And the spell was broken.
Dear God. I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply. When I opened them again, he was rummaging inside the bag, pulling out a pair of sweats.
There was something powerful between us. A connection. I couldn’t deny it now even if I wanted to. I had no doubt I was his. And he was mine. The pull between us was that strong. That sure. And we hadn’t even had sex yet.
What did it mean, exactly? Was it just a physical attraction? Could I trust Ryan not to use me and lose me? Could I trust him not to break my heart?
He pulled the sweatpants on, letting the towel drop to the floor. Then he walked back into the bathroom, and I was able to watch him from behind and glimpse his face in the mirror as he combed his hair. Fascinated by the muscles in his back and the gentle flexing of his bicep as he ran the comb through his gorgeous dark locks, I stared. Then he opened his toiletries bag and removed a disposable razor. He filled the sink with water and carefully shaved off his scruff. He could have closed the door and shut me out while he shaved. But he didn’t.
The intimacy of the act, being allowed to watch him groom himself, was not lost on me. How many women had seen him like this? Was I the tenth? The hundredth? I had to know.
“How many women have watched you shave before?” I asked.
His gaze met mine in the mirror. “None. You’re the first.” There was no deceit in his eyes, just pure, open honesty. “I’m not hiding anything from you, Liz. I want you to see me as I am in my natural state. This is me. I like to take time to look nice. Does that bother you? I hope not. I’m not perfect. You might think I’m cocky and spend too much time primping. But that’s me. Right now, I want to look nice for you. I want you to want me, for me. Imperfections and all. So I’m baring it all for you. And this is me.”
I believed him, and the truth made something swell inside me. I was the first to ever witness him doing something so personal? What did that mean? Could I possibly mean more to him than all those other women had? He wanted me to want him, for him. He wasn’t apologizing for who he was, and I had to admire him for that. I didn’t think Ryan was necessarily cocky. He was definitely sure of himself, which was attractive in my mind. Confidence in a man was sexy.
He wiped the remnants of shaving cream off his face, then turned off the bathroom light.
He came back out of the bathroom, his hair neatly combed, his face free of scruff, smelling of aftershave and clean, sexy man. The navy blue sweats couldn’t disguise the “treasure” bulging out in the front, a true indication of how much I affected him. The sight of that bulge and what was hiding beneath the fabric made heat swarm back in my face.
The breath snagged in my throat. He was by far the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. And whether he ended up breaking my heart or not, I wanted him. So, so much.
He slowly approached the bed, his gaze cautious, but also swirling with undeniable heat. He wanted me too, and that knowledge was powerful. This gorgeous man wanted me.
“Will you listen to me now?”
I patted the bed next to me. “Yes.” I would do just about anything to get him closer to me right now.
He sat next to me, and I breathed in sharply as he turned to face me, that sexy, bare chest filling my vision. It was all I could do not to reach out and stroke over those gorgeous pecs. To feel all that strength beneath my fingertips.
He cleared his throat. “Stop that, Liz,” he said huskily. “Do you have any idea what you do to me when you look at me like that?”
I forced myself to look into his eyes. It was a heady feeling, knowing how much he wanted me. “Sorry,” I whispered. “Go ahead.” I did want to hear whatever he had to say. And then I wanted him to ravish me. Everywhere.
He sighed. “Where do I begin?”
“How about at the beginning?” I suggested.
“The beginning of when you first snared me? Hell, Liz, I think you had me from the start. You threw me off my game when you snubbed me and told me it was offensive to call you doll.” He let out a soft laugh. “Your disgust in me was so shocking, I didn’t know what to do with you. I was intrigued. And the more I got to know you, the more fascinated I became.”
“What about the bet?” I persisted, needing to know. “Did you make a bet with Luke that you could seduce me without using that love potion?”
He closed his eyes a moment and let out a deep sigh. “Yes, I did. But it wasn’t like it sounds. I promise I would never use you like that. I just didn’t want Luke anywhere near you, because I wanted you all for myself. I knew if I didn’t agree to the stupid bet, he might make a move on you. And a part of me was worried you might prefer him over me.”
