by Nolon King
Most people could set themselves free if they saw those restraints for what they were — other people’s anemic attempts to control them.
She wasn’t sure what Tommy’s household contributions were. The dickhead didn’t have a job, so what the hell was the leash he used to keep his wife there? Mal doubted Maggie was making enough as a cashier, so Tommy must have been bringing in money somehow. Mal would make it so Maggie didn’t need whatever Tommy’s contribution was, whatever the current situation. She could use Jasper’s money to offer Maggie and Emma a fresh start.
And who knew, maybe Tommy might get his shit together in six months.
Maybe Maggie wouldn’t feel a need to take him back. Maybe she’d be strong enough to go on without him.
Or maybe Tommy would surprise everybody and actually fix his life.
But Mal knew people rarely changed for the better, especially when they had no motivation to do so. In reality, her giving Tommy money almost assured his self-destruction. And she would do what she could to protect Maggie from when he ran out of cash.
Mal wasn’t sure what she’d do if he came for more money. She hated the variable hanging over her head. Part of her wondered if she shouldn’t do something to nudge his self-destruction. She imagined herself standing over him as he overdosed.
Awful as it was to admit, Mal wouldn’t help him. But was it truly terrible? She would never kill a venomous snake minding its business in the wild, but she sure as fuck would end one inside her house, threatening her family.
Tommy’s a threat, just like that snake. And what do you to do a threat when it enters your house?
You exterminate it.
Now she was sounding like Jasper.
Cold rain chilled her as she got out of the car. She hurried to the door then knocked.
Tommy answered, looking oddly detached. Mal wondered if he was high or drunk as she silently handed him the envelope.
The asshole actually started counting the money in front of her.
Maggie appeared with two suitcases, eyes red and puffy again.
“Where’s Emma?” Mal asked.
“At my friend’s house. We didn’t think she should be here for this. My friend will bring her over tomorrow.” Maggie looked down and sheepishly away.
Mal could sense something wrong. Was the woman having second thoughts? Had Tommy threatened her? If she didn’t drag Maggie out of there now, she might not be able to leave.
She grabbed both suitcases from Maggie.
Tommy finished counting and was suddenly all smiles. Probably already figuring out how much dope he could buy. He still had the stash Mal had planted on him, too. It was probably with a friend. No way the asshole flushed it.
“Yep, it’s all here.”
“I’ll be waiting in the car,” Mal said.
Tommy, still all smiles, said, “Pleasure doing business with you.”
I hope he shoots this all into his veins and dies choking on his vomit.
Leaving them to their goodbyes, Mal rushed against the rain to put both suitcases in the trunk of her rental. Once they were stowed, she hurried into the driver’s seat then waited as the thrumming of the wipers added a beat to her anxiety.
Something felt off, but she couldn’t place what.
She thumbed through her phone, checking for messages as she waited. One from Tim: Hey there, how are you doing?
She was about to text him back when Maggie rushed out the door then climbed into the passenger seat, wiping at her eyes.
“You did the right thing.” Mal glanced at the front door to see if Tommy was standing there to wave goodbye.
He wasn’t.
Probably inside counting his money again. Maybe calling his boys, or his dealer, planning a fuckhead fiesta.
“Why doesn’t it feel right then?” Maggie asked.
Mal flipped on the heater and backed out of the driveway. “Probably because it’s scary to leave the comfort of what you know, even when it’s bad for you. But you will feel better, I promise.”
“Thank you.” She hugged herself.
“It’s gotta be hard to start over, but I swear, it’ll get easier. This was the best decision you could have possibly made for you and Emma.”
Maggie stared out the window, looking lost, like she was already doubting her decision.
They drove in silence, with none of the questions Mal had expected her to ask. Nothing about the neighborhood or preschools. Not a word about Ashley. Her eyes on the wipers as if hypnotized. Mal wondered if she was high or in shock.
“How do you think Emma is going to take this?”
“I dunno,” Maggie said.
“Is she going to miss him?”
“I think so, yeah. He doesn’t spend a lot of quality time with her, and half the time when he is with her, he’s shitty. But kids at that age love their dad no matter what. It’s not like she knows better.”
“Well, she will. She’ll finally have a normal life.”
More silence.
She wasn’t sure if it was Maggie, the Kozack case Mike was working on, or perhaps even Jasper. But Mal could feel something like heat from the vents.
“So, have you thought about what you might do for a job?”
“I dunno yet. It’s a long commute, and I don’t have a car.”
“I can help with the car. And I know the managers at a few different Publix, I can put in a good word for you. But you have to stay clean.”
“Thank you. And yes, I will.” Maggie shook her head. “I’ll never touch the pills again.”
Mal didn’t believe her, though she wasn’t exactly sure why. Addicts rarely made such declarations, at least not so fast or assuredly. They often talked about not wanting to, or lamented the daily battle. Maggie was acting like it was a cakewalk ahead of her, just like an addict.
