is what She needs you to be.”
He wanted to throw down the phone to argue that She was asking too much. Why wasn’t he good enough as he was? What had he done to deserve this? “She never asked what I want.”
“She never does. We swore to serve. She is our general and we obey.”
Or leave Her army and wander alone. With no magic and without Her grace. He rubbed his chest, sure he could feel the pulse of magic weakening.
“I never thought you were the kind of person who’d quit when it got hard… Maybe I was wrong.” Oskar sounded like one of his heroes had just been killed.