That last sentence stunned me. Ryan had insecurities just like the rest of the world? That only endeared him to me even more, because it was proof that he was human.
“Luke said he would never do that,” I assured him. “He called it ‘bro code’. Said he would never go after a woman you were interested in.”
Ryan was silent a moment. “He said that?”
I nodded.
He shook his head and let out a soft laugh. “That fucker. He knew from the very beginning. That’s why he pushed me toward you.” He said it almost with wonder.
I wasn’t sure what he was talking about.
“He knew what?” I hedged.
Ryan chuckled. “He knew I was going to fall for you even before I knew. That’s why he made that stupid bet. To give me a shove in the right direction.” He let out another laugh. “Luke’s not a matchmaker. That’s why this is so shocking. He must have seen the goodness in you. He must have sensed how perfect you were for me.”
My breath caught as I looked into his beautiful amber eyes. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
“Do you believe in soulmates, Liz?”
Soulmates? My heart gave a crazy, excited thump. I swallowed hard and nodded, unable to look away. “Yes,” I whispered. “My parents are a good example of soulmates.”
His mouth curved into a sexy smile. “When a dreg meets his soulmate, he just knows. Do you feel the powerful connection between us? I have to know, Liz. You wanted me to start at the beginning, and I can honestly say you had me from the very beginning. You and me, we just click. You get me. But I have to know, the person I am, do you like him? Do you accept him? Do you want me, for me?” He paused, his gaze searching mine. There was earnestness in his eyes. A hint of fear. Was he afraid I didn’t want him? That I didn’t feel the connection? This gorgeous man had just barred his soul to me. That took courage.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I want you, Ryan. So much.” I lifted a hand to cup his cheek. “You are special. Even though I acted like I was pissed by all your flirting, inside I really liked it. You made me feel special. You made me feel pretty, when I haven’t felt pretty in a long time. I couldn’t believe a man like you would truly be interested in me. But I feel the connection between us. It’s amazing. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. And I do like the man you are. I do want you, Ryan, for you.”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “This is some heavy shit,” he murmured. “And I’ll admit it’s scary. But being with you makes me feel so good. It feels so real. And I’ve never had real before. I want that with you, Liz.”
Lizzz.
Ah God. He melted me every time he said my name like that.
“I feel it, too,” I admitted. “Real. But I’ve never jumped into a relationship with a man so quickly before.”
“I know you haven’t,” he said gently. “That’s one of the things that drew me to you. You’re not easy and I knew I was going to have to work for it. I knew I was going to have to earn your trust. But I learned that for the first time in my life, I didn’t want easy. I didn’t want a quickie. I wanted a girl who wanted more. I wanted a girl who wanted forever.”
A stunned silence fell. He was talking about forever. Soulmates. It seemed too much, too soon. We barely knew each other. Could he really be so certain
about me in such a short amount of time? Or was he just feeding me a line of bullshit?
“You’re kind of freaking me out here,” I said with a nervous laugh. “A part of me is still scared that you’re just bullshitting me so you can seduce me.”
He puffed out a breath. “Yeah, I’m freaking me out, too. But I would never bullshit you. While I’m not scared of physical intimacy, this type of intimacy—sharing feelings, barring souls—is really fucking scary. I wouldn’t open myself up to this kind of vulnerability if I wasn’t serious about you. If I wasn’t willing to go all in. Will you go all in with me, Liz?”
Lizzz.
God help me, I was such a goner. This man had me. There was no going back now. Only forward. Yes, I wanted to go all in with him. I wanted a chance at forever.
“Yes,” I whispered, staring into his eyes, my hand still cupping that smooth, clean-shaven jaw. “I’ll jump in with you, Ryan. I’ll go head first if you want. Hell, I dive right into the deep end with you.”
His eyes heated to smoldering pools of hot amber. “Are you sure about that, Liz?” His voice turned thick and heavy with desire. “Because if we dive in together, we just might drown.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Liz
I stared into Ryan’s eyes, the heat of his gaze melting every inch of me, until I was nothing but a pile of needy wantonness.
