by Kristie Cook
“Some places are, such as the City of Shadows,” Tor replied, surprising me. I’d only been talking to myself, not expecting him to listen or care.
“I can’t imagine why,” I muttered, to which he did not reply.
We eventually came to a clearing of tall grass and wildflowers, waving in an unfelt breeze. They, too, glowed softly, and tiny light orbs danced about, probably some kind of faerie creature. On the far edge of the clearing sat a thatch-roofed cottage and beyond it a stream, then more forest. As we crossed the clearing, I looked up at the sky, checking again for the sun or moon now that I could see more of it, and my breath caught. It was even more beautiful than the diamond-studded sky had been in the Colorado mountains of our college, so close then, it felt like we should have been able to feel the heat of the stars. But here … The sky was not just blue, but also pinks and purples and teals, an aurora borealis dancing in the heavens, either stars or more faeries twinkling among it.
“We stop here,” Tor declared when we reached the cottage, dismounting from his horse.
“This is where you live?” I asked with surprise. I couldn’t imagine such a powerful and dark prince living in such a small yet inviting home. His presence was so large, it didn’t seem the cottage could even fit him within its walls.
“This is where we train,” he replied. “I will bring you to my home when I know I can trust you.”
Well, I never said he was stupid.
The cottage was as quaint and charming on the inside as the outside. We entered into a cozy living room, a fire already blazing in the hearth, and two bedrooms were in the back, a bathroom between them. Though smaller than the one I slept in back at Winter Court, the bed looked just as soft and welcoming. I hadn’t realized how bone-tired I was until now.
“Not yet,” Tor said. “We must begin.”
“Right now?” He couldn’t be serious.
“Do not worry. This first step is easy: you simply need to remember.”
“Remember what?”
“What you can do. My father and I watched many of your fights in the Pits at Shadow Vault Citadel. We saw your potential then. We also saw your lack of control. We thought you would have learned it by now, but apparently, we were wrong.”
I shifted from foot to foot. There was a number of reasons for that.
“I understand your memories and your powers were bound with a spell. It seems some still are. You need to remember before you can properly learn what you have and how to control it. That is all. Good night.”
He turned and left me in the tiny room, shutting the door with a flick of his hand. When I fell asleep, I dreamt again—remembered more. And it was not easy. Not at all.
I would have done anything to never remember again, but now that I did … I would never forget. I couldn’t ever forget again what I had done.
Chapter 15
Tongues of Tor’s dark power stretched away from him, licking at my own, calling it forth. Trying to anyway. My hold on it was tighter than ever, my beast growling in protest. She wanted free. She wanted to play and frolic with Tor’s. No way could I let that happen. Never again.
Tor let out a string of what I assumed to be profanity in his native tongue—the tone was definitely right. I’d slept three times since being here at the cottage, though I had no idea how many actual days and nights that equaled. The sky and lighting hardly ever changed. The colorful, dancing lights in the sky drifted away and returned, drifted and returned, but I didn’t know if that was any indication of another day passing. So in other words, I didn’t know how long we’d been at this, but enough that he was losing his patience.
“Why do you still hold back?” he demanded, frustration thick in his deep voice. “I know you remember what you can do. What you did at the Vault against your opponents.”
Of course, he knew that I remembered. I saw how those memories haunted me in my own reflection. I heard how raw my voice had become from waking up screaming over and over again. I noticed his gaze on my trembling hands for the hour or so it took to calm myself enough to eat, let alone train. Except he was partly wrong—it wasn’t just the Vault where I’d unleashed my true power.
“I know precisely what I can do,” I snarled. “And I will never do that for you or your father. I can never do such horrors again—unless it is against you. Against him.”
He cocked his head at this, the points of his ears twitching as those aqua eyes studied me. “Except you cannot, can you? Because you lack control. The only reason you killed your opponents and nobody in the stands is because you were deep in the Pits and the crowd was far above, out of reach. You are like your earthly bombs. You do not have the control to kill me or my father without wiping out innocent lives.”
I hated that he was right, but it was all the more reason to not use my power at all.
“I have other ways,” I said. “I’m well trained in the diverse arts of combat. I can wield three types of magic and am proficient with a variety of weapons.”
“And how have those helped you come to this place at this very moment?”
I suppressed a growl, frustrated that he was right once again. None of my powers and training thus far had helped me escape the demons, the Unseelie, or the Shadows. Of course, since arriving in Faery, I hadn’t fought as hard as I would have at home, considering I had no idea how to return to my own realm or whom to trust to help me with that once I gained my freedom. I still didn’t know the lands or what kinds of dangers lurked here, but I knew enough to appreciate that magic and even weapons often elicited surprising results when used on unknown types of creatures—not usually in a good way.
He’d never teach me what I really needed to know—where the other stone circles were or any other portals to my realm; what strange creatures and other threats I could face in my travels around Faery; how to kill a fae, particularly the Shadow fae, since they were my biggest threat at the moment.