Maybe she needed something to get through the night. It’s hard leaving a husband who scares the hell out of you.
Mal wanted to ask if she was sober right now but decided against it.
Tomorrow was another day.
Mal showed Maggie around, giving her a key to the house and the code to the security system before concluding their tour. They retired to the kitchen for coffee and conversation.
Maggie said, “I can’t believe you don’t stay here. It’s such a beautiful house.”
“It was hard after Ashley died, especially after her killer her came here, tormenting me. I had to get out. Fortunately, I came into some money, so now I stay at a hotel most of the time.”
“I’m sorry, I hope being here isn’t bringing—”
“It’s okay. There are good memories, too.” Mal offered her a reassuring smile. “Like the time I was watching old eighties and nineties music videos on YouTube, trying to show Ashley what was cool when I was a kid, and she just looked so confused. It was hilarious. I never thought of myself as old. Even though I was a cop with a serious job, I always felt young at heart, like I had youthful taste. I never really loved the new stuff coming out, but I also didn’t hate it. But the minute my daughter started having her own taste in music, mine felt antiquated and uncool.”
“So, that’s what I’ve got to look forward to? Becoming uncool as my parents?” Maggie laughed.
“Indeed.”
“Great.” After a long and thoughtful moment, Maggie asked, “How often do you think of her?”
“Every day. I’m not sure what’s worse, having a vivid dream where she’s still alive and we’re happy together only to wake up and feel the realization and hurt all over again, or lying in her bedroom and wishing I could brush her hair while telling her stories at night. All the time, I’ll see a book or something in the store and think, I should get that for Ashley, or I bet Ashley would love that.” Mal felt tears welling up, and she didn’t want to give in and make this night about her pain. She finished with, “It fucking sucks.”
Mal stood and went to the fridge for a bottle of water. She called from the kitchen, “Can I top you off?”
“No, I�
�m good.”
Mal returned to her seat and tried to think of a way to lighten the mood. “So, any plans for tomorrow?”
“No, I wasn’t sure if you were working.”
“I’m on leave. Gonna hang out here as long as you guys want me to.”
“Won’t it be hard for you? I don’t want you to feel obligated to—”
“Don’t be silly. I only left because it was hard to be here alone with my thoughts. I think having other people, and another kid in the house, will help me. How do you think Emma will take this?”
“I have no idea.”
“Are you scared she won’t want to stay? That she’ll miss her dad?”
“Yeah, but I think in time she’ll get over him.”
“Are they close?”
“No, not really. She loves him, but she’s also always asking, ‘Why is Daddy annoyed at me?’”
“Damn.”
“This will be good for her in time. What about you?” Maggie asked. “Won’t this cramp your style? Having a stranger and her kid crashing your space?”
“I can always go up to my office if I get sick of you.
Maggie laughed.
“Seriously, it’ll be fine. I’m just hoping I can remember how to act around little kids.”
“Well, she’s quiet at first, so you’ll have to carry the conversation. But you won’t be able to shut her up once she gets to know you.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And she meant it, genuinely looking forward to having a little girl in her house again.
Mal didn’t think she would ever be around kids again, after Ashely’s murder, and certainly couldn’t imagine bringing another one into the world. But maybe Maggie and Emma would help to heal her wounds and get her to a place where she would consider having another child.
She thought about Jessi and how much she’d come to care for her. They’d gone through hell, but Mal had helped her in the end. Katie was another story. Thinking about the teenager whose father was abusing Katie and her mother still brought only pain.
Mal had shot Katie’s father in the line of duty, after he killed the girl’s mother. Her attempts to save Katie and her mom from an awful situation had only made everything worse.
Katie blamed Mal for destroying her family. She’d gone to see the girl in the hospital after she’d emerged from her coma. Katie told her she wished they’d never met and Mal should have let her die. Now, the girl was in the foster system and had rebuffed every attempt to visit her.
Maybe everyone would have been better off if she’d left well enough alone. Sure, the girl was being abused, but at least her mom had still been alive.
Even now, Mal wondered if sometimes she hurt people more than helped them. Would Maggie regret taking her help? Would Tommy flip out and kill her and Emma?
Maggie stretched her arms with a yawn. “Well, hate to be a party pooper, but I’m beat.”
Mal showed her to the master bedroom. It was hers and Emma’s until she made the guest room into a space for the girl. She didn’t want anyone in Ashley’s room or for anyone to change it. But that’s where Mal would sleep for now.
She brushed her teeth, got undressed, then climbed into Ashley’s bed and snuggled with her daughter’s old stuffies, inhaling her scent which still lingered on the pillow. She thought of better days, back when her baby girl was still alive, bright with smiles and giggles.
Those memories eventually sent her to sleep.
The nightmares came — Paul Dodd tying her up on Ashley’s bed and worse.
Mal woke up with a loud cry in a cold sweat. She couldn’t be in Ashley’s room anymore.
That monster had tainted the one sacred place left in her house. She sobbed, tearing the sheets and blankets from the bed, wailing WHY? on repeat before collapsing to the floor where she continued to tremble.