“Yes,” I breathed out. “If I’m going to drown, then I want to drown in you.”
He sucked in a breath, moaning softly, his eyelids lowering, partially hiding his gorgeous eyes. “Liz…do you have any idea how much I want you right now?”
“If it’s even half as much as I want you, then yes, I have a very good idea.” I ran my thumb gently over his bottom lip.
“You little tease,” he growled, his hand closing over my wrist. “Are you trying to kill me?” He turned my hand toward his face, kissing my palm.
Desire raged through me, and I shivered, my gaze locking on his in desperate need. “Ryan,” I pleaded. “Now you’re teasing me.”
His lips twitched, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of wickedness and desire. “There’s an art to seduction, my sweet Liz,” he whispered, flicking his tongue along my palm, making me gasp softly, my gaze still glued to his. “A man needs to know all of the erogenous zones on a woman’s body before he puts his hands on her. And when he touches her, he needs to learn which areas arouse his woman most so that he can give her the most satisfying, the most pleasurable experience.”
He kissed my palm again, and a fresh wave of heat washed over me. Oh God. Wetness pooled between my legs. I squeezed my thighs tightly together, but it was useless. I couldn’t fight what he was doing to me. I couldn’t escape the way he made me feel.
“But most men don’t realize that the most erogenous part of a woman’s body is her mind,” Ryan went on softly. “If I can’t get inside here…” he gently tapped my forehead. “…if I can’t seduce your mind, then I can’t seduce your body. If I can’t make you want me in here…” again, he gently tapped my forehead, “…then I can’t make you want me out here…” He waved between our bodies.
My breathing quickened. My pulse accelerated. I fought back a desperate moan. I wanted him to seduce me everywhere. Mind and body.
“Ryan,” I said impatiently. “You’re already in my mind. Stop tormenting me like this. Please, just…kiss me or something.”
He chuckled softly, but it sounded pained. “You think you’re the only one who’s being tormented here?” Then, to my great relief, he pressed his lips to mine. It was soft and fleeting, and not nearly enough, before he moved away, pressing gentle kisses along my jaw and down my throat, then back up to my ear. Hitting the erogenous zones.
I let out a soft squeak and squirmed. God, that drove me crazy when he sucked on my ear like that. “Ryan...”
He kissed back along my throat to my other ear, this time the kisses turning into soft nips of his teeth that made me moan and arch against him in need. How could a man drive me so crazy with nothing more than his mouth? And I was still fully clothed. It wasn’t fair. But God, it felt so damn good.
He nipped his way across my chest above the collar of his shirt that I wore, pausing as he slipped his hand up inside, his fingers gently trailing across my abdomen, making me quiver and moan, as he slowly moved higher, higher…
I opened my eyes to find him gazing down at me, his eyes hooded and smoldering with desire. “I want to see you, Liz. Can I?”
Hell yes!
I quickly squirmed out of the big sweatshirt, tossing it aside, my face heating at the way he stared at me.
He moaned. “Fuck, you’re stunning. You leave me breathless, Liz. Speechless.”
My face grew hotter as he continued to stare at me, his eyes smoldering with passion. I’d always been self-conscious about my large breasts, but under Ryan’s steady, lustful gaze, my self-consciousness fled. I swear my boobs swelled under his hot stare, growing heavy with desire, my nipples pert and aching for his touch.
The look in Ryan’s eyes was pure reverence. Holding my gaze, he gently reached out and cupped a breast in his palm, then gently ran his thumb over my nipple, making it pucker and harden with need. I closed my eyes on a soft moan. Then he lowered his head and covered my other breast with this mouth. His fingers tweaked and plucked at one nipple, while his mouth sucked on the other. I squirmed and gasped and arched into him, his touch driving me wild. It was the most erotic thing I’d ever experienced. A man paying so much attention to my breasts, completely captivated by them. Lap, suck, lick, pinch, squeeze, massage. Repeat. A man who knew exactly how to touch me to make me want more. And more. With nothing more than his expert touch, he made me so weak and wanton. So achy and wet. He made the painful memories of Mateo’s abuse completely disappear, until Mateo’s brutality had never really happened, and there was nothing and no one but the two of us.