My beast pawed at me. She knew how to kill them. We’d already done so, hadn’t we? And threatened to do it again? But while in my right mind, without her looming and ready to take over, I knew there had to be another way. If anything, leaving a wake of dead bodies in my path would likely start a war—a war I didn’t know if my parents and people were prepared to fight. Of course, killing the prince and the king would probably do the same, but at least I knew without a doubt that they deserved it.
But that brought me to my biggest dilemma of all: how to break a deal with a fae—and not just any fae, but a fae king. Tor’s father. And basically, Tor himself, considering the deal was essentially to marry him. Would killing them both break that deal or free me from it?
Pacing between me and the cottage, Tor shoved his hand through his black hair, loosening the ponytail he kept it in while we trained. So far, since I refused to draw on my darkest power, my training consisted of him attacking me and me staving him off the best I could. I’d never tell him this, but he was the strongest opponent I’d ever faced, including any of the worst demons in the Pits or any of the multitudes of creatures at school. My magic—angelic, sorceress, and fae alike—continuously fell short, and my weapons failed to find their mark because his magic was always on point.
He blew out a harsh breath and eyed me. “You have a unique power—unique to you and your siblings—that you refuse to use. It is your best weapon against any opponent, including that which you hate most.”
“You have no idea what I hate most,” I interjected.
“You hate the demons most. That was very obvious in how you fought in the Pits.”
“Maybe that’s changed. Maybe I hate the Shadow fae more now.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“You are such a petulant child,” he said on a rough sigh. “Listen to me, Elliana. Shadow fae, Unseelie, Seelie, the demons—you have the power to end us all.”
“Eh. I’m not really into genocide. That’s my one saving grace compared to all of you.”
His patience was waning, I could tell, and while part of me
really wanted to learn to use and control my true power, I wouldn’t. There was no convincing me—because I knew that once I did, I’d lose myself.
“You are not listening!” He suddenly stood right in front of me, all up in my personal space, looming over me so I had to crane my neck to look up at him. “End the demons, Elliana. Not just send them back to Hell but end them for good.”
I blinked. Shit. Maybe I could be convinced. But no … I couldn’t let that be a good enough reason.
“That’s not possible,” I said in denial. “Only my mother can do that.”
“You know that’s not true. You have done it before.”
One of those nasty memories—one I’d refused to examine, even in my unconscious mind—tried to push forward, but I shook my head. I needed to change the subject, re-route this conversation before I gave in.
I shoved him back a pace. He’d let me, of course, since he was much stronger than me. Fucking fae prince and all.
“You’re not listening to me,” I said. “I do not need this power you want so badly. You do. Your father does. All these other factions who think they can use me—only to force me to turn it on my own people, on humanity. Or to end me before it can be used against them. My sister and I have become pawns in everyone else’s war because they all assume we want this power. That we want to use it. Nobody’s ever considered that if they just left us alone, they’d probably have nothing to worry about.”
“You are so very wrong.” He came at me again, dark energy lashing out at me, reaching for my own.
I cast a shielding spell to block it. Unfortunately, my shields weren’t strong like Charleigh’s, and his power easily broke through it, but not before I was able to flick a star at his throat while conjuring an icicle as long as a spear and sharp as a dagger that I aimed at his chest. My shields might have been weak, but I had enough offensive moves to make up for it. Unfortunately, again, Tor was good at both. He easily plucked the throwing star out of the air and shattered my icicle before it even came close. At the same time, a cage of dark energy slammed down around me, throwing me to the ground, and wrapped up in it was that special fae power that had me writhing with lust.
“Stop it,” I hissed while my hands began to undo the bindings of my corset. My breasts swelled against the tight confines, needing to be freed and groped, by whom I didn’t care.
“Use your power,” Tor replied evenly.
“Never,” I said between pants.
His powers bared down harder, and one of my hands gave up on the bindings, sliding inside over my breast, squeezing and pinching, while my other hand glided down between my legs, pressing against the building heat. My beast roared inside, kicking and clawing her way out.
“Fight me,” Tor ordered.
“Fuck you.”
“You seem to be doing a fine job of that yourself.”
I groaned, in ecstasy at first and then in anger, jerking my hands away from inside my own clothes. Crossing my arms over my chest, I fisted my hands in my armpits to keep them from drifting again. My breath came out in pants, my body still wanting to give in to the lust he created and my beast to his power. I pulled my knees to my chest, curling into a ball on the ground to try to contain it all. He finally pulled it all back, releasing me.
“You’re an asshole,” I said as I climbed to my feet. “That was practically rape!”
His eyes narrowed. “Trust me—you would know it if I fucked you. But it’s not rape if you’re begging for it, now is it?”
Fury filled me, and I charged, shooting a ball of flames at him while using my magic to summon the sword at his waist. I sprang into the air to catch the hilt, then swung down, putting my whole body into it. It all happened in a split-second, fast enough to take out anyone else, even a vampire. But not a fae prince. Tor sifted six yards away, and I nearly impaled myself when the sword and I both landed on nothing but hard ground.