“I just want you back,” she blubbered, “I just want you back.”
She needed her pills. The only thing that dulled the pain and got her through moments like these. The only thing that made life without Ashley anywhere near bearable.
Just one pill. To get through the night.
The sound of a car door slamming yanked Mal out of her ugly little moment and back to the present.
Maybe Tommy found out where she lived and had come to harm Maggie. And probably her.
She looked out the window and saw his Camaro pulling out of her driveway.
What the fuck?
Mal grabbed her gun, bounded down the stairs, then ran out the front door.
The Camaro’s headlights were already at the end of the street and turning.
A scream would be worthless, so Mal went back inside and slammed the door, fearing what she might find in Maggie’s room.
Would she be dead?
Or … gone?
She raced back upstairs and found the room empty, bed neatly made with a sheet of legal pad sitting atop it.
Dear Mallory,
I’m going back to Tommy.
He made me lie to you until he got what he wanted.
He said not to come after us, or he’ll go to the media. He also recorded you that night in the car.
Sorry.
I really wish we could’ve started over here, but it’s a pipe dream. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, the moment you start believing in pipe dreams is the moment someone will pull the world out from under you.
Sorry,
Maggie
Mal stared at the note in her trembling hand.
Then she screamed and turned her knuckles bloody.
Chapter 35 - Spider
The van stopped. Spider’s heartbeat kicked into overdrive.
They’d escaped through a tunnel before she was blindfolded then shoved into the back of a van. They’d only driven about ten minutes, so not too far. Now she was wondering why they’d stopped.
Were they already at their safehouse or whatever?
Or … had they planned to kill her and dump her in the woods.
She’d heard Victor and Clark arguing in the front, but she’d only made out a few words:
“When she’s done,” Victor had said.
But what when she was done? Were they going to set her free or kill her?
Maybe they decided to take care of her now. Running would be easier without a cripple in the back of their van.
Spider sat up, wishing she could remove her blindfold, but her hands were cuffed behind her back.
Muffled voices preceded the sound of the rear doors opening.
“It’s just me.” Clark climbed into the van.
“Where are we?”
“Had to move locations. Everything will be fine.”
“What happened back there?”
Victor’s voice was angry and stressed to the point of breaking. “What happened? Your fucking ‘Professor’ attacked with his thug buddies. Killed a lot of good men tonight. And for what? Nothing!”
“What happened to him?” Spider asked.
“Get her set up,” Victor said, without giving her an answer. “We’ve got work to do. This shit ends tonight.”
Ends tonight? Is he expecting a miracle?
He’d severed the tip of her pinky. What else might he do to make her work faster?
Spider flinched as she felt hands at her shoulders.
Clark said, “I just need you to lie back so I can move you. I’ll take off your blindfold once we’re inside.”
She allowed him to gently lay her back, his hand under her head.
She heard pacing, then a ringing phone.
“Yes, we’re here,” Victor said before walking off out of earshot.
Clark pulled Spider to the edge of the cargo bed then lifted her with a slight grunt.
She felt utterly helpless as he carried her.
“Where’s my wheelchair?”
“Had to leave it behind.”
Shit. That’s not good. They’re gonna kill me.
“We’ll get you a new one. Not
a problem.”
Clark kept walking. Judging from the sounds of the building, it was indeed a house. The walls felt close, not far apart.
They ascended a flight of stairs. Clark lifted her in a modified fireman’s carry. She felt embarrassed with his hand across the back of her thighs, especially since she couldn’t feel how high it was.
He set her down in a swivel chair. “Hold on a moment.”
Then she heard him walk out.
Spider rolled forward a bit and hit what felt like a desk.
She heard him returning and moved her chair back to where it had been. After what sounded like he put down bags, he walked over to her then removed her blindfold.
Spider was in a small bedroom with plain white walls scuffed with black marks. It was furnished with only a desk and a bed with a bare mattress, nothing else. The window was boarded up.
Clark met her gaze. “I’m going to remove your handcuffs. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“What the hell am I gonna do?”
He went behind her and unlocked her restraints. In a low voice, he said, “We’ll just pretend you didn’t drug me.”
Shit. He knows it was me.
The cuffs came off.
He got in front of her again then kneeled. His stare was intense. She wanted to look away but didn’t.
Clark looked at the door behind him to make sure nobody was coming, then with his voice still low, he said, “If I told him what you did, he would tell me to kill you.”
“I’m sorry,” Spider whispered. “But I know you all are going to kill me, anyway.”
“Do your job, and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you live through this.”
Spider wanted to believe him, but Victor was his boss. What could he do? It’s not like Clark had stopped him from cutting off her finger.
Still, something in his eyes felt like a promise, and she needed something to hang on to, even if that something was a lie.
“I’m going to set you up here, then you’re going to finish this, okay?”
Spider nodded.
“I’ll be working with you. We’ll get this done together. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” she said with a nod.