I didn’t realize he’d maneuvered me back on the bed until he finally lifted his head, and I opened my eyes, looking up at him. My nipples were swollen and tender, wet from his mouth and sensitive from his touch. My sex ached for him, a steady, persistent throbbing between my thighs.
He lowered his head then and kissed me, fully, his tongue delving deep to claim, to take, to swirl and tangle with mine. Like our previous kisses, it was hot, erotic, flames scorching between us.
While he devoured my mouth, his fingers skimmed down my torso and back up, gentle caresses that made me want even more. God, he was driving me insane.
Then he kissed down my body and back up, down, then back up, finally pausing just beneath my navel, at the waistband of the sweatpants. He lifted his head, and I opened my eyes to meet his gaze.
“Can I?” he asked, his voice husky with desire.
I swallowed and nodded, lifting my hips to make it easier for him to remove the pants.
He was pretty skilled at doing things with one hand. He slipped his hand into the sweats, and with a gentle pull, he moved them slowly downward, baring my hips and pelvic region, then farther down, exposing my suddenly shaking thighs, and lower still, baring my lower legs, and finally, my feet.
He tossed the sweats aside and turned back to me, his gaze hungry as it crawled up my body, resting momentarily at the juncture of my thighs.
Heat swept into my face. Did he think my thighs were too fat? My stomach too round? My hips too wide?
I closed my eyes, afraid to look into his face and see his disappointment. It wasn’t just my breasts I was self-conscious about, but my body, too. I’d been called “chubby” before and I didn’t want Ryan to think I was fat. I wanted him to think I was sexy.
“You’re perfect, Liz,” he said huskily. “Just the way you are. You’ve got a gorgeous body. All those sexy curves. I like a woman to look and feel like a woman. I like to have something to hold onto when we make love.” His voice turned gentle, coaxing. “Look at me, Liz.”
I breathed in deeply for courage, then slowly exhaled, and opened my eyes.
“You’re beautiful. Everywhere. All of you. You’re so fucking sexy, I can barely contain myself here. I want to claim all of this lush beauty. Will you let me find all your pleasure places? Will you show me where you like to be kissed and touched? Will you let me consume you, all of you? Will you surrender to me and let me make you mine?”
Lush beauty? God, when he spoke like that, it sounded so sexy. No man had ever asked if he could make me his before. Ryan definitely knew how to make a woman feel good. I was literally quivering with desire. I wanted to surrender to him. I didn’t feel chubby and self-conscious anymore. I felt beautiful.
“Y-yes.”
“I won’t hurt you,” he promised. “Never will I hurt you. I will only bring you pleasure. I think I have a pretty good idea of what you might like, but I’m going to need some kind of communication from you so I know if I’m doing something you don’t like, okay?”
I couldn’t imagine him doing anything I wouldn’t like. I nodded, my gaze still locked on his.
His lips curved into the sexiest smile.
“Do I have the green light to continue?”
“Yes,” I breathed out, my voice shaky. Please, continue.
“Close your eyes and relax,” he murmured. “And let yourself feel.”
Anticipation arced through me. Followed immediately by a hot wave of desire. My breathing quickened. I did as he suggested, closing my eyes, but I was unable to relax because my anticipation was too strong, my need for him too high. I began to tremble, my fingers clutching at the bedspread.
“Relax, sexy Liz,” he whispered, just before I felt his lips kissing down my leg, his fingers gently caressing my calf. A sigh escaped me. God, it felt so good. No one had ever kissed my legs before. I relaxed into the bed, enjoying the gentle kisses and soft caresses. No man had ever touched me with such tenderness before. Such reverence.
He moved slowly upward, kissing my inner thighs, moving from one to the other. My anticipation returned, my tension increasing. My legs spread of their own accord, inviting him closer. Urging him home.
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