“I will never beg for anything from a man,” I growled through a clenched jaw as I once again pushed myself to my feet. “Especially not for sex. And especially not you!”
I hated him with every fiber of my being. Mostly because he was right. I’d never felt so violated, so vulnerable . . . yet, so damn turned on. Not once had I ever found a man sexually attractive, but even without his power on me, I couldn’t deny Tor’s sexuality. If I were to be honest, his power only heightened real desire that already existed deep within. For the first time in my life, I wondered what it would be like to see a man naked, to feel him between my legs . . . inside me. And I hated him all the more for that.
“You see?” he said. “Your power could have stopped me. You do need it, precisely because everyone does want to use you for it or destroy you for it. The only way to protect yourself and your sister and even your parents is to ensure that you can use it for you.”
“And for you and your father.”
“I do not have the same plans for you as my father.”
“But you still want to use me.”
“Is it using you when we have the same enemies? Or is that just two allies helping each other with a common goal?”
I lifted a brow. “Your father is my enemy.”
This was met with silence.
“If I were to use this power on anybody, it would be to destroy him,” I said, just to be clear. Still, Tor’s only reply was to glare at me with hard aqua eyes before turning and walking away.
“It would not be genocide if you learned control and proper use,” he threw over his shoulder. He paused, turning slightly toward me. “You only need to become an arrow rather than a bomb. Eliminate the right targets and you can end any battle, any war.”
He left me to stew in this, and stew I did. And I realized he was not entirely like his father. The Shadow king didn’t give a shit when I killed his soldiers who attacked me on the hillside by the Circle of Knowing or his guards and the others in the throne room during the auction. The king only wanted me broken and trained to obey. He didn’t care how many lives I took in the process, even those of his own people. He probably wouldn’t care on the battlefield, either.
Tor, however, seemed to have a different objective. What, exactly, was it?
I sat by the stream behind the cottage, taking in my surroundings. This was the longest Tor had left me alone. If he wasn’t trying to instigate a fight and elicit my power, he was shoving food in my face or locking me in the tiny room. Which I honestly couldn’t complain about, because by then, I was exhausted from trying to fight him and control my beast.
I didn’t know where the food came from, but he prepared it himself. Surprisingly, he wasn’t a bad cook. I wondered when he’d learned and why. After all, he’d surely been raised by slaves, every whim served his entire life, however long that was. I wondered where all the prince’s slaves were now.
The forest surrounding the cottage was dark and beautiful. Faerie lights and otherworldly types of bioluminescence caused the trees and foliage to glow in various colors. I’d seen a few animals, including a buck that looked much like an earthly deer, if not for his glowing blue antlers that were shaped more like that of a moose, and a small rodent-type creature that somewhat resembled a rabbit with wings. If it were ten times bigger, it would have been terrifying. That had me wondering what other beasts lived in the forest and if I could take them. If I ran now, would I be able to escape or only run into more danger?
Was there anything more dangerous than the Tormentor himself?
It felt like hours passed, and Tor still hadn’t returned. The longer I sat there alone, the more my mind started to drift toward my parents, to Charleigh, to Brielle, and the more my heart, my gut, my very soul ached until I thought I would be sick. For as long as I could remember, I’d dreamt of going on adventures by myself. I’d always believed myself to be an outcast, the black sheep never able to live up to my family’s standards. I thought it would be relief for all of us once I was out on my own, never considering just how much I would miss them. Especially my twin.
/> Brielle was my rock, who kept me grounded and centered. The earth to my fire, she was always able to tamper my heat and keep me from burning out of control. I may have had the passion and the confidence and the power, but she had the brain and the compassion and the heart. She truly cared for other people, putting their needs first, and most especially me. Not that she was weak—our powers were matched and she had no problem standing up to me and putting me in my place—but I’d always felt the need to protect her. Only now could I truly appreciate just how much she did for me.
I missed her logic and how she counted things under her breath—everything, from the steps as she walked to the clouds in the sky. I missed her love for learning and reading, frequently sharing random little tidbits just to make me laugh. I missed our late-night conversations, how we used to chat with each other in our own little language when we were little. I missed the way she could comfort me and make me feel loved when it seemed like I was up against the world. I missed my sister. We’d never been separated like this since the moment we were conceived and our cells split.
I’d never felt so alone.
I needed to do whatever it took to get home.
Swiping at my wet cheeks, I finally stood. Although my stomach ached from longing, I returned to the cottage, knowing I should keep my energy up and wondering what was stocked in the cabinets. Tor had been in control of that until now—and when I walked into the kitchen, I realized he still was. A bowl of warm stew and a big chunk of hearty bread waited for me on the table, tendrils of steam rising from both. But no sign of Tor himself, except for a note.
Saoirse will be taking over your training. And you thought I was difficult.
I did a quick check of the cottage for this Saoirse person, but found nobody else here. After forcing myself to eat the stew and bread, I went into my room, feeling like it was time to sleep. But, of course, I couldn’t. Facing the memories that I knew would come in my dreams was bad enough when Tor was here. The prospect of doing it alone, however, was somehow